Ax screeched and bolted, mid swing, toward the slide at the park near our place. When I saw Celia running to meet her, I couldn’t help but smile. I was proud to know my kid was helping the girl. The two little girls crashed together into a ball of pink and black, hugging like they hadn’t seen each other in a year. Then the woman with Celia caught my eye. She was tall, taller than me, with stark white hair and a warm smile. Her blue eyes told me exactly who she was, so I walked over confidently tom shake her hand.

“Hi, I’m Cori.” Griffin’s mother gave me a weak hand shake making me think she didn’t like what she saw in me.

“Lily.” Lily tugged her sweater around her tighter. “Griffin mentioned you and your daughter.” I smiled awkwardly, turning to watch the girls slide, squealing. “Celia has been through so much, but she is so strong. My son is doing a good job with her.” Her voice was soft, distant.

Lily’s build was nothing like Griffin’s. She was tall, but thin and lithe where he was bulky. She brought up being a breast cancer survivor and how much Griffin meant to her, not only as a son, but as a provider. He stepped up when she got sick, taking care of her, making her move in with him, and taking her to every appointment. “He wants to think he’s unshakable, but don’t let him fool you.” Apparently, he had done more than mention me, and the thought gave me the flutters.

The girls bounced over to us, and I pulled out a bag of crackers for them to share, telling Ax to make sure she was fair. Celia hugged my legs, letting me pat her hair before she followed Ax to the bottom of the slide. Lily and I talked about the girls and how sweet they were together. I made a point to not ask about Griffin. She tried to volunteer information, but the idea made me uncomfortable. I wouldn’t want someone else telling him about me, so I returned the courtesy.

“I’ve never seen Griffin date a woman.” Lily sounded like she was warning me, or maybe it was a threat.

“Really?” What was I supposed to say? He told me he didn’t date but made it clear we were giving it a shot. I didn’t date, either. Hell, I didn’t date before I met Richard. My experience with men began and ended with Richard.

“No, never even seen him take a woman out to dinner until you. Gives me hope he can keep things stable for Celia. I don’t think he should be dating at all, it’s too soon, but at least he quit being so loose. I was so worried that Celia would have to see him bring in woman after woman and think men are supposed to treat women the way he did. At least he’s doing right by his daughter, setting a decent example if he insists on having a woman in his life.” Lily folded her hands in her lap. I couldn’t tell if she was talking down to me or telling me to run away. I hated thinking of him going around fucking other women, but it was the reality. It wasn’t like I could seriously consider sleeping with him anyway. I had gotten caught up when we were on our date, but the truth was I couldn’t let myself be intimate without a massive panic attack later. No matter how badly I wanted to feel him against me, inside me, I couldn’t.

“He’s a great dad. I love that the girls are getting close.” It was the best answer I could come up with. Lily had knocked my confidence down a notch, or ten. Surely, she was saying I was different, right? Was I? Questions flooded me, threatening to drown me entirely. I wanted to know what was happening between us, especially after my chat with Lily. One date meant nothing in the scheme of things, but the way Griffin followed me around made me hope for something.

Once it started getting dark we parted ways, promising to see Celia in a few days, and the girls gave out hugs before we left. Axel went to bed easily after a thirty-minute bath that included an epic battle between ponies and rubber ducks. I curled up on the couch, flipping through reality shows, sipping wine.

Cori: I know you’re busy, but I just met your mom.

Griffin: Well, shit.

Cori: She was pleasant and the girls got to play. How sick is she?

Griffin: Double mastectomy sick, but in remission.

Cori: I’m glad I met her. Get back to work before the boss gets on your ass. See ya Sunday

I tossed the phone to the side, lying back on the couch, finishing off my glass. Something about sleeping on the couch, or the wine, or the idea of having sex again made my dreams nothing less than nightmares. The strung-out look in the dealer’s eyes as he pinned me, knife to my neck, forcing himself in and out was the worst part. I woke up panting, clutching my neck, and sweat trickled down my temple. Shit. No matter how badly I wanted to be normal, to be intimate, it wasn’t going to happen. Not without a very scary breakdown after or during. Then Griffin would be practically scrambling to get the hell out of my bed. The fact that they never found the men who attacked me certainly didn’t help my panic attacks.

* * *

Sunday morning was the same energy it always was on zoo days. Ax was running around like a wild animal as usual, but I was nervous as hell. “Can I wear a Jack Daniels shirt to the zoo?” Harriet giggled on the other end of the line. We had an hour before we left and I was just starting to get ready. I never gave a shit how I looked, never tried to impress anyone, but Griffin made me slightly crazy. The talk with his mom made it even worse. “Oh, I have my Ramones shirt clean too.” I looked at my tattered cuffed jeans and black Chuck Taylors.

“You never act like this.” Harriet had a point, and I could hear her tone even through speaker phone. “Just put on a shirt, Cori. Griff doesn’t care what you wear.”

“Fine, some friend you are. I’ll call you later.” We hung up as Axel raced in the room, promptly laughing at my state of undress. She looked like an ad for punk kids’ clothes. Black tulle skirt, red tank top with skulls, black bandana in her hair, and red high tops. I tossed her on my bed, tying her shoes, and decided on a Darth Vader tank top. After I twisted my hair into a bun, Axel handed me a black ribbon to tie around it then we went to pack lunches.

“Celia will love Max and Ben. They are my favorite cousins.” Ax dragged her step stool over to the counter and climbed up to help me make sandwiches. Max and Ben were her only cousins, but the thought was sweet. I bagged the grapes, popping one into my mouth. “Aunt Ari will like her too.” I hoped Aunt Ari liked Griffin, but I knew she wouldn’t. My big sister would be a total uppity bitch about him. Arianna would wear a cardigan with sensible shoes. She’d have her blonde curls in a Barbie-high pony tail and would scrunch her nose when she saw him. Oh, well. I would get to watch him be super uncomfortable around her. At least our little sister was a badass, not a prude. I missed her so damn much.

Cori: Oh, forgot to tell you… boyfriend thing is coming with his daughter today

Arianna: Forgot? So much for sister time. Since when do you date? Why would you even consider dating?

Cori: I invited them last minute.

Arianna: Whatever, Cori. You never consider other’s feelings when you act. I should be used to you and Meredith treating everyone as a second thought. Why are you even dating when you should be focused on Axel? Mom said you were hung over when you picked her up after your birthday. I thought you had finally decided to act like an adult.

Leave it to Ari to put a damper on my mood for the zoo and make me feel like the world’s worst parent. I knew damn well Mom would never have said I was hungover. Nothing was ever good enough, no one was nearly as perfect as Arianna. I pushed her shitty accusation out of my mind and went on getting our food packed. I was pissed as hell. Had I told her earlier, she would have talked me out of them tagging along, but then again, I was damned either way. Meredith wasn’t even there to defend herself against Ari’s harshness, but I wasn’t going down that road again. I spent way too much time defending our little sister for her horrible actions, and it never ended well for me.

“Okay, Munchkin.” I zipped the backpack. “Lunch, water, sunblock, ice cream money. Do we need anything else?” Axel tapped her chin in deep contemplation before shaking her head. I tossed the pack over my shoulder, grabbed Axel’s hand, and headed to the car.

The Jeep swung in next to Griffin’s and he got out, opening the door for Celia. She was dressed in pink shorts, a pink unicorn shirt, with matching pink shoes, but her nails were black. The visual of him painting her teeny nails came to mind and I smiled. I loved how he became a different person for his daughter. Then I looked him over. Holy hell. His gray Henley looked like it may burst around his biceps and the dark-wash jeans were a perfect fit. His wardrobe lacked variety, but I was certainly not complaining. He snatched the bag from my front seat, tossed it on his back, then took Celia’s hand. Griffin gave me a quick wink before we started toward the entrance.

“Aunt Ari!” Once we made it to the sidewalk, Axel tore away from me to charge my sister. I nailed Arianna’s outfit down to the high pony tail. She had on floral printed shorts, a pink top, and white sneakers with her hair pulled up. Her boys looked about the same. They all looked like they just stepped out of the yacht club or a J. Crew catalogue. Griffin gave me the best look before we went on to meet my sister. I had warned him.

“What in the world are you wearing?” Ari picked at Axel’s shirt immediately.

“It’s my favorite.” Boom, sis, schooled by a pre-schooler. Arianna liked to act as if I forced my style on Axel, but in reality, she picked most of my clothes. It was going to be a fun day, but hey, Griffin had asked for it. Ari shrugged. I exchanged fist bumps with my nephews, who eyed Griffin like he might eat them. Ben was eight, your typical “bro” with colored shorts and a popped collar. Max was eleven and a little more casual, almost nerdy. His Superman t-shirt earned him an extra fist bump. My nephew cautiously approached Griffin.

“Max.” He stuck his hand out like a true gentleman and Griffin shook his hand.

Ari looked like she might die. “Griffin? Griffin Steele?”

“Arianna Wallace is your sister?” Griffin grimaced at me, and I nodded slowly. Ari crossed her arms over her chest. “Good to see you again.” Ari made some noise between a huff and a groan. Oh, this is going to be fun.

We strolled into the zoo with Max and Griffin talking about comics and tattoos. “Oh, man! That is sick.”

Ari huffed when Griffin tossed a hand over Max’s shoulders, talking like they were best friends. It was priceless. We wandered aimlessly, letting Celia lead the way mostly since she had never been. She talked more than I had ever heard. The quiet little girl came out of her shell and asked me to read every sign to her. She begged for a picture of her and Ax together at every animal. Griffin lumbered along behind us, hands in his pockets, taking in the scene like he was having a good time. I hoped he was since his daughter was. When the girls stopped to squeal over some meerkats, I made my way back to him, sliding my arm around his waist, making sure to drag my fingers over the muscles in his back.

“Your sister hates me, but it was no different in high school.” I cocked my head to see him side-eye me. Ari was a bitch back then too. It was in her DNA or something.

“Do you care?”

“Not at all. I’m having away too much fun with this.” He squeezed my hip, kissed my head, and jogged over to throw Celia on his shoulders. Griffin went all out on the trip. Celia rode camels, fed giraffes, and we watched the bird show. He insisted on paying for Axel to join Celia at every turn and at one point had both kids on his back running past crowds of people. After a couple of hours of trailing behind the kids, we stopped for lunch. I fed the four of us sandwiches while my sister pulled out grilled chicken salads with organic dressing for her darlings. I snuck chips to the boys, distracting Ari with talk about her book club. Someone had to save the boys from their mother.

I came back from the bathroom to overhear Ari talking to Griffin. Shit. I stopped behind my sister so I could listen but stay out of her line of sight. “So, you’re in a relationship with my little sister?” Griffin shrugged. “Do you even know what she’s been through?” Griffin adjusted his posture, readying himself for the confrontation. “The last thing my sister needs is a guy like you coming in and messing with her head when it’s obvious what you want from her. Guys like you don’t stick around. You were a whore in high school, so I highly doubt you’ve grown up by the look of you.” I cleared my throat, taking the focus off Griffin, and sat down between them. My bitch of a sister had a death wish. Granted, I was a disaster, but it wasn’t her place to talk about me. Griffin pecked me on the forehead, scooting his chair back to go get the kids some ice cream and taking orders before he went. The poor man obviously needed an escape. My sister jumped down my damn throat before Griffin was even out of earshot.

“What in the world is wrong with you, Cori?” Ari hissed at me across the metal table. “You let that man around Axel? Into your life?”

“Has he done something to offend you?” Who the hell was she to be judgmental? I knew she would be, but dragging Ax and my parenting into it was too much. “I met him because our kids go to dance together. He is a contributing member of society. He’s a nice guy trying to do the best for his daughter.” I narrowed my eyes, ready to argue this one into the ground. Griffin and I weren’t super serious, but she made me want to screw him on the table to seal the deal.

“He ruins bodies for a living. How is he contributing?”

“Griffin’s an artist, Ari, and I’m done talking about this. He’s a good guy, his daughter loves Ax. You need to get your head out of your ass. It’s not your business.”

“He’s around Axel, so it is my business, Corinne. What happens when he’s done with you and you’re too broken up to care for your daughter? Or when he leaves you after a panic attack and someone needs to pick up the pieces?” Arianna’s face read like she had just won the Olympics.

“Since when do I get torn up about anyone? Again, my private life is none of your business.” I looked down at Ax and Celia. “That little girl has been through more than I have, and Griffin has done wonders for her. So, keep your bullshit opinions to yourself.” She opened her mouth to throw her rebuttal at me but there was shouting from the brick building we had settled in front of. Chaos ensued. Griffin’s rough voice shouting sent a chill through me. His tone bordered on murderous. Several things happened at once. Celia crawled into my lap, Ben came scrambling out of the bathroom, and Griffin slammed a man into the bricks. Ben was pale, with tears streaking his face. I passed Celia to Ari and threw my seat back. I could hear Ben crying and Celia crying, but mostly I heard Griffin yelling a string of profanities at the zoo in front of a lot of kids. He had the man by the collar holding him off his feet against the wall. Griffin made the man look tiny and the fight had obviously started before Griffin moved it outside. There was blood and a fresh bruise on the guy’s face. What the hell happened?

“Call the police before I kill the motherfucker, Cori,” Griffin’s voice was a low growl. When the man tried to talk, Griffin tightened his grip, shoving him back harder and choking him. The guy shut up. Everything happened in a blur. People gathered to watch, but no one attempted to pull Griff off the man. They would have been stupid to try. A few other men gathered, creating a wall behind Griffin, but I wasn’t sure if they were there to back Griffin up or preparing to take him out. I fumbled with my phone calling 911 and stumbled through the best explanation I could muster with the woman on the phone. It was difficult to answer her questions when I didn’t know what the hell had happened.

A golf cart with security pulled up and two uniformed men jumped out, demanding answers. “This creep was harassing a boy in the bathroom.” My hand went to my mouth and I took a step back. He could kill the guy for all I cared. The other dads who had gathered took a step in, ready for their turn with the sicko. “Walked in to hear the boy yell. The fucking pervert was shoving him into the stall.” Ari was still at the table with Celia in her lap and her hand on Ben’s shoulder. His eyes were wide and his face was red. Max had Axel in his lap. I didn’t know if I needed to restrain Griffin to eliminate a murder charge or help my sister with the kids.

I could see the pulse in Griffin’s neck. The muscles in his jaw ticked. Security cuffed the man, insisting Griffin let him go, led him to the cart. They told us to stay put for when the police came. I watched Griffin’s body uncoil, loosening slightly as security took the man from him. Once I was sure justified murder was not on the agenda, I focused on the kids and Ari. Griffin grabbed my arm as I started back to the table.

“I, uh, I’ll be back in five.” He walked off, leaving me to deal with the aftermath. I watched him storm off without a look back.

Once I could move, I made my way to Ben, but it was Celia that ended up in my arms. “Where did he go?” The terrified little girl whined into my chest as I petted her hair. “He was so mad.”

“Not at you, baby. That man did something bad and Daddy stopped him.” It was Ari who answered her as I dropped into the chair. My sister caught my eyes, jerking Ben into her lap, folding him up so he fit. “I’m sorry, Cori. Obviously …” I shook my head.

Screw her for judging him in the first place. I couldn’t even begin to think of what would have happened if Griffin wasn’t there. Axel was fine with Max, so I focused on Celia, helping her deal with seeing Griffin angry and aggressive, assuring her that her dad would be back. The sweet little girl seemed convinced that Daddy was abandoning her, and it broke my heart.

Police came, Griffin reappeared, and Celia climbed him to cry into his shoulder. He kept away from us, or Ari, most likely, calming Celia. I heard him promise repeatedly that he would never leave her, could never be angry with her. Axel asked a million questions, mostly questions that were for another time, so I pulled her away to answer her the best I could so Ben couldn’t hear us. We talked more about good touches versus bad touches and I finally satiated her quest for knowledge. Arianna decided to take the boys home and have her husband, Lee, come home from work. I doubted she would ever leave either boy unattended again, but I couldn’t blame her. Before she left, Ari grabbed Griffin, throwing her arms around him. He hugged her back, whispering to her, and patted my nephews on the shoulders. I hugged and kissed everyone, still in a bit of shock. We watched them walk toward the exit. The four of us stood at the table, collecting our thoughts.

“Do you want to leave? Maybe we should call it a day.” Axel whined at my words, but I shushed her. She didn’t understand what had just happened, and I didn’t want her to.

“No, I want to see an elephant,” Celia squeaked from her perch in Griffin’s giant arms. At her command, her dad nodded once and started walking, brushing past me.

I let him brood, let him process, following him with Ax on my back. Griffin didn’t even look at me the rest of the time. I exchanged texts with Ari, checking on Ben, telling her to call if she needed anything. Crowds of giggles moved around us in droves as we walked, but Griffin didn’t say a word to me. I was barely able to concentrate on the good time Axel and Celia were having for the creeper in the bathroom. Axel’s sunshine voice did nothing to help my mood or Griffin’s after another hour, so I called it quits.

“You guys stay if you want, but I think Ax and I are heading out. I need to cook dinner and get stuff ready for tomorrow.” Griffin finally looked at me, furrowing his brow, shoving his hand in his pockets. The day had sucked, again, which meant attempt number two at spending time together had been a disaster as well.

“Can Celia come play?” Griffin and I both looked down at Axel.

* * *

Half an hour later, Griffin was unloading at my house, and Axel was giving Celia every detail of our home. My munchkin talked about the swing we used to have on the porch, the color of her room, the new furniture on the patio. I told her to take Celia to her room for some coloring and relaxing while I got ready for dinner. My existence still hadn’t been acknowledged by Griffin so I let him in without a word. He looked around quietly, not looking at me or speaking. The entry room was mostly a mudroom with a shelf for shoes, a small table for my purse, and some pegs for coats. The living room was spacious with big windows covered in navy-colored furniture but everything looked small with him inspecting it.

Leaving him on his own, I went to the kitchen to take dinner inventory. I was used to two people, not four, so I made sure I had enough of something to feed us all. By the time Griffin waltzed his moody ass back in, I was wrist deep in seasoning for chicken and the oven was preheating. He watched from the doorframe, crossing his arms over his broad chest, keeping his expression unreadable. Maybe Ari was right. I knew he was a genuinely good guy, but maybe he wasn’t ready for the baggage I had. Maybe it was best that Ari had run her stupid mouth and warned him not to get involved with me. I wanted Griffin, but after two horrible dates, maybe it was all too much.

It was after I moved to wash my hands that he pressed his front against my back, running his hands down my arms to where I was lathering my hands. I shuddered when he kissed from my ear to my shoulder. Fuck him for making me react to him. Griffin reached across, turned off the water, and spun me to face him.