Chapter Thirty
They stayed in the Pack house for almost a month until things had settled down enough for them to return to their house. They took Casey and Duncan with them. Ben knew Ro and Seb were keen to play a part in raising the boys but with Nathan still so young and Ro expecting his second child, it made sense for the boys to come home with them.
Noah had gone from strength to strength since they’d got him home. James had sent over a play therapist, Melanie, who worked with some of the kids Fenrir’s Warriors had rescued. She was human but well versed in the shifter world. Noah got on with her like a house on fire, given their shared love of coloring and wooden blocks.
She saw Duncan and Casey, too. While Duncan seemed in awe of her, Casey didn’t take to her one bit. Adam hadn’t taken to Kelly, the art therapist, either. James had a few other names up his sleeve and Ben was hopeful they’d find someone for both of them.
They’d only been back in their house for a week when Adam tracked him down in the garden one morning. It was clear his mate was upset, pacing back and forth beside him.
“Adam?”
“This isn’t a good time. We’ve only just got the kids settled, and we’ve got four to look after instead of two and they need so much from us.”
“Adam!”
The Omega turned to him. “It’s early.”
“What is?” Though Ben could guess the answer from Adam’s scent alone.
“My heat.”
Bad timing indeed.
“Okay, well, we’ll manage. The kids can go back to the Pack house. We’ll divide our time between here and there as best we can to keep their routine. It’ll all be okay.”
His words didn’t soothe his distressed mate.
“But I really wanted a baby.”
They’d wanted a baby. It had been their plan before the situation with Gray Valley had become so urgent. They felt the twins were old enough and they were ready to go again. But it was like a decade had passed since that conversation, instead of just a few months.
“Well, what do you want to do?” Ben wasn’t sure where the conversation was going, hadn’t given a thought to something he believed was months ahead of them.
“It would be selfish, wouldn’t it? We have two already and they’re still so young. And Duncan, too. Casey’s in the middle of puberty and he’s had such a rough time of it. It wouldn’t be fair to bring a baby into this.”
“But you still want one?”
He nodded, his face a mask of misery. Ben held him close, feeling the fast beat of Adam’s heart. He gave himself a minute to think about it, to really think. He’d been so certain of his feelings a few months ago. And now?
“So do I. So let’s do this together.”
“Even if it’s twins again?”
Ben laughed and kissed Adam’s cheek. “We should be so lucky.”
Ro and Seb came over to collect the kids. Ben had half expected tantrums but other than a few questions from Noah, and Casey giving them some curious glances, they hopped easily into the car as Ben and Adam waved them off.
“I could ask Alicia to sedate me through it,” Adam suggested as the car drove out of view.
“Risking your life and health in the process? No, Adam, that is not an option.” Ben turned to his mate, shaking his head.
“It’s my choice-” His blue eyes flashed with anger.
“Our choice. We’re in this together, remember?”
Adam grumbled something under his breath.
“Was it really so bad the last time?” Ben asked, trying to inject some levity into the conversation.
“You know it wasn’t. I always enjoy my heats.”
“So why will this be any different?”
Adam huffed, his shoulders falling. “I just feel so guilty leaving the boys…”
“They seemed happy to be on their way to Seb’s. Plus, we’ll go there for dinner tonight and be there for their bedtime. And first thing tomorrow when they get up. It’s not like we won’t see them for three days straight.”
Adam still didn’t look convinced.
“We need this, Adam, both of us. There’s still a space between us. I don’t want it to be filled with guilt or anger. I want to fill it with love, with our bond.”
“Make up sex is the best sex,” his mate said out of the blue.
Ben laughed, catching Adam’s hand and tugging him towards the house. “There is that, too. We’ve had enough fights to know.”
Adam gave in, letting Ben guide him into the house.
“You’re overdressed,” he complained, taking in Ben’s jeans and t-shirt.
“All in good time, Adam. You’re always so impatient.”
“You’re one to talk. You want everything done five minutes ago.”
“Not this. I plan to take my time.”
Adam felt unexpectedly shy when they got to the bedroom. It wasn’t like they hadn’t done this hundreds of times before. It wasn’t like Ben didn’t already know every inch of his body. Under Ben’s hands he’d learned to love sex. From the simplicity of how good it felt, to the complexity of what it meant for him and Ben and the new lives it had given them.
But he and Ben had said things, done things, that had pushed them further apart that they’d been since they’d mated. How to close that distance and let go of the hurt?
Ben pulled his shirt off and Adam’s thoughts fell away, leaving nothing but his wonderment at how gorgeous his mate looked. Broad shoulders, firm muscles, every inch of him giving the impression of strength. He turned and Adam stepped forward, reaching out a hand and letting it rest over Ben’s heart.
His Alpha was right. It would be sex that brought them together again. From their first kiss to that last gasp of breath before they came.
When Ben reached for the hem of his shirt, he raised his arms and helped the Alpha tug it up and off. Ben drew him closer, his hands on Adam’s back, one sliding down along his spine as the other found that spot at the back of his neck and kneaded it gently. Adam moaned as the first wave of sensation washed over him, crowding closer to Ben, reaching for the waistband of his jeans.
“Slower, Adam, there's no rush.”
“Maybe not for you, some of us are on a timetable here,” he joked back.
Ben captured his chin in one hand, tipping his head up until his mate's dark eyes met Adam's blue.
"You want to go hard and fast?" he asked.
Adam nodded eagerly. Later there'd be time for the slow, sensual joining of their bodies. Right then, he just wanted Ben inside him, wanted to feel his body stretched around the Alpha as Ben gave as good as he got. It was the work of moments to discard the rest of their clothes then Ben was lifting Adam, urging him to wrap his legs around Ben's waist. Ben carried him from the bedroom into the bathroom, setting him down on the floor. The tiles were cool beneath his feet as the Alpha urged his head up again, their lips meeting.
Adam pressed closer, standing on his tiptoes and deepening the kiss until they were both breathless.
Ben spun him around so he was facing the counter, the mirror, and it took him right back to the moment they’d bonded. How fast the years had flown since, how much had changed. But not this.
He let Ben lean him forward to press his upper body against the cool surface, propped up by his elbows, his eyes watching his Alpha through the mirror. Of all the ways they’d had sex, this position was still his favorite.
Ben’s body bent over him, his chest to Adam’s back, and he kissed Adam’s neck, sucking the skin hard enough to have Adam gasping.
When he let go, he straightened, his hands going to Adam’s hips, urging his legs wider.
“I remember the first time I saw your eyes,” Ben said. “My heart started to race and my senses sharpened, all of them focused on you. My wolf knew you were mine.”
The Alpha held his gaze through the mirror as he pushed inside in one smooth thrust. Hard and fast, just like he’d promised. Ben rocked out and in again, pacing himself and not giving Adam more than he could handle. His hands held Adam’s hips steady as he thrust.
Adam’s body sang at the feel of the Alpha within him. His heat washed over him, taking him to heights he’d never imagined until he met Ben.
The Alpha grunted with effort as he quickened his pace, but his eyes never left Adam’s. Pleasure was building within him, gathering like a storm in the distance.
“Ben,” he gasped out and the Alpha reached a hand forward, lacing their fingers together.
His thrusts became erratic, his fingers tightening against Adam’s and he pushed forward, pressing his mouth against Adam’s neck.
Adam realized what he was about to do a moment before it he did it, Ben stilling inside him as he came, carrying Adam over the edge with him. As pleasure crashed over him in waves, the Alpha bit down on the soft skin of his neck. He cried out, the pain only serving to heighten the pleasure, wringing every last drop of ecstasy from him. He sank against the counter, watching Ben lazily through the mirror, the Alpha’s hands soothing along his body as he trembled with little aftershocks of pleasure.
Ben eased out of him before helping him up, turning him so they were face to face.
“Okay?”
A slow smile spread across his face at the question that, on the surface, was so simple.
“Okay,” he replied and they kissed again, slow and sensual, lips pressed together before Adam yielded, parting his and letting Ben’s tongue taste his.
He hummed with satisfaction and they slowly pulled apart, Ben’s arms holding up his suddenly weary body.
The Alpha picked him up with ease and carried him into the bedroom, laying him down on the bed before settling himself right next to him. They drifted to sleep with Adam’s head on Ben’s chest. He knew it wouldn’t be for long, could already feel the insistent need of his heat building again, but he no longer feared it.
Afterward they lay together, paying no heed to the time passing. Adam drew a criss-cross pattern on Ben’s chest, above his heart.
“I think we should visit Gray Valley.”
Though he knew it would seem out of the blue to Ben, it wasn’t. He’d had it on his mind since they’d rescued Noah.
“They don’t need me there, Adam.”
“A stable Pack needs an Alpha line. With Terrance and his family gone, they don’t have one.”
“That doesn’t mean it should be ours.”
“I know and that isn’t why I want us there. I think we should go and visit. Show them our family.”
Though Ben’s reply was soft, his voice was strained. “Why Adam, why dig up the past like that?”
“It’s not about the past. It’s about the future. Show them who and what you are now. An Alpha, who has left the past behind. Who has a mate and children. After years of living under the Porter’s rule, they need to see what life in other Packs looks like. They’re looking for choice now, for strength, for stability. You are all those things. We just need to show them.”
Before Ben could reply, Adam pressed ahead with what he wanted to say.
“I don’t mean that we should just up sticks and move there. I think we should start to form connections with them. With your family, with old friends. They were your family’s Pack. They were your Pack until they kicked you out. Build bridges and maybe, in the future, there will come a time when it’s right for us to go and live there.”
“The time may never be right.”
“Then we’ll always have each other, our children, and Glenoak. You can’t heal from the past by ignoring it. I think we’ve both learned that.”
“Hell of a way to learn that lesson,” Ben said, and Adam knew he was thinking of Noah and their confrontation with Tobias. “Sometimes it feels like we learn all our lessons the hard way. But we can make it easier for the boys, they won’t have to go through what we went through.”
“And we did that, we saved them from that. By finding each other. By coming here, to Glenoak. We’ve made mistakes, but we’ve made a lot of good choices, too,” Adam spoke in earnest, wanting to chase away every last shadow on Ben’s face.
“You were the best choice I have ever made,” Ben replied, cupping Adam’s cheek and kissing him. Adam melted into his embrace, knowing no more words were needed between them.