Chapter 16

Jace

The sound of my phone blasting beside my ear had me jerking upright in bed. Heart pounding, I didn’t even glance at the clock before answering.

But before I could ask what the fuck was going on, Harris was already talking a mile a minute. “Get here, man! I’m about to be a dad.”

“She’s in labor for real?” I was slightly skeptical.

Lucy had been having contractions on and off since her baby shower on Sunday. It was the middle of the night now, Tuesday going into Wednesday. Kin had been sending me various texts letting me know Lucy’s progress, and I’d been a little grumpy because that was all she would talk to me about. If I mentioned anything heavier than that, she would go radio silent on me, and I’d be left staring at my phone, begging those three dots to appear.

“Her water broke. We’re at the hospital, and she’s being wheeled up to a room right now.”

“Hey, Jace!” Lucy’s voice called out. “Please hurry. Harris needs you to keep him calm.”

I grinned as I got out of bed. “I’m on my way. Be there as soon as I can.”

“Pick up coffee,” my best friend instructed, and I could hear the stress in his voice under all the excitement. Lucy was right; I would need to keep him calm.

“Kin there?” I asked as I pulled on sweat pants and grabbed a shirt. Picking up my keys and wallet, I sprinted through the apartment and out the door.

“Right here beside me.”

“Good. I’ll pick up enough for everyone, minus Lucy.” The elevator arrived seconds after I pressed the call button, and I stepped inside. “I’ll be there as soon as I can, bro.”

Coffee in hand, I walked into the birthing center of the hospital where Lucy had planned on having the baby from the moment she found out she was pregnant. The place was like a fortress, and I had to show ID to get through. Luckily, my friends had already put me on the list of guests who could be allowed entrance. I still had to step through a metal detector and then be wanded down before I was allowed to proceed to the room Harris texted me earlier.

In front of the double doors to the labor and delivery floor, Marcus was already standing at attention, along with the guard I remembered normally shadowed Emmie’s daughter, Mia. Seeing me, the man who had been a part of Lucy’s life for as long as I’d known her opened the door for me.

A closer look at him made me realize he was gray under his normal tan, the only outward sign he was nervous. The guy loved Lucy, and I figured this was going to be hard on him, especially since he was out here while she was inside somewhere, going through the pains of labor.

Moments later, I was inside the spacious private room where Lucy would eventually deliver baby Hayat. Lucy was sitting on a workout ball, her hips shifting from side to side. Harris’s long legs were stretched out in front of him as he sat behind her on a rolling chair, rubbing her back. There was an IV hooked to Lucy’s hand, some kind of monitor I didn’t understand attached to her stomach, and a pained look twisting her beautiful face.

Kin sat in front of her, showing her how to breathe through the pain, but I wasn’t sure how much help that was because Lucy looked like she was in agony.

As I entered the room, the three of them looked up. “How is it going?” I asked as I set down the drink carrier filled with coffees. “We going to have a baby soon?”

“Not even close to soon,” Lucy grumbled, her body seeming to droop, and I could only guess her contraction was over for the moment.

“She’s only dilated to a three,” Harris explained. “This will probably take a while.”

“Good thing I got extra shots of espresso in all the coffee, then,” I said with a grin, passing him his cup and then taking Kin’s and mine so I could sit beside her.

She took her cup, sipping it like it was liquid gold, and moaned when she realized I’d gotten her the chocolate mocha with caramel drizzle just the way she liked it. I sat back, dropping my arm across the back of the surprisingly comfortable couch, watching her enjoy her coffee. “Did they make it right?”

She nodded. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

Her blue eyes met mine, and fuck, I wanted to kiss her so damn bad. If I hadn’t screwed everything up, I wouldn’t have hesitated. But I didn’t have the right to kiss her freely now, and that realization made my chest feel like it was being squeezed in a vise. Instead, I pushed a few strands of hair that fell from her ponytail back behind her ear and reminded myself it was my own fault.

“I’m surprised your dad isn’t already here, Lu,” I told her a few minutes later, after she’d gone through another painful contraction.

“We’re waiting to tell everyone I’m in labor until I’ve progressed a little further. I don’t want Daddy freaking out the entire time.” Kin fed Lucy a scoop of ice chips, and she started crunching on them. “Let him sleep through most of this.”

“But Emmie knows?”

“We had to call her so she could get in front of security issues and keep the paps from trying to sneak their way in.” She pressed her lips together, disgusted. “That’s all I need—for one of those assholes to sneak in and get a picture of me with my legs spread and my baby’s head crowning.”

“Gross, Lucy,” Kin said with a snort.

“Ah, fuck,” Lucy groaned, her face a mask of pure pain.

Kin thrust her coffee into my hands and then grabbed both of Lucy’s, helping her focus and breathe through the worst of the pain. Harris rubbed her back the entire time. Sitting there, unable to do anything to assist, I felt useless. But at the same time, I didn’t want to be anywhere else but with the three of them.

Hours passed, sunlight began to peek through the windows, and suddenly, Jesse Thornton was there and making the room feel suffocating. I stayed back, keeping quiet in the corner of the room while the Demon freaked out with every small sound that left his daughter’s throat. I didn’t know who I was more concerned about—Lucy, in so much pain from the labor, or Jesse, who looked like he was going to pass out at any moment. He was sweating just as badly as his daughter, his face ravaged by worry.

Not long after the Thorntons arrived, the Cutters made an entrance. With all the people filling up the room, I knew it was only a matter of time before the staff started kicking out the nonfamily members, and I wasn’t ready to leave my friends yet.

But no one told me to go, and I stuck around, thankful to be a part of this crazy experience with them.

And to be with Kin.

She was amazing with Lucy and even got Jesse to calm down and laugh a few times. But those moments were short-lived, and when she wasn’t helping Lucy breathe through her contractions, she tended to come back to sit beside me. She looked exhausted, but damn was she still beautiful. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright with lack of sleep, and her hair was now in a messy bun because her ponytail had fallen twice already.

I would have been content just to sit there and look at her for a million years.

I was a little relieved, however, when the doctor came in and announced it was time to push. Lucy’s pain was escalating, and those moans she was making every time the contractions hit were making me sweat. I didn’t like that she was in so much pain. I wanted to take it all away from her, and I could tell Harris was about to lose his mind if this wasn’t over soon.

I was ready to sprint out of the room, but Jesse didn’t want to leave, and I was wondering if Devlin and I were going to have to physically drag him out of the room.

“Daddy!” Lucy suddenly snapped. “I’m about to have my bottom half exposed for the entire world to see. Please, for the love of gods, just go before you see something neither one of us can come back from.”

Jesse’s face paled, and he nodded. “Okay, Lu. Okay. I’ll be out in the waiting room. If you need me, just scream.”

“I’m about to scream now,” she cried. “I’m not pushing this baby out until you are out of this room.”

Kin, Natalie, and Layla stayed behind with Harris, and I heard a few laughs as the door shut behind me and the two grandfathers. They both seemed shell-shocked, and I herded them down the hall to the waiting room.

There wasn’t a free seat in the place, as all of Lucy’s family and friends had filtered in to await the birth of baby Hayat. It looked like a party was taking place in there, and I heard a few of them telling stories about when Lucy and Harris were younger and how hard it was to believe those two babies were having a baby.

Lana stood as soon as she saw Jesse and came over to usher him to a seat between her and Drake, who was holding their newborn son in his arms. Lana patted Jesse on the arm every few minutes, trying to comfort her brother-in-law, but he looked like he didn’t hear a word she or anyone else said to him.

Kassa and Gray were just walking through the door when I pulled a cup of weak-ass coffee from the vending machine. Seeing me, my sister came over to join me.

“How is she?”

I scratched my chin, the lack of sleep starting to make itself known. “She’s pushing right now. Hopefully it won’t be long now.”

Twenty minutes later, Kin walked into the room, and everyone seemed to hold their breath. Beaming, she announced, “She’s here!”

As everyone cheered, Kin went straight over to Jesse and hugged him. “Lucy says you can come back now. She’s all covered up, and she wants to introduce you to your granddaughter.” His throat began to work as her gaze went to Devlin. “You can go back too, Pop-Pop,” she told him with a wink.

If I hadn’t seen how fast the Demon moved to get out of the room, I never would have believed it was possible. He ran out the door, Devlin right behind him.

The entire room watched him with a mixture of amusement and loving concern. Devlin gave Kin a quick hug, thanked her for coming to tell him, and rushed after the other drummer.

Kin looked like she was about to drop, and I moved toward her as Lana and Emmie started throwing questions at her about the delivery. While they talked about Hayat’s weight and length and the mop of dark curls she had come into the world with, I slowly eased in beside Kin and then edged her away from the group.

“Are you hungry?” I asked, steering her toward the door.

“Starving,” she said with a groan, and I heard her stomach growling. “But more than anything, I need coffee.”

I hit the call button for the elevator. “Cafeteria or one of the fast-food places across the street?”

She pressed her lips together in thought before shaking her head. “Cafeteria. I don’t want to go too far. I know Lucy is going to be surrounded by family for the next few hours, but I’m itching to hold Hayat as soon as I get the chance.”

Her face glowed as she spoke about the baby, and I could almost picture her with our kids years down the road. Kin was going to make a great mom, and as soon as I fixed what I’d broken with us, I was going to give her as many babies as she wanted.

As we stepped into the cafeteria a few minutes later, her phone rang, and she pulled it from her back jeans pocket to see who was calling. I glanced at the screen over her shoulder, saw the name Derrick flash across the screen, and instantly went cold inside.

Who the fuck was Derrick?

Jealousy began to eat at me, but it calmed down somewhat when she declined the call and picked up a tray. “I’m glad it’s lunchtime. I don’t think I could stomach hospital eggs right now.”

I picked up a sandwich and added it to her tray as she picked up one for herself. I grabbed us Styrofoam cups and filled them with ice, and poured Diet Coke in one for her before getting myself a Dr. Pepper. Hopefully the soda would be enough of a caffeine kick for both of us because the coffee smelled burned, making Kin’s face scrunch up in disgust as she passed the carafes.

Before she was ready to check out, she grabbed a few desserts and two bags of chips for us. I paid for our quick meal, and she led the way to a table in the back. She was eating her sandwich before I even had time to sit down across from her.

“Harris ordered pizza last night, but Lu was so uncomfortable, we were more worried about trying to ease her pain than feeding ourselves.” She chewed quickly, swallowed, and then took another big bite before I could get my sandwich unwrapped. “I’m so glad this is over and that our goddaughter is here.”

I grinned, watching the excitement fill her tired eyes, brightening them even more. “Me too, babe.”

Her phone rang again. It was lying faceup on the table, and I immediately saw it was Derrick again. “Who the fuck is that?” I growled before I could stop myself, my jealousy churning in my stomach, making the sandwich taste like dust in my mouth.

She wiped her fingers, moving casually, like it was completely normal for her to get random calls from a guy I didn’t even know. Fuck, I wanted to smash her phone in. But first, I wanted to answer it and find out who the hell was calling my girlfriend.

“It’s Derrick,” she said as she declined the call again and picked up her sandwich once more. Like that should have been explanation enough.

It fucking wasn’t.

“And Derrick is?” I snarled.

“My soon-to-be stepuncle,” she answered calmly, as if I wasn’t about to rage out and destroy the entire goddam cafeteria.

Motherfucker.

The guy from the club the other night.

“What is he doing calling you, Kin?”

She lifted a shoulder. “He probably heard the news that Lucy was in labor and was calling to ask about her. Or he just wanted to talk. Or maybe he wants me to have dinner with him. I don’t know. I’m too tired to find out.”

“The fuck you say.” I grabbed her phone, punched in her passcode that I knew just as easily as I knew my own, and pulled up the guy’s details.

Before I could block him, Kin snatched the phone out of my hands. “Excuse you,” she bit out. “What are you doing?”

“Blocking that motherfucker.”

“I don’t want him blocked,” she told me with a glare, putting the phone into her back pocket and out of my reach. “He’s a nice guy.”

“How did he get your number?”

“I’m assuming from Scott,” she said with another casual shrug, eating her sandwich once more. “That is the only way I could think he got it.”

“How long have you two been talking?” I felt like I was going to puke, so I picked up my drink and started chugging it instead of sipping it through the straw.

“A few days.” She sighed when she looked up at my face. “Jace, it’s really none of your business.”

“I don’t want you talking to him, Kin. I saw the way you were fucking looking at him the other night.” I put down my cup and scrubbed my hands through my hair. “Let’s work this shit out between us. Come back to me. I miss you so damn much, baby. I know you miss me too. It’s written all over your beautiful face.”

Her sandwich landed on the tray with a thump, and she pushed it across the table toward me. “I do miss you,” she confessed in a quiet voice. “But you know what I don’t miss?” I held my breath, afraid of what she was about to say. “Waking up in the middle of the night to you texting some area code I didn’t recognize because you didn’t program her name into your phone. I don’t miss you lying to me when I ask who you’re talking to, or why you had a new lock code on your phone, or you getting a call and walking away from me. I don’t miss wondering what the fuck you’re doing because you’re late to pick me up, or for dinner, or you completely cancel plans. I don’t miss crying myself to sleep because I thought you were cheating on me. All of it was for Eden, I know that now. You didn’t cheat, but I sure as hell thought you were. And I don’t miss those times at all.”

“Baby, I’m sorry,” I groaned, reaching for her hand, and was surprised when she let me touch her. I lifted her fingers, kissing each one. “That’s over now. Eden and I barely even talk now that she’s busy with the baby and her husband.”

“I didn’t want you to stop talking to your sister, Jace. I just wanted you to include me.” The pain in her voice was sharp enough to cut through me. It melted through my flesh and bone, embedding itself in my soul.

“I didn’t stop talking to her because of you. I’ve been so fucked up from our breakup that I haven’t been coherent half the time. It was her choice to back away from me, and I can’t really blame her. I wouldn’t want my crazy ass around any little kids with how I’ve been lately.”

“Yeah, I get that. I was pretty messed up myself. Poor Amara had to deal with me all on her own.” Her lips twisted, and we shared a small smile.

I kissed her palm. “Take me back, Kin,” I whispered the plea, but she flinched as if I’d shouted it at her.

“I can’t.”

Tears burned my throat, filled my eyes. “Wh-Why not?” I choked out.

“Because nothing is resolved, Jace. You’re sorry? Yeah, I understand that. I even forgive most of it. You’re making promises not to do any of that stuff again, to include me? I don’t believe you.” She pulled her hand free from my slackened grip. “All I’ve ever wanted was to come first with you. And you’ve never done that. You never will. And I can’t go through the rest of my life being in the background, always second and third and sometimes even fourth in line for your love and loyalty.”

The tears broke free, and I sat there, staring at her as they poured down my face. “Kin, it’s not like that,” I half sobbed.

“It’s exactly like that,” she said, her voice so full of sadness, it broke my heart all over again. “You don’t even know how to put me first.”

“I was only trying to protect Kassa,” I tried to explain again, but she was shaking her head.

“And you pushed me right out.” She swallowed hard. “I know you love your sister. She loves you too. But don’t you understand that if it came down to protecting you and protecting Gray, she would pick him every time? Don’t you understand that I would never make you choose, but that you should want to put me first, regardless?”

“It’s just been her and me for most of my life,” I whispered. “Of course, I’m going to worry about her.”

She balled her hands into fists. “I’m not saying I don’t want you to protect your sister, Jace. Fuck. You don’t even understand what I’m trying to tell you.”

“Then dumb it down, goddamn it,” I exploded. “Tell me what I have to do to get you back.”

“If you don’t know by now, then there really is no hope for us.” She pushed back her chair. Standing, she looked down at me with regret and pain darkening her eyes. “I love you. I always have. Stupidly enough, I probably always will. But it’s time for me to move on, Jace. Because you can’t give me what I need.”