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FUCK, I’M LATE PICKING up Ava’s mom and brother. I need a louder horn on this car. Of all the nights for there to be a music concert in town, wouldn’t you know it’d be the night of Thiago and Brooke’s wedding rehearsal and dinner? And, of course, we’re all heading in the same direction. Shit, I press hard on the horn with the heel of my hand twice, but all that comes out is the soft squeal of beep, beep. “Move people,” I holler out loud, but my window is rolled up and no one hears me to give a shit.

Take a deep breath, Dante. Fuck, I’m anxious as hell. My big brother, Thiago, is getting married. I can’t fucking believe it. He’s like a father to me, always has been. Brooke will be the greatest sister-in-law in the world. She is so caring and giving, and funny. How my uptight brother scored her I have no clue, but I’m thankful every day he pulled his head out of his ass and realized he loved her.

Speaking of love and being an ass, I’m also anxious as hell over telling Ava I love her tonight. I’ve come close so many fucking times, but that’s supposed to be this crazy, epic moment in our lives. Like the first time she told me. She had pulled off this amazing stunt of sexifying (I know that’s not really a word, but damn, there is no word to describe the way she looked. A-fucking-mazing isn’t really a word either) herself up with the help of Brooke and Cassee. She sneaked into my private suite, and had Brooke send me in there looking for a package that got delivered. What an idiot I was to fall for that...but she delivered one hell of a package that night.

Looking back, I know I fell in love with her then; that long talk lasted most of the night and into breakfast the next morning. We’ve done that countless times since then, just lying in bed, wrapped around each other recounting the highs and lows of our days. These are my favorite memories made, so far.

A hole in the traffic finally opens up and I speed into it to turn left. Fuck, I hate sitting and waiting, every block feels like an inch. Ahh, progress. I press my foot on the gas pedal and can actually reach the speed limit for once. It only takes me ten more minutes and I’m pulling into Abby’s apartment complex. I hope she’s still not mad at me for adamantly refusing to let her drive tonight.

She and Josh are sitting on the bench outside their main door. He’s fiddling with the tie that he’s wearing, and she’s fussing at him to leave it alone or it’s going to get wrinkled. He’s got his Miami Dolphins hat on. That thing is getting tattered and worn. We need to get him a new one. I can’t wait for his birthday in December. Ava and I bought him tickets to their home game against the New England Patriots. The best thing about that game is it’s a night game, so he’ll get to watch them under the lights. Shit, even I’m excited to go.

They both look up to see me waiting. I’ve learned not to honk my horn and upset Josh. He’s the best kid, but he’s still a teenager and more than a handful when he gets upset. They both stand and head towards my car. I get out and hold the doors open for each of them.

“Thank you, kind Sir,” Abby says smiling. She’s humming, so I’m glad she’s in a good mood. Josh gets into the backseat and sits quietly, taking in his surroundings in the car.

“You’re very welcome,” I reply.

We drive for a short distance, and I reach over to turn down the radio. “Abby, may I ask you something?” I look over at her and her smile is beaming wide.

“Absolutely,” she chirps. She continues to hum even without the music on the radio. Her head is turned away from me, and I’m thankful for her non-attentive state. The butterflies are already escaping my stomach and heading north towards my throat. I clear it twice before I can speak.

“Abby, you know Ava is the whole reason I live and breathe?” I ask, my voice is quivering. Why is this so fucking hard for me to do? I love her and I know it, so why do I sound so damn unsure?

“I do,” she replies bluntly, adjusting the handle on her oversized purse and drawing it closer to her in her lap. She is practically wringing the leather on the handle. Is she nervous? At least now I know where Ava gets that from.

“I’d like your permission to marry her. May I ask her?” I ask. “I have plans to ask her tonight, if that’s okay?”

“Oh, boy. Of course, you have my permission. What do you think I’ve been waiting for?” she asks in response laughing. Right at that moment, the handle on her purse snaps and the leather cracks. We both laugh hysterically for a brief moment. “Does she have any idea this is coming?”

“God, I hope not,” I cough. She surprised me with her question and I choke at the thought. “I’ve tried not to be obvious, but maybe I’m a bad actor. We’ve both been so busy that we’ve barely seen each other in the last few days.” She laughs at that comment, knowing that we are usually inseparable. She calls us ‘Siamese Twins: always connected at the hands and lips’.

We pull up to Gesu Catholic Church, and like an Angel waiting at the door, Ava runs to the car to greet us. She looks beautiful having spent the afternoon with my future sisters-in-law being pampered. I’m so glad that Abby is the only one I told about tonight. I decided not to tell Brooke or Cassee for fear that their excitement would give me away. I’ve watched them blow secrets before, and I can’t afford that to happen tonight.

We run through an hour long mass practice in less than thirty minutes. Why can’t they do that on Sundays? As we are walking down the aisle to leave after the final walk-through, everything is perfect here in this old church. Candles are lit by the front entrance, and the main lights are dimmed. Now is the moment.

I twirl her around on my finger several times to the organ music playing the recessional hymn. I release her and while she’s still spinning, I drop to one knee, knowing full well that Mat, Thiago and their fiancés are coming up close behind us. I’ve got the ring in my hand already. She finishes her last spin and her eyes widen in shock when she sees what I’m doing. We are right next to her mom and brother sitting in the pews. Yes, it’s perfect. No more butterflies.

“Ava, I always thought I would grow up living my life as an extremely happy, single man here in ‘Magic’ City, but until I met you, I had no idea what happy was.  I had no idea of the difference between love and lust. You’ve brought love, meaning and purpose to a man hiding behind his deflection and humor. If I could give you one gift in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes.  Then you would know how truly special you are to me. So, tonight in front of God and our families as witnesses, I ask you— Will You Marry Me?” My voice is no longer shaky, but strong and steady.

“Dante. Yes, of course I’ll marry you,” she says, and I slip the engagement ring onto her finger. Here’s one of the many reasons I love Ava— she didn’t even look at the ring. She was looking at me the whole time. Material possessions mean nothing to her, as long as she has her loved ones near her, she has it all.

“Oh, thank God,” Mat hollers. “Had I known about this ahead of time, I would’ve bet you a thousand dollars he would propose with a Fruit Loop as a ring. I’m so glad I didn’t know. Now there’s more money for our wedding.” He lifts up Cassee’s hand and kisses it. We all burst out laughing. Leave it to my brother to tease me during my wedding proposal.

I stand, and pick her up swinging her around and around, until we’re both dizzy and laughing.

“This is exactly how our life will be, happy with lots of laughter and surrounded by our family,” I say. Everyone circles us offering hugs, and the ladies all want to see Ava’s ring.

Thiago pats me on the back. “You did good li’l bro. She’s a great woman. Now c’mon, let’s go eat. Foods on me,” Thiago says.

“Finally. I’ve been waiting for the food to be on you for years,” I tease.

“I’m sure with your bottomless pit, this food bill will break me,” he complains laughingly.

“That’s okay, Thiago,” Ava chimes in. “Just feed him one standard meal. I’ll take care of the rest of his appetite later.” She winks at us both.

“Ava Marie!” Abby bellows. “You are still inside a church. Let’s leave the dirty talk to later. Much later...preferably when I can’t hear it.”

“Yes, Ava Marie,” I tease her, wrapping her up in my arms and stare at those big brown eyes that I love so much. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

She leans over and kisses her mother on her cheek. “As a matter of fact, I do.”

“I love you. I’ve always loved you,” I say. “I can’t believe I’m only just telling you that today. I feel like an idiot.”

“You’ve told me you love me every day in the way you give me your attention, the way you hold and kiss me, in the way you respect my mind and body,” she breathes. “It doesn’t matter if today is the first time those words have passed your lips. I’ve known all along from your actions.”

She has the patience of a Angel— for the heart of a sinner, my heart. I’m a different man on a better path because of her. I’ll spend the rest of my life being grateful for the second, third, and fourth chance she gave me, and the many chances that still might come because she already knows I’m not perfect.