I lay there, my back to him, eyes wide open.

The problem was, it hadn’t been as good as I had remembered.

No, it was so much better.

And that was worse.

I didn’t say anything.

Kai’s voice was low. “I planned telling you. About who I was.”

I didn’t want to have this conversation. “That’s nice,” I said, hoping he would get the hint.

But tigershifters are nothing, if not persistent. “When I found out…” his voice drifted away.

About what? My family? The death of his mother and his elevation to Tigerlord? Whatever it was it didn’t matter; the end result was the same. We were here at this moment, married according to ancient tigershifter custom and yet, complete and utter strangers destined to part.

Anger had become an all too familiar emotion. I got up off the pad, began walking toward our supplies, ignoring the gritty little pebbles under my bare feet. “You don’t need to justify anything.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” He was there suddenly, blocking my path.

I calmly walked around him.

“Whatever you are about to say…it doesn’t change anything.”

His hand clamped on my shoulder. I turned and glared at him.

Always yours.

I dared him to throw those words at me and I was ready with my reply, something sharp and destructive along the lines of never believing what you hear in the midst of sex.

Never mind that it wouldn’t be true.

Suddenly he looked up.

I followed his gaze. Streaks of light, most likely patrol fighters, filled the sky between the stars. I had been told that I was fortunate to live on planets like Kjarn and Tranquility where we didn’t have the problems of pollution to block our views.

And then I realized that there were far, far too many streaks of light

I brushed my fingertips with my thumb, imagining the cool weight of a xiangqi game disc between my fingers.

He released me, and heading toward our packs. In moments, he had begun to build a fire while I picked up the pieces of my armor and dressed myself. When I returned, Kai was still shirtless, save for a weapons harness across his chest. It made him look like some savage barbarian mercenary.

“The ship should arrive within the hour.”

“And then?”

He looked up at the night sky and the continuing flashes. “We find out just what is going on up there.”

He had been on edge since the flashes in the sky started. A battle was taking place but it was unclear who the participants were. Hours had passed since we killed the gorani and if things had gone according to plan, we would have been back at the estate, in the midst of a wedding celebration.

But we had received a congratulatory message that pickup would be delayed, and that we should feel free to enjoy our time alone.

Kai’s requests for further information regarding the ongoing battle in space were ignored.

I could feel his gaze on me, and I tried to ignore it. I wasn’t going to let what happened between us change anything.

And yet, I was supercharged with an awareness, like I was a compass with an orientation fixed toward him.

Soundlessly, he came toward me, offered me a canteen.

I took it from him and drank. It was water, but with an odd refreshing coolness.

“It’s nice. What is in this water?”

“It’s an herb from First Earth. Mint, they call it.”

Of course it was. First Earth foods were notoriously expensive on this side of the system. And for a House like Stargazer, they would even flavor the water to show off their wealth.

“I didn’t know,” I said, raising my gaze to him. I didn’t know who my father was, that my father may have killed your uncle and dozens of your relations.

“I know,” he said, looking at me, clearly not thinking about the mint.

I dropped my gaze, changing the subject.

“I didn’t know when we first met on Tranquility,” I said, because obviously stating the truth again, made it even more true.

He blinked. He smiled a tiger lord’s smile, grandly allowing me a temporary reprieve from this conversation. “Mint,” he said, raising his canteen as if toasting me. “I am glad you are enjoying it. There was some concern in the House about your…tastes.”

“My tastes?”

“Did you really reprogram the food dispensary to make a nutrit-bar?”

“Yes.”

Kai laughed. It was a bright thing, startling to hear. “Our Chief Code Mechanic didn’t believe it was possible,” he said. “I told him that if you gained access to any mainframe, you could make it do what you wished. Kanona was not pleased by this knowledge.”

I couldn’t help smiling at that thought.

“She underestimates you,” he said, looking at me. “She is still annoyed at herself for the xiangqi game you played. I didn’t know you were so good.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Are you challenging me?”

His smile turned hot. “Would you like me to?”

“The wolves of Nightclaw are known for their complex political machinations and calculations,” I said, with a smile.

“I am sorry that I was not there to help you,” he said, his voice softer than I had ever heard it.

I didn’t know what to say.

To render an apology was something that was done only to those shifters considered equals.

Kai saw me as an equal.

The promise in his eyes was of a new beginning, and yet a fulfillment of what we had once so innocently dreamed of.

It was there, waiting for me to take it.

But once I told him the truth, that promise, that dream would disappear as if it had never been.

Like our child.

I sighed, closed my eyes and leaned into him.

His arms came around me. “What is it?” he said.

“Nothing.” I couldn’t tell him yet. I wanted to hold on to this little tiny bit of dreamy peace with the stars above us, as if we were alone in the universe, as long as we could.

“Don’t lie, Seria. It doesn’t become you.”

But real life was a bastard wolf that just kept sniffing around.

That stereotype that shifters could smell lies? Unfortunately, that was one that was true about Kai.

I couldn’t figure out a way to do it smoothly, so I just did it with all of the finesse of a Tigerlord proposing marriage to a captive woman in the middle of the night. “Are you going to tell me about my mother?” I said, changing the subject so obviously.

His hand closed around my wrist, pulling me to him. He was warm. “I accept that something is bothering you, and that you’re not ready to talk about it. But I won’t accept a lie from you.”

“Then don’t ask,” I said, trying not to let my voice quiver. I couldn’t tell him now, couldn’t spoil this.

“Seria,” he said, his voice, a warning rumble.

I had to delay. “You may be ready to listen, but I’m not ready to talk.” What else could I say to put him off?

His voice took on a sensual tinge. “True. Are you asking me to persuade you?”

“No.” Delay delay delay. “I’m not someone you can just order around.”

He smiled. “No, you’re not. When you’re ready, I will speak to you of what I’ve seen of your mother.”

It was a warning. We could pretend a closeness of lovers of husband and wife, but there would be no further information without an exchange. That was reality.

He sniffed the air. “I smell burning.”

I looked at the fire he had just started, then back at him.

He shook his head. “No it’s different. Like…molten metal.” He tapped at the vambrace on his arm, issuing a growling hiss.

Nothing.

He did the same sequence again.

Still nothing. His voice was low. “They’re not responding.”

“Maybe something is jamming them?” I offered, unhelpfully.

He handed another pack to me. “Come on.”

I followed him through the dense shrubbery to a small squat little building that looked for all intents and purposes like a primitive outhouse.

The heavy metal door was locked with a rusty heavy metal chain.

Kai broke it with a single yank. I did my best not to look impressed. “What is the point of using a lock and chain that is so easily broken by a tiger shifter on this planet?” I asked.

The door hissed as the air seal was broken and Kai went in. “It’s not meant to keep tigershifters out; it’s for animals. This is an emergency bunker in case of attack.”

The air was dry and smelled metallic. Inside was an ancient console and screen, like the one I had to maintain in the library on Tranquility. The Library didn’t believe in upgrading networks on planets distant from the main star trails.

He touched the screen. It remained dark. Kai stared at the screen, touched it again.

Nothing.

It was petty of me but it was a little more than satisfying to see him stymied by the ancient tech. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He poked at the same place on the screen, this time more delicately.

“It’s not going to bite you.”

He glared at me with the annoyed look of a spoiled man-child. Unfortunately for me, it only made him look even more adorable. He gestured to the console. “Would you like to try?”

I reached past him, my chest inadvertently brushing against his muscled arms. I ignored the irritating warmth that shot through me.

“Here.” I flipped a switch with an ancient power symbol. A promising hum started up with a clang and then began to glow.

Code began scrolling across a screen. I touched the dusty screen but it didn’t respond.

I reached underneath, searching for the manual console, fumbling with a series of tabs and slots, hoping desperately nothing multi-legged and poisonous would crawl out to bite me.

Something clicked. I yanked it out, tested out the keys. Success.

“You are amazing,” he said.

“I’m an Infoist,” I responded.

I wrestled with the code, for a few moments and then Kanona’s voice began to crackle over the speakers. The growling sounds of Tigerish filled the tiny room. “ — not engage. I, repeat, Do Not Engage. Retreat.”

Kai and I looked at each other.

What in the stars had just happened?

I tried another channel.

Kanona’s voice began again in the repeating broadcast. “This is Lady Stargazer. We are under attack. Though they wear the garb of familiar Houses, they are monsters posing a threat beyond anything we have ever faced in since breaking our chains from the Ealen. The attackers are dead but they will kill you just the same as if alive. Any attempt to fight them may result in a similar infection turning brothers and sisters into enemies. As a result, I am ordering a total retreat and evacuation of all Stargazer lands west of the Dellian River. Do not engage. I, repeat, do not engage. Retreat. May the stars be with us all.”

I stood there, listening to the recording once more, unable to comprehend the magnitude of her words. It didn’t make sense. Tigers didn’t retreat. Especially not from their ancestral estates.

“I’ve seen these things before,” I said, finally looking up at Kai. A hard grimness was in his face. “On the planet where we found the tiger orphans. They were mindless beasts. My brother Ral fought them. He said they smelled like carrion.”

“He fought them? Was he injured?”

“The pilot fought them too. I didn’t see them come back with injuries but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

“Where were you?”

“In the ship. They couldn’t get past Ral and the pilot but Red was pretty sure they wouldn’t be able to breach the barriers of the ship.”

“Kanona would never call for an unprecedented full scale retreat unless necessary.”

He headed out the door.

“Wait. Where are you going?” I followed him out the door, back into the sticky humidity.

“We’re going to get ourselves a ship.”

“What ship?” I followed him through the jungle. “That still doesn’t answer my question.”

“There’s a landing pad a few klicks from here. Kanona will have sent a ship.” He looked at me. “I’ll get you out of here.”

I once believed in his promises. And look where it had gotten me.

We made our way through the jungle, eerie haunting, hissing, and cackling sounds all around us.

“You should tell me what you know of my mother, now. We don’t know what is going to happen.”

Kai stopped.

“Unless of course, you do, in which case, you should tell me anyway.”

He stopped, looked at me. “Your priorities, if nothing else, are clear.”

He turned his back to me, moving through the foliage again. “There was a fight. Your mother put a knife in the Alpha’s shoulder. She was trying to kill him.”

My hands were clenched so tight I felt hot.

I asked the question I didn’t want to ask. And yet, somehow I knew I had to. Even if I already knew the answer. “Did he force her?”

“Is that what you are worried about?” He gave me a look, as if trying to reassure me that he would do no such thing. “Contrary to the way you humans like to depict us in your story vids, shifters don’t force their partners.”

“Power is ambrosia to those with human DNA,” I said quoting a long dead philosopher.

He shook his head.

“There was another vision of your parents together. And…she wanted to be with him. In the way one doesn’t really want to think of one’s parents.”

Ok, now that was a scene I didn’t want in my head, even if I didn’t know my parents. “Was this after she stabbed him with a knife, or before?”

He paused. “I don’t know.”

I rubbed my forefinger and thumb together. “You’re just going to hold the rest over me.”

“No. It’s just that when I tell you, you won’t believe me.”

“Don’t draw it out.”

“She was wearing the robes of a Head Infoist.”

It was like my whole world froze at that moment. It just couldn’t be. He had to be wrong.

Because if he wasn’t, then everything I ever believed about my life was utterly and completely wrong.