Chapter Twenty-One
GAGE WOKE UP to the sounds of howling winds Saturday morning. Sally was draped across his chest, the ring on her left hand a reminder of their magical night. They’d stayed up late with Rusty watching A Christmas Story. And even though Rusty had borrowed Gage’s truck so he could stay at the other house one last night, Gage’s house felt settled, and more like a home, despite having a big day of moving ahead of them.
Sally snuggled closer. Her thigh moved over his, and all her sweet softness pressed against him, arousing the sleeping giant between his legs.
“Why are you awake?” she asked sleepily.
“Just woke up.” He kissed her cheek and moved over her. “Good morning, beautiful bird.” Perched on his forearms, he nuzzled against her neck.
“Feels like your eager eagle is searching for a nest.”
He chuckled. “We have a big”—he pressed his lips to hers—“important day ahead of us. How do you want to do it?”
“I’m not a sexpert, but I’m pretty sure we can do it just like this.” Her hips rose off the bed.
He nipped at her lower lip. “I mean the move. Do you want some time alone with Rusty at the house?”
“Oh. You want me to think clearly with you lying naked on top of me? Not happening.”
He kissed his way down her neck, pushing her arms up above her head. “Try to concentrate.” He swirled his tongue around her nipple, bringing it to a tight nub. Then he took it between his teeth, tugging ever so gently, until she bowed off the bed.
“Oh God—”
He lowered his mouth over the peak and sucked it against the roof of his mouth, rocking his hips and rubbing his cock against her wetness. He released her breast and said, “The move, bird. Do you want some time alone with Rusty?”
“No,” came out in a hot whisper.
He blazed a path south, tasting every luscious inch as he went. Her knees drew up, and he pushed his hands beneath her bottom, lifting her sex to his mouth. She rocked and moaned, urging him on.
“Watch me love you, baby.”
She trapped her lower lip between her teeth and her eyes fluttered open, her gaze locking on him. Damn, that was a fucking turn-on. The heat of her gaze seared into him as he placed openmouthed kisses along her inner thighs and around her swollen, wet lips. She fisted her hands in the sheets, and he did it again, coming torturously close to the promised land. She writhed and whimpered.
Holding her gaze, he said, “Tell me what you want, baby.”
“Lick me…there.”
He dragged his tongue around her clit and reached for her hand. She squeezed his fingers as he teased her sensitive nerves.
“Lower,” she pleaded.
He brought her finger to his mouth, swirling his tongue around it.
“That’s so hot,” she said breathlessly.
“Not nearly as hot as this.” He placed her hand between her legs. Her eyes widened, and he covered her hand with his, moving it how he knew she liked it. “Touch yourself for me, baby. You’re so sexy. Let me watch you.”
She closed her eyes, and he said, “Eyes open, bird. I want to see the love in them.” He knew he was pushing her past her comfort zone, but he also sensed she wanted to be pushed.
Her eyes opened and she met his gaze as she touched herself. He lowered his mouth to her sex, licking and loving her into a frenzy of desire. When he pushed his fingers inside her, she moaned, and her hand stilled.
“Keep going, baby. Don’t stop. Help me get you there.”
She moved her hand, biting her lower lip, and looking sexy as hell. Her eyes were dark and sultry, and her gorgeous breasts moved with her efforts as she played his seductive game. He stroked the spot that tore a long, guttural moan from her lungs, and she clutched the sheet. He sucked her clit between his teeth as she rode his hand, and a stream of sinful sounds poured from her lips.
“Oh God, Gage. Don’t stop. Right there. Oooh.”
As she came down from the peak, he guided her legs onto his shoulders and feasted on her, taking her right up to the peak again. She was right there with him, bucking against his mouth, pulling his hair. There was no slowing down as he teased and pleased, until she collapsed to the mattress, gasping for air, a sated smile on her lips.
Gage sheathed his hard length and she reached for him. That’s my girl, always ready for more.
“I love you, bird,” he said against her neck as their bodies came together.
Heat spread like wildfire, burning through his veins, rushing from his core all the way to his fingertips. He captured Sally’s mouth in a ravenous kiss. She tasted heavenly, and felt even better, cradled beneath him. Their bodies moved in sweet harmony. But it wasn’t enough. Would anything ever be? Cradling her in his arms, he shifted positions and lay beneath her, feeling greedy and needing to see all of her. She straddled his hips, her long blond hair sweeping over her breasts. A coy smile reached all the way up to her eyes.
“Ride ’em, cowboy,” she said playfully.
She used his shoulders for balance as she rode him, her hair curtaining their faces. He rose and took her breast in his mouth, sucking so hard she cried out. When he pulled away, she grabbed his head, guiding it to her other breast, which he lavished with the same fierce love. He moved his hand between her legs, taking her higher. Her breathing hitched and her eyes slammed closed. She gasped in sweet agony as her climax claimed her. The feel and sight of her coming sent him soaring after her.
“Love you, bird—” he ground out, surrendering to his own powerful release.
When the last aftershock rippled through their bodies, she collapsed against him, and they rolled onto their sides. She snuggled in close, murmuring lovingly into his chest.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“I think I should be thanking you.”
She tipped her chin up and laughed. The sweet melody cut straight to his heart. “Not for the sex, you nut. For believing everything would work out when I was so worried.”
He pressed his lips to hers. “We have yet to master keeping our hands off each other while we’re at work.”
“We will.” She giggled. “After we cross my desk off our naughty to-do list.”
“We have a naughty to-do list?”
“After last night we do…”
SALLY STOOD IN the doorway of Rusty’s childhood bedroom watching him empty his desk drawers. Gage was in the kitchen, packing dishes and pots and pans for Rusty to use at his apartment, and a few odds and ends Sally had wanted. The rest would go to Goodwill, along with the furniture. Sally had long ago gotten rid of Dave’s things, save for a few small items she’d saved for Rusty.
Rusty pulled open another drawer and began sifting through the contents. She remembered when they’d bought him the wooden desk when he was twelve. Mom, I need a desk more than I need a dresser. It hadn’t made sense to her, since he’d refused to do homework anywhere but in front of the television. But he’d been so adamant, she’d caved, and they’d bought the desk. It wasn’t until two weeks later, when she’d noticed that he’d set up the desk just as his father’s was set up in the den, that she’d realized he was connecting with Dave—over a desk.
Was he thinking of his father now?
She walked in and put a hand on his shoulder. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah. Just going through all this crap.” He glanced up with a casual half smile that reminded her of Dave. “I had no idea I’d kept so much junk.” He tossed a handful of papers into the trash. “Look what I found in my closet.”
He crossed the room and reached into another box, withdrawing a stack of pictures. “Remember these?”
She sat on the bed, looking through the photographs. “How could I forget? They were taken on your thirteenth birthday.” Her heart ached at the sight of Dave and Rusty beaming into the camera, holding ski poles in front of the slopes. Their cheeks were pink, and their hair poked out from beneath their hats. The look of sheer excitement in their eyes brought her smile.
“Aspen,” Rusty said. “That was a great trip.” He went back to his desk and opened another drawer. “I shouldn’t have been such a dick when I was a teenager. I don’t know how you and Dad put up with me.”
Sally looked up from the pictures. “You weren’t a dick, and I don’t like that word. You were a typical moody teenager.”
“Then all teenagers are dicks.”
She turned back to the pictures, flipping through a few of Rusty and Dave. They were so happy that day. All of them. She uncovered the last picture, revealing a photograph of her and Dave. Her breath caught in her throat. Dave was looking at her adoringly. She pressed the photograph to her chest, tears slipping down her cheeks, and closed her eyes against a thread of guilt tightening like a noose around her neck.
She wiped her eyes. “Sorry.”
“You okay?”
“Yes.” She handed him the pictures. “Those are nice, honey. Do you want me to put them in an album for you?”
“Nah. I’ll throw them in my desk at Gage’s.” He set them in the box and exhaled a long sigh. “Shouldn’t this feel different? Worse or something? You cried when you saw the pictures, but I didn’t feel that. I mean, I miss Dad like crazy sometimes, but I feel like I moved out two years ago. And I feel guilty for not feeling guilty about it. Shouldn’t I feel like I’m turning my back on him or something?”
“No, honey. You did move out two years ago, and you said goodbye to your father over the years. I think that’s normal.” She patted the mattress beside her and he sat down. “Did I ever tell you about when I found out I was pregnant with you?”
“Just that I was an accident.”
“A blessing,” she corrected, and he scoffed. “Okay, an accidental blessing. Rusty, I got pregnant before your dad and I were married. I probably should have told you that a long time ago, but I didn’t want you thinking it was a good idea to get some girl pregnant.”
A cocky grin spread across his handsome face. “That would never have even entered my mind. Kids are nowhere near my radar screen.”
“Good.” She shook her head. “You’re not mad that I didn’t tell you?”
“Why do I care? You also got drunk and married Gage. It kind of makes you human instead of the perfect mom you always seemed like.”
“Hardly perfect. Your grandparents had a really hard time with it, and they didn’t talk to me for a long time after I married your dad. I remember when I moved out. I never looked back, and even though my parents were still alive, I felt abandoned. But I had Dave, and I had you on the way, and I didn’t miss them like people thought I should have. I think certain events move us forward and make it easier to close the doors that we leave behind. Maybe it’s self-preservation, or maybe it’s just time really does heal all wounds.”
She brushed his hair from his forehead, and he moved out of her reach, the way kids did when their mothers were being overly touchy.
“You don’t need to feel guilty for moving on with your life. Your father would have wanted that for you. And you aren’t leaving his memory behind by moving out.” She pressed her hand to his chest, over his heart. “He lives on in here, and that’s something that has taken me a while to come to grips with, too. I think, or hope, it’s normal. But I guess that doesn’t matter so much. It’s our normal.”
“Hey, I never claimed to be normal,” he teased. “Now please get out of my room so I can get rid of all the dirty magazines I’ve got hidden under my mattress.”
“Really, Rusty?”
He rolled his eyes. “Do you think I’d buy magazines when I can get it for free online?”
She covered her ears, laughing as she headed down the hall. “I don’t need to know this about you.”
Rusty and Gage left a little while later to pick up more boxes, and Sally packed up her things from the bedroom. Her stomach growled, but she felt too queasy to eat. Hopefully after the move things would settle down.
When she finished with her closet, she went into the bathroom and began emptying the cabinet beneath the sink. She was a bit of a hoarder when it came to toiletries. She stacked up extra rolls of toilet paper, boxes of toothpaste, two unopened toothbrushes, and a half-empty box of Q-Tips. The supply of junk was endless. She found a pack of bobby pins that she couldn’t remember buying, and a handful of hairclips went directly into the trash. They looked like they were from the nineties, and probably were. She reached behind the annoyingly centered pipes and grabbed three slim boxes. Pregnancy tests. Holy cow, those had to be ten years old.
She sat on the tile floor thinking back to when she and Dave had thought she was pregnant. He’d freaked out. He definitely hadn’t wanted more children, though she would have liked more. He had been glad when Rusty began having a social life, which allowed her and Dave to have more time together and also freed up Dave to do more of what he loved most—skiing.
She eyed the boxes again. Why on earth would she have needed so many? She glanced into the cabinet and spied two more pregnancy tests beneath a box of tampons and remembered she’d bought them in bulk. She made a mental note to never let a bathroom vanity turn into the Bermuda Triangle again, and looked over the boxes. Danica’s voice sailed into her mind. Are you sure you’re not preggers? Okay, she might have been ignoring the fact that she was almost a week late, but her periods had never been all that regular and her life had been a roller coaster lately.
She opened one of the boxes and shook out the contents. What could it hurt to take a test? Her pulse spiked with the possibility, though rationally she knew there was no chance of her being pregnant. She and Gage had never had sex without protection. She tore open the packaging, pulled down her jeans, and sat on the toilet, willing herself to pee.
Did she want to be pregnant? Her heart felt full with the thought of how much joy a baby would bring Gage, but was she ready to dive back into diapers and three a.m. feedings? Colic and…sweet baby giggles? She loved those giggles.
She set the test on the counter, checked the time on her phone, and went back to cleaning out the cabinet from hell, her mind whizzing with uncertainty. One minute later she was staring at the stick, her heart slamming against her ribs as two blue lines formed right before her eyes. Her jaw dropped open, and she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She picked up another box and tore it open.
Fifteen minutes later she sat crying on the bathroom floor, surrounded by five empty boxes, four positive pregnancy tests and one negative.
“Mom?” Rusty called from the bedroom. “Gage went to pick up lunch. I put the boxes—”
She dove across the floor, scrambling to gather the evidence.
“What are you…?”
She turned, clutching the pregnancy paraphernalia to her chest. She wiped her eyes, and several boxes tumbled from her grip.
“You’re crying.” Rusty picked up one of the tests, and understanding rose in his eyes. He sank down to his butt beside her.
“These are old tests,” she said quickly. “I’m not sure they work.”
“Mom, is this why you’re crying?” He set the test on the floor, his gaze skirting over the others as she pushed them all away.
There was no lying, no covering up or waiting to talk to Gage. Could she make Rusty’s life any harder? Fresh tears burned down her cheeks. “I can’t be pregnant. We’ve been careful. Not that you want to know that about your mother, but…” She shrugged. “I’m old enough to be a grandmother.”
“Bite your tongue,” he said with a smile.
“Well, I am. You’re fully capable of making babies.”
“Apparently so are you.” He draped an arm over her shoulders.
It felt safe and comfortable in a way that it probably shouldn’t. He was her child. She should be comforting him.
“Mom, what’s wrong? Don’t you want kids with Gage?”
“Yes! But we’re not even settled yet, and it’s been a long time since I’ve had a baby to deal with. What if I’m not as patient anymore? And what about you? God, how could this happen?”
“Well,” he said with a sly grin. “You see, when two people love each other—”
She elbowed him and he laughed. “You know what I mean. Rusty, I keep messing up your life, throwing drunken weddings at you and moving out of the house.”
“Do you really believe that?” His gaze turned serious. “You’re an amazing mother. You’re patient and you’re loving. And most importantly, you’ve put off being happy for years because of me.”
“I’ve been happy.”
He shook his head. “No. You’re happy with Gage, Mom. You’ve been managing without him for a long time. Everyone who has ever seen you two together knows how much you love him. And he loves you so much. Man, after the talk we had in the truck on the way home from the airport, all I can say is that I hope I’m lucky enough someday to love someone the way he loves you.”
She wiped her tears, in awe over her son’s adult attitude. She’d expected to be reamed for having gotten pregnant. “You really have no bad feelings about any of this?” She picked up a pregnancy test. “What about this? Becoming a big brother at twenty?”
“Well, I’ll probably be twenty-one by the time the little guy is born, but no, I don’t have any hard feelings. I’ll be the little dude’s cool older brother and teach him all the things he needs to know.”
“You realize it could be a girl.”
“And I’ll protect her with my life.” He paused, and in that moment, his serious expression made him look five years older. “Mom, you don’t need to feel guilty for moving on with your life, either. I’m happy for you and Gage.”
Hearing her own words given back to her with such care brought more tears. Damn pregnancy hormones.
“Bird?” Gage appeared in the bathroom doorway. “What’s going on?”
Before Sally could respond, Rusty said, “You’re going to be a dad…Dad.”
“I’M…WHAT?” GAGE took in the mess strewn across the bathroom floor, spotting pregnancy tests among the chaos of toiletries. A smile tugged at his lips as Sally and Rusty rose to their feet. “You’re pregnant?”
Sally shrugged, laughing and crying at once. She was doing a lot of that lately, and this explained it all.
“Baby!” He lifted her off her feet and kissed her. “We’re going to have a baby!” He searched her eyes, making sure she was okay with the news. His answer came in the form of a radiant, joyful smile.
She nodded, tears sliding down her cheeks. “We are.”
Tears filled his eyes as he spun her around. He stopped midtwirl and set her on her feet. “Sorry, bird. That’s probably not good for the baby, right?”
“It’s fine,” she said.
Gage’s mind spun. He was elated over the news, and when he turned to Rusty, Rusty’s words came back to him. “You called me Dad.”
Rusty shoved his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans and looked sheepishly down at the floor. “Yeah. That was weird, dude.”
“Right?” Gage laughed under his breath. “Weird.”
“Sorry, man, but you’re Gage to me.”
Gage pulled Rusty into a manly embrace, patting him on the back. “It’s cool. I’d rather be Gage than ‘that asshole.’ Come on, let’s go celebrate. I brought lunch, and we have some shouting from the rooftops to do.”
“Huh?” Rusty arched a brow.
“You’ll get used to it,” Sally said. “In fact, you’ll probably grow to love it.”