I’ve ignored life for the last two days by holing up at my parents’ house, skipping class, and missing practice. But I can’t put off the reality of what happened and I can’t let it ruin my life. I have responsibilities and I need to face this head on.

Trevor texted and called me repeatedly each day. I deleted every message without reading them. Every voicemail he left, I deleted without listening.

I made the decision that it’s time to buckle down and get myself back on track. I made an error in judgement by going out with Trevor and at least I learned early on. I didn’t waste years on him like I did with my ex. I can’t allow myself to spiral downward and ruin my life.

Glancing at the clock on the wall behind the counter, I notice the time. Trevor’s shift starts in ten minutes and I expect him to walk in at any moment. I refuse to let him bait me while we’re at work. We’re not discussing what happened. I don’t care how hard he tries to push me to listen to his pathetic excuses. This is not the place to hash it all out, and really there’s no right time or place to do so. It’s over and done with. I just want to move on from it.

“Hey, Red,” Trevor’s deep voice travels up my spine to tickle the nape of my neck. I grit my teeth, holding in the shiver. I won’t let him see how much he affects me. He lost that right.

“Hi.” I can be professional while we’re here, but that’s all. If I see him on campus or in class we won’t be exchanging any pleasantries.

“Where do you want me?”

Anywhere but here. I busy myself wiping down the counter. Anything to avoid looking at him. Thinking about him is painful enough. Looking at him might kill me. Can I make it through this entire shift without looking at him?

“Go ask my dad if he needs you.”

“Sure thing.”

Turns out my father didn’t need Trevor’s help and he’s been working out front with me. He’s charming with the customers and he brings everything to them in a timely manner. I haven’t looked at him once.

Okay, that’s a lie.

I’ve peeked at him a hundred times at least, but they’ve all been brief and when he wasn’t aware. He looks as tired as I feel, and that makes me feel a tiny bit of satisfaction. Why should I be the only miserable one? Especially when I didn’t do anything wrong.

I push open the door to the kitchen and call out to my dad, “Hey, old man. Do you need anything?”

“Come here, honey. I want to talk to you.” I close the distance between us. “How are you doing with everything that happened?”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, Fireball, and you don’t need to pretend to be.”

“Okay. It sucks. I’m sad. And seeing him doesn’t help.”

“Have the two of you talked things out yet?”

“What’s there to talk out? He got caught.”

“How do you know those pictures mean exactly what you think? Isn’t there a chance that things might not be as they seem?”

“They looked pretty damn clear to me.”

“Hear Trevor out. What can it hurt?”

“Dad, can we not talk about this anymore? You’re making me angry and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret later.”

“Sure. We can talk about it another time.” He winks.

I roll my eyes. “You’re a riot.”

The rest of the shift passes without incident. I lean my forehead on the cool glass of the door as I flip the lock and turn the sign to ‘Closed’. The cold temperature against my skin feels soothing. I’ve got a headache from frowning every time I look in Trevor’s direction. Or hear his voice. Or see him. Or smell his familiar manly scent. Ugh, it feels like he’s everywhere I turn and I want to scream with frustration and anger. I want to poke him in his broad chest and ask him why he did this. How could he hurt me, the person he professed to love so much?

I find myself growing more upset as we do the end of the shift tasks we need to complete before we leave. It’s too difficult to be around him under these circumstances. My head hates him for what he did, but my heart is another story. Why can’t my heart catch up?

Scrubbing furiously at the countertop with a cloth and cleaning spray, I throw my weight into it, determined to remove any flicker of residue there might be. It’s a good outlet for my anger and when I’m finished my fatigued arm muscles ache. Setting the cloth and spray down on the sparkling granite, I turn around and jump when I find Trevor there.

“What the hell?”

He chuckles, “Sorry, Red. I didn’t want to scare you. I just want a minute to talk to you.”

“What about me? What about what I want? Doesn’t that matter?”

“Of course it does. You’re the most important person to me.” He steps closer, his large frame caging me against the back counter. I want to punch him in the nose and kiss him at the same time.

I’m an idiot. Kiss him? What the hell’s wrong with me? How can I want his lips anywhere near mine? My traitorous thoughts enrage me and my heart races inside my chest driving my fury higher.

“Spare me the spiel about how much you love me. You aren’t worth the heartache I’m dealing with.” I poke my finger into his chest just like I’ve imagined. “You’re a selfish, spoiled asshole who doesn’t care about anyone else. You can’t see past your own needs.” A muscle in his cheek tics and his nostrils flare. I don’t give him a chance to reply. “I was a fool for falling in love with you. I let you convince me you were different. The only difference is you pretended to love me instead of just using me for sex. The charade is over. Go back to your easy piece of ass and leave me alone. Now get out of my way, my ride is here.”

His jaw is rigid as he steps back and lets me pass. I shut off the lights and hold the door open until he walks through. Locking up, I shove the keys in my pocket and head toward the Uber waiting at the curb.

“You’re going to regret not hearing me out, Red. I just hope it won’t be too late.” His voice rings out as my fingers grip the door handle of the back door of the car. Regret not giving him a chance to persuade me with lies? I don’t think so.

3 days later

Why do I have to share a class with Trevor? Ugh. I can’t believe I’m about to walk in and have all eyes on me. I wanted to be early so I could sneak into my seat with few or no witnesses, but of course I’m later than ever.

I skipped this class last Wednesday, so this is the first time I’ve seen these people since they dropped the bombshell on me one week ago. While my emotions still lie in ruin, my physical appearance doesn’t reflect that state. I took extra time with my appearance, wearing my hair down and I even put some makeup on. Which is why I’m running late. But at least I look good.

Keeping my chin up, I walk into the classroom as if I have all the confidence in the world. In reality I’m afraid I might toss my cookies at any moment, or trip on the way to my chair.

Trevor’s not in his usual seat next to mine. My gaze roams around to see if I can spot him anywhere else. Sure enough, he’s sitting with Clancy in the back with a gaggle of girls around him. What a fucking surprise. Our eyes meet, a torrent of emotions flicker through his in an instant.

I settle at my desk and prepare for Professor Gordon to begin. I force myself to focus on the less than inspiring lecture she delivers, and not on all the eyes that I can feel locked on me. The whispers died down after class began, but I know they’ll pick right up again once we’re let out. As determined as I am to pay attention to the professor, it’s only a short amount of time before my thoughts begin to wander.

I’m never taking an early Monday class again. I should still be asleep, lost in dreamland where I can escape Trevor.

Who am I kidding? He’s been starring in the leading role every night. No matter what the subject matter of my dreams are, I wake up feeling like there’s a massive hole in my chest. My heart has been sucked inward by the mammoth sinkhole of our relationship.

When there’s less than a minute until class lets out, I rise from my seat and hurry to the door. Once I’m in the hallway, I sling my backpack over my shoulder and speed walk down the tile floors until I’m safely outside. I pause on the stairs and close my eyes. I made it through class without showing how wrecked I am. A sense of pride infuses me. Maybe it can fill up some of the cracks in my heart caused by Trevor.

I jog down the stairs and pause when I see Owen standing there. His hands are tucked in the front pockets of his jeans.

“Hey. How are you doing?” he questions.

I continue forward closing the distance between us. “I’m peachy.” My sarcasm is knife sharp and it shouldn’t be directed at him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be rude to you.”

He smiles. “No worries. Do you have to get to class?”

“No, I’m heading back to my dorm.”

“Can I walk with you?”

I shrug. “Sure.” What’s this about?

He doesn’t speak for the first couple of minutes. We just maneuver around the thick city crowd that always seems to be on these sidewalks no matter the time of day.

“I saw the blog post.” I nod. “I was with Trevor when he found out about it. We had just finished practice and Nolan confronted him in the locker room.”

Nolan did that for me? Trevor’s one of the team captains. He could’ve gotten in big trouble for standing up to him.

“The reason why I’m telling you this is because I know Trevor didn’t do anything with Sandy. He wouldn’t lie to me. We own our shit with each other and never candy coat it. He was genuinely surprised when he saw the blog post.”

“Yeah, I bet. Surprised he got caught.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. He worked late and Sandy was there working too.”

“Worked? He doesn’t work anywhere but the cafe.”

“I’m not going to go into that part, you guys can talk about it. I want you to hear me out.” I nod agreeing to let him continue. “When it came time for Trevor to leave work she was drunk off her ass and high on pills. He had to give her a ride home and she could barely walk once they got there. He helped her to her room and then immediately left. I know he’s not lying because I was in my room when he came home. And Zeke was also already home so don’t come back at me that it could’ve been him.”

“That doesn’t prove he and Sandy didn’t have sex. It just proves he didn’t sleep over.”

“Grace, I want you to think about the Trevor you’ve gotten to know and love. Do you think he’d do something to risk your relationship?”

“I didn’t think so, but now I’m not sure.”

“He’s in love with you. I’ve never seen him as happy as he’s been since you came into his life. There’s a lot going on with Trevor you don’t know about. He was planning on telling you this week, but everything blew up in his face before he had the opportunity.”

“Is he sick?” My stomach sinks at the thought.

“No, he’s fine. But he’s got a lot that he’s juggling and he didn’t want to burden you with. Maybe you should at least hear him out before you decide he’s guilty.”

I’m not sure what to do. Owen is his best friend. Would he lie for him? Probably. But if Trevor did cheat and he got caught, why would he want to be with me anymore? He could go back to his no strings sex and not have to put any effort in.

“I know the pictures seem convincing, but if you look at them again, without assuming he’s guilty, you’ll notice he’s holding her up. Take another look and try to be objective as if it’s not your boyfriend.”

Ex-boyfriend, I’m tempted to retort just to be contrary, but Owen doesn’t deserve my bitterness.

“Look, I’m not sure what I’m going to do, but I’ll think about what you told me. This last week has been really difficult and I’m doing my best to move past it.”

We come to a stop in front of my building. “Do you really want to move past Trevor? You guys are great together. You belong with each other.”

“I thought so too, but everything’s changed. You can’t fight change Owen, you have to adjust and accept it.”

“But what if everything I told you is true, Grace? Are you really willing to throw away what could be the love of your life because of some dumb blog post?”

What if he’s right and I’m making a huge mistake?