TORMOD STOOD WAITING for the warband at the edge of the loch, and when Diana and Raen emerged he scowled at her. “’Tis near dawn, Red. What have you–” He fell silent as he stared at the tartan-wrapped body Raen carried. “Who?”

“Seoc Talorc,” Raen said. The big man started to carry him into the stronghold, and then stopped as the Norseman took his burden. “Go gently with him,” he told Tormod.

Then he turned on his heel and strode into the castle.

“Leave him, lass,” Neac said as Diana started to follow. “He has to tell Lachlan about Talorc.” He rested his battle axe on his shoulder. “Come and drink with us.”

Diana nodded, but once in the great hall she couldn’t get down more than a sip of the chieftain’s whiskey. The rest of the warband also seemed uninterested in celebrating. Slowly they slipped away until only Neac remained with her.

“Ask what you will of me,” the chieftain said once he drained his first tankard. “’Twill pain Aber to speak of it.”

She decided to go for the big one first. “If the McDonnels are immortal, why did Seoc die?”

“We dinnae age, or grow sick, but we can be killed.” He tapped the back of his neck. “A blade here, or being burned to ash, or giving ourselves to the loch again.” He saw her expression. “If we dinnae change back, in time we lose ourselves in the water.”

Her stomach surged, and she emptied her whiskey into his. “I think Seoc wanted the undead to kill him. I saw him bow his head, like he wanted to make it easier for them.”

“What Talorc did was the only way a McDonnel can end his life with honor.” Neac looked down at his whiskey before he pushed it away. “It doesnae happen often, but in these last years some of the lads have given up hope. Seoc is not the first we’ve lost.”

Diana recalled the contempt on Seoc’s face as he had spoken against her joining the clan.

“Was it because of me?”

“’Twas Evander’s betrayal,” Neac said flatly. “The lad took it to heart. We all did. But I thought surely in time he would…” He waved a meaty hand. “Ah, it doesnae matter now. We’ve lost a brother, lass, and we’ll grieve for him.” He patted her shoulder. “I’m to bed.”

Diana carried their cups into the kitchen, and washed them in the dish basin before she hung them on the drying rack. She hadn’t known Seoc, and she had never done anything to drive him to commit suicide. So why did she feel as if someone had punched a hole through her chest?

She took the stairs to the upper hall, but hesitated outside the rooms she now shared with Raen. Pressing her hand against the door, she closed her eyes for a moment as she composed herself, and then went inside.

The big man stood looking down at the fireplace, and barely glanced at her as she came in.

“I am sorry I left you as I did,” he said. “I had to speak with the laird.”

“I know,” she said and heard the rasp of tiredness in his voice. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

His mouth twisted. “Never die.”

“Right. Anything else?”

The despairing look he gave her made Diana rush to him. He caught her and held her close. The weight of his sadness seemed to bear down on him as though it were crushing him into the floor.

“Come to bed,” she murmured.

Raen lifted her off her feet and carried her into their bed, where he lay with her at his side. For a long time he just stared up at the canopy, and she held onto him.

“The Talorc’s tribe and mine were enemies for a long time. ’Twas why Evander and I disliked each other, I think. We couldnae let go of the old grudges, but Seoc did. He never said an unkind word to me.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I should have guessed he would do this. I nearly did the same myself. Many times.”

“What?” Diana said. She pushed away from him and rolled out of bed. “You wanted to kill yourself? Why?”

“After Bradana, I thought…no matter.” He sat up and held out his hand. “Come here.”

“No,” she said and turned her back on him as she tried to get control of her temper. “Look, I’m sorry about your murdered wife, but you can’t think like that. Ever.”

“Diana,” he said gently. He came up behind her, and tried to put his arms around her. “’Twas not Bradana. You cannae understand–”

“And you think you do?” She spun around and gave him a hard shove. “My God, wasn’t dying once enough for you? How dare you even think about it? You have forever to live.”

“Aye,” he said quietly. “But I didnae have her to be with me, and I willnae have you.”

For Diana, that was the last straw. “You know, you’re right. I don’t get it. I may not be older than dirt like you, but hell if I’d ever let a guy shove a sword through my neck just because I’m lonely and scared and don’t have anybody to take care of me. I’ve always been that, and I take care of myself, just fine.”

Raen held up his hands as if she were pointing her Glock at him. “I dinnae mean to fight with you.”

Diana backed away before she slapped him. “Life is a gift. Right this minute there are people dying all over the world. Men, women, children, little babies. People who I’m fairly sure would give anything for more time to live. Meanwhile, your not-so-great pal Seoc throws away an immortal life tonight because, what, his jerk of a cousin embarrassed him? Please. That’s not only tragic, it’s disgusting. It spits in the face of every person on this planet who died and didn’t want to.”

He studied her face. “I heard you when you told Cailean that your mother killed herself. That her death put you in the care of others who hurt and starved you. ’Tis natural for you to abhor what Seoc did.”

Diana stared at him, as all the fight went out of her.

“Sorry,” she said quietly. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Again.” She dragged her hand over her hair. “I’ll go sleep in the tower tonight.”

Raen held out his hand. “The bed there isnae big enough for both of us. I will sleep on the floor beside it if you wish, but ’tis cold tonight, and I may catch a fever.”

“You don’t get sick,” she muttered but took his hand and let him guide her back to their bed. “I can make you hot, if you want, but I think we’re both too miserable.”

“I have another idea, lass.” Once he pulled the covers over them he tugged her close. “I will hold you, and rub your back the way you like. In the morning I will kiss you awake, and then, if you willnae hate me for it, we can make each other hot.”

“I can’t hate you,” Diana said and looked into his eyes. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

“I’ll catch you with my heart when you do,” he said and kissed her brow. Then smiled as he stroked his hand over her belly. “Close your eyes, and let me make you feel good.”

Diana reluctantly obeyed, but instead of turning her over to get at her back he slipped his hand into her trousers. With his other hand he eased her leg up, draping it over his as he glided his fingers between her thighs.

“Touching you makes me feel better,” he murmured. “You are not a soft wench, but you are here, and so pretty.”

When he began circling her clit with his thumb while he pressed two fingers into her pussy, Diana lost herself in the sweet heat of the sensations.

“Raen,” she whispered.

“Shhh,” he said as he came around her, pushing her onto her back and stripping off her trousers. “Let me have you.”

“I want you, too,” she assured him. Slowly she shifted her legs apart. “Nothing hurts when I’m with you. But I wish I could make you feel the same way.”

“Be with me, and you will,” he said and settled between her thighs and spread her folds.

Watching him put his mouth on her was almost as heavenly as feeling his tongue sliding against her. He didn’t attack her sex or try to make her come quickly, but took his time as he kissed and licked and touched every delicate inch of her. She soon started squirming under his lips, her hips lifting and jerking as he made her want more. When he penetrated her with his tongue she fisted the bed linens, and when he sucked her clit she came with whimpering, shaking helplessness.

Diana opened her eyes to see him moving up over her, and wrapped her arms around him. “You make me forget that I was ever alone.”

“Never remember it,” he said and moved onto his side, holding her against him as he stroked his hand over her hair in a soothing caress. “You are with me now, my lady.”

Watching his eyes, she reached for his trousers and released his engorged shaft. “You don’t have to do anything, just feel this.” She began stroking him gently, and sighed when he covered her breast with his hand. “Your hands feel so good on me. Let me give you some of that.”

Raen’s eyes darkened as he tenderly caressed her. “Always I want your touch.”

It took only a few more strokes before his head fell back and he uttered a deep groan. Diana tightened her grip and increased the speed of her strokes until he began to ejaculate. Then they lay there, gazes locked, hearts pounding, and for all the sadness of the day there was a quiet joy now that made her want to weep.

“He wouldn’t be mad at us for this,” she said.

Raen tucked her against him. “Seoc wouldnae have minded at all. He loved bedding women, and they him.” He shut his eyes. “Damn him.”

“I know,” she said and kissed his chin. “Let’s sleep.”