I HELD TRUE TO my word and went to the library. I actually had a paper due in Medieval Art History the next week, so I was able to knock out the first draft, which left me feeling totally guilt free when I surfaced.
It was dark by the time I emerged from the building. I walked down the snow-powdered sidewalk, wrapping my cashmere scarf several times around my neck, shielding my mouth from the wind. My phone vibrated and I dug it out of my bag.
Pepper: Where r u?
Me: Headed back to room. Where r u?
Pepper: At Mulvaney’s w/ Reece. Join us?
My fingers hesitated over the keys. Crash their date? No thanks. I typed back.
Me: Think I’m just staying in.
Pepper: Kidding?
Shaking my head, I glanced up to make sure I didn’t walk into someone. Or a wall. The sidewalk stretched before me. Not a soul out.
Me: I’m fine. Just tired
Pepper: U need 2 eat
Me: I ate
The lie seemed easier. I would just grab a granola bar or cook up some popcorn in the microwave.
Pepper: Ok. Walk to class together in the morn?
Me: Sure
I didn’t bother to inquire if she was sure she would be spending the night in her dorm or even be around to walk to class together. The answer seemed obvious. She spent almost every night with Reece. I wouldn’t be surprised if he put a ring on her finger before graduation. Yeah, she was young, but there was something about them . . . about her and Reece together that made me believe they were in it for the long haul. The real deal. For some people it happened, I guess.
As happy as I was for her, it also hurt to know that nothing would ever be the same again for us. No late nights munching popcorn. No me dragging her away from studying to watch TV or go get a pizza. Those days were gone.
Pepper hadn’t brought the subject up, but we would have to put in our rooming requests for next year. I wondered if she wanted to even room with me and Georgia again. Since she and Reece hooked up, she practically lived at his place. Why not save the money and make it official by moving in with him? Pepper wasn’t like me with a father paying her way. She was forging her own way on a combination of student loans and scholarships. She worked, too. Babysitting gigs and part-time at a local daycare. Why should she waste money on a dorm room she hardly used anymore?
The idea that I might be losing her as a suitemate gave me a sharp pain in the chest. I rubbed at my sternum as if I could rid myself of the feeling. It was selfish of me. I should only be happy for her.
The night was quiet as I passed the quad. A white blanket of snow stretched across the lawn. Students, eager for the sun—and girls eager to show off their bikinis—would be sunbathing there in late spring regardless of the lingering chill in the air.
“Hey! Em!”
Looking up, I spotted Annie walking toward me. She was dressed to go out in a miniskirt and thigh-high boots. Her overcoat was open at the front to reveal a sweater that exposed her belly and a winking belly button piercing.
“Hi,” I greeted.
She wiggled her fingers at me like nothing was amiss between us. Like she hadn’t abandoned me at a biker bar. “Guess where I’m going tonight?”
I looked her up and down and resisted saying something snarky. Instead I settled on civil. “Where?”
“I happened to get an invite . . .” Her voice trailed off. She wiggled her eyebrows at me in a clear attempt to entice me to take a guess.
I stamped down my impatience. “Where?”
She leaned forward and held a hand up to her mouth and whispered loudly, “The kink club.”
I blinked. “You got an invite?” I didn’t know why this surprised me. I guess it was a hit to my ego. I had a reputation as being a wild party girl. How was it no one thought to invite me?
“Well. I met someone who is a regular. I’m headed to her dorm now. She can bring a guest. Who knows? Maybe they’ll let me join and then I can bring a guest.” She waved a finger at me suggestively.
A few months ago I’d be all over the suggestion of this. Now? I forced a smile. “Well, have fun tonight.”
“Oh, you better believe I will. I’ll give you a full report. What are your plans? Seeing that sexy beast from the bar again?”
I smiled weakly. “Uh, no.”
“No?” She shook her head, waiting for me to elaborate.
“I’m just staying in.”
She giggled. “No, seriously.”
I nodded. “Seriously.”
“Oh. Well. That’s different. Have . . . fun.”
“Night.”
She sashayed past me. There was no other word for what she was doing with her hips.
For once, I didn’t care that staying in was in direct opposition to the image I had created for myself. Even party girls needed a night off now and then. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I fished it out and frowned at the message staring back at me from an unknown number.
What are you doing?
I hesitated and then typed.
Who is this?
A single name popped up on the small screen.