FIFTEEN
Much later, after they recovered and ate some more of the roasted meat, they lay together on the soft moss in their cave. Lihvan couldn’t seem to stop touching her. And even though they were both messy, covered in the aftermath of their play, Beks had never been more content and happy.
She was falling in love with him every moment it seemed. A giant nosedive. While a part of her worried what that meant when they were eventually rescued from this planet, the other part told her to figure it out once she crossed that bridge.
For now, she was enjoying her time with him.
They were talking now. Even though the sun was high in the sky and they should’ve been doing more practical things, they were lounging around in their warm cave and talking on their moss bed. It felt natural, right.
He was telling her more about what he called ‘military training,’ that Luxirian warriors were sent from home to attend it from a young age and had to complete a required number of ‘rotations’ before deciding to opt out—and go onto another profession—or stay in and finish the training. Lihvan had not only finished the training, but he’d been promoted to war general and Ambassador to their Prime Leader once he was done. It spoke of his determination, his drive, his skill, and it impressed her more than she could express.
In turn, she told him about Chicago, of her work for a start-up company as a front end web developer, which he seemed impressed by after she tried to explain some more specifics.
“Is that why you could break out of my quarters on the vessel so easily?” he murmured, gazing down at her. There was a fine sheen of sweat on his body as she snuggled closer.
“That was mostly by luck,” she said, smiling. “Lots of buttons were pressed.”
Lihvan smiled and she realized that it was the first time she’d seen it. It melted her, that smile.
She watched it fall off his face, however, as he said, “Your mother and sire must be worrying about you. Back on your home planet.”
Beks sighed. “My father left when I was just a baby. I never knew him. And my mom and I are…estranged. I haven’t seen her in person for a few years. She lives a few states away and well, we’ve never been too close. If someone reported me missing though, she probably has been notified by now.”
It made her sad, her relationship with her mother. It had never been a hostile, argumentative relationship. They were just both so different and her mother had never been a mothering type. Beks believed in experiencing different things, putting herself out there, meeting new people, living.
Her mother had always been scared of everything. She lived in the same one-bedroom apartment, in the same town she’d grown up in, working the same job she had for the past thirty years, a cashier at a local deli. She’d never traveled out of the state, never dated, and the most exciting food she’d probably ever tried was orange chicken at the local Chinese place.
And still, that had always been okay with Beks. Her mother didn’t like change. She understood that. But what she had never understood was that she had no ambition. She never wanted anything more for herself and she’d always criticized Beks for the decisions she’d made. For going off to college out-of-state, for choosing Chicago over moving home, for taking five months off to go traveling in South America and Europe.
Beks had never regretted her choices. Ever. She’d met amazing people, she’d learned amazing things. But ever since she’d left home, her mother had slowly and gradually drifted out of her life until the only contact they ever really had was a stilted phone call every now and again.
Now, she may never see her mother again.
She told Lihvan all these things. They came pouring out of her and when she was done, she wondered what he thought of her, if he judged her for not being closer to her mother and for being okay with the distance between them. It was an ugly part of her, but she’d accepted it a long time ago.
When she was finished, he simply told her, “I was never close to my sire. After my mother died, he fell apart. I hate to say this, but I became ashamed of him. He became a shadow of who he used to be and when he died, I felt a bitter relief. It is difficult to see your parent in a different light as you age, but it is inevitable, luxiva.”
“What happened to them?” she asked quietly. “How did they die?”
“My father took his own life. My mother was killed when the Jetutians spread a virus among our female population.”
“What?” she whispered, eyes widening.
He continued slowly, “Most of our females died that span. The rest that survived…they became infertile. Our race would have been doomed, but with Vaxa’an’s mate pregnant, it gives us hope again.”
Beks pushed up on her elbow to look down at him. “That was a lot you just told me, Lihvan,” she said quietly. She shook her head, trying to process everything. “First…your father killed himself?”
“Tev.”
Tev? That was all he was going to say?
He must’ve read the expression on her face because he added, “My mother and sire were a mated pair. A fated pair. It may seem odd in your culture, but among Luxirians, it is not uncommon for one to follow the other when death claims the first. It was hard for him. He struggled greatly and in the end, he simply wanted to be with her again, in the blackworld.”
Oh my God, she thought, feeling an intense sadness bubble up inside her. And then she thought about Lihvan, about what he’d said at the fire falls.
She was his fated mate. That was what he told her.
But he also promised to return her to Earth when they reached Luxiria.
So where did that leave him?
“And the other thing?” she asked softly. “The Jetutians? Those were the ones who took you and I?”
“Tev.”
“And they…killed off your women? Your mother being one of them?”
He jerked his head in a nod.
“Lihvan,” she breathed, running her hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was more than ten rotations ago,” he said, watching her. “We may never recover from the attack, but we will rebuild as best as we can. Our doctors are trying to help the remaining females. To see if there is a way to reverse the virus’ effects.”
“But there are no young children on Luxiria?” she questioned.
“Nix. None. Vaxa’an’s offspring will be the first to be born since the virus, provided the pregnancy goes well. Our doctors monitor her quite carefully. It will be the first hybrid young and we do not know what to expect.”
Beks went quiet after that, processing everything he’d told her. She’d judged their leader’s action, partaking in the Pit, too harshly it seemed. He’d been looking for a mate to produce children with, so that their race might survive. Perhaps the Pit hadn’t been the best option, but even Beks could understand the reasoning.
“And she’s happy?” Beks asked, wanting to know about the Prime Leader’s mate. “On Luxiria?”
Lihvan stroked his hand across her bare back. “Tev. She chose to stay.”
Beks was beginning to understand why she had. If this woman’s mate was anything like Lihvan…well, it only made sense. Because she was starting to think that whenever they got to Luxiria…Beks wouldn’t be able to walk away from him.
“Can I ask you something?” she murmured quietly, a stray thought entering her mind. And she wanted to ask it before she lost her nerve.
“Tev.”
“You said before that you’d never taken a…a Breeding partner. Why not?” she asked. There was no doubt in her mind that women on his planet were probably trampling each other trying to get to him. Yet, he’d never chosen one of them? “I mean, you just told me that your…females are infertile now. But why not before the virus? Were you too young?”
Lihvan went still, but his breaths were even. “Nix, I was of age before the virus spread.”
“Did your…Instinct not choose one for you?”
“Nix, it did. Usually every rotation, leading up to the virus, it chose a Breeding partner for me.”
Jealousy cut through her, but she tried to swallow it as best as she could. “But you never took one…to have children with?”
Lihvan exhaled a sharp breath and said simply, “I have never mated with a female before.”
Shock made her lips part. “What?”
He was…a virgin?
His features were grim, studying her. All the while, Beks was trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with Luxirian women.
“I will admit,” he murmured, “that it is abnormal for a Luxirian. Sex is important in our race. Most take their first female before the midway point of military training.”
“But not you?”
“Nix,” he said quietly. “Females tend to think I am…”
He searched for the right word, but Beks supplied it for him, “Intense?”
He cocked his head a little, but jerked it in a nod. “Yes. My horn does not help. Or my scar,” he said, touching his cheek.
“I don’t mind them at all,” she said, leaning up to kiss the path he’d just traced. Teasing, she whispered, “I think they’re sexy.”
That smile returned. “Perhaps that is why you are covered in my scent, luxiva.”
He was flirting with her.
Gawd, this alien…this virgin alien that she very much wanted to do all kinds of nasty, sexy things to…
Beks rested her cheek on his chest, sighing. Her eyes traced over his muscles before tracking to his arm. Her brow furrowed and she frowned when she saw little blue veins extending out from the bottom of the moss gauze she’d placed there the previous night.
“Lihvan, let me see your arm,” she said, sitting up, the mood suddenly shifting.
His gaze cut to her before looking down at the veins. He waved his hand and urged her to lie back down. “It is how we heal, female.”
“But, Lihvan—”
“You should rest,” he said, cutting her off. “Later, I can take you to go bathe. Tev?”
Beks blew out a breath and nodded. He didn’t seem concerned about his arm and as she looked over him, she saw the multitude of scars across his body. He knew his body better than she did.
“Okay,” she said. “Let’s rest.”
* * *
But as the day wore on, after they’d woken from a brief nap, after they boiled more water, and collected more moss and fire fuel, Beks was beginning to think that Lihvan was lying to her.
Even after the sun descended in the sky, there was a fine sheen of sweat on his body. His skin didn’t take on the golden light from the fire, as it did most nights. Instead, it was a dull bronze. And those blue veins underneath his gauze were still spreading.
Finally, she put her foot down, after many attempts to let her take a look at his wound.
“Lihvan, show me now,” she said. They had just finished up what was left of the roasted meat, except she couldn’t help but notice that Lihvan hadn’t finished his share. “I’m serious.”
Her heartbeat was pounding in her throat and the bad feeling that had been sneaking up on her all day made her feel like she would choke.
His eyes had taken on a glassy look in the past few hours and they regarded her closely. Finally, he held out his left arm to her and with panic churning in her stomach, she gently unwound the moss gauze with trembling hands.
Her lips pressed together when she saw the wound.
“It’s infected, isn’t it?” she whispered, staring, tears beginning to pool in her eyes.
But there was no doubt about it.
The edges where the thread held his wound closed were inflamed and seeping. The dark blue veins she’d spied from afar grew in width the closer they came to the slash and his skin felt hot to the touch. It looked worse than when she’d stitched it together.
“What can I do?” she asked, her eyes darting up to his. “What can I do to help you?”
“Luxiva…” he trailed off with a sharp exhale and her heart dropped.
“You knew it was infected this morning, didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It had already set in. I felt it setting in during the night,” he admitted quietly. “There is nothing we can do but let it run its course. I did not wish for you to worry.”
“Did you think you could hide this from me?” she asked, tears spilling over her cheeks. This was dangerous. They had no medicine, no help. What would an infection this gruesome do to him? “Lihvan…oh my God, I feel like this is my fault.”
His brows drew together. “Of course it is not your fault.”
“M-maybe I didn’t boil the moss long enough to kill all the bacteria. Maybe I didn’t flush it out right.”
He cradled her face in his hand, leaving his other arm in her lap. “You did not do this, luxiva. I was the one who made an error during the hunt. Without proper supplies…it would have been lucky for the wound not to become infected. It was most likely inevitable.”
Her forehead met the crook of his neck. His body felt hot, damp.
“What are we going to do?” she asked.
“Wait,” he replied. “That is all we can do. Earlier this morning, I placed hunting markers throughout this area. Luxirians will recognize them. If they scout out anywhere near here, the markers will lead them right to the cave.”
He’d planned this. He knew that he’d become ill…possibly too ill to do anything. And still, he’d made preparations. Just in case.
“Lihvan…” she whispered.
“They will find us, Beks,” he said. “The Fates will lead them here. I know it.”