Chapter13
Elizabeth sat down on the edge of her tub and started the timer on her phone. She had told Luke that she wasn’t going to try a pregnancy test until the time came for her next doctor’s appointment--the one where they would check her hormones again--but after the conversation they’d had just before she’d left his home, she couldn’t resist the temptation. It had been about a week since their marathon of sex, and Elizabeth needed to know whether she even needed to worry about the situation between them and any complications that might arise.
She took a deep breath and watched as the seconds on the timer counted down. Elizabeth knew that she might not get a definitive answer from the test, but it would be a start--and if it was positive, she could start preparing herself mentally for what would happen next between her and Luke.
In the week since she’d left his townhouse, they’d talked via text message a few times, but Elizabeth had mostly thrown herself into work, and Luke hadn’t invited her to any kind of outings or events. It was clear to her--at least for the time being--that he intended to go through with the idea of backing off a bit emotionally.
She hadn’t anticipated how much it would sting for Luke to propose that. Of course, Elizabeth thought, she hadn’t anticipated having any feelings towards Luke either. She’d d just sort of fallen into them, and she hadn’t questioned how complicated it would make things until Luke had brought it up. As far as Elizabeth had been concerned, they would have a semi-romantic fling, and then it would be over by the time she had the child for him, and she would go back to her life.
But now, waiting to find out if she was potentially pregnant, Elizabeth realized that it had the potential to be much more than that. How would she really feel if, after carrying a child for nine months and then delivering it, she had to stay out of Luke’s life forever? She had known--intellectually--that it would be different with him versus a total stranger. She hadn’t realized until after their discussion a week before that it would be so emotional.
The timer on her phone went off, and for a moment, Elizabeth continued to sit on the edge of the tub, staring at the screen. “It’s not that big of a deal,” she said. “If I’m not pregnant, then Luke and I can work this out between us for next month. If I am pregnant…” she didn’t really know how to end that sentence. She didn’t know how it would play out between them.
But somehow, knowing that she was pregnant--or could be pregnant--would change things. It would put her in a different position or, at the very least, she would be prepared for the next stage in their contract.
Just look at the test. Elizabeth rose to her feet and shut off the alarm on her timer before stepping to the sink where she’d left the pregnancy test to develop. She took a deep breath and looked down. Pregnant.
It was stunning and not at all surprising, all at the same time. Elizabeth stared at the result on the test for a long moment, absorbing the impact of the information. If she’d gotten a negative result, it would be a little more suspenseful; after all, it would be possible for it to be a false negative, that she had taken the test too soon. The fact that it was positive was a little less controversial. She could be fairly certain that it wasn’t wrong.
Elizabeth sat down on the edge of the tub again and tried to think of how to react to what she now could be fairly certain was the truth: they had managed to get her pregnant in the marathon of sex, and she and Luke were going to have a baby together.
In nine months--barring any kind of accident or something bad happening otherwise--she would give birth and hand over the baby, and then things would, in theory, be done between her and Luke. She would be over a hundred thousand dollars richer, and while Elizabeth thought that she was more than capable of getting over any kind of grief through a long vacation, she wasn’t sure if that was even what she wanted to do anymore.
“Well, now you know,” she said. The bigger question that loomed in her mind was whether to keep that information to herself until the date of her next doctor’s appointment--which Luke would be going to with her--or if she should tell him outright that she’d taken a pregnancy test and it had come up positive.
The test at the doctor’s office would prove it conclusively, and Elizabeth didn’t think that she would have to worry about a false positive; she had, after all, actually had sex while ovulating, and she had definitely done everything she could to make sure she would conceive.
Of course, the fact that she was pregnant already would mean that the sex would likely end, and that was a frustration on its own. To have had such good sex already and know that it was no longer going to be any part of her routine--especially if Luke stuck with his idea of disengaging a bit, of pulling back so that their emotions wouldn’t complicate things too much--was disappointing.
Elizabeth felt restless. She got up and threw the pregnancy test in the trash in her bathroom before going into the living room of her apartment and looking around. It was already starting to feel like home, and the knowledge that she was going to definitely be leaving it within a year--probably less--made her even more uncomfortable. “It’s fine. It’s going to be fine,” she murmured to herself.
She found herself wandering around the living room, not really with any task in mind, almost pacing, and forced herself to stop “You need to get out of the house. That’s what you need. Just get out of here and do something for a few hours, and then when you get back, you can make up your mind about what you want to do.”
Elizabeth went back into the bathroom and grabbed her phone. She realized she had no shoes on--and that she’d taken her bra off earlier when it had been uncomfortable--and took care of both of those issues quickly, mentally going over the rest of her list: she needed her purse, she needed her keys, but she wouldn’t take her laptop with her because she knew she wasn’t going to get any work done.
Just as she went to the door to leave the house, a knock cut through Elizabeth’s distraction. She frowned, confused. She wasn’t expecting anyone, and in almost a month of living in Chicago, she hadn’t had many people coming to her door without any notice. “If it’s a Jehovah’s Witness, they have picked the wrong time,” she muttered to herself. She opened the door, unsure of what to expect on the other side of it.
Of all the things she could have imagined seeing, the actual result was staggering: Luke stood, a bouquet of daisies in his hands, waiting patiently for her. “I wanted to say that I was wrong and stupid,” he told her, almost before Elizabeth could even wrap her mind around the fact that he was even there at all.
“What?” She blinked and stepped back from the door, feeling weakness in her knees. Of all the people to show up on her doorstep at random, Luke was potentially the least welcome, in spite of the way something inside of her--deeply physical, beyond the realm of reason--relaxed just at the sight of him.
“It took me a week, but I realized I was being a stupid idiot, and I should try and make things right,” Luke replied. “So, I was hoping you’d let me take you to the Lincoln Park Zoo, and we can go to dinner after and talk about what this is going to look like for us.” Elizabeth had to sit down. She shook her head--not rejecting the offer--and moved towards her living room, sinking onto the couch. “What’s wrong?”
That was a loaded question indeed; Elizabeth almost laughed, realizing the irony in it. There she was, with information that could create a massive change in how Luke felt, and he’d finally come around. She’d been so concerned with how she was going to deal with him pushing her away to keep their situation as uncomplicated as possible, and now when she was at the point of having to decide how to deal with that, Luke had changed everything.
Did she owe it to him to confess that she was fairly certain she was pregnant? Or should she wait until the doctor’s visit anyway, just because she didn’t know for sure--there was, after all, an outside chance that the positive was false--and because she wasn’t sure how much Luke had really changed his mind? Was it so bad of her to want what he was now offering?
“I’m okay,” Elizabeth said. “It’s just a big change from where we left things the other day.” Luke knelt in front of her and looked up into her face, smiling hopefully.
“I figured you were right,” he said. “Even if this isn’t the kind of thing that can last forever, there’s no reason at all not to enjoy what it is while we have it. I have feelings for you, and it’s not fair to you to sort of...almost punish you because those feelings scared me. Not to mention the fact that the sex with you is so good I can’t even stand the idea of just...stopping.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Okay, that last part I can definitely believe,” she said. Her heart had slowed down slightly in her chest, and she decided--on impulse--to save the question of whether or not to reveal the result of the test to Luke until at least after the date he’d come to take her on was over. She would see how things were between them now that Luke had changed his mind about pushing her away, and then she would decide whether or not to tell him. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting anything like this,” she added.
“Yeah, I thought about calling, but I just sort of...went on impulse,” Luke said. “I’m not even sure whether you like daisies anymore.” Elizabeth stared at him in shock. He’d actually remembered that she had loved daisies when they were together in high school; she still did, but she had thought that the choice of flower was random.
“I do,” she said. She smiled and took a quick, deep breath. “Let’s go to the zoo and then dinner.” Luke rose to his feet, and Elizabeth did as well.
“Do you have anything to put these in? I probably should have gotten something just in case,” Luke said sheepishly. Elizabeth laughed, relieved that she didn’t have to think about whether or not to tell him the news for a while longer.
“I have a vase,” she said. “I bought it last week, actually.” She led him into the kitchen and filled the vase with water, along with some of the little packet of preservative that the flowers had come with, and put the daisies in the vase. She set it aside on the kitchen table and turned to Luke. “I definitely want to hear more about this thought process of yours,” she told him.
“I am happy to talk about it,” Luke said as they left the apartment. Elizabeth led the way towards the elevator, feeling the tension humming in her body, but she reminded herself that there was no need to tell him, yet, the news that she had just gotten. “First, I realized that I felt better having you in the townhouse than I had for years living in there alone,” he explained.
“Well, that could be explained in part by great sex and lots of it,” Elizabeth pointed out.
“I did try to rationalize it that way,” Luke agreed. “But it was more than that. It was that I feel comfortable with you. I like being around you, and I think you like being around me.” Elizabeth had to nod at that; it was true.
“So, you decided that you’re okay if this gets complicated?” Luke put his hand on the small of her back and steered her into the elevator as its doors opened.
“I am definitely okay with it--or at least, I’m more okay with it than with the idea of pushing you away.” Luke leaned in, hesitating just a bit, and Elizabeth closed the last distance between the two of them to give him a quick kiss on the lips.
“Sounds like you’ve gotten a lot smarter in the past week,” Elizabeth said with a little smile.
“I want this to work out for both of us,” Luke told her. “I want you to feel comfortable and supported carrying my baby, and I want to just...enjoy this while we have it. Are you on the same page?” Elizabeth, remembering--until she was able to push the information down again--that she was already pregnant, nodded. It was going to be complicated, and she knew that, but at least it was going to be less complicated than being pregnant while Luke kept trying to push her away would be. She leaned in closer and kissed him lightly on the lips again.
“I hope you don’t plan on taking me somewhere crazy expensive,” she told him. “Because after all that time in the zoo, I’m going to be starving.” That was as close as she would let herself come to confessing to Luke just yet, but Elizabeth was fairly certain that she wouldn’t be able to hold back the news the entire time they were both supposed to wait until the next doctor’s appointment. It was only a matter of finding the right moment to reveal what she knew.