––––––––

“Please tell me you’ll be here soon,” I whine into the phone the second I answer it.

“I’d already be there if I could be,” Hudson says, neither of us bothering with hellos.

He wrapped the tour with Travis Travers last Wednesday. It’s now Sunday and he still isn’t here. He thought he’d only have to be in Nashville for a couple of days but apparently an opportunity came up for him to work on a song with Annabelle, a pretty big name in country music. He couldn’t pass it up.

He found out yesterday that the label wants them to record a song together for an upcoming movie which means he’ll be in Nashville for at least a few more days.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to drive up there to see him but I know he’s really busy and I don’t want him to have the added pressure of worrying about me.

It hasn’t helped matters that I can’t stop thinking about him spending so much time with another woman. One who happens to be very talented and even more beautiful.

As soon as I found out he was recording with Annabelle, an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach and it has only magnified as the days have passed.

I trust Hudson. Truly I do, but I don’t think there’s a woman alive who wouldn’t be at least a little worried in my current situation.

“That doesn’t really make me feel much better,” I respond, shaking off the doubts that once again boil to the surface.

“I know, babe. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I get it. Really I do. I just miss you.”

“I miss you too.” He lets out a slow sigh. “I can’t talk long. We’re in the studio this afternoon trying to hammer out the last two verses on this song. I just needed to hear your voice.”

“Oh yeah?” I can’t help but smile.

“You inspire me, Lennon Claire.”

My heart flutters at his words.

“I do?”

“More than you know. Hang on, babe.”

I hear a female voice in the background moments before he muffles the phone. I can’t make out what they’re saying but if I had to guess I’d say it’s Annabelle. The thought somewhat dampers the happiness I felt moments ago.

“Sorry about that.” He comes back on the line after a few seconds. “I gotta get back inside. I’ll call you later?”

“Okay.” I try not to let him hear the disappointment in my voice though I’m pretty sure he does anyway.

“Lennon?” he pauses.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

—-

I’m getting ready to leave for work the next morning when a knock sounds against my door. Setting my travel mug of coffee on the breakfast bar, I quickly make my way to the door, pressing up on my toes to look out the peep hole.

The second I realize what I’m seeing, I rip open the front door. Hudson’s bright smile is the first thing that hits me.

“You’re here.” A wave of heat rises up my neck and spreads across my cheeks.

“We finished last night. I told you, Lennon Claire. You inspire me.” He steps inside and within seconds his mouth is on mine.

I feel like I haven’t seen him in so long. His taste, his touch, the way his tongue slides against mine overwhelms my senses.

Using his foot to kick the door shut behind him, he doesn’t dislodge from my mouth as he backs us into the room.

“I’ve thought about nothing but this mouth for weeks,” he growls, snagging my bottom lip between his teeth and biting gently.

“Just my mouth?” I pant, my skin prickling when he reaches down and snags the hem of my maxi dress, pulling the material up and over my head in one fluent movement.

“Well, among many other things.” He steps back enough to remove his own shirt. His eyes scan my body in one slow sweep all the way to my feet and then back up again causing me to tremble slightly. “Come here.” He lifts me into his arms, gently depositing me on the couch moments later.

“I’ve missed you so much,” I say as he peppers kisses down my neck and across my chest. Pulling my bra down, he cups one breast while his tongue swirls around the other before sucking my nipple into his mouth.

I arch my back and moan, able to feel the sensation of his mouth on me everywhere.

“I wanted to take my time with you, Lennon. But seeing you, feeling you, I need to be inside of you. Now.” He pulls back and works my panties down my legs.

“Yes.” He spreads me wide and slides two fingers inside of me, my body already so ready for him he glides in easily.

“Fuck.” He pumps his fingers through my folds a couple of times before pulling them out.

I whimper at the loss of him, but before I can fully voice my objection, he settles between my thighs, arching one of my legs around his hip while the other drapes over the back of the couch.

“This is gonna be hard and fast, Lennon,” he warns, unzipping his jeans just enough to free his erection from the confines of his clothing.

Not even bothering to take off his pants, he lines himself at my entrance and enters me in one hard thrust. We both cry out in unison. Hudson stills for a brief moment before pulling out and slamming back into me.

He establishes a fast, unforgiving pace. Our bodies slap together so violently the sound echoes off the walls around us.

I’m desperate for him. Clawing at his back, biting his shoulder, arching so he can give me all of him. He’s so deep.

My orgasm comes on hard and fast. It explodes inside of me and I cling to Hudson, afraid that without him tethering me to the earth I might simply float away.

It’s not long before Hudson also finds his release, spilling himself inside of me as my body still quakes around him.

Even though the entire ordeal lasted less than five minutes, we’re both spent, sweating and panting like we’ve been at it for hours.

Hudson drops his face to my neck, his heart pounding rapidly against my chest.

“Fuck I missed you.” He presses his lips against my pulse.

“Me too.” My hands find their way to his messy brown locks, tugging gently at the length.

Hudson pulls back and looks down at me, a slow smile forming on his mouth.

“You were going somewhere.”

“I’m not anymore.” You couldn’t drag me from this condo if you tried. Not when I’ve been waiting weeks to see this man.

“Work?” he guesses.

“I’ll text Emma.” I wait for him to move so I can get my phone but he makes no attempt to let me up. “I need up to do that.” I smile.

“Hold on. I want to feel you for a moment longer,” he says, still planted firmly inside of me.

“By all means,” I say, honestly in no hurry to lose the fullness of him.

“Better yet, you’d better call Emma. Because I’m taking your ass to bed and that’s where we’re gonna stay for the rest of the day.” He slowly slides out of me, tucking himself back in his pants as he stands.

“I think I like the way you think.”

—-

“How long before you have to leave again?” I ask the question I’ve been avoiding since this morning when Hudson showed up unannounced.

True to his word, after I called Emma, he threw me over his shoulder, locked me in my bedroom, and we have not come out since then.

Well except for a few minutes ago when I decided if I didn’t eat I might die. Even then I made us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and brought them back to my bedroom where we’re now sitting across from each other eating. I’ve been nibbling on the same sandwich for five minutes whereas Hudson is on his third.

“Seven weeks.” He drops his half eaten sandwich on the plate in front of him before his gaze slowly slides to mine.

“Seven weeks?” I question when he makes no attempt to explain.

“I’ll have to return to Nashville for a few days here and there but yes, you have me for seven weeks.”

“And what happens after seven weeks?” I ask, feeling like I can’t be happy about the time I’m going to get with him until I know what comes after.

“I go back on tour. This time it’s a co-headlining tour.”

“Wow. Your own tour.” I smile despite the growing dread in my belly, knowing how huge this is for him.

Hudson’s career has continued to skyrocket over the last few weeks. His fourth single debuted at number one on iTunes and his album has been sitting in the top ten for weeks. As thrilled as I am for him, it’s pretty intimidating for someone who is standing on the sidelines looking in.

“You said your co-headlining. With who?” I ask when he doesn’t offer the information up.

I have a gut feeling I already know the answer before he says it, as if the universe is somehow mocking me.

“Annabelle.” He studies me for a long moment, gauging my reaction.

“I see.” I nod, hating that this news bothers me as much as it does.

It’s one thing to deal with the fans and the thousands of women that would gladly step in and fill my shoes. It’s quite another to compete with someone like Annabelle.

Not only is she a tall, lengthy blonde with a set of pipes to rival the best singers out there, she’s also close to Hudson’s age and likely shares a lot of the same common interests as him.

They’ll be on the road together, spending countless hours together a day. They’ll be able to connect through their music and their shared struggles of being on the road. And while deep down I know I’m being irrational, I can’t help that this whole thing upsets me.

“And you leave in seven weeks? That seems like short notice for a tour. Don’t they need time to sell tickets? Book venues? They can’t just throw that all together in seven weeks.”

“They didn’t.” He picks up the plate between us and slides it onto the nightstand.

“I don’t understand. I mean, I know you said you would likely go back out on tour after Travis’s tour wrapped but you haven’t mentioned anything else until now. How long have you known about this?” I question.

“I didn’t know about the full tour. Only that we’d been booked for ten shows this fall.”

“So that’s the reason for the song you two recorded together.”

“Good publicity.” Hudson nods.

“So you said you knew about ten shows. How long is the full tour?”

“Eight months.” The second it leaves his mouth my chest starts to cave in on itself.

“Eight months?” I question, my voice breathy.

“It’s a ninety-two show tour.”

“Eight months?” My voice rises and emotion clogs my throat.

“Lennon, you knew this was coming.” He slides his hand along my bare knee in a soothing gesture. Only it doesn’t soothe me at all. In fact, it only serves to piss me off more.

“I did but I didn’t know you would be on the road for eight months with another woman.” I hate how childish and jealous I sound, but I can’t help it.

Fear chooses to present itself in many forms. Unwarranted jealousy being one of them.

“Lennon.” Hudson starts but stops when he meets my gaze.

“I thought you were going to start working on your new album?” I object, not really sure what I hope to accomplish by doing so. It’s not like he can just choose to cancel the tour because I’m having a hard time dealing with who he’ll be touring with.

“I’ll write on the bus and be back in the studio as soon as the tour wraps.”

“Will it always be like this?” I question, uncertainty coiling deep in my belly. Tears prick the back of my eyes. I quickly look down at my hands knotted in my lap, hoping to keep them at bay.

I’ve never been so emotional over a man before. It’s completely irrational and yet I can’t help but feel what I feel.

“This is what it means to be in the music business,” he gently explains, leaning forward to push my hair over my shoulder in an attempt to get me to look at him. “We started in a very weird place, Lennon. The first few years of a musician’s career are always the craziest. But that doesn’t mean we can’t make this work. We can. We just have to get more creative.”

“More creative?” I snort. “Meaning I give up my life to chase you around the country until one day you realize you don’t want me there anymore. And then what? I come back to nothing because I gave up everything for you?”

“I would never ask you to give up anything for me,” he insists, tipping my chin so I’m forced to meet his gaze.

“Well someone has to if this is going to work, Hudson,” I bite.

“That’s not true. We’ve been making it work for weeks now.”

“Have we?” I cock my head to the side. “Because all I feel like we’ve managed to make work is making each other miserable.”

“I make you miserable?” He draws back like I physically slapped him across the face.

“No, of course not. That didn’t come out right. But when I’m not with you I am miserable. And since we spend way more time apart than together...” I trail off.

“I know this isn’t easy for you. I know how I would feel if the roles were reversed. But I love you, Lennon. I’m so in love with you that some days it’s almost hard to breathe. I will not give up on us so easily. We will make this work because living without you is not something I’m willing to do.”

I let his statement sink in. Let it wash over me and drown out some of the fears and insecurities that have fueled this conversation. He’s right. I knew this was going to be difficult and yet I decided being with him was worth it.

Being with him is worth it.

“Why does it have to be with her?” I crinkle my nose and pout out my bottom lip dramatically, causing a low rumble of laughter in Hudson’s throat.

“Annabelle doesn’t hold a candle to you.” He snags my chin between his thumb and index finger as he leans in a lays a soft kiss to my mouth.

“You say that but you forget, I’ve seen her. She’s beautiful and talented and you wouldn’t have to worry about her not understanding or throwing a silly fit because you have a job to do.”

“I rather like watching you throw silly fits.” He smirks. “It means you care. I’d rather you throw a million fits than accept that we’ll be apart and be okay with it. Because I’m not okay with it. I know this is my career and I’m the one doing this, but I promise you, I don’t want to be away from you any more than you want me to be.”

“I’m scared,” I admit.

“I am too.” He gives me a soft smile. “But I have to believe that we can figure this out. I lost you once, Lennon Claire. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna lose you again.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” I reassure him. “Well, as long as I don’t walk in and find some girl in your lap, swallowing your face.” I poke fun at him.

“You know you’re the only girl I want swallowing my face,” he teases, leaning forward to wrap his hand around the back of my neck.

“My famous country star.” I smile, scratching my nails through his scruff.

“My inspiration.” He closes the distance between us, kissing me softly before dropping his forehead to mine. “I wanna play you something.” He releases me and quickly slides from the bed.

“Okay.” He grabs his guitar from the corner of the room where he dropped it before ravishing me.

Pulling it from the case, he slides the strap over his bare chest before climbing back into bed. He props up against the headboard and settles the guitar in his lap.

“I’ve been working on this for a while and I think I’ve finally got it right.”

“Is this something for the new album?” I ask, pulling the blanket into my lap.

“Maybe.” He shrugs. “I didn’t write it for anything specific. Like I said, you inspire me.” He slides his fingers gently across the strings, making sure the guitar is in tune before he starts.

“I’m still working out a few things so don’t judge me too harshly.” He grins, strumming out a few chords on the guitar.

It’s only a few seconds before I’m completely transfixed. The way his fingers move across the instrument so effortlessly, it’s like he was born to play it.

But then he starts to sing and I swear the whole world shifts beneath me.

I’ve seen him on stage, witnessed his power to enchant an entire audience, felt the goose bumps prick my skin at his incredible voice. But even through all that, nothing compares to this very moment.

His voice is a soft rasp, his eyes close as he loses himself to the song. I hold on to each word as it comes, my heart beating faster and faster until I feel like I can’t pull in a breath.

“I knew I loved you from that moment. From the first time your smile slid across your face. You were all I ever wanted. And I didn’t even know your name.”

Tears prick the back of my eyes and as hard as I try to fight them back, I can’t stop them from sliding down my cheeks in quick succession as Hudson continues to sing, his voice making my entire body stand to attention.

“You were the girl I never knew I needed. The one I hadn’t even realized I was looking for. And when your hand reached out and slid across my face, I knew that I’d never be able to walk away.”

He sings about loving someone so completely that he fears losing himself. About needing someone so much it terrifies him. And I realize in that moment he’s telling me he feels exactly the same way I do.

Scared. Vulnerable. Without control.

“Say you’ll stay. Say you’ll stay. Say you’ll stay.” He repeats the last chorus, growing softer and softer each time until his fingers go still against the guitar and his eyes slowly open.

“You’re crying.” It’s the first thing he says when our gazes lock. His voice a combination of concern and confusion.

“It was incredible,” I choke out in explanation.

“It’s about you.” He confirms what I already knew. “I’ve been adding to it little by little over the past few weeks. Anytime I think of you I sit down with my guitar and I swear the music just pours out of me. I’ve written a few different songs recently, but this one means the most. It’s the one I worked on at night while everyone else slept and I couldn’t think of anything but you. What you were doing. What you were thinking about. If you were sleeping or if like me, you were lying awake thinking of me.”

“If you’re trying to get me to cry harder, it’s working,” I tell him, emotion so thick in my chest it’s a wonder I can still speak.

“I need you to understand what you mean to me, Lennon. This isn’t just some passing thing. You’re it. You’re the one I want. I need you to know that and trust in me. Trust in us. I will always put you first, no matter what that means.”

“Stop talking.” I push up on my knees and crawl toward him, straddling his legs as I remove his guitar and gently set it on the floor.

“Lennon,” he starts but I press my fingers over his mouth.

“I said, stop talking.” I shake my head, scooting further up his lap until my face is hovering inches from his. “I can’t tell you how I feel in the form of a song. I can’t create something that wraps all my feelings into one and makes you feel every word of what I say. What I can do is tell you that I love you. I love you in a way I didn’t know was possible. In a way that scares the hell out of me. Yet fills me so full I feel like I might burst. I won’t lie and say I’m not scared of what the future holds. Because I am scared. But I’m also willing to fight for you with everything that I have. Because you, Hudson Demasi, are someone worth fighting for.” I move my hand from his lips and replace it with my mouth, showing him with my body what I hope I already convinced him with my words.