4
Kess
—
Death itself was not the thing that people feared.
It was the lack of knowledge of what happened after. What they feared was their existence being wiped clean. That there was no life after death.
Kess never believed in an afterlife. He figured that if one came from the darkness as a babe, in death, one returned to that darkness and lack of existence. He supposed that was why he excelled during his years at the academy and then in his police work. He’d accepted the inevitable that he’d come into existence to play his part. Then he would leave when the gods decided he’d done enough. Thus, he’d play his part exceptionally so that when he no longer existed in corporeal form, he’d at least exist in the memory of others.
His brother, Riva, believed in an afterlife. Whereas Kess considered himself the realist, his brother had a fondness for daydreams. Riva's imagination was limitless. He believed that the afterlife was a beautiful, mystical land where one would bask in the presence of the gods, acquire their vast knowledge of the universe, and become a god as well.
So when Kess blinked open his eyes and saw the drab white ceiling above him, he wondered if both he and Riva had been wrong all this time. Perhaps the afterlife wasn’t absolute darkness or a fantastical land. Perhaps it was far worse: a dull place where one was trapped for eternity.
“Welcome back to the living.”
Shielding his eyes from the abrupt brightness, Kess turned his head in the direction of the soft voice. He found the human female seated in a chair. Dropping his hand to his side, he shifted his gaze away from her. He took in his surroundings and recognized it immediately since he’d spent several days here before.
He was lying in a bed in the palace hospital.
He was alive.
He struggled to sit up. The human stood and attempted to help him, but shrunk away when he glared at her. There was a dull ache in his shoulder and in the stab wounds he’d received from the Muridian attack. Quite unlike these past several months where the sharp pains of the stab wounds made him swallow more than the normal amount of tabs.
More so, he felt stronger somehow. Almost close to how he used to be before the attack on Pheor. But how could that be when just before he fell unconscious, he was certain he was on the cusp of death?
He pinned the human in his sights, taking in her beautiful face. The stark light in the room caught in her golden hair and made her blue-grey eyes luminous.
“Why am I here?” His voice came out gravelly and harsher than he’d intended. His hair hung free from its usual tie, the ends grazing his shoulders. He pushed wayward strands back from his face.
“Because I brought you,” she said. “Well, Suri did. After you passed out, she showed up and—”
“Why am I alive?” he cut in.
“Because Zezvar isn’t just a medic. He’s a magician too.”
She smiled, the action a little too tight at the corners of her lips. She took a step back toward the chair and shifted her gaze away from his. Modern technology had provided accurate methods to tell if an individual was lying. However, as an erstwhile Union Police officer, Kess had honed his perceptiveness over the years.
Her distancing body language spoke volumes.
He scowled. “What are you hiding?”
He swung his legs off the side of the bed. Even standing, she was such a petite creature in comparison to him. He stood, clinging to the edge of the bed when his legs temporarily refused to cooperate. He realized, belatedly, he was naked when the sheet slid from his body to hang off the bed. He thought about covering himself, but decided it would work in his favour to rattle her. Get the truth out of her. After all, he’d heard about humans and their strange, prudish ways. They favoured viewing violence and gore over seeing something as natural as bared flesh.
Her gaze dropped below his navel before she raised her eyes to his once more. Red suffused her creamy skin, but she didn’t retreat from him like he’d anticipated.
“I’m not hiding anything,” she said. There was a slight waver in her voice, but a determined look in her eyes. “It’s just hard for me to tell you what happened, and the procrastinator in me is saying I should delay it for as long as I can.”
Despite himself, the corners of his mouth twitched in mild amusement.
“Why?”
She rubbed her lips together. “Because of how you’re going to react.”
He frowned. “Human, I have no patience for guessing games. Tell me—”
“I’m pregnant.”
His eyebrows knit together in confusion. “How is this relevant?”
“Because the baby is yours, Kess.”
Stunned, Kess stared at her as if she’d grown an extra head or if she’d suddenly began shouting at the top of her lungs in some gibberish language he’d never known existed. His brain didn’t have room to question how she knew his name. Instead, it struggled to pick from the multitude of questions that had cropped up due to her unbelievable claim.
“Zezvar said you were dying but that…” Her voice faltered yet she carried on. “He said there was a cure. A way to save you. Blood from a Dava baby formed through kainaan once the essence was implanted into the mother.” She licked her lower lip, her gaze unblinking. “You risked your life to save mine, and a mere thank you could never have been enough to repay you. So I… I… decided to return the favour.”
Thick, heavy silence settled between them. After Riva, all he’d sought, all he’d lived for was revenge. Of course, he’d shared his bed with women when the moment arose, but he'd pushed all thoughts of love and building a family to the back of his mind. He didn’t have the time or the capacity to be someone’s mate or someone’s father. The thought used to leave him discontent with his life, but with time, he’d come to accept that this was the way it should be.
Being alone was for the best.
And now this human female had come trampling into his life. Her admission like a bludgeon destroying that wall of cold acceptance within which he’d fortified himself.
“Please say something,” she said, visibly worried. As she should be.
“How could you have done this?” The words came out harsh, reflecting his climbing outrage. Anger strengthened him, gave him mobility. He released his grip on the bed’s edge and advanced on her.
“You would have died,” she said, her tone defensive. “I couldn’t let that happen. Not after what you did for me.”
“That was not your choice to make,” he spat. “Whether I lived or died should not have been your concern. What you did was not only foolish but incredibly selfish.”
“Selfish?” she glared up at him. “What I did affects me too. I did it to save your life, but my life has been changed forever.”
“And yet, you made this decision of your own free will.” His voice came out low and deadly. He grabbed hold of her upper arms, looming over her. The anger in her eyes transformed into fear and she tried to squirm free from his grasp.
“Let me go.”
“You took something from me.” His grip tightened on her upper arms as he dragged her closer. “You took away my choice, my essence, and my independence. And I’m going to make sure you repay me for each one of them.”
He pulled her right up against him and brought his head down to claim her mouth in a rough, punishing kiss. She froze for a brief moment before she fought him, pushing her hands against his chest and twisting her face away from the kiss. He released her arm and fisted strands of her long hair, holding her head in place as he kissed her again. He forced his tongue into her mouth and the instant it touched hers, all the fight in her died away. A soft whimper escaped her and the sound sent an arrow of lust that was hotter than his fury straight to his groin.
He released her abruptly and she staggered away from him. Her features mimicked the confusion roiling within him. A myriad of emotions battled for supremacy. Shame for how he’d treated her, anger for what she’d done, and the intense desire he felt for her despite it all.
“Leave,” he commanded.
She spun, running out of the room and away from him.