‘Louisa, look at me,’ Beth says, trying to get me to concentrate. She’s sitting where Locke was sitting only a few moments ago, her blue eyes concerned yet focused. ‘You’re white as a ghost. When did you last eat?’

‘I don’t know. I’m not hungry.’

‘You need food, or you’re going to keel over. Here.’ She reaches into her bag and offers me a granola bar.

I screw up my nose and shake my head.

‘Eat it,’ she says in a tone that brooks no argument.

I take it from her, tear the wrapper and take a bite. It’s like chewing sweet cement, but I force myself to swallow.

She pushes the cup of water towards me, and I take a swig. ‘Now, tell me what happened,’ she says. ‘From the start. Don’t leave anything out.’

‘Even the Darcy stuff?’ I ask. ‘The things I told you before.’

‘Tell me everything. Especially the Darcy stuff.’

I slide the unfinished granola bar onto the table and start to speak. My throat is already dry and swollen from too much talking, but I do my best to be rational and clear, to not become hysterical. When I’ve finished, I have to ask: ‘Do you believe me, Beth?’ Even to my own ears, my accusations make me sound delusional. I wipe away a tear, the first one I’ve cried tonight.

Beth leaves her chair and comes around the table, crouching in front of me. She puts her arms around my quivering body and whispers that everything’s going to be okay. That she’ll find out what’s going on and get to the truth. My mind is closing down. I’m so tired and so confused by everything that I can’t seem to latch onto any more coherent thoughts.

‘Louisa!’ My sister’s voice cuts through my woolly brain. ‘Louisa, snap out of it, and listen.’

I blink and try to refocus: I’m at the police station… they think I’ve killed Mike… Beth is here to help me. I almost want to laugh it’s so absurd. Am I dreaming?

‘Listen,’ she says, taking my hand. ‘I know you didn’t do this. There are no witnesses. You have no motive. And you, yourself, called the police. Okay?’

I nod. Mute.

‘It’s all good,’ she says. ‘And unless they get more evidence, I don’t think they’ll charge you, in which case they’ll have to release you today… or tomorrow at the latest.’

‘More evidence?’

‘Look, don’t freak out,’ she says, ‘but they’ve gone to search your house.’

‘What! Joe’s asleep! Jared’s going to go nuts.’

‘Jared won’t go nuts. He’ll let them in. You’ve got nothing to hide.’

‘But Joe—’

‘They’ll try their best not to disturb Joe. It’s not a dawn raid, Lou. They’ll be civilised. They’ll go in with minimum disruption.’

My fists are clenched, my teeth grind together and the blood whooshes in my head. This is all Darcy’s doing. She’s behind it, I know she is. ‘Don’t they need a search warrant?’ I say.

‘Not in situations like this,’ Beth replies.

‘Murder, you mean?’

She nods.

‘Jared will go mad, Beth. He’s already pissed off with me over all the Darcy stuff. This will tip him over the edge.’

‘Jared’s your husband and he loves you,’ Beth snaps. ‘He’ll support you, and if he doesn’t, I’ll cut his bollocks off.’

I smile despite myself.

Beth kisses my forehead, straightens up and returns to her seat. ‘Now, are you ready to let them back in?’

I swallow and nod. ‘No, but okay.’

After a gruelling two more hours of questioning with Beth by my side, and an uncomfortable night in a depressing cell, I’m released without charge at lunchtime on Saturday. Beth returns to the station to pick me up. Jared was going to come and get me, but I told him to stay with Joe. I don’t want my son to know what’s been going on. I don’t want him to get even a hint of it.

It’s strange to step outside into the daylight, after everything I’ve been through. The sunshine sears my retinas and the cold air stings my cheeks, burns my lungs. Yet it feels good to be outside, to be walking away from the station where I was made to feel like a criminal.

‘I’m parked over the road,’ Beth says, taking my arm and leading me through a lull in traffic like I’m a child incapable of crossing on my own. I gaze around at all these people driving their cars and vans, cycling, walking, getting on with their regular lives, while my own life is disintegrating. How does it happen that you’re going along perfectly fine, and then, little-by-little, events twist and conspire to pull you down until you don’t recognise anything from your life any more?

We walk along a quiet side street flanked with bland sixties office blocks until we reach Beth’s car. She opens the passenger door for me and I climb in like an old person, easing myself into the seat, somehow astonished by its comfort, and by its warm, clean leathery smell. Beth gets in beside me, closes her door and starts up the engine. ‘Let’s get you home,’ she says.

‘I’m scared.’ I fold my hands together to stop them shaking.

‘It’ll be okay.’ She takes her hand off the gear stick and places it on my knee. ‘They’ve released you, and they haven’t charged you. I’m sure that will be the end of it. And whatever happens, we’re all here for you.’

I nod, but the lump in my throat has returned.

‘Come on,’ she says, starting up the car again. ‘Let’s get you back home. The longer you dwell on things the more you’ll worry.’

‘Okay,’ I say.

Yet her words provide no comfort.

Beth drops me off, offering to come into the house with me. I tell her I’ve taken up enough of her weekend. That I’m sorry for everything. That she must be exhausted. That she should go and spend the rest of the weekend with her family. She waves away my apologies, telling me to call her anytime I want, and gives me a warm hug before driving off.

‘Mummy!’ Joe hurls himself at me as I let myself into the house. I pull him in close and squeeze him so hard I worry about squashing him. He doesn’t seem to mind – he squeezes me back equally tightly.

‘Oh, Joe Bo!’ I say, kissing the top of his head. ‘I missed you like crazy.’

‘Daddy said you went to your friend’s house for a sleepover.’

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘But I’m very happy to be home now.’

Jared comes out of the kitchen. I see his eyes widen as he takes in my dishevelled appearance.

‘You okay?’ he asks.

I nod. ‘Joe, can you go and get me a glass of water, darling?’

Joe scampers off to the kitchen. Once he’s out of earshot, I tell Jared: ‘Beth thinks I’ll be fine. She doesn’t think they’ll charge me. They have no evidence.’

He shakes his head. ‘This is crazy.’

‘Tell me about it.’ Talking to my husband about being under arrest has to be ranked as one of the most surreal moments in my life.

‘Are you hungry?’ he asks. ‘I got you some soup. Waitrose leek and potato. And I bought a French loaf.’

Suddenly, I’m starving. I nod. ‘Give me ten minutes to jump in the shower.’

‘Okay, I’ll heat it up.’ He steps forward and kisses me. A brief touch of lips and a squeeze of my shoulder. What does that mean? Is he pleased to see me? Does he still love me like he used to? Are we still good? Butterflies flit across my stomach. Or maybe it’s just hunger.

Lunch was nice, if a little subdued. Just the three of us sitting around the kitchen table. Joe must have picked up on the vibe because he wasn’t his usual chatty self. Now, he’s upstairs playing with his Lego while Jared and I skirt around each other in the kitchen, clearing the lunch dishes. My hair is still damp from the shower, my skin clean and tingling. I feel more ‘normal’ even though the atmosphere between me and Jared is still strained.

Finally, I can’t stand it any more. ‘Are you upset with me, Jared?’ I ask, sitting down at the table and scoring the scrubbed wooden surface with my nail.

‘Upset?’ He turns and leans back against the kitchen units, arms folded across his chest.

‘Because it seems weird to me that I was arrested under suspicion of murder last night, and you’ve hardly said a thing to me since I got home.’

‘I’m giving you space,’ he says. ‘It must have been traumatic, so I’m trying to be… I dunno, quietly supportive, I suppose.’

‘Okay, well can we talk about it now?’

He bites his lower lip and nods. I was expecting more from him – either a, what the hell’s going on kind of thing or maybe an, oh my God, Lou how are you? What happened? This strange silence is unnerving.

‘You do know that Mike’s death is absolutely nothing to do with me, don’t you?’

He nods, looking unconvinced.

‘Jared…’

‘Louisa, I don’t know. You’ve been acting so differently lately. I’m wondering… if maybe you’ve been having some kind of breakdown. I know you’d never normally do anything to hurt anyone… Maybe you should go and see a doctor. I can come with you if you like.’

‘You think I’m having a breakdown?’ I press my palms flat on the table, splaying them wide like a dead starfish.

‘I think life is getting on top of you and it might be a good idea if you talk to someone about it.’

‘A psychiatrist?’

‘Or your GP.’

‘Is this your idea?’ I grit my teeth and raise an eyebrow.

He looks down at his feet. ‘Okay, don’t get mad, but Darcy said…’

‘Fucking Darcy!’ I interrupt. ‘She thinks I should go and see a doctor? This just gets better and better. Can’t you see what she’s doing? How she’s making me out to be this crazy person. But I’m not. And everything I do or say just makes things worse. I can’t deal with this any more.’

‘Louisa…’

‘No! You know me, Jared. You know me. We’ve been together for years. Have I ever acted this way before?’

‘No—’

‘Exactly! It’s her. It’s all her.’ I scrape my chair back and rise to my feet. ‘She’s done all this to split us up. It’s some kind of vendetta or plan. I don’t know why, but she’s been trying to ruin my life all along, and she’s succeeding. You’re letting her succeed.’

‘Louisa,’ Jared says, his so voice quiet and sad that I stop talking and look at him. ‘Louisa, I’m sorry but I can’t do this any more. I think we need a break.’

‘No. No, please.’ Tears fall and I taste salt on my lips. ‘She’s winning,’ I cry. ‘She’s ruining everything. I love you, Jared. Please.’

‘I think it’s best if you go to your sister’s and Joe stays here with me. You need rest.’

‘I don’t want this to split us apart. Please.’

‘I just need… I need a break from all this Darcy stuff,’ he says. ‘It’s too much, Lou. You haven’t talked about anything else for weeks. You’re not interested in my new business. You don’t want to go out or have fun. And now this thing with Mike… and the police coming here and searching our home. It’s so screwed up. I want the old you back.’

‘I am the old me,’ I say. ‘None of this is my fault. I had nothing to do with Mike’s murder. It’s—’

‘Darcy.’ Jared finishes my sentence. ‘This is exactly what I’m talking about, Louisa, look, I didn’t want to bring this up, but didn’t your real mum have some kind of breakdown when she was your age? Wasn’t that the reason you were adopted? Maybe…’

‘What? You think I’m genetically programmed to go nuts? Thanks a lot, Jared. I can’t believe you’d say that to me!’ I move away from the table and start pacing the kitchen, chewing at the corner of my thumbnail.

He knows I don’t like talking about my past, about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my birth parents. I’ve always made sure that Joe’s had the gentlest of childhoods. I never so much as raise my voice to him. That Jared could accuse me of being anything like my mother makes my blood boil.

‘I don’t think you’re nuts,’ Jared says. ‘I just think you’re not thinking straight at the moment, and it would be good for us to have some time apart.’

I glower at him. I know bloody well what he meant. He was comparing me to my mother. He’s worrying I’m going to lose the plot like she did.

‘I’m serious, Lou. I want us to take a break. And I want Joe to stay with me, so you can rest and get back to normal.’

‘You’re working,’ I point out. ‘How can you look after Joe while you’re at work?’

‘It’s okay, I’ve got it covered.’

‘Not Darcy.’ The ground feels like it’s shifting beneath my feet. I place the flat of my hand on the wall to steady myself and bend forward to take a breath. There’s no way that bloody woman is going to be looking after my child. And I’m certainly not having Joe forced to play with her bully of a son. ‘Anyone but her, Jared. For God’s sake, the woman’s set me up for murder! And Tyler is a little bully – he’s been pinching Joe and getting him into trouble. Ask him. Ask Joe. He’ll tell you.’

‘Calm down, Lou,’ he says. ‘It’ll just be for a little while. Just till you get back on your feet again.’

‘No,’ I say. ‘No way. Joe can stay with me at Beth’s.’

‘You need a break, Lou. You need peace and quiet.’

‘Beth has a four-year-old, in case you’d forgotten. I’m hardly going to get peace and quiet with Megan in the house. Anyway, Beth and Carys will help me – not that I need helping. I’m perfectly capable of looking after my own son.’ I glare at my husband for his insensitivity and lack of support. I thought we were stronger than this. That he would take my side, no matter what.

He’s shaking his head, but I can tell he’s going to relent. There’s no way on earth I would allow Darcy to look after Joe, and I can’t believe Jared’s even suggesting it.

‘Okay,’ Jared says. ‘But Joe stays with me at weekends.’

‘Fine,’ I snap. ‘I’ll pack a bag, shall I?’