Jamie

 

There were orgasms and then there was whatever the hell that just was. I felt like he’d just scrambled my insides, whipped them up into a nice frothy goodness, and then melted it all like a cup of real, honest-to-God, smoldering hot chocolate.

 

His head was leaning against me still, his face buried in between my breasts, his hands still gripping my thighs. He was softening inside of me, slowly slipping from my sopping wet folds. I felt like…like I had been put through the ringer, then left to deal with some sort of boneless aftermath.

 

Because I did feel boneless. I was still leaning heavily against the wall, and I was pretty sure that if he hadn’t been acting as a sort of counterweight, I would have slumped off the counter onto the floor by now.

 

That was good sex, the kind that most women only dreamed about. Hell, it was the kind I only dreamed about. Pure lustiness.

 

Except now that I was this close to him, both of our bodies still naked and coated with a fine sheen of slowly cooling sweat, I was starting to think. A dangerous thing, given what we’d just done and all that had happened leading up to this point.

 

What were you thinking? A small, annoying voice in the back of my head whispered angrily.

 

My arms moved of their own accord. My limbs trembled with the effort, but it was worth it. Finding his hair, my hands smoothed through his thick strands. They were dampened from his earlier efforts, but they were still soft and silky. He groaned slightly into my breasts, his breath hot against them. My body jumped again in reaction to him, and if I hadn’t just been thoroughly and properly fucked, I might have been interested in round two.

 

But I was still boneless, and right now, all I wanted was this—whatever this was.

 

We spent several more minutes wrapped up in each other before Pax finally let out a long breath. “We should get cleaned up,” he murmured, his voice low but soft. It was different than anything I’d heard yet, not quite sweet but close. Probably as close as a man like him ever got.

 

I nodded my head, but of course, he couldn’t see that. He was still leaning against me, and I still had my hands in his hair. He’d yet to look up. “We should,” I confirmed, my voice quiet.

 

Still, we lingered against each other’s bodies. When Pax finally pulled away, I felt chilled and bereft. I wanted him back, and that desire scared me a little. Did I honestly think this was going to be something? Was a man like Pax capable of having anything real, anything concrete with a woman? I wasn’t sure, but the idea that he might be willing to make an exception for me sent an emotional thrill through my body.

 

“C’mon,” he murmured, putting his hands on my waist. He lifted me off the counter, helping to ease me down.

 

Turning to the large shower, he turned on the faucet and fussed with the temperature for a minute. I took the opportunity to let my gaze sweep lazily over his body. His back was broad and muscled, just like the rest of his incredibly fit body. His frame tapered down to his waist before forming his butt. And it was a nice butt, firm with the lines in the sides that bespoke of very little fat on him.

 

It was impossible to not be impressed by that.

 

His muscular legs were long and thick. I pictured them holding the both of us up and admitted to myself that the idea sent another trickle of desire through me. I didn’t know why this man pulled me to him so strongly, but now that I’d given in to the physical desire, I wasn’t quite sure how to start resisting again.

 

Especially since I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

 

Pax straightened up, satisfied with the water temperature. Turning to me, he offered me his hand, palm up. It was calloused and rough but large. The fingers were thick and long, and I remembered how they felt buried within me, how I’d licked my own taste off of them.

 

Blushing at the memory, I accepted his hand by placing my own in it. He helped me into the shower, then followed me in. Standing beneath the spray, I let a shiver race through my body, the water already beginning to soothe my muscles.

 

“Too hot?” he murmured quietly.

 

I shook my head, then stepped beneath the spray to get my hair wet. Closing my eyes against the cascading water, I smiled a little and said, “Perfect.”

 

I moved out from directly under the spray enough that I could open my eyes without getting water in them. In front of me, Pax was pouring a small ammount of liquid soap onto the palm of his hand. Then he grabbed a washcloth and began rubbing the soap into it until it lathered a little. Stepping forward, he met my eyes, questioning me with an arch of his eyebrow.

 

Smiling a little, I nodded.

 

Pax closed the distance between us and placed the washcloth against my body. He began to wash me. He started just below my jaw, sliding the cloth against my skin, soaping me up. He was quiet as he worked, moving along my neck, then to my collarbone. Slow and methodical, he moved over my shoulders and down my arms. He was careful, mindful of the tiny cuts I’d received from the car accident.

 

Had that even been the same night? If it had been even an hour ago, I’d be surprised.

 

When he reached my hands, he paused. They still looked pretty bad. They were torn up from the broken glass of my windshield. I’d crawled out through the opening, but though I’d tried to clear away as much of the glass as possible, I’d still managed to step in it. My knees were a little rough, too.

 

Pax carefully washed my hands. The soap stung a little but nowhere near as bad as the alcohol. I patiently let him wash away the blood, holding still despite the slight stinging. He gave both hands equal treatment, and when they were done, he moved on. The cloth slipped over my breasts, one at a time. He paid them special attention, which led me to believe he probably wasn’t doing this solely to wash away the remains of salty sweat and sex.

 

A thrill ran through me again, but I didn’t act on it. I left my arms at my side and gave him free rein of my body.

 

When he was finished soaping up my breasts, he moved lower. His cloth dipped along my ribcage and my navel. His thumb trailed along the middle of my torso before briefly swirling along my belly button.

 

His ministrations continued, and when he got between my legs, he washed me carefully but not clinically. He washed me, sure, but he touched me, too. His fingers played along the edges of my lips and even dipped between them. I was almost embarrassed by how wet I was, but if he thought it was unusual, he didn’t say anything.

 

Pax remained completely silent.

 

He washed my thighs and reached around to wash my rear, too. All the while, his fingers continued to play with me. He probed my entrance, even letting one finger slip inside me. I let out a sound that was caught between a groan and a sigh. I was already going to be sore—my nether lips were slightly swollen from what we’d just done—but I couldn’t deny that my body responded positively to his touch all over again.

 

It seemed like he spent forever, attentive to my body’s every need. He washed me thoroughly and carefully and cleaned the nicks and cuts along my arms and legs. It was only when he was done that I held out my hand.

 

He looked at it questioningly.

 

“Soap,” I told him simply.

 

He hesitated for a long moment as though debating the wisdom of affording me the same liberty he’d just had—of washing his body. But then he offered me the washcloth and a generous ammount of soap.

 

I rubbed the soap into the cloth until it lathered, then turned my attentions to him. My hands ran over his hard, muscled body, feeling his bulging biceps and his broad shoulders. I washed his hard pecs and let my hands drag over the hard lines of his abs, one at a time. I felt his body tense beneath me and couldn’t help but notice that his member was growing again. He was only half hard, but I could tell it wouldn’t take much to push him the rest of the way.

 

Putting some soap into the palm of my hand, I put the washcloth to the side entirely and caressed his length with my bare hand. He groaned softly, like he was trying to keep the sound in, as I touched him. I washed his length, which grew quickly in my hands and then dipped my hands lower to grip his balls. I washed them, too.

 

Pax tensed, putting a hand against the tiled wall for balance, leaning towards me slightly as I continued to stroke him.

 

As I cleaned him meticulously, I admitted to myself that this might be a bad idea. My last relationship didn’t go so well, and it definitely didn’t end so well. What was worse, I was pretty sure that whatever this intense attraction was between us, we probably weren’t looking at a relationship. We were looking at hard, fast fucking. A great lay. But decidedly a one-night stand.

 

But even as these thoughts swirled in my head, I couldn’t help but touch Pax. I couldn’t help sliding my hand up his long, hard shaft and swirling my hand around the tip before plunging back down.

 

His hips jerked towards my hand involuntarily, and I thought I heard him gasp.

 

I continued to fondle him, but it wasn’t until he reached for me and dragged me against his body that things migrated from gentle touching to more. His mouth found mine and he kissed me like there was no tomorrow, like this was it for him, this moment between us. It was a wonderful kiss—but a deceiving one. Because there would be a tomorrow, it just wouldn’t have any kisses or any glorious sex. It would have him telling me to fuck off.

 

That thought was almost enough for me to put a halt on what was happening. Almost. But then I opened my mouth, and his tongue slipped inside, tasting me. I was lost.

 

In for a penny, in for a pound, I thought. Might as well get what I can from this.

 

Intensity bloomed between us as his hand went between my legs once more, caressing my folds. I felt two fingers slip inside me this time, and I moaned into his hot kiss. One hand tangled in my hair, the other went to my hips and jerked me tightly against him. His erection was trapped between us, and I groaned. I wanted him all over again.

 

He pretty clearly wanted me, too.

 

He spread my legs slightly, then moved me so that my back was against the wall. One hand went to my thigh and opened me up, but the other lingered in my hair, gripping it and tugging on it.

 

His hips lined up with mine, and with one quick motion, he was sheathed inside me, buried so deep that I felt him take up every slip of space available. I moaned and he groaned, our sounds drowned out by the running water.

 

He began to pump into me quickly, urgently, like we hadn’t both come just minutes earlier. The passion between us grew quickly and spread like wildfire until we were both burning up in it. Our slick bodies slid against one another as he jerked his hips into me over and over again, his hard length filling my hot core each time.

 

I gasped as I felt my orgasm build again.

 

Managing to get one hand between our bodies, I pressed my fingers into the little bundle of nerves just above my opening. I started to tease it as Pax’s breathing grew ragged. I knew he wouldn’t last long, so I moved myself along, this wild need to come together—or nearly together—burrowing itself inside my chest.

 

Each flick of my nub matched each thrust of his hips. I felt the heat and the pressure build, and it only took a moment before I was sent spiraling into oblivion, crying out weakly against him. He was right there with me, and for the second time, he spilled himself inside me.

 

After that, we washed again quickly and got out. I wrapped a towel around my body as he dried off quickly and quietly. He grabbed the door, then paused, glancing at me. I wasn’t sure of the look in his eyes but I thought at the very least it was affection.

 

“C’mon,” he murmured. “We have some things to talk about.”

 

# # #

 

He led me to my room and after I’d stepped inside, closed the door behind me. Turning to face me, he considered me for a moment. His eyes trailed over my body, and I was aware that I was clad only in a towel. My body was exhausted enough that the flutter it gave me was muted, and I didn’t think I was in any danger of falling prey to his wonderful body once more.

 

“What?” I asked when he didn’t say anything.

 

“Are you on the pill?”

 

My eyebrows shot up at the question. Did he just ask… “What?” As soon as the question was out of my mouth, I felt like a moron. Of course he wanted to know whether or not I was on the pill. He’d just come in me—twice. And we hadn’t used a condom.

 

Jesus, and I’m a damn nurse!

 

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. If someone else had done what I’d just done, I’d chew their ass for being so irresponsible. And with a partner that probably wasn’t monogammous and one they didn’t know that well.

 

Well, that just gave me some serious points in the department of idiocy.

 

“It’s not a fucking difficult question,” he told me gruffly, and gosh, I was just so happy to see that he was back to his rude self.

 

Asshole.

 

Clearing my throat, I gripped the towel around my body a little tighter. “Yes.”

 

He nodded once. “Good.”

 

I don’t know why that answer annoyed me so much, other than the fact that it came from him and just about every answer that came out of his mouth annoyed me. Narrowing my eyes at him, I asked, “What about you?”

 

He raised a single brow. “No, I’m not on the pill.”

 

The redness on my cheeks darkened as my blush intensified. “I meant, are you clean?”

 

“Not what you asked.”

 

Making a frustrated sound in my throat, I said, “Fine. Are you clean?”

 

He nodded, and I felt a little of the worry that had been filling my chest dissipate. “Yes. I get tested regularly. Can never be too sure with the kind of kinky women I like.”

 

His eyes bored into me, and for a second, I thought he was daydreaming about dirty acts, like what kind of kinky things could he get me to do? But I shoved that aside, hoping that wasn’t what he wanted to talk to me about. And that he was too damn tired to try for round three. I knew I sure as hell was.

 

“Is this what you wanted to talk to me about? Whether or not I’m on the damn pill?”

 

He shook his head. “No. It’s not.”

 

When he paused long enough that I didn’t think he’d offer up any more information, I asked, “Well?”

 

“Those men today. I think there’s a very good chance that they won’t be the only ones to…notice you.”

 

My brow furrowed, and I frowned a little at him. “What are you talking about? Those guys were crazy. It was all just some freak accident and…” I broke off because I didn’t think it was an accident. Not at all. Those guys ran me off the road deliberately, and if Pax hadn’t come to my rescue, I probably would still be in that ditch with my car.

 

“I’m saying that things are complicated, and you’re all wrapped up in the middle of it.” He frowned and ran a hand through his still damp hair.

 

We were both still wearing only towels and despite what we just did, it suddenly felt too intimate. I eyed the clothing still strewn over the bed. The urge to get dressed was strong. “What things? What’s really going on?” I asked.

 

He hesitated, not looking thrilled about explaining. “I assume you’ve figured out that I, and my men, are part of a motorcycle club?”

 

I schooled my face into a practiced blank stare. Honestly, no, I hadn’t realized that. Of course, I should have. A bunch of guys who liked to ride motorcycles hanging out and doing probably stupid, dangerous, possibly illegal things. Yeah, that sounded like a motorcycle gang. I mean, club. But I’d been so distracted by Kato’s injuries—and yes, Pax’s sexiness—that I hadn’t really put two and two together. Besides, I thought they were all supposed to be wearing leather, yet I’d barely seen a scrap of leather beyond Pax’s boots.

 

And what a damn shame because Pax would look fine in some leather pants…

 

Trying to keep my mind on track, I asked, “And what does that have to do with anything? Were those guys out there yours?”

 

His glare was as fierce as his answer. “Fuck no. Those pieces of shit belong to that poor asshole Huxton. He’s too stupid to have anyone but weak, half-assed lackeys.”

 

The anger in his tone was clear enough to tell me that I’d offended him with my question. “Well, how the hell am I supposed to know that? Do I look like I spend a lot of time around motorcycle gangs?”

 

His eyes narrow. “Club. We’re a motorcycle club. Officially, paperwork and all.”

 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes because it was like calling a janitor a custodian. In the end, they both cleaned up other people’s trash. A rose by any other name and all that jazz. But I ignored that little blip and continued on. “Fine, whatever. Who’s this Huxton guy?”

 

Folding his arms across his bare chest, he answered in a smooth, dark voice. “Leader of the Chaos Disciples. They’re sort of our rivals, muscling in on our territory, causing problems. Those were Chaos Disciples out there tonight going after you.”

 

A shudder ripped through me at the thought of those men standing up top, looking down at me, waiting. I could have died in that car crash. And the sense that I could have died after it, too, wasn’t lost on me.

 

“Why?” I managed to ask, my voice mostly calm.

 

Pax let out a long breath. “Because of me. Because of your involvement with the Hellriders.” At my blank stare, he clarified, “Us. We’re the damn Hellriders. Keep up, would you?”

 

My eyes narrowed at him. I might have picked a fight—how the hell was I supposed to know that the name of his “company,” assuming he actually had one, was the same as his damn little club? But I didn’t. Choosing to stay on topic, because I wanted answers, I asked instead, “But I’m not involved with the Hellriders.”

 

He gave me a look.

 

“What?” I demanded. “I’m not!”

 

“Technically, you’ve been working for me all week.” He pointed this out casually, but I could see the line of tension in his shoulders.

 

It wasn’t until that statement sunk in that I realized why he was tense. “Wait. Did you know about this? Did you know that—that someone was going to try and kill me for working for you?”

 

Anger began to boil low in my belly, sending up hot steam to my chest cavity. The sudden urge to deck him was so intense that I almost crossed the scant floor space separating us to do just that. Somehow, I resisted. Mostly, because I wanted him to explain himself. And I wanted a good damn reason for why I shouldn’t be furious with him.

 

A flash of guilt flickered across his features, then it was gone. The asshole was back as he answered, “Do I look like a damn moron? Why the fuck do you think I insisted you stay inside? If you weren’t such a pain in my ass, you wouldn’t have even been attacked.”

 

“You’re saying this is my fault?” I demanded incredulously.

 

This was not exactly the explanation I’d been waiting for.

 

He shrugged his shoulders casually, and I definitely didn’t notice that the towel wrapped around his torso sagged a little, threatening to drop entirely. Nope, not at all. “I would have gotten you out without anyone seeing you. Instead, you’ve got to go and cause fucking problems. Now the Disciples know who you are.”

 

The retort that had been forming on my tongue was suddenly gone. Now the Disciples know who you are. All the fight drained out of me as I realized just what that meant. They could come after me again. Even if I left here and never looked back, they could come after me. Maybe they’d find my apartment or my work. Would they shoot it up like a gang might? Or would they be more discreet and just come for me?

 

A shudder of fear worked its way across my shoulders and then down my spine.

 

“Why? What do they want with me?” I hated how small my voice was all of a sudden.

 

If I was expecting sympathy on Pax’s face, I would have been sorely disappointed. He seemed unaffected by my predicament. He shrugged his shoulders. “I told you, it has to do with your proximity to the Hellriders.” He looked like he wanted to add something but didn’t.

 

That was a shitty answer. “But…but I haven’t done anything!”

 

“Doesn’t matter. You saved Kato; you’ve worked for me. That’s enough. And before you ask, no, they won’t stop. You’re an easy target.”

 

Easy target. Oh, God, I was an easy target. My stomach roiled, and I felt sick. Really sick. Like, I might puke up the lingering contents in my stomach onto the floor of the room any second now. How was this happening? I had to take in slow, deep breaths to try to keep from hyperventilating…and puking. For several minutes, that was all I did. I didn’t curl up into the fetal position or put my head between my knees, but I definitely wanted to.

 

After a long, drawn-out moment, I was able to speak again. “What do I do?”

 

“You do as I fucking tell you this time,” came Pax’s quick reply. It was firm, and I wanted to balk at it, but I was scared enough that I remained silent. For now. “We sneak you out and you go into hiding until either the Disciples are taken care of or I get you out of the city. If you’re out of their territory, they likely won’t follow you.”

 

A frantic laugh bubbled up in my chest. “Likely won’t follow me? Is that supposed to be comforting?”

 

He pursed his full lips together and didn’t answer.

 

I shook my head. “I don’t want to leave. This is home. I have an apartment, a job…” I stopped there because I really didn’t have anything else in my life. Except maybe the sexy man standing in front of me. Do I even contemplate making this serious? Would he even bother trying something like that with me?

 

He waved off my answer. “Don’t be stupid. Your job doesn’t pay for shit anyway, and your apartment is tiny. I can get you a job somewhere else. Anywhere else.”

 

I wanted to ask him how in the hell he intended to do that but resisted. Instead, I chewed on my nails, a nasty habit I’d mostly kicked except for moments when my life was suddenly at risk. Because that happened a lot.

 

“But I—”

 

Pax made a frustrated sound. “Are you fucking dense? I tell you that you need to go on the run and you fucking argue with me? What the hell is your problem?”

 

“My problem is that none of this should be happening! I’m a good girl. I don’t do crazy, reckless things!” Except for sleep with sexy motorcycle riding assholes without thought of a condom or STDs or anything else. Good job, Nurse Jamie. Way to promote safe sexy times.

 

He ran a hand through his hair again. “Well, it fucking is happening. Get over it.” He paused, then softened fractionally. Maybe it was the panicked look in my eyes that did it or the hint that tears were on the horizon. Either way, his voice went slightly softer as he said, “Look, we’ll try hiding you out. Maybe you won’t have to leave. But you need to keep your head down. And you’re not going back to your apartment.”

 

I opened my mouth to tell him he was a controlling pig of a man, but instead, something else tumbled out. “Are you coming with me?”

 

His eyebrows rose in surprise at my question. I couldn’t blame him. I was surprised by it, too. “No. I have to take care of the Disciples before they cause any more problems than they already have.”

 

I bit my lower lip, worrying at it with my teeth. “But…” I tried to figure out what I was getting at, then blurted, “I want you to come with me.”

 

“Why?”

 

I glanced at his towel as I clutched mine tighter. I began to tremble and it wasn’t because I was cold. Instead, I was nervous. Because I could feel it bubbling up, the stupid thing I was about to say. But I couldn’t stop it. “Because we just…” My eyes flickered to the door, visualizing the bathroom on the other side of it. “What was that in there? I mean, was that just a…a fling?”

 

I don’t know what possessed me to ask. Of course that had been a fling. An incredible, mind blowing fling that left my knees weak and my body sore, but it was only about the sex. Even though my heart was pounding nervously in my chest and I felt like my eyes were the size of saucers as I stared at him, waiting for his answer.

 

He was silent for a long, long time. I thought he just wouldn’t answer, but then he spoke. His voice was low and husky. “That depends on you, baby.”

 

My heart stuttered. “What do you mean?” I croaked.

 

He took a step towards me. “I mean, what do you fucking want? You want this to be some fling? Fine, it’s a fling.”

 

Those words stung, which was stupid. Stupid because it confirmed what I already knew—this was just a fling—but also because it meant that I really didn’t want it to be. My voice shook as I forced it out. “What if I don’t want it to be just a fling?”

 

The question seemed to just hang in the air there for a long time before Pax cursed.

 

“Fuck, baby, I don’t know. Do I look like the long-term relationship kind of guy? Do I strike you as the cuddling, sweet, get to know you and everyone lives happily ever after guy? Because I’m not. And if that’s what you’re looking for—”

 

“I’m not,” I said, surprising us both. When he raised his eyebrows at me in question, I tried to answer him. Tried to explain. But I wasn’t quite sure myself, so I was feeling my way through the answer. “It’s not that I don’t want a long-term thing. I do. I want long-term and monogammous and everything, but…” I paused as I struggled through the foul taste of the next words as they slipped off my tongue. “But I’ve had the sweet, cuddling guy before. I’ve had the settle down and marry you type, the one who whispers sweet nothings in your ear and promises you that you’re his everything. And you know what? He turned out to be the biggest dick I’d ever met. What a fucking asshole.”

 

Pax stared at me, a little startled by my words and the vehemence I said them with.

 

Sucking in a harsh breath, I continued. “His name was Devin, and he thought that being sweet to me meant he could do whatever he wanted on the side. Even though he was my fucking fiancé. But no one gets to sleep around with Miss Fake Tits just because he buys me flowers afterwards. So if my options are getting an asshole up front or ending up with an asshole in nice guy attire, then I’ll take the asshole up front. I’d rather know what I’m getting into.”

 

His eyes watched me, intensity swirling in their dark depths. Silence filled the space between us, and it was a long time before he spoke again. “I can’t promise you anything,” he said finally, his voice gruff. “But I can promise you that if I ever catch you with another man, I’ll kill you both.”

 

I shivered at the promise of violence in his voice, a little weirded out at how turned on I was by his possessiveness. “I can live with that.”

 

“Fine. Great. Whatever. But if the Chaos Disciples catch you, this whole fucking conversation is a moot point.”

 

Wrapping my arms around myself, I nodded. “Okay. So what do we do?”

 

“Like I said, you do as I say this time. And I say you go into hiding.”

 

I really didn’t like the sound of that. Gripping my arms, holding them tightly to my body, I tried to accept that he was right about this. Except it just didn’t feel right. It felt like the safest place to be was with him, and he didn’t intend on coming with me. “Why don’t we both go into hiding?” I tried to suggest because I didn’t think I had much chance of arguing my way out of his Jamie Goes into Hiding plan.

 

He shook his head. “I need to be here. Like I said, I need to stop the Disciples. Can’t do that if I’m busying hiding away somewhere, worrying about you.”

 

Despite the conversation, I felt a flutter in my chest. He’d be worrying about me. “I…I want to stay with you.” I couldn’t believe I just said that, but I did. And I meant it, too.

 

His dark eyes fixed on me and intense emotion flashed in them, but his tone was cool and stern when he spoke again. “Your safety is the important thing right now. Staying with me isn’t safe.” He hesitated, looking torn about something. Finally, he added, “And it might never be.”

 

Shaking my head, I closed the space between us and put my palms flat against his bare chest. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation in nothing but towels. “I don’t care. I want…I want to try this with you. We’re already trying this. I’d rather be with you than apart. I don’t care about the risk.”

 

Rolling his eyes, he pushed me back. I was hurt as he said, “Yeah, sure. Everyone’s all ‘I don’t care’ until they’re actually facing down a gun. Until their life I really on the line. Then they head for the hills. Well, I’m skipping a step. You’re heading for the hills now.”

 

I felt like yelling at him for being a big, macho bully but couldn’t quite get it out. Some part of me felt that he might be right. Sure, danger in theory wasn’t so scary, but after that car accident, I was pretty shaken up. The urge to be with Pax was at an all-time high now thanks to the mind blowing sex we’d just had—twice. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t afraid of the repercussions. I could honestly be killed.

 

Was any man worth that risk?

 

I didn’t know, and it was too damn early in this relationship or whatever the hell it was to try to really figure it out. I didn’t know him well enough for that, and I didn’t know what my own wounded heart wanted at this point.

 

“I think this is a bad idea,” I finally said, returning to the idea of hiding me away somewhere. “I don’t want to go.”

 

“It’s not about what you want, baby,” he told me in a grim tone. “It’s about keeping you alive. We’ll figure out the rest later.”

 

Reluctantly, I nodded my head.

 

“Good. Now get dressed. You’re leaving in half an hour.”

 

He turned away then and left, closing the door again behind him. For a long time, I stared at that closed door wondering what the hell was going on. With him. With me. With these damn Chaos Disciples or whatever. This was all so crazy. I wasn’t supposed to be here, dealing with this stuff. I was a nurse. I lived a boring, normal life with student loans and a stupid, tiny apartment.

 

Yet here I was, and try as I might, I’d yet to wake up. And now that Pax seemed okay to try this as more than just fuck ‘em and leave ‘em, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to wake up.

 

Could this all, by some crazy miracle, work out?

 

It was way too early to tell, but I hoped.

 

I got dressed and then headed downstairs. Kato was up, too, looking pale and drained but alive. He glared at me as soon as I reached the landing, but I had no idea why. It wasn’t how I expected someone to react to the person who had saved their life.

 

Pax came down a moment later, hanging up his cell phone. I didn’t know who he’d been talking to and didn’t bother asking. Probably I would get another “none of your business” line, despite that it was now clearly my business. At least in part.

 

He reached the bottom of the stairs, then glanced between me and Kato. He didn’t look happy. He hesitated a second, then said, “Kato is going with you. He’s still pretty fucked up, and he’s not going to do me much good other than to give me one more thing to worry about.” Pax’s tone sounded as if he wasn’t thrilled by his words. He shot Kato a hard look.

 

I didn’t know what exactly was going on, but I knew I didn’t like it.

 

Before I got the chance to ask any probing questions, Pax motioned with his head towards the door. “Get in the car. Alex is already there. We’ll be out in a minute.” Pax’s eyes were locked with Kato’s, and I, once again, got the sense that there was something else going on. Something that wasn’t good.

 

I hesitated and considered lingering in the living room with them to see what was going on. But in the end, I turned to head out the door. They weren’t going to say anything with me standing there, and I was still shaken up enough—by my near-death experience and the strange relationship that was building between Pax and me—that I wasn’t going to push it.

 

Turning away, I headed to the door. When I saw the car parked out front and running, I gave only once last glance towards the two men in the living room. Then, I closed the door behind me. I glanced all around us, paranoid that more men were going to come out and jump me at any moment, but the place was quiet. Empty. Not a soul in sight other than the kid in the front seat of that car.

 

They aren’t here. Everything’s going to be fine.

 

I tried to convince myself, but even as I thought the words as firmly in my head as I could, I didn’t believe them. Gripping myself tightly, I hurried down the stairs to the car. I jerked open the back door and slid in behind the passenger’s seat. When I closed it behind me, Alex turned to look at me over his shoulder.

 

“You good?” he asked.

 

Um, no. I wasn’t. Not even a little bit was I good. More like stressed out, panicked, and also sore from both the car accident and some very delicious things going on with Pax. But all I said to Alex was, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

 

He nodded, then turned back around. We waited for Kato and Pax. When I decided I didn’t like the silence, I asked, “Where are we going?”

 

Alex looked at me in the rearview mirror, hesitating a long moment. “Um, well, just somewhere safe.”

 

I raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re not supposed to tell me? Won’t I figure it out when we drive there?”

 

His expression went blank for a moment, then he grinned at me sheepishly. He really was just a kid. Maybe still in high school, even. The thought made me frown, and I wondered what a nice boy like him was doing wrapped up in all this craziness. Was he even eighteen? I thought about asking him, but he answered me first, and then I lost my nerve.

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. We’re going up to the mountains. It’s not that bad of a drive from here, maybe an hour or so. The boss has a cabin up there.”

 

The boss. I still thought that was just so weird. I guessed it was the whole motorcycle club thing, but I just didn’t know enough about all of that to be sure. And really, was Pax the boss? Did he run the whole club? Or were the Hellriders a big club and this was only a chapter or something like that?

 

Maybe I would ask Alex. Or Pax, if our relationship really did turn serious.

 

It’s a pipedream to even hope it will, I thought, slightly dejected and then added, and should I even be hoping? He’s still an ass…

 

But an ass that was trying to save my life. That earned him brownie points, right?

 

Lost in my musings, I missed that Alex was still talking. I felt a little guilty for tuning him out, but I was wrapped up in other things.

 

“—fixed it up and now we used it as a safe-house.” Alex was explaining the cabin, it seemed. “I mean, this place is great and all, but it’s not really a secure location, you know? Everyone and their dog knows about it. Not regular people like you but club members and sometimes some people we work with on occasion. But the cabin’s less known. Only a few people are privy to that information.”

 

He puffed up his chest a little, clearly pleased that he was one of those people.

 

He really is just a kid, isn’t he? I thought with a frown. I opened my mouth to ask him how old he actually was, but then the front door opened and Kato slipped into the front passenger seat. He didn’t look happy. If anything, he kind of looked like he was sulking.

 

I glanced at Alex, silently asking him what was up, but he didn’t seem to know, either.

 

“You alright, man?” he asked Kato.

 

Kato only laid his head back and closed his eyes. “Yeah. Just tired, so keep the fucking noise down.”

 

Alex shrugged his shoulders and turned to face forward. I was leaning forward, about to ask where Pax was—surely we weren’t leaving without him saying goodbye at least—but before I got the chance, my side door opened.

 

“Move,” Pax commanded.

 

I did as he said, sliding over as his large, well-muscled body slid into the seat beside me. I looked at him in surprise. I’d hoped for a goodbye, but I thought he wasn’t coming with us. I thought he had to stay. Nervous flutters erupted in my stomach as I thought maybe he would come with us and stay. Maybe we could be safe together—and continue to explore at least the physical aspect of what was growing between us. I knew that was one level we connected on. His eyes were locked on me as he spoke to Alex. “Let’s get moving. I want to be there before it gets late.”

 

Alex didn’t have to be told twice. He revved the car and took off.

 

# # #

 

The drive there was…long. Longer than an hour, at least it felt that way. It could have been the grumpy guy in the front seat, the nervous driver, or the sexual beast sitting next to me; ]it was hard to say.

 

All I knew was that Pax kept his eyes locked on me and one hand firmly gripping my upper thigh the whole way. I wasn’t sure if this was some sort of possessive macho show or if he just wanted to be close—I doubted the latter—but I couldn’t make myself push him off. Modern woman or not, I liked the feel of his hand on me.

 

Too bad I’m wearing jeans, I thought and flushed. Jesus, when did I get so horny?

 

Probably after the last guy sent me through the dry spell to end all dry spells. That asshole.

 

When we finally arrived, I got out to see a quaint little cabin. Not exactly the sort of place that I expected a motorcycle club to hole up in, but then, I supposed that was the point. Alex hurried inside first, taking about five minutes doing whatever inside before running back out. He stopped in front of Pax.

 

“Place is clear, boss,” he said.

 

Ah, he’d been checking to see if there was anyone in the cabin.

 

Pax nodded at him once. “Good. If there’s anything you need, get it now. You’re on lockdown after today.”

 

“Right.”

 

Alex hurried back inside, probably to see how stocked it was or if there were enough porno mags stuffed under the bed, teenage boy and all that.

 

Kato had gotten out and he was now lazily—or maybe just unsteadily?—heading towards the cabin. Pax’s cool voice stopped him briefly. “Remember what I said.”

 

For a moment, Kato looked miffed. Then he let out a long, low breath. Straightening, he told Pax, “I got it. You’re the boss. I’ll follow your lead.” His eyes slid to me. “No matter what.” Turning away, he covered the rest of the distance to the cabin and disappeared inside.

 

Frowning, I looked to Pax. “What was that all about?”

 

He shook his head. “Never mind that. Think you can stay out of trouble for a couple of damn days?”

 

My eyes narrowed at him, and I felt a familiar flare of anger. “I’ve managed to stay out of trouble for twenty-five years before you came along. I think I can manage it for a day or two.”

 

He smirked at me, but it faded quickly. His face turned serious. Stepping closer, he grabbed me by the upper arms, dragging me against his body. “These guys…they mean business. If they get ahold of you…” He trailed off, letting the unspoken promise of the terrible things they’d do to me hang in the air.

 

A shudder ran through me. “But you’ll stop them, right?” I didn’t like how weak I sounded or how much I was depending on him to take care of things, but I couldn’t help it given the circumstances. I needed him to handle this world I wasn’t familiar with.

 

He didn’t answer for a long time. When he did, it wasn’t with words. He leaned down and sealed his lips to mine. His kiss was long and hot, full of passion and intensity. It was like there were things he wanted to say but couldn’t so he tried to fuse them into the kiss.

 

When he broke away, he didn’t say anything else. He just watched me with dark eyes for a long moment. It wasn’t until Alex came out that he released me.

 

“Alright, boss. I’ve got a quick list of what I need, then we’ll lock ‘er up.”

 

Pax watched me a moment longer, then turned away. He didn’t say goodbye or make promises about coming back. He just got in the car and drove away with Alex as I watched him go.

 

But promises aside, I knew he would be back. I just didn’t know when.