CHESSY’S impending night out at The House was met with completely opposite reactions from Joss and Kylie. Kylie tried very hard to hide her confusion and the fact that she didn’t understand the lifestyle her two best friends had chosen.
And while Joss was, in reality, a newcomer to the submissive lifestyle, it had been a want, a desperate need that went years back. It was the one thing her husband hadn’t ever been able to give to her and Joss loved him too much to ever pressure him. So her need had gone unrequited. Until Dash. Her dead husband’s best friend.
Now, Joss understood completely Chessy’s excitement over a night at The House. It was a place Joss and Dash had frequented before Joss learned of her pregnancy. Dash would never do anything that could cause possible harm to their child, not that he’d ever cause Joss to come to any harm either, but he guided her with a fiercely protective dominance. Something Tate and Dash had shared in theory but not in practice over the last two years.
But Chessy and Tate were picking up the pieces and both were deeply committed to repairing their fragile relationship. It was all she could ask for. Just for Tate to reevaluate and recommit himself to her. Even her own commitment was being renewed. Stronger. More everlasting this time so that nothing would ever come between them again.
The women were enjoying a later than usual lunch the day before Chessy and Tate’s upcoming evening at The House and Chessy was brimming with hope and optimism. Not that she’d ever look to another man to somehow fill a gap in her marriage to Tate. Just the opposite. The nights at The House had occurred frequently in the first few years of their marriage. It was something they embraced—enjoyed—and it brought them even closer. For some couples such a thing would certainly drive a wedge between them. Jealousy always had the potential to overshadow all else when another person was introduced into a relationship. But she, or rather Tate, had never exhibited any signs of jealousy—but then Chessy had never had to contend with another woman in the picture. She was honest enough with herself to acknowledge she would likely be insanely jealous were another woman to touch Tate, but then Tate had never even entertained the idea, to Chessy’s knowledge. He seemed content with their current arrangement. In fact, he seemed to derive as much pleasure from the act as Chessy did herself. It was no coincidence in her mind that when they stopped exploring the darker side of their desires, the rift had begun.
Any time a marriage lost both an emotional and a physical connection it was no longer about a kink they both enjoyed. It had become a matter of survival. The survival of their love and their marriage.
As soon as the waiter delivered their entrees and they were afforded complete privacy, Chessy asked the question she was sure was also burning a hole in Joss’s brain. Chessy reached for Kylie’s hand and squeezed.
“How did your first counseling session with Jensen go?”
Kylie’s expression became shuttered and she briefly glanced away. Then, as if realizing that Joss and Chessy were her best friends and confidantes, she looked back up, vulnerability shining in her eyes.
Chessy tightened her hold on Kylie’s hand while Joss reached for Kylie’s other.
“You don’t have to tell us,” Joss said in a low voice. “The last thing we want is for you to be uncomfortable. We were both worried and we knew since it was only the first time that things may not have gone as well as you’d like. So say as much or as little as you’re okay with. Chessy and I love you. You’re our sister in our hearts. We just want you to know that you can always talk to us about anything and we’d never betray your confidence. Even to Dash or Tate.”
As Joss spoke, she glanced Chessy’s way as if gauging whether she was speaking for the both of them and if Chessy was in agreement with all Joss had to say.
Chessy nodded immediately. “Absolutely. We just want you to know we love you and we worry about you. You and Joss are my best friends in the world, and God knows you’ve both nursed me through my frequent misery and bouts of self-pity.”
Kylie gave them a watery smile, which prompted Joss to shove a table napkin into the hand Joss had only just let go. It was a well-known fact in the group that Kylie hated crying. Especially in public. It would mortify her if she knew someone saw her losing control in a room full of people.
Kylie accepted the napkin and wiped hastily at her face. “At least I didn’t wear makeup today,” she said ruefully.
“You’re too beautiful to need makeup,” Joss said firmly.
Chessy smiled her agreement.
Kylie laughed, her tears replaced by mirth. “You’re both so full of shit but I love you for it.” Then her expression sobered once more and she breathed out a sigh. “The therapy session went okay. I mean I guess as well as it could go considering that for me it was akin to bloodletting. The therapist wants to see us individually first before she sees us together. Monday is Jensen’s turn and then I suppose the therapist will compare notes on our insanity and try to put the puzzle pieces together or try to figure out how two equally fucked-up people ever belong in a relationship together.”
Chessy scowled. “That better be sarcasm or your twisted sense of humor coming out because you and Jensen are perfect for one another.”
Kylie smiled. “I may have inserted a little sarcasm.”
Joss snorted. “Ya think? Come on. Give us the real scoop. Unless of course it’s too personal and you’d rather not get into it.”
Kylie rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I think we’ve established that I seem to have no personal boundaries when it comes to the two of you. Just recently, as I recall, we were shitfaced drunk in Joss’s living room and I was blurting out what a stupid-head Jensen was and then I revealed my grand seduction plan of making love to him and then tying him to the bed. If I survived telling you guys all of that I think a visit to my therapist pales in comparison.”
Chessy and Joss both dissolved into laughter.
“She does have a point,” Chessy admitted. “Even Dash was privy to that particular outburst. But it was a brilliant plan. I have to give you that.”
Kylie groaned and briefly covered her face with her hands. “Did you have to remind me that Dash was there to witness my drunken humiliation?”
“Hey, it worked, did it not?” Joss demanded. “I’d say you pulled that plan off spectacularly.”
A satisfied smile curved Kylie’s lips upward, effectively erasing all the earlier conflicting emotions that had shone in her eyes.
“Yeah, it worked,” Kylie said in a faraway tone that told both the other women she was taking an X-rated trip down memory lane.
Then she shook her head as if coming down from the clouds, her expression growing somber once more.
“We discussed my childhood and my inability—or rather my inability until I met Jensen—to form relationships with men. And the fact that in particular I feared dominant, strong men. She made me feel … normal.”
The last was said in a bewildered tone as if Kylie had never until now considered herself remotely normal.
“Sweetie, of course you’re normal,” Chessy defended. “After what you endured at your father’s hands I’d say you wouldn’t be normal if that didn’t affect you well into your adult life. Think about it. The one man in a little girl’s life she’s supposed to be able to trust above all others, the one who is supposed to protect her at all costs, betrayed you horribly. He abused you horribly. No woman—I don’t care if she’s Super Woman—could escape that kind of horror unscathed.”
“Besides, you’ve merely been discerning when it comes to men,” Joss said with conviction. “That doesn’t make you abnormal. That makes you picky, and all women should be picky when it comes to choosing the man they’ll trust and give their hearts to. Can you imagine your life without Jensen now? What if you’d hooked up with some other guy? You wouldn’t have what you have now, so fuck normal.”
Chessy’s and Kylie’s mouths both dropped open in unison. Then Chessy burst into laughter until tears streaked down her cheeks. She coughed and wheezed into her napkin while Joss gave them both looks of bewilderment.
“Well, that’s one way to put it,” Kylie said ruefully. “And it mirrors what Jensen himself has said. I believe his exact words were ‘fuck normal.’”
“I always knew he was a smart man,” Joss said in a smug tone that matched her expression.
“It’s just so funny to hear you dropping F-bombs,” Chessy said, still laughing. “Not that you haven’t before. It’s just not your normal MO.”
Joss rolled her eyes. “I swear you two seem to think I’m some Miss Goody Two Shoes.”
“Oh no, we became well aware that you’re the closet bad girl of this group,” Kylie said dryly. “I might have considered you Little Miss Sunshine at one time, but that was before you told us at lunch that you were going to The House and wanted to hook up with a dominant man. I think it’s safe to say that we certainly reevaluated any assumptions we’d made about you in the past.”
Joss’s cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink and Kylie and Chessy both burst into laughter.
“Busted!” Chessy crowed.
Kylie turned her gaze in Chessy’s direction in a swift change in topic, once more putting the focus on Chessy, and likely relieved to have it off herself. But that was just Kylie. She’d certainly come a long way but it didn’t mean she liked being thrust into the spotlight. Even by her best friends.
“So, uhm, you’ve sort of said in the past what it is you and Tate do at The House, but I’ll be honest, I mostly tuned you out. I know that sounds horrible, but my virgin ears could only take so much!”
“Oh for the love of God,” Joss muttered. “So says a woman who tied her boyfriend to her bed. The only difference here is that our husbands tie us to the bed.”
Chessy smothered her laughter with her hand. “Busted again, sweetie. No response to that one, huh.”
“So are you going to spill or not?” Kylie persisted, purposely ignoring their needling. “I guess today is a day for morbid curiosity because I confess, I can’t wrap my brain around Tate actually sharing you with another man. No matter what your past difficulties may have been, he is and always has been forbiddingly possessive of you.”
Chessy was determined not to show any self-consciousness in this discussion. No, it wasn’t a conversation she’d have with just anyone, but Kylie and Joss weren’t just anyone. They were her best friends. Her sisters, as Joss had so eloquently put it. And she wasn’t in the least ashamed of her and Tate’s sexual preferences.
“It sounds more complicated than it is,” Chessy said ruefully. “Basically Tate chooses a man to dominate me but who is dominated by Tate.”
Even Joss blinked over that explanation and then Chessy realized how it had come across. She groaned. “Okay, that is not what I meant.”
“This I gotta hear,” Kylie said in a dry tone.
“Tate chooses a man who would ordinarily act as a Dominant and not take instruction, especially from another Dominant. The man’s task is to … please … me. Tate tells him what to do and how to do it. Tate watches from the sidelines. That’s a figurative expression, by the way. Tate is always right there overseeing every aspect of what goes on. But he directs the action.”
Kylie’s expression grew thoughtful but she didn’t interrupt Chessy’s explanation.
“The other man takes me through the paces.”
Chessy glanced around uneasily to ensure no one was sitting close enough to their booth to potentially overhear and lowered her voice for the remainder of her explanation.
“The man undresses me, slowly, at Tate’s command. From there, it’s whatever Tate wishes to see or experience.”
Kylie frowned. “And not about what you want?”
“Oh yes,” Chessy said with a radiant smile. “Tate is very aware of what I like, what gives me pleasure. But he likes to surprise me. He never tells me beforehand what to expect. Me not knowing heightens the anticipation. Sometimes the man will bind me to cross bars, arms and legs spread wide. He’ll flog me or use leather. Other times he’ll secure me over a spanking bench and after the man has ‘sufficiently prepared’ me, Tate will take over and fuck me while my skin is still heated from the kiss of the whip.” She could feel the blush working its way up her neck at the blunt way she’d described the scene.
Kylie sent a suspicious glance Joss’s way. “You don’t seem the least bit shocked or appalled. Just what have you and Dash been up to anyway?”
“Oh, much the same,” Joss said cheerfully. “Only without the other guy, and well, not since we learned I was pregnant.”
Kylie shook her head. “Clearly I’m the boring one in this group.”
Chessy smiled mischievously. “Oh, I don’t know. Tying a guy to your bed can’t exactly be considered boring.”
“Y’all are never going to let go of that, are you?” Kylie asked with an exasperated sigh.
“Nope!” Joss said, a huge grin on her face.
“I think y’all are the ones who need therapy,” Kylie grumbled. “I’m looking more ‘normal’ all the time.”
Joss checked her watch and then glanced up at the others in chagrin. “Sorry to eat and run but I have to leave if I’m going to make my OB appointment.”
Chessy made a shooing motion with her hand. “You go on. Lunch is on me today.”
Joss paused on her way up from the table and pinned Chessy with a pointed stare. “Kylie and I will expect all the juicy details Saturday, and if we don’t hear from you, we’re totally coming over.”