Chapter Sixteen
When the others finally moved away from Tannin and Rai, he whispered into her ear again. “There’s one part of the club I haven’t shown you yet.”
“The source of your magic?”
He laughed, and tried to ignore the way his heart lurched at her humor. “Not quite.” Tannin took her hand and led her to the private area of the club. There wasn’t anyone guarding the door right now, but there would be later when the club was open for business.
She glanced around slowly, taking in the dark corners and elaborate silk screens that served to allow partial privacy. “Let me guess…”
“What are you thinking?” She gave him a droll look, and he was tempted to make her say it, but it was cruel after his earlier revelations about having fucked Tarot and Legs. It had been obvious that bothered her. “I told you we’re not shy about having sex in front of each other.”
“Do customers come back here, too?”
“Only if they’re with one of us.”
“Why are you showing me this?”
“Because it’s part of the building, Rai. No other reason.” Tannin put his arms around her and his dick jumped to attention. “And because I hope to fuck you here one night, with others around to watch.”
She didn’t stiffen, but he couldn’t ignore the slight change in her body. “May I think about that one for a while?”
Tannin cupped her face. “You know you want to. You never thought you’d get up on a stage and dance, but you did.”
Gradually, the beautiful smile he’d already grown to love spread across her face. “Damn you, Tannin. Now I’m picturing it.”
He laughed again and kissed her, sorely tempted to fuck her right there in the room, with or without an audience. But it occurred to him that until this mess with Vito was cleared up, his fantasy of having her back here one night would have to wait. She couldn’t be spotted by any customers who might recognize her. They were less than thirty miles from Cleveland, and people came from all over the state to this place. It was possible she’d be recognized by the wrong person.
“Let’s go and check your email. Then we’ll figure out what to do with the rest of this rainy day.”
Once they returned to her room and she opened her email program, she gasped softly. Tannin peered over her shoulder. “Did he write back? What did he say?”
“Here. Read.” She pushed the laptop toward him.
“Rai, I’ve already been in touch with the SAIC and with Mr. Messina. Your staff is safe, and will be watched by the above. I’ll be in touch soon with more information. Russell.”
“Thank you, Tannin.” When Rai stood and put her arms around him, images of her dancing up on that stage filled his mind. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to know they’re safe. It sounds like I could be here for a while.”
“Yes, it does.” He cupped her face and gazed into her dark eyes. “Think you can deal with that?”
“I think so, yes.”
“Good. Because I might never let you leave.”
She didn’t respond, but he hadn’t really expected her to. Tannin held her until noises in the hallway distracted him. As much as he’d love to spend the day in bed with Rai, weekends at the club were busy, and he had work to do.
“Gorgon has called an emergency meeting in the church this afternoon, and I—”
“Church?”
“What we call the space for our club business meetings. This one is only for officers. I imagine we’re going to discuss what’s going on.”
“Should I be there?”
“No. It’ll just be a rehash of what we’ve already talked about.”
“What should I do with myself? I’ll go stir crazy if I simply hide up here.”
“Why don’t you hang out with Legs? I’m sure she’d appreciate the help in the kitchen.”
“All right.”
It was impossible to miss the hesitation in her voice. “You don’t care for her, do you?”
“No, that’s not true at all. She’s adorable.”
“Then it’s the fact that I fucked her.”
She averted her gaze, and her face flushed slightly.
“Rai, this is how we live. Legs and Tarot aren’t the only women living here that I’ve fucked.”
“I’m not exactly sweet and innocent, Tannin.”
“It’s none of my business who you fucked in the past.”
“No, it’s not. And it’s none of mine who you have sex with. But the difference is, you’re not hiding out in a strip club, forced to be face-to-face with the sexual partners in my past.”
“It’s just sex.” Unless she had the same feelings for him that he had for her. Then it wasn’t just sex. It was jealousy. As much jealousy as he’d feel if Ronnie Ellis walked in here right now. Holy fuck. This was exactly what Tannin had always avoided. But was it fair to expect her not to react this way when he’d do the exact same thing?
“I get that,” she said. “Give me time to get used to it, okay?”
“Of course.” He pulled her close again so he didn’t have to look into those big eyes, filled with conflicting emotions. Or, perhaps it was because he didn’t want her to see the same thing in his? Either way, Tannin was in serious danger of losing his heart to this extraordinary woman. He should be afraid of that, but he was not. Not even close.
****
The next few days passed by too slowly for Rai. It rained Saturday, Sunday, and most of Monday. The Brothers had their meeting Saturday afternoon, and just as Tannin had guessed, it was only a rehash of what had already been said. Rai was stuck waiting, along with the rest of them.
Sundays and Mondays the club was closed, and Rai grew restless, even though she was able to walk into it and watch the dancers rehearse. Meghan let her help put away a shipment of liquor, and she amused herself with the gigantic washers and dryers.
If not for Tannin’s presence, she’d have lost her mind. He played cards with her, listened to her stories about campaigns she’d designed, and helped her compose a list of items needed to make the promised cuccidati, lasagna, and eggplant parmesan.
When Rai offered to do the shopping herself, he pointed out why she couldn’t be seen in public. How foolish she’d been to even ask. Of course she couldn’t go down the street to the local grocery store. She had to stay out of sight.
By Wednesday, she was no longer jealous of Chloe. Tannin told her she’d been physically and emotionally abused by her ex-boyfriend, and had come here seeking shelter. He also told her that it was a cousin of Meghan’s who had helped Legs find her way here.
He didn’t share all the details, mostly because he said the only person who knew everything was Gorgon, but he shared enough that it made Rai’s betrayal by Ronnie sound tame in comparison.
Chloe told Rai herself that when she had first come to the club a year ago, her self-worth was tied to how often her ex wanted to have sex with her. He used it as a weapon against her, so Chloe was more than willing to fuck the Brothers. She didn’t believe herself worthy of their attention otherwise.
“Do you still believe that?” Rai asked her Wednesday evening. The lasagna Rai had made for dinner was a hit, and there wasn’t one piece left over. She and Chloe were alone in the kitchen, drying dishes, and the story Tannin had told her had been on Rai’s mind all day.
“Sometimes, but I’m learning not to. The dancing helps a lot, believe it or not.”
“I do believe it. You’re very talented.”
“It’s more than the money and the attention. The physical activity helps keep the stress from the nightmares at bay.”
“Have you and Gorgon been a couple since you came here?”
“No, he only recently asked me to be his old lady. It took me a long time to trust any of them enough to let one of them claim me as his own, let alone him.”
“He’s intimidating.”
“Only on the outside.” Chloe have her a sideways glance. “You know that Tannin has had sex with some of us, right?”
“Yes. He told me.”
“Are you upset about that?”
As much as Rai didn’t want to have this conversation, the trepidation on Chloe’s face won out. “I was at first, but now I’m not.”
The girl’s face filled with relief. “You really like him, don’t you?”
“He’s grown on me.”
Chloe’s smile reminded Rai of the way Tannin grinned at her when he’d nailed her on something. “I think it’s more than that.”
“Well, it hardly matters. He said himself this isn’t happily-ever-after, so…”
She chuckled. “Yeah. Gorgon said much the same thing to me at first.” Chloe leaned closer and lowered her voice, even though no one else was around.
“These guys love to dress in their cuts and cover their bodies with tattoos. Their bikes are hogs, and they live on the edge. They cuss like drunken sailors and would get into a fight in a heartbeat if it meant defending one another, or one of us. But inside, they want to be loved as much as anyone. Just don’t ask any of them to admit it.”
“Do you love Gorgon?”
Chloe’s expression changed quickly. It became so sad Rai wished she hadn’t asked. “Yes.”
“But…”
“Am I that transparent?”
“A bit. But so am I.”
She sighed. “I do love him. Don’t misunderstand me. It’s just difficult at times for me to imagine completely giving my heart away again. Not even to Gorgon. Does that make sense?”
Rai couldn’t help smiling because she understood exactly what Chloe meant. “Yes. It makes perfect sense.”
A noise in the hallway distracted them before Meghan walked in, rubbing her eyes. “Just me. Can’t sleep. Came down to get some Tums.”
“It’s all right,” said Chloe. “We were just finishing up. You want some chamomile tea? It usually helps you.”
“No.” Meghan gave Chloe a weak smile. “Not tonight. Thanks, though.” She reached into a cupboard and emptied about five Tums into her hand before popping them into her mouth. “Night.”
“She took a lot of those,” whispered Rai, after Meghan had left.
“She needs to see a doctor but won’t do it. She’s had stomach issues since she came here.”
“Why won’t she go?”
Chloe bit her lip and cut her gaze toward the hallway.
“Never mind. Forget I asked.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that she told me in confidence. I shouldn’t have said anything to begin with.”
“I understand completely. And it’s good to know you’re so trustworthy. Thank you for that.”
“If you can’t trust someone, you have no chance of having any kind of relationship with that person.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“You can trust Tannin, you know. He’s one of the good guys. The Brothers would each lay down their life for him. He gave them this place, after all. Gorgon told me that Tannin worked tirelessly to try to make his father and the men he hired pay for burning down the old place.”
“Why wasn’t he able to? I asked, and he only said no one can touch his father.”
“They ruled it an arson but had no evidence other than Tannin’s suspicions, so they eventually closed the case.”
“It’s also murder, and there’s no statute of limitations on that in Ohio.”
“I think his father paid someone to either destroy evidence, or keep quiet about anything they did find.”
“It’s not right.”
“No, it’s not. But Tannin made something good out of it. He walked away from his family for these men, and now look at this place. It brings in a fortune.”
“And provides a safe haven.”
“Yes. It does.”
Rai studied Chloe’s profile as she put away the last of the coffee cups. She might look younger than her age when she smiled, and with some makeup on, but in the harsh fluorescent lights, and when talking about her past or whatever was going on with Meghan, she had tiny worry lines in the corners of her eyes. What had happened to this girl before she came here wasn’t pretty.
“I’m going up. I’m tired.”
“Me, too.”
“Thanks for your help, Rai.”
“I’m glad to do it. I want to contribute in some way.”
“You do.” Rai was surprised when Chloe gave her a quick hug. “And you’re a good listener, too.”
After Chloe went into Gorgon’s room, Rai entered hers to find Tannin asleep. He must have been in here waiting for her to finish in the kitchen. She undressed, and then crawled underneath the covers and snuggled next to his warm body, recalling what Chloe had said to her about trust.
It was time she gave Tannin back some of the trust he’d shown her. He hadn’t let anything in her past bother him, so she needed to let go of his, too. She’d lived her life with walls around her heart after what Ronnie had done to her. While that had kept her from getting hurt, it also left her lonely and just as jaded as Chloe in a way.
Rai sighed and moved closer to Tannin. If the others trusted this man so much, she could, too.