Chapter 3
SHANE RACED DOWN THE hospital corridor, running ten minutes late for his son’s appointment. But he’d gotten through all the reports filed by the officers who’d been at the crime scene last night. He turned a corner, nearly hitting a woman carrying a basket of flowers. “Sorry,” he said as he passed.
He pushed open the door to the transplant wing of Strong, a place he’d become intimate with. He knew every doctor and nurse, as well as all the administrative staff.
“Good morning,” a nurse he’d never seen before said.
“Hi.” He looked around but didn’t see his son or mother. “My son, Kevin, and his grandmother—”
“Are you by chance Shane Rogers?” The nurse looked to be in her mid-thirties, maybe a few years older than Shane.
He nodded.
“Your son just went down to X-ray.”
“I’ll head there.”
“You’ll end up missing them,” she said. “Can I get you some coffee?”
He let out a long breath. “All right. Thanks.” He knew the most important part of today’s visit was after the X-ray, when they sat down and talked to the doctor about the results, but it didn’t make him feel any better that he didn’t get to see Kevin before the simple test. “You must be new,” Shane said.
“I worked in the ER for a few years. Got burned out, so I asked for a transfer up here.” She handed him the coffee. “Your son is adorable, and quite good at card tricks,” she said.
“Thanks,’ he said, appreciating the woman’s kind words.
“However,” she hesitated, “did you know he’s carrying a pocketknife? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, per se, just thought I’d ask.”
“I know.” Shane’s chest tightened. He hated being tough on his son, but he’d told him a million times there was a time and place for the knife, and the hospital wasn’t one of them. “He’s not supposed to have it on him when he leaves the house. Thanks for letting me know.”
“You’re welcome.” She smiled sweetly.
“What exam room?”
“Four,” she said. “Nice to meet you.”
“You, too.” He hit the button to the automatic doors and entered a long corridor filled with other patients having various tests. This is what he called the nice side of the wing. It’s where there were happy tears. Patients living their lives when death had been imminent just a few short months ago.
He pulled back the curtain to room number four.
“Look who made it,” Dr. Nads said as she stepped into the room behind him.
“X-ray done yet?”
“It is,” Dr. Nads said. “Kevin wanted to give a little magic show to the staff.”
The last present Janet had bought him was a book of magic tricks. Since her death he’d become obsessed with magic, and if Shane was being honest with himself the tricks made it feel like Janet was still with them in some small way.
“I wanted a chance to talk to you privately.”
Shane didn’t like the sound of that. “Okay.”
“He’s doing great, physically,” Dr. Nads said. She wore the standard white lab coat over blue scrubs. Her light brown hair fell short of her shoulders. She wore little to no makeup, which she didn’t need anyway. “His breastbone is completely closed, which was the purpose of this visit. His heart rate is normal. I did draw some blood today. I won’t have the results until later, but I suspect that will all be normal, too.”
“Then why the private convo?”
“I know this has been a difficult couple of years for you, but your constant obsessing—”
“I’m worried about my son’s recovery and you’re making me nervous.”
“Your constant worry is starting to affect Kevin in a negative way. He worries you’re going to baby him for the rest of his life.”
“I think I resent that,” he said. “I’m following doctor’s orders.” Shane had been doing everything exactly the way he’d been told. He followed the recovery program to the letter.
“I know, and you’re doing a wonderful job. His body is recovering nicely. However, I’m more concerned with his emotional and social growth right now. Has he been playing with other kids? Being as normal as possible is a key factor in terms of lifelong success.”
“We go to the support groups. He has a few friends there. He texts and plays video games with them.”
“What about other kids who haven’t had a transplant? Other kids who aren’t in his therapy sessions or in rehab with him?”
“He spends a lot of time with his cousins.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I think your family is fantastic and a great support system. But I can’t stress enough the need for Kevin to feel normal. He was so happy that you went back to being a detective, doing what you love to do. And I see that has had a positive effect on him. But he needs to go back to what he’s good at, and that’s being a kid. It’s time for him to go to school.”
“Look, I think he needs more time to adjust. I just went back to work full-time and I’m involved with a tough case. Our lives have changed enough. I can’t afford to be worried about Kevin in a situation I can’t control, and there are too many things that could go wrong in school.”
“Like what?”
“He could have signs of rejection, but the school nurse might think it’s just a stomachache and ignore it.”
Dr. Nads actually had the nerve to crack a smile.
“He could fall down the stairs,” Shane added, realizing he was overreacting and that there was no way he could control every aspect of his son’s life.
“He could fall down the stairs at home right in front of you. And as far as the school nurse is concerned, she’ll be informed about his condition and would notify you and me if he even spiked a slight fever, which could happen while at home with the tutor, and could just be an ear infection or stomach bug. These things do happen.”
“What about gym class? He shouldn’t be doing things like football, or lacrosse, or—”
“I’ll provide a list of safe activities he’d be able to participate in, but as he grows bigger and stronger he will be able to participate in things you never thought possible for him six months ago.”
“You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you?” He didn’t feel like arguing anymore because, deep down, he knew she was right. “I don’t want to throw a lot of changes at him all at once.”
“I understand, but your return to work and him going back to school are two changes that are going to be good for the both of you. If you sign all the paperwork, I’ll make sure I talk with his teachers, the nurse, the principal, and anyone else you think necessary. But if he doesn’t start living again, then his new heart is going to feel that in other ways.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “It’s hard not to focus on all the things that could go wrong.”
She closed her eyes for a moment and nodded. “I know. I think the strong relationship you have with Kevin and the rest of your family, has really helped him with the early parts of this recovery. However, it’s time for you to step back and let him start to take over his treatment. He can take his own temperature, do his exercises, especially now that you won’t always be there. He’s ready and he wants the responsibility.”
“Do you think he can handle it?”
“He might be young, but it’s no different than teaching him how to brush his teeth. At first, you do it for him. Then you observe, making sure he does it right. Then you ask him if he’s brushed; if he hasn’t you give him the evil eye and he goes and does it until it becomes habit.”
“I feel like you’re over-simplifying things.”
“You need to understand that by giving him the responsibility he’s going to own it, and in the long run it’s going to make him feel good about himself. That’s a huge part of his recovery.”
“But what if he forgets his meds? Or doesn’t pay attention to his temperature? This could be a life-threatening mistake.”
“You’re not giving your son enough credit. First, he knows what he’s been through. Second, I’m not suggesting that you walk away, never to discuss it again. I’m merely suggesting that you make it more his responsibility than yours. Give him gentle reminders. At the end of the day, ask him about his temperature chart. Have him show you what he’s documented, instead of you taking it and writing it down. To over- simplify, treat it like homework. He does it, you check it.”
“That’s all easier said than done. You’re basically asking me not to worry.”
“There’s something else you need to consider in all this.” Dr. Nads stood and walked over to him, placing her firm hand on his shoulder. “Kevin is worried about you.”
“Did he say that?”
“He’s worried you won’t ever have a normal life for yourself.”
“I’m doing the best I can.”
“And you’re doing a great job. Kevin should be here shortly, and I know you need to get to work.” Dr. Nads smiled. “One step at a time. Take things slow. Let’s start with him going to school and settling in with your niece. I already put her on all the forms and I’ll meet with her on Wednesday. From what I’ve heard, she’s going to be great with Kevin.”
“Okay. School it is,” Shane heard himself say, but wanted to take the words back as soon as they left his lips.