Chapter Thirteen
Scarlett got it confirmed with the doctor that she was indeed pregnant. She smiled for the doctor and the nurse, but she couldn’t bring herself to jump for joy. All this time, she’d been wanting to talk to John about pregnancy options, and he’d employed his best friend for his sperm.
Leaving the doctor, she stopped when she saw it was Gunner in the car waiting.
“Where’s Billy?” she asked.
“I took over for him. We need to talk.”
She stared at the man that she had been falling for. A man she’d cared about and who she knew her husband loved so passionately.
He opened the car door and took her hand, and she slid into the passenger seat. She hated this feeling that was swirling inside her. They were going to have a baby. She had a little human being inside her, growing. All she had wanted for a couple of months was the prospect of getting pregnant, and now everything felt upside down. She couldn’t make sense of what the hell was happening in her life.
The happiness that she had been feeling moments ago was gone.
“Will you take me to the hospital? I would like to spend some time with Bennie.” She hoped that trying to cheer him up, she’d be able to do so for herself. She didn’t want to be a bitch or a bore.
“I’ll take you to the hospital, but you’ve got to talk to me. We didn’t want this for you, Scarlett.”
“You both organized this without even asking me. I’m now pregnant, and it’s your baby. What about you? What do you want out of this?” she asked.
“I want what I’ve always wanted.”
“And what is that?”
“You.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not going to believe that all you wanted was the chance to be with me. I’m not some perfect model or some saint, Gunner. I’m just me. I’m just Scarlett Williams, your best friend’s wife.”
“Exactly. You love your husband. You’re sweet, kind, loving, and I wanted a piece of that for myself, and if it meant I had to put my baby inside you, then I was willing to do it just to have a part of you.” He reached out, even as he was driving, and she didn’t push his hand away as he placed his palm across her stomach.
Pleasure filled her at his touch, and she closed her eyes. She was having Gunner’s baby. He had a right to touch her stomach, and to be part of it.
“Is this what you agreed with John?”
“I told him I wanted to be part of his life. This was before you saw us together or that I could have you both, and I want that, Scarlett.”
“What?”
“I want you both. I’m a greedy bastard, and I want you both. Right now, you hate us for discussing this without you, and I get it, I really do, but you’re having my kid. Be brokenhearted, but don’t keep me away from my child. I love you, Scarlett. I love you, and I love John. I’m going to love our baby when you give birth, and if you want another kid, I’ll give you another kid. I will give you everything your heart desires.”
Tears fell down her cheeks, and she hated that she was crying again already.
Gunner pulled up in front of the hospital and turned toward her. She couldn’t look away from him. The intensity of his stare shocked her with how much he seemed to see. He reached out, stroking her cheek.
She wanted to tell him that she loved him too, but her own stubbornness kept the words locked up tight.
“I’ll come and pick you up. We can have dinner or something.”
“I’m not very hungry right now.”
“I’m not going to leave you alone, Scarlett. I’m not that kind of guy, and I’ve never been wired that way.” He leaned forward, gripping the back of her neck as he claimed her lips.
Once again, her treacherous body responded to his kiss. She didn’t want him to stop, and wanted more, always so much more. One kiss was never enough.
“I love you.”
She climbed out of the car with his words hanging in the air. She didn’t say a word, and made her way up to Bennie’s room.
The moment she saw Bennie she forced a smile to her lips, and he frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.”
“You look like you’ve been crying.”
“I’ve not been crying. I’m fine.”
She kept the smile on her lips as she put her bag on the floor and stepped toward him. Pressing a kiss to his head, she glanced down at the book he was reading. “Is that a romance book?”
“It’s a book, and it’s kind of cool.”
“Okay. You’re not trying to impress some girl?”
“No, I’m not. Do you think reading a book could impress a girl?”
“I think so. John always thrilled me when he was able to talk about a book I’d read.” The mention of John made her smile drop, but she distracted Bennie by looking through the pages. “Is this for a girl?”
“I know she’s reading it. I saw her in school with it, and seeing as you brought it along, I figured why not.”
She was about to answer him when there was a knock at the door. Scarlett looked up and saw a girl on the bigger side. She held some flowers and a card in her hand. It was a large card. Her cheeks were on fire.
“Erm, I hope it’s okay that I came. Everyone signed it at school, and we hope you’re doing well.” She kept stuttering over her words as she talked.
“Come in, Gemma. This is my dad’s friend, Scarlett. Scarlett, this is my friend, Gemma.”
Scarlett stood up, holding out her hand, and Gemma shook it. “It’s good to see you. Bennie could use the company.”
She turned to look at Bennie, eyeing the book he had in his lap and nodding her head at Gemma.
He gave her a look that told her to shut up but also confirmed her suspicions. “I’m going to leave you two for a few minutes. Go and grab a coffee or something. Stay, Gemma. I’m sure Bennie is hating my company, me being all old and stuff.”
She grabbed her bag and left the room. Looking inside, she saw Gemma take a seat and lean close, showing him the card that had been signed.
He was a good kid.
Leaving the room, she made her way down to the cafeteria. The scents instantly turned her stomach. She quickly left so that she didn’t throw up. She found a vending machine and purchased a bottle of water and some cheese crackers.
“Well, well, well, look what the tide brought in,” Cherry said.
It wasn’t the first fat joke that had been directed her way, and it wouldn’t be the last. One bite of cheese cracker and Scarlett realized how hungry she was.
“Are you here to see Bennie?”
“Yes. I bet he’s begging for his mommy.”
Scarlett raised a brow. She wasn’t interested right now. After the evening and morning, she was at her wits’ end with bitches and liars. “It took you long enough to care.”
Cherry glared at her. “Why don’t you just eat your way into a coma or something? Useless bitch.”
“I will, thank you. Maybe then I could stop listening to your irritating voice.”
Cherry shook her head. “You know, I don’t get it when it comes to you. Men like a woman that doesn’t squash them, and yet Gunner and John act like shit doesn’t fall out of your ass.”
“Colorful,” she said, wrinkling her nose.
“It’s kind of funny though. It has to take two men to knock you up. Makes you wonder if it’s because of all the layers of fat that sperm has to get through.”
Scarlett didn’t say a word. She looked at Cherry, waiting for more, and there was.
“You may walk around town with your kid when you finally get one, but we will all know that it’s not John’s baby. It’ll be Gunner’s because he’s the only one man enough to knock you up.”
All hunger ended as Cherry threw her parting words, and Scarlett stood there in the corridor, alone and feeling completely winded.
She didn’t know what to do. She was so confused.
****
John sat at home, nursing a shot of whiskey and waiting for his wife to arrive. All day he’d given her space, and then after Gunner had called him, he’d been determined to see her, to talk to her.
He didn’t know exactly what he could say to the woman he loved that would explain why he did what he did.
“I thought I told you that you were to leave her alone,” Gunner said.
Sitting back in his sofa, he tipped the whiskey to the back of his throat and glared at Gunner. “She’s my wife, and we may fuck each other, but you don’t get to tell me what to do.” His heart clenched at the shot of pain he saw flash across Gunner’s eyes. This wasn’t helping either of them.
“She’s still got my baby, and I’ll let that fucking comment slide for now.” Gunner paced the room.
“It’s confirmed then?”
“Yes. She went to the doctor today, and there’s a baby. Why didn’t you listen to me?” Gunner asked.
John shrugged. “I don’t take orders from you. I want to see her, try to explain things. To make this work again. We were all having a lot of fun.”
“Is that all this is to you? A lot of fucking fun?”
“It’s a lot more than that.” Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Gunner’s anger simmer beneath the surface. His friend was struggling to contain his need for violence. They really didn’t need this right now. Not with Kent willing to strike at any moment and the fact Gunner was vulnerable.
John would never wear the patch, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t protect him with his very life.
“We fucked up big time with this. We shouldn’t have done this to Scarlett.”
“You wanted to fuck my wife,” John said. “This worked out great, more than great. We’re just having a few hiccups along the road. Nothing a little time won’t fix.” He finished his whiskey and grabbed the bottle he’d brought along with him. Scarlett was taking forever to arrive home, and his nerves were completely shot.
Watching Scarlett walk away had killed a part of him, especially as he didn’t even know the words that would work to keep her.
“What the fuck are you saying?” Gunner asked, stepping toward him.
Tilting his head back, he looked at his friend. “You wanted to get your dick inside her so bad. It wasn’t hard to see. Even your wife knew that you wanted it and had probably been craving it most of the past ten years. I handed you paradise on a plate.”
The pain was expected, and so was the violence. It had been a long time since John had needed this to help him deal with his own fucked-up problems.
Gunner’s fist in his face was a welcome reprieve from what he needed. There weren’t many men out there that could match John in a fight, but he had the one man he trusted more than anything. He was hauled to his feet.
“Why? Fucking why?” Gunner asked, yelling out his demand.
In answer, John brought his head down on Gunner’s nose, which threw him back and made him release John.
Gunner’s hand went to his nose.
He didn’t hear a break, so he didn’t for a second believe that he’d broken anything. When Gunner pulled his hand away, he saw that it wasn’t broken, but his friend wasn’t done, and neither was John. Gunner charged to his waist, pushing him back so they toppled the sofa.
Rolling on the floor, John swung his leg over and slammed his fist against Gunner’s face, but even still, he didn’t have the upper hand.
Gunner shoved him hard, getting his foot back and slamming it hard into his stomach.
John landed in a heap against the wall, but he was still ready for more.
“It’s my baby that’s inside her,” Gunner said. “I’m the one that knocked her up because you’re not man enough to do it.”
His rage went to a fever pitch as he launched himself at Gunner. They charged from the sitting room through to the bathroom. The force of being slammed on the table shattered the legs, and the top dropped onto the floor. For a second it knocked the wind out of him, but he’d been told to never give up, to keep on fighting. He didn’t have it in him to stop.
Infertile.
Never father a child.
Zero percent chance of fathering a child.
Sterile.
The words rang inside his head, going over and over. He’d tried not to think about them. To ignore the words that had shattered his entire world. Going to Gunner, it had brought together a piece in his life that he’d been missing, but even still, he hadn’t thought about why he’d done it.
In the back of his mind, it had always been there.
He couldn’t have kids, but he’d not given himself time to even think about it.
Slamming his fist into Gunner’s ribs, his friend reared back for a second, giving him the upper hand, but it lasted a second if not even less before Gunner had him around the neck.
“You can’t have kids, John. You’ll never be able to have them. That nursery up there, it’s a fucking sham. That’s what it is. A fucking sham.”
John clenched his teeth, grabbed Gunner’s arm, twisted it, and threw him off.
Just as he was about to slam his fist against Gunner’s face the door opened. His attention diverted to watch as Scarlett came in along with her guard, but he didn’t look at the man. No, his attention was on his wife.
On her stomach, and Gunner used his distraction to his advantage.
He shouldn’t be fighting Gunner or in his home. Scarlett had worked so hard to make it a beautiful home, and he was destroying it.
Even as he thought that, he kept on fighting.
“What the hell are you doing?” she asked, coming toward them.
“Get out,” John said, yelling.
He couldn’t have her seeing this. He’d not needed this fight in the ten years that he’d known her. She didn’t know this was how he dealt with his rage, and how he’d been trying to find other ways of dealing with it for some time. He’d not craved this for a long time though. His life with Scarlett had been precious and still was.
She had given him a beautiful home, and had brought Gunner to him.
“Ford, leave!” Gunner said.
Ford didn’t say a word as he turned and left the house.
Suddenly, John’s head was locked in a hold, and he couldn’t get out of it. He stared at Scarlett, his beautiful wife. A wife that was currently looking at them in horror.
“You see, John, I knocked her up, not you. I fucking put my kid inside her.”
“Gunner, stop it.”
“You couldn’t do it.”
He hit out, but it wasn’t having any effect on his friend. John’s throat clenched as he looked at his wife.
I failed.
I couldn’t give her everything.
I’m infertile.
John slumped down as the tears started to fall. Gunner released his hold, and then pulled him into his arms.
“It’s okay,” Gunner said.
“What is going on?” Scarlett asked.
“I’m sorry, Scarlett.” The pain in his voice was clear to hear. He heard it himself. “I’m not a man. I’m half a fucking man. I promised you the world, and I couldn’t even give you a fucking baby.” He pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes, and just sobbed. Those words were behind his eyelids like a nightmare on repeat. He kept trying to blank them out, but no matter what he did, it was there in the background, mocking him, waiting to take him down. When he came home and he saw that nursery, he only saw his failing.
Gunner had been his salvation most of his life. John didn’t intend to break her heart.
“You’re a good man,” Gunner said.
“I broke her heart. I just wanted her to have everything. I love you, Gunner, and I knew that if anything was to ever happen, you’d take care of her for me because Scarlett has to have a man taking care of her. She’s too kind.” Realizing his wife was still there, he turned to her and let her see the pain that was inside him. “You’re too precious to let go. Gunner deserves your love.”
“You deserve it,” she said. Her voice was a faint whisper, and tears filled her eyes as she spoke.
“I never wanted to hurt you. We’ve been talking about kids for so long. I was selfish for a long time, wanting you all to myself. Our nights alone together, wanting to make love to you without having a kid around interrupting us. I saw that you wanted it, and you’ve waited long enough. So we started trying, and then nothing happened for a long time, and so we went through all the tests, and it’s me. I promised you a baby, a big family. I can’t give it to you.”
“That doesn’t make you any less of a man.”
“I broke my vows.”
“You have never broken your vows to me, John. I love you, not what you can give me. You.”
Gunner stood up and helped John to his feet.
John knew that everything Gunner had said, he’d done so to help him, to make him open the dam that had been building inside him, and he’d refused to let go.
“Let’s clean you up.”
Scarlett reached out, taking his arm. All three of them went upstairs, and it was kind of surreal to have Gunner waiting on him as Scarlett stood in front of him, removing his clothing. He liked the feel of her hands on his body.
“How was the doctor’s visit?” he asked.
“It was okay. They confirmed I’m pregnant. I asked if I could stay and wait to see the results, and they put a rush on it. I’m pregnant.”
John went to put his hand on her stomach, but recalling the pain in her eyes, he stopped himself.
“Can I?” he asked.
She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. “Yes, you can. You can’t really feel anything right now. In time I’ll blow up like a balloon.”
“I can’t wait to see that, Scarlett. I know right now you’re hating me, and I took this decision out of your hands, but I wanted to give you everything. If you couldn’t have my baby, then the only one I wanted you to have was Gunner’s.”
“I don’t hate you, John.”
Once he was naked, they helped him into the bath, and neither of them made any move to climb in.
Together, Scarlett and Gunner washed him, and he was thankful for their attention. Even as he had the two people he loved more than anything in the world, the tears continued to fall. He’d not cried on the day that he’d been told he’d never father children, or after. His focus had been on finding a way to give his wife what she needed, what she craved.
Every night he’d glanced into the empty nursery, and it was like the room was mocking him. Laughing at his failed attempts to make his wife pregnant. All those nights of filling her, of taking her constantly in the hope of getting her pregnant had all been for nothing.
Once he was completely washed, he climbed out, and Scarlett dried him as Gunner got the first aid kit. He didn’t fight them as they dealt with the cuts on his hands. He’d seen his reflection in the mirror, and it wasn’t pretty to look at.
Bruises were already starting to appear.
After they treated him, Scarlett told him to lie in bed and she tucked him up, pressing a kiss to his temple.
She’d done this many times when he’d been ill with “man-flu” as she called it. He didn’t care. For tonight he’d take any attention she’d give him.
****
“Did you have to say those awful things to him?” Scarlett asked.
Gunner picked up the table, resting it against the wall without any pictures on it. Scarlett was placing the shattered pieces of wood into a large sack.
“Yes.”
“You shouldn’t have been so mean.”
“John hasn’t cried, has he? He didn’t talk to you about what was in that letter. I read that letter, and to a man like him, those words must have completely torn him apart. Still, he kept his shit together. He kept on going to work, dealing with life, and all the time, ignoring what was going on inside him.”
“I never blamed him.”
“He blamed himself, Scarlett. I remember asking him when he was going to knock you up, and he’d always say the same, not yet, I want her to myself. Not only did he get you to himself, but when you were ready, he couldn’t even give you what you wanted.”
Scarlett rubbed her temple, and Gunner wanted to go to her, to hold her. Right now, he didn’t think it was the right time. She was still pissed at him for the vile words he’d spewed at John.
“Fighting fixed that?”
“John has always been able to keep on going. To push his feelings to one side, and just allow them to fester beneath the surface. In the military, they want that. You don’t go on one mission, and come back with some of your friends dead, and they tell you to go and take a break. You get some rest, and you’re back out there within a few hours with a bunch of new men. The thing is, it doesn’t take long for that fucking dam to break, and when it does, you got to be prepared for it. John hadn’t dealt with that letter. He kept pushing it back, seeing that nursery, and back it would push. Over and over, he did that, and you’ve got to be willing to deal with the consequences of that. He had to respond to that pain.” Gunner shrugged. “I never said I agreed with what I did, or what I had to say to him. He deserves more than that, better. I also know John, and in the morning, he’ll feel better. He’ll be able to handle everything.”
They finished picking up the few bits of wood, and he placed all the large broken pieces against the wall with the main table top.
Someone rang the doorbell, and Ford was there with pizza.
“I’ve got this,” Gunner said. “Head back to the clubhouse, take care, and ride safe.” He slapped his man on the back and took the pizza into the living room.
He held out a can of soda for her, and she nodded.
“Yes, I can’t have wine now.” She took the soda, popping it open, and taking a sip. He opened the lid on the pizza, pushing it back. Handing a slice to Scarlett, he took a slice for himself and sat back.
“A girl came to visit Bennie today.”
“Yeah?”
“I think he likes her. Once she was gone, he seemed so happy even with Cherry there.”
Gunner tensed up. “Cherry was there?”
“Yes, with flowers and looking every part the doting mom.”
He glanced at her, and saw she was hurting. “Did she say anything to you?”
“She said a few things, but it doesn’t matter. She knows about you being the one to get me pregnant. I don’t know if she knows I am, but she mentioned something about it.”
He gritted his teeth. “I’ll deal with her.”
“It’s fine. I can deal with it. Honestly, it won’t be the first time that I have.” She finished eating her slice, licking her fingers as she did. “You won’t think I’m a pig for taking a second slice, would you?”
He leaned in and got her one of the biggest. “Eat up. You’ve got to keep your strength up for two.”
Her hand went to her stomach and she sighed. “Everything has gotten so crazy and so messed up.”
“That’s life for you.”
“I don’t like it. I don’t like my life being crazy like this.”
He saw the sadness in her eyes, and he placed a hand on her knee. “It’s going to be okay.”
“How can you be so sure of that?”
“Easy. I know that you love John more than anything. You’re hurt that we took that choice out of your hands, but for ten years you’ve been married to him, and you’ve not forced the issue of kids so you must love him a whole lot, or you’ve been lying for years.”
“I love him more than anything.”
“You love me as well.”
“I don’t like your ego right now.”
“It’s not my ego. You and I both know that there’s something going on between us. I’ve been honest with you. I love you, Scarlett. I love you, and I love that crazy man up there enough to say fuck it, and to give you my kid, and I promised myself no one else would ever have that kind of hold on me.”
“I would never do anything to hurt you,” she said.
“I know. Which is why I know you’ll find it in your heart to forgive, if you’ve not already. You’re not about holding a grudge, Scarlett. You’re about mending bridges, and bringing people together. It’s a gift you have that no one else will ever be able to match.”
“Now I’m crying again.” She wiped away the tears, and he leaned over to take care of the rest, cupping her cheek as he did.
“It’s the hormones.”
“It can be that quickly?”
“You’ll be surprised. Your body won’t be yours for a little while, but I can’t wait to see it.” He moved his hand from her face to cup her stomach. She leaned back, and he placed it where he knew she was going to get bigger. “I want to be with you every single step of the way. When you go and get your first ultrasound, and we hear the heartbeat, I want to be part of it all.”
She nodded. “I know John would want you to be part of it as well.”
“I didn’t give a shit about this kind of stuff with Cherry. She was pregnant, and I left her to deal with all the women stuff.”
Scarlett chuckled. “What do you want to tell your boys? I don’t want nasty rumors to go around town, and for them to have it thrown at them, used against them out of spite.”
“I’ll talk to my boys. You don’t have to worry.”
He heard her gasp as he bent down, kissing her stomach. “I don’t even know if you can hear me yet. I bet you’re this tiny little bean-looking thing.”
She chuckled, and her hand went to his head. Gunner closed his eyes, knowing her touch meant a great deal to him. If she could touch him and laugh, then it meant she didn’t hate him. In time she’d get over his and John’s agreement if she hadn’t done so already.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I want him or her to get used to my voice. You see, little bean, you’re going to be a little confused because you’re going to have two very strong, very sexy dads that love you more than anything in the world. You’ve got two brothers as well. I don’t know if they’ll be too cool to be nice, but I’ll make them be nice. We’re going to have a big family. You see, when you come out, I’m hoping that your mom loves me enough to give her another kid, and another, until she’s happy with the family all of us have built together. Like her husband, John, one of your daddies, I love her very much, and I want to give her the family that I know she wants.”
Once again, the tears started to fall, and she shook her head. “Don’t do this to me.”
“I’m telling you the truth. You can hate me, and I’ll take everything you can shoot at me. I don’t mind. You love me, Scarlett. You love that man up there that is hurting more than anything, and you don’t have it in you to hate.”
He pressed a kiss to her stomach, then to her lips. “Do you think you could take a third slice of pizza?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Good.” He handed her a third piece of pizza. “I’m going to take some food up to him,” he said.
“I’ll follow you up. I want a shower.”
He locked the house up, taking care with the windows and the doors to make sure they were secure.
Checking on Scarlett, he saw she was already in the shower, and he made his way toward the bed.
John’s head was facing the bathroom, and Gunner sat on the floor, the plate with the pizza held up.
“I come with gifts.”
John’s stomach chose that moment to growl, and he chuckled. “And you can’t even lie to me that you’re not hungry.”
“I’m not that petty.” John moved so that his head was resting on his hand, but they were both turned toward the door, waiting for the moment when their woman would enter.
“I know, but just in case you wanted to try and win an argument. I’ve already got your lame ass pegged.”
John chuckled. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
“She’ll forgive us, John. She doesn’t have it in her to be nasty or mean. She loves fiercely. She will cry at times though,” Gunner said. “We’ve got to be prepared for that.”
“I hate it when she cries.”
“Get used to it. I can’t kick your ass every other day. We’ve got to keep you pretty-looking for her.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For doing this, for being here.”
Gunner turned to look at his best friend. “I know I’ve never been open and honest with you about a lot of things, but you should know that I love you. That I want this between all three of us. I want you both, and I’m a man that gets what he wants. You and Scarlett, you’re mine now.”
“If that’s the case then that means you belong to us. Scarlett and I own you.”
“Good.”
The door to the bathroom opened, and there stood their woman. She wore a nasty-ass nightshirt that had seen better days.
“Can you both … just hold me? I don’t want anything. I’d like you both to hold me.”
John finished his pizza, and Gunner removed his leather jacket. He made sure to put the gun within reach. Kent was still out there. The threat that he posed was still fucking real, and Gunner wasn’t going to let down his guard for anyone.
Taking off his clothes, he climbed onto the other side of Scarlett. Pushing his arm beneath her head, he placed his other hand at her hip.
John moved closer, banding his arm around her waist, kissing her lips.
“I love you, Scarlett,” he said.
“I love you too.” She touched his face, her finger lightly tracing over one of the Band-Aids that he’d put on. “I hope you don’t have to fight like this often.”
“I won’t, baby.” John kissed her lips, and Gunner kissed her neck.
“Sleep, the both of you. We’ve got a long life ahead of us.”
Scarlett gave a little chuckle, but she snuggled between them, and he was able to relax. He didn’t know how long it would last.