I finished my glass of chocolate milk, my hair was still air drying from the cold shower I had taken after that detailed, descriptive lesson. Talk about SEX 101 for female lovemaking.

I wasn’t even going to question how Marcus’ dragon spirit – Ryuu, knew all that information. It was nice to finally learn his name after already meeting him once before.

Ryuu was apparently Japanese for dragon spirit. When I looked into his eyes, I could see the wisdom he carried in those red-orange globes, the two-toned colour always reminded me of fire.

He answered every single sex question I had – as if he was a sex education professor. I was impressed by his vast knowledge, and he didn’t make the conversation feel awkward, even with him being a male. He encouraged me to take a shower seeing as Ryder would be back soon, and Marcus would probably fall asleep due to his lengthened stay.

I thanked him for his lesson, leaving Eli’s room, after I finished the book and placed it back in its slot on Eli’s hentai shelf. I made a mental note to find where book two was when she wasn’t in her room, wanting to know what happened in their relationship. Who knew Yuri manga could be so intriguing?

I turned around to face the empty kitchen and living room, the last of the sun’s rays disappeared along the horizon; the stars began to make their appearance in the purple-blue sky.

Daniel was still at Knightwood, mentioning that he wanted to get some training done and he’d be back in the earlier hours. Marcus decided to tag along and stated he’d “watch” from the sidelines. From the way his eyes drooped and having yawned five times before leaving, I really doubted he’d last three minutes before dozing off.

Kai and EliaseAnne were nowhere to be found; Eli broke at least seven glasses in her outburst. I think they were both hiding, not wanting to deal with Daniel’s lectured. I bet Elias had already given Eli her portion of annoyance; he hated when Eli broke a glass.

Ryder still hadn’t returned, leaving me alone. Midnight and the others were asleep, exhausted from today’s events. It was the first time I’d experienced true loneliness. It didn’t feel like the darkness I’d felt when I was in a coma, but I did notice the gripping sadness in my heart.

Funny how in such a short period of time, I’d learned to depend on having so many people around me, compared to the cycles I was left alone to defend and care for myself. I had to remind myself that there were going to be times where I’d be alone. I couldn’t always have the boys or Eli by my side.

I heard a click, followed by the door opening and closing. I turned to see Ryder – a very disturbed looking Ryder. I stood there blinking at him as he walked past, headed straight to the library. The door closed shut, silence followed.

I frowned. Well shit, he didn’t even notice me.

“Something must have happened,” Rose’s sleepy voice whispered as her presence faded away from my mind, returning to sleep. As tired as I was, I couldn’t sleep knowing Ryder was in that state.

I decided to wait an hour – wanting to give him some alone time before checking on him.

Ryder had been busy non-stop this past week, going from meeting to meeting with the headmaster, Matthew, and Karen or Winterlya. He still wanted to continue his meditation sessions while he dealt with family issues. He wouldn’t give me all the details, usually rushing out after sleeping in or quietly walking into his room when I was already asleep, but when he had a second or two to spare, he explained he was assisting his mom in preparation of Anya’s celebration of life ceremony.

They had never discovered Anya’s remains, all leads in finding the purple-eyed, demon shifter went cold after the five-cycle mark, the case had been dismissed. It was assumed she’d died in the facilities. There would be no way to find her remains even if they narrowed down which facility she had been taken too.

Once you met your fate at the facility, your body was burned, and ashes were thrown into the toilet – flushed away to wherever the stream of water led. There was no ceremony or moment of mourning. Shifter’s died every day and that was how life went on.

I noticed the change in him – the nightmares hadn’t stopped since my surprise party. They only worsened as the days went by.

I began to worry about him. He was only getting a maximum of five hours sleep; constantly waking up from the nightmares began to give him dark circles.

The others looked just as worried, but Kai informed me that it was his usual behavior when Anya’s death anniversary approached.

He had to keep himself busy or things didn’t go well. I was fine with that and tried my best to support him when I could and not ask questions. I just wanted him to take care of himself more and not go over his limit.

An hour went by rather quickly, faster than I expected before I walked to the library door, knocking lightly on the door before I entered. I peeked inside, my eyes immediately went to the corner chair in the room – Ryder sat in his usual chair, his face in his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees.

My heart sank at his troubled appearance, aching to comfort him. I closed the door quietly, before making my way to his sitting figure.

I could see the tension in his body; the light tremble was enough to tell me how bad the situation was. I knelt down before him. I didn’t want to touch him just yet, in fear he’d flinch due to the tiny possibility he didn’t hear my entrance.

“Ryder, baby?”

My voice was low; I hoped my soft-spoken tone was enough to get through to him. He didn’t budge at first – his body grew still for a moment before his head lifted, his glossy, Tyrian eyes met my gaze.

We stared at one another; the time ticked by as we sat in silence. I wouldn’t force him to talk to me, but I’d at least let him know I was right here, ready to support him.

He closed his eyes before lifting his arms out in an outstretched hug.

I leaned into him; my arms encircled his neck as I pressed my body against his in a hug, squeezing him tightly, as he pulled me into the chair; his head rested on my shoulder as his body continued to tremble.

My hand caressed his short, black hair, sticking with a consistent pattern to soothe him. I listened as he sobbed against me, his sniffs and exhales muffled against my shirt as he cried. I continued my hug, allowed him to shed every tear he’d been holding back. He finally calmed – the shivering came to a stop as he pulled back far enough to look at me, but still had his body pressed against mine.

“I’m sorry I – I shouldn’t be crying. It’s not noble of me.” He apologized, lowering his head in shame.

“Ryder, allowing me to hold and comfort you during a time you need support is the noblest thing I’ve witnessed. Anyone can gather enough courage to stride onto a battlefield, but it takes strength to allow your walls to fall and reveal that you are also an individual with a heart and admit that life is hard. You shouldn’t think badly of such,” I whispered. My hand cradled his face; my thumb wiped the tear that rolled down his cheek.

“But, I can’t show that side to anyone at the castle – not even to my own family. I can’t show weakness or discomfort. I can’t reveal how upsetting it is when my father continues his useless attempts at setting me up with someone I don’t even love, for his personal gain. I can’t tell my mother that after six cycles, I still have vivid nightmares about Anya, increasing in frequency days before her death anniversary. I even feel ashamed for breaking down in front of the others when you were in a coma. What leader cries and shows weakness? What leader breaks down over such pitiful reasons? My tears won’t bring Anya back. My sorrows won’t stop my father from trying to decide my future for me. The only thing that changed thanks to such heartbreak was the beautiful woman before me. Other than that, such weaknesses are nothing more but, a hindrance,” he confessed, and his eyes reflected how aggravated he was.

I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing his words to sink in before I opened them – my face grew serious and my eyes held power as I concentrated on his.

“Ryder Carter. The Stralight gods blessed us with life. With such blessings come emotions. They can be our strength and our weakness. They can lead us to victory, giving us, the courage and motivation needed to rid our opposing enemies, or it can lead us to our downfall, blinding us from realizing how underpowered one can be. We are meant to FEEL Ryder. This life won’t be filled with just happiness. You have to experience sadness, anger, fear, and lust. Even happiness and pride can bring you down or overshadow concerns that need consideration. Your sadness, your anger, even those bloody nightmares are a reminder that you are alive. It’s a reminder that after all the challenges and struggles, you lived to tell the tale. Would I wish for you to always experience such emotions? No. But, would I wish for the gods to steal such experiences from you? I certainly would not. The pain we deal with in life is what shapes us – the sadness and regret that clings to our beings are there so that when we experience happiness, it is all the sweeter because we know that sadness or regret. The anger that builds and bursts out in an act of rage teaches us, and the others around us, our limits and how to control it or walk away. No one should ever look down upon you for being what the gods created. Both humans and shifters alike have feelings and such emotions should never be deemed as useless. You are a wonderful leader, Ryder. You take on the burdens of your fellow knights, down to their feelings and struggles. I know you don’t understand why such a gift was given to you...but with time, you will understand its purpose. Don’t let your gift affect your own feelings. You have every right to break down and focus on your own troubles. Never consider it a hindrance, because it has shaped you into the leader that many look up to...including me.” I leaned forward, kissing him ever so lightly. I prayed my words would empower him – give him enough strength to move forward.

I wanted him to pick himself up and strive for what he wanted in life, even if such desires were harder to achieve.

I needed my confident Ryder back, but with a newfound purpose; a mission to mold himself into the man he wished to be – a knight who’d never allow such trivial shackles to hold him as he continued to lead his fellow men and land to salvation, his princess by his side.

Those tender lips pressed back; at first with hesitancy, but progressed into something deeper. We kissed as if time had stilled, the world stopped to give us an eternity to demonstrate our passionate love. It wasn’t till our lungs begged to breathe that we pulled apart, breathless as we pressed our foreheads against one another.

“Mako…I—” He hesitated, but his heavy exhales carried on. I waited patiently, focused on decreasing my own rapid breathing, while I attempted to ignore the throbbing need that spread through me. I wanted more than just kisses.

I wanted my hands to feel the warmth of his skin as I sucked and bit at his neck. I needed to feel more than those luscious lips on mine; I needed to feel them trail all along my body.

His tongue skilled enough to please me in more than one opening and I wanted it. I craved to feel him within me – to connect us together as we rode the waves of ecstasy I’d imagined we’d experience together. But, did he want the same?

He looked up at me, his hands moved to cradle my face. I watched the remnants of hesitation and fear fade away – replaced by a renewed confidence and determination.

“I want you, Makoto Heart. I’m done with just kissing you. I want more...no. I need more. You have no idea what you do to me. How your body excites me when you’re in my arms, or how hard I became when I saw you in that two-piece bikini. If only you could know how I craved so many times to pin you against the classroom desk and fuck you, or the need I experienced to plunge into you that day in the library with your body pressing against my groin. I have dreamed of hearing my name escape those seductive lips as I bring you over the edge into the land of bliss. I just need to know if I can Mako.”

From the hunger in his eyes, to the unbreakable confidence in his posture as we sat there in silence after such a ground-breaking declaration, I knew he meant every word. I bit my lip and attempted to ignore the pooled wetness between my legs as my body shivered in desire. I was tired of being hesitant. It was time to let my body take control and work for what it wanted.

I leaned forward, my lips only a centimeter away from his before the words left me without any reluctance.

“Fuck me, Ryder.”

I watched his pupils dilate, expanding quickly before constricting back to their normal size. I felt the hardness between his legs grow, as his breath caught in his throat.

“Makoto.”

The sound of my name as it left his lips was somewhere between a prayer and a curse. I never knew I could want something as badly as I had once wanted freedom, yet here I was, sitting in front of a man I loved.

He held me in his arms as he stood from the couch.

“Are you sure you want this? Once I start – I won’t be able to stop.”

There was no hesitation, no doubt in my soul. This was what I wanted.

“I’m sure.”

Those words were enough for a switch to flick on – his lips crashed against mine as we began to devour one another.

My hands tightened around his neck as my legs interlocked around his waist. His hands held me securely, gripping my ass while supporting me in place.

One minute, we stood in the middle of the library, kissing one another like our lives depended on it – the next, Ryder kicked the door to his room closed, the clicking notifying us that no one was getting in as he pressed me against the wall. No one was going to ruin this moment for us.

He allowed my legs to drop to the floor, his hands still possessively gripped my ass as I pressed against him – the bulge of his hard cock pressed against his black jeans. It was only a matter of time until I would taste him in my mouth as I wrapped my lips around his hardened cock. Only a few minutes until I would feel him slid in and out of me, bringing me to the edge of pleasure and then pushing me into the abyss.

I lifted my arms up as he removed my shirt; his eyes trailed my body before he pulled me into him, our tongues danced as we kissed.

I unbuttoned his pants before his hands wrapped around my wrists, stopping me.

I gazed at him, my body hummed with desire, but he gave me a seductive smirk; his tongue slowly licked his bottom lip as his gaze was locked onto me. I followed the movement of his tongue and imagined what it would feel like as it flicked across my clit.

He leaned down to kiss my neck, the kisses that followed trailed down my body.

I moaned, my overly hot, sensitive skin enjoyed every kiss followed by sucking and biting, which only added to my building desire.

His hands skimmed down the sides of my waist as he dropped to his knees, tugging the silk tie of my pants, causing the cashmere material to pool at my feet. He lifted my leg slightly, leaving kisses on the inner sides of my thighs, before doing the same on the other side as he threw the pants across the room.

He continued to tease me; his tender kisses making me tremble. My body wouldn’t last if he continued to tease me this way – I wanted more. I needed more.

“Ryder.” My shallow breathing and pleading voice caught his attention; his eyes stared up to face me.

“Yes, Princess,” he whispered. His voice seemed deeper somehow, the husky sound caressed me just as much as his lips were moments before.

“I want you, now.”

He chuckled, and the sensual sound sent a line of chills down my spine. He rose up, taking hold of my wrists as he lifted my arms above my head…pinning my body against the wall. His body pressed into mine, and I bit my lip as I felt my pussy clench.

“I know baby. But I’m going to take my time ravishing your body.” He whispered into my ear before he bit it gently.

I moaned.

His hand brushed against my panties; his finger pressed against lace fabric – the lining soaked from my arousal. A demonic smile spread across his face; his eyes hooded with hunger as he pressed harder. The fabric the only barrier between his fingers and my wet pussy.

“Ryder. Stop teas– ah.” I began to revolt before he pinched the bud of my clit through the lace, sending a spiral of desire through me. My back arched, pressing my body into his. Craving to be near him. Begging to be pleased by him.

He took advantage, his free hand left my pussy to unhook my strapless bra, flinging it across the room before he pressed himself against me. Pushing my back against the wall, before he pulled back. He let my hands go as his gaze explored my naked figure.

“Teasing you turns me on, Makoto,” he confessed, pulling his shirt off as he stepped back.

My eyes skimmed along his tanned skin, down his sculpted chest and abs before they landed on those alluring V-lines that lead to what awaited me behind the material of those jeans. I bit my lip, reminding myself that the prize within those pants was mine and I’d have it. I’ll claim that, too.

“Will you now?” he questioned before he pulled down his pants – his maroon boxers sliding down, too. He stepped out of them and kicked them to the side. I didn’t care, my eyes locked on his long cock. I approached slowly, reaching him in a few steps before my hand reached out to touch him – his body tensed at my touch as I caressed my hand lightly against it. His skin was soft and smooth.

I glanced up at him and watched his eyes widen with hunger and need. I’d have my fun teasing him, too.

“Mine?” I whispered. I needed to hear that he wanted what I could give him.

“Yes.” The word was breathy as it escaped his lips.

I took a glance at his cock in my hand before stroking him; his body shuddered as he moaned. I knelt before him as he had done to me and I watched his face as my tongue flicked across the tip. His hands found my hair as he pulled me closer.

I had never pleased a male before, but it didn’t matter, it was as if my body knew what to do without being told. I placed my lips around the head of his cock and smiled internally as his breath hitched. Slowly, I took him into my mouth. My eyes stayed locked on his face as I consumed him. I felt him harden even more as I pulled back. I moved at an agonizingly slow pace, paying him back for the teasing.

His hands massaged my hair as I took him into my mouth. I let my teeth slid down and felt his grip tightened in my hair.

“Mako...ugh...don’t.” He trailed off as his panting increased. I pulled away to grin at him.

“Teasing you turns me on, Ryder.” I threw his words back at him and watched as a smile formed on those seductive lips. My own heavy voice was new to my ears, sounding completely different from my usual voice. I decided to end his misery – the predatory look in those magnificent purple eyes ignited my desire to feel him within me.

I began to suck – his length slid in and out of my mouth as I gripped his base. I felt his body grew rigid as his moans became louder and panting became more rapid.

I used my free hand to push aside the lace panties and pleasure myself. My wetness clung to my fingers as my body grew hot with desperation. I sucked harder and faster – guiding him in and out of my mouth.

In seconds, his body locked as he groaned, cumming in my mouth as he climaxed. He tasted magnificent – the salty tasting cum spurt across my tongue before I swallowed every drop.

His desire filled eyes and heavy panting pleased me more than my own fingers rubbing against my clit.

“Did you like that?” I purred, feeling a sense of confidence, I’d never expected to experience.

“Yes, baby. Very much.”

He pulled me to my feet. He acted so fast, my mind didn’t have time to register how quickly he had me lying on top of his bed. I lifted my waist as he tugged at the lace panties, pulling them down my legs and over my feet.

“Spread your legs,” he commanded.

I obeyed, the anticipation of feeling his cock slip into me only heightened the yearning that flooded my system.

His fingers began to tease me once more, sliding against my soaked folds.

“Fuck, Ryder,” I moaned, my head falling back as his finger slid in. My hands grabbed at the comforter beneath me as he began to work my clit. His mouth latched onto my nipples – taking turns sucking on each of them.

He slid another finger in; the pressure increased as he quickened the movement. I couldn’t stop the cry that escaped my lips as I felt the pressure building inside of me. He moved down my body and when my eyes met his, there was a predatory smile that slid across his face.

He kept his fingers working inside of me as his tongue flicked across my clit. He latched on drawing the hardened nub into his mouth and I moaned. The pressure inside of me released and I came hard around his fingers. He quickly withdrew them from me and his tongue took their place.

He continued the back and forth rotation – his tongue and then his fingers – building up the tension causing me to climax yet again, leaving me wet and needing more.

“Ryder, please I need you,” I begged. My voice sounded wild and uncontrolled.

“Anything for my Princess.”

He rose, positioning himself in between my spread legs – the tip of his cock at the edge of my sex. He slid a finger between my folds, the clear liquid clung to his finger.

“You’re wet enough,” He commented before licking his finger.

The sensual gesture turned me on as I stared widely.

He noticed my reaction, smirking before he leaned forward, giving me a feverish kiss. I could taste myself on his lips and in his mouth. He pulled away; the tip of his dick rubbed against my folds.

“I’ll try my best to be gentle, but I don’t know if I can go as slow as I’d like, and it may hurt,” he confessed.

I could hear the hint of hesitation in his voice, the fear of hurting me made me smile against his lips. “Please stop stalling and fuck me,” I ordered.

His cock inched into me; my body grew tense as he hit resistance.

Ryder pressed his lips against mine, distracting me as he slowly pushed forward a prickle of pain following as his cock slid the rest of the way. He paused as if waiting for me to stop him. I grabbed onto his hips and pushed him back gently before pulling him forward – pushing him back into me.

My body didn’t linger on the pain for long, the tight fit made the tension build as he began to slide in and out, the slow pace exhilarating.

We were panting and sweating as our bodies moved in time with one another. My moans grew louder as I begged him to move faster. He pulled back and I watched as his eyes bore into mine and his body pounded into me.

“I’m– Ryder, I’m gonna cum,” I moaned.

I reached my limit, the tension became too much for me to hold any longer. I clawed at the bed sheets as he slammed into me.

“Cum with me.”

His command was enough for my body to shatter as we came together, his name ran across my lips. The powerful wave of pleasure ran through me and down my core as my pussy tightened around his hard cock – feeling the hot release of cum within me.

We collapsed against the maroon sheets; my body shivered as he pulled his length out; the remnants of cum poured out.

He pulled me into him; my body weak as the exhaustion settled in; my mind already drifting. I never knew what it meant to feel completely satisfied until this moment.

“Mako.” He whispered as his hand went through my hair.

“Hmm?” I was so tired, still trying to calm my body from the mini aftershocks that pulsed through me.

“Thank you for allowing me to be your first. I love you.”

I looked up at him, my eyes already heavy as sleep begged to take over. I smiled weakly at him.“Thank you for loving me. I’m glad I claimed you and I love you.” I lifted my head to give him a final kiss; my head rested on his chest. I heard the flick of a switch, darkness descending around the room.

With Ryder’s fingers playing with my hair and his slowing heartbeat, I fell asleep.