Chapter 19

“Wherein perfection is proved an illusion.”

Wilkes had ushered Pearl into the blue parlour, the closest to the entrance hall. Looking at her sister, Ella wondered that she’d made it that far.

“Pearl!” Ella exclaimed, horrified to see her perfect sister looking such a fright.

Her flawless skin was white and pasty, splotched with red, and her eyes were bloodshot. That she’d been crying was evident. Her face looked puffy and, with a start of surprise, Ella realised she’d gained weight.

Ella started forward, her instinct to comfort Pearl, except she knew all too well that such presumptions were never well received. Instead she hesitated, not knowing what to do.

Pearl sneered at her indecision, wrapping her arms about herself.

“I’ll have Wilkes fetch a doctor,” Ella said, turning back to the door.

“Don’t bother,” Pearl said, her voice harsh and full of disgust. “There’s nothing to be done.”

Ella stared at her, frowning.

“Whatever do you mean, Pearl? What’s wrong with you?”

“You! You little bitch,” Pearl snarled, and Ella backed up a few steps at the venom in her words.

Pearl laughed and, for a moment, Ella wondered at her sanity, until she realised she wasn’t laughing any longer, she was crying. Pearl just stood there, shaking with misery, huge, aching sobs wracking her body. Her knees gave out and she sank to the floor, and Ella could not stand by and watch.

Despite her sister’s obvious hatred for her, Ella could no more have done nothing than turned her away. She didn’t have such poisonous feelings within her, and could only feel pity for her sister’s misery.

With a little trepidation, she hurried to sit by Pearl’s side and put an arm around her, pulling her stiff and unyielding frame into an awkward hug.

“There, there, Pearl. Don’t upset yourself so. Whatever it is, we’ll make it right. I’ll help you, I promise.”

As if the words had turned a key in a lock, all the stiffness left Pearl’s body and she clung to her sister, holding her tight and sobbing as if her heart was broken.

Ella said nothing, judging it better that Pearl cry out the storm of emotions before she tried to explain. After a little while, her crying subsided into quiet misery and Ella tightened her arms about her for a moment.

“Come along, now. You can’t be comfortable down here on the floor. Come and sit on the sofa, and I shall order some tea, and you can tell me everything.”

“Why?” Pearl demanded, sounding torn between fury and bewilderment. She stared at Ella, the tears falling down her lovely face unchecked. “Why would you help me? You hate me.”

Ella shook her head, fighting her own tears as she admitted the truth to herself and to Pearl.

“No, Pearl. You hated me. I always longed to be your friend, your sister, and I will be now, if you’ll allow me to. It’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.”

Pearl made an exasperated sound and shook her head. “Why do you have to be so nice? You’re always so bloody chirpy and happy. Doesn’t it get tiring?”

Ella gave a startled laugh. “If I’m pretending, yes. I didn’t know how hard it was to pretend to be happy until I married Oscar.”

She wondered if she ought to have made the confession, knowing how Pearl used any weakness she discovered against her, but she was so distraught that Ella felt it would be a kind of peace offering. She’d given her confession before Pearl had admitted hers. A strange gift perhaps, but sincerely meant.

Pearl stared at her, wide-eyed.

“But you love Oscar. You always have. Why aren’t you happy?”

Ella returned a cautious smile. “I… I am… now,” she said shyly. “But I will tell you my story later. First, you must tell me what has upset you so badly. Come along.”

She moved to help Pearl up, sliding an arm around her waist to steady her, and gasped in shock as she discovered what lay beneath the unusually loose gown that her sister wore.

Pearl stared at her, a defiant look in her eyes, daring Ella to judge her.

“Oh, Pearl,” Ella said, the words full of sorrow as her heart contracted.

Blue eyes that had always looked so devoid of feeling, so cold and uncaring, stared back at her, and all Ella could see was fear. She took a deep breath.

“Right. First, a cup of tea. Mintie is of the firm opinion that tea and cake solve most problems. Now sit yourself down here,” Ella continued, trying desperately to sound as if she could make this right for Pearl. “And… and when you’re rested, we’ll see what can be done.”

Ella rattled on, her mind rushing about with flustered speed. Busying herself to hide her disordered thoughts, she plumped cushions and put a shawl about her sister’s shoulders. Once Pearl was comfortable, Ella rang the bell to summon a servant as she considered what she knew. She’d seen Pearl with the footman that night. Her stomach turned, a ripple of fear rolling down her back. Good Lord, Lady Pearl Aldous having the child of a footman? She’d not only be ruined, she’d be utterly destroyed.

“There’s nothing to be done, Ella,” Pearl said, and Ella could see the defeat in her eyes, and hear it in the hollowness of her words.

“If I’d married Oscar I could have hidden it, but not now. My maid, Helen, discovered it a few weeks ago, and she’s been keeping my secret, letting out my gowns, but… but now….”

Pearl swallowed hard and turned away. Wilkes knocked before Ella could say anything, and she ordered tea and cake then hurried to sit beside her sister. As she sat down and took Pearl’s hand, she found it icy cold. She chaffed at the skin, trying to warm her. Ella frowned as she allowed Pearl’s words to sink in, and looked up as the realisation hit her.

“You were already pregnant,” she said, the words little more than a whisper. “When I… when I got caught with Oscar. You would have married him and—”

“And passed it off as his child,” Pearl finished for her. She said it as though it had been obvious, her voice matter-of-fact and emotionless. “Yes. I would have done. Until you ruined all my plans.”

Ella stared at her, aghast that she could have even considered such a thing.

“Still want to help me?” Pearl demanded, that sneer creeping back into her face, though Ella wasn’t fooled. Pearl was terrified.

What her sister had done—had been prepared to do to Oscar—shocked and revolted her, but she didn’t know Pearl’s side of the story yet.

She held Pearl’s gaze, unblinking. Pearl had never given her the chance to be a friend or a sister and now, perhaps, she only did so as she was desperate, but Ella knew there would never be another chance. If she turned her away now, she might as well have thrown Pearl to the wolves. The result would be the same. She wanted her sister, wanted that relationship she’d always longed for and missed, no matter the price.

“Yes. I’ll help you.”

Pearl’s lip trembled, and whatever remained of her icy exterior crumpled with it. Ella hugged her, rocking her like a child as she cried, silently now, exhausted by the turmoil.

“I’ll help you, Pearl. You have my word. Whatever it takes, we’ll do it.”

For the first time in her life, Ella felt her sister hug her in return, holding her tight as she too began to cry.

“Thank you, Ella, thank you.”

***

Wilkes brought the tea and cake, but it was clear to Ella that Pearl was exhausted. She instructed that a room be prepared for her sister at once. Lady Pearl was unwell and needed to rest. While they waited, she made Pearl drink a cup and eat a few bites of cake before escorting her to her room and helping her undress.

“I’ll send for your maid and tell Papa you’ve come to stay with me.”

Pearl snorted as she hauled herself into bed.

“Well, he won’t believe that for a moment. He’ll know something is wrong.”

Ella had lent her a nightgown and found herself transfixed by the swell of Pearl’s stomach. Almost five months along, Pearl thought, although she didn’t seem at all sure. Privately, Ella wondered if it could be more.

Unable to stop herself, Ella reached out a hand and then hesitated, glancing at Pearl. Her sister nodded, and so Ella laid her palm against Pearl’s stomach. She gasped as a small hand or foot pushed beneath her touch. Ella laughed, delighted as she stared at her sister.

“I’ve got a niece or nephew in there,” she said, smiling with pleasure.

Pearl stared at her and then shook her head, her expression bleak. “Not one you’ll ever be able to claim.”

“Just try to stop me,” Ella retorted, furious as Pearl drew in a sharp breath, wonder in her eyes.

“You’ve always been so brave, Ella, so much braver than I am. Why would you do that? You’re a duchess. The scandal will be appalling.”

“If you decide you want to keep the child and face the scandal, I will face it too. I’m a duchess I can certainly weather the storm. Who will dare to cut me?” she demanded, frustrated at Pearl’s lack of faith in her. “And because you’re my sister! Because we’re family, flesh and blood, and because I love you. Oh, don’t look at me like that,” she said, still annoyed as she saw the cynical glint in Pearl’s eyes. “I’ve hated you in equal measure, I assure you.”

Pearl smiled then, a proper smile, one that reached her eyes, and Ella thought perhaps it was the first true smile she’d ever received from her.

“What do you want to do, Pearl?” she asked, reaching out and holding her sister’s hand.

Pearl blinked hard and gave a startled laugh. “Do you know, that’s the first time in my life anyone has asked me that. Ever.”

“Well, I am asking, and when you are ready, I will listen, and do everything in my power to make it happen.”

Pearl lay back against the pillows and sighed as Ella drew the curtains and lit a single candle. Moving back to the bed, she gazed at her sister, still disbelieving, and pulled the covers up, tucking her in like a child.

“Now, you rest for a while, and try not to worry. When you’re not so tired and upset, things won’t look so black. In the morning, you can tell me what happened, if you want to, and we can talk about what you want to do now.”

Ella gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile and went to leave, but Pearl’s hand darted out and grasped her wrist.

“Aren’t you going to ask who the father is?” She stared up at Ella in confusion. “Don’t you want to know who’s responsible?”

“Not until you’re ready to tell me, and only if you want to,” Ella said and then sighed, realising she ought to confess her suspicions. “Though… I think I know.”

Pearl stared at her, aghast as Ella sat back down on the edge of the bed and covered her hand with her own. “No one else knows but me,” she said, praying that was true. “But... I saw you at the masquerade or, at least, I recognised the bracelet you wore. Pearls and diamonds. I saw George Jones there, too.”

She watched as Pearl swallowed and gave a little nod of confirmation.

“A footman, Ella,” she whispered, misery behind the words. “Can you still stand by me, by the child? When I will bring such shame and disgrace to the family?”

“Yes,” Ella said, her voice soothing as she reached out to push Pearl’s blonde hair from her forehead. “I can. We will endure together, you and I. Anything the world can throw at us, we can survive.”

Ella went to withdraw her hand, but Pearl held on, gripping it tight.

“I know what you think of me, Ella. You think me cold and wicked, but I didn’t give myself away on a whim… I loved him. I did. I’ve loved him since I was a girl, even though I knew I shouldn’t. He was handsome and funny and …” She paused, a little breath of laughter escaping her as she remembered. “And quite unimpressed by my haughty ways. He spoke to me like I was no better than him, and it made me furious, but it was also … different. He intrigued me. I knew how wrong it was, how furious Father would be. I mean me, Lady Pearl, daughter to an earl, with… a footman? But I couldn’t help it.”

“I know, Pearl,” Ella said, knowing exactly what she meant. “I knew Oscar was yours, and I tried so hard not to love him, but it’s not something you choose, is it?”

Pearl shook her head. “No,” she whispered, and gave a sorrowful sigh.

“Rest now, Pearl. I’ll have a tray brought to you later, and in the morning, we’ll talk again.”

Ella squeezed Pearl’s hand and left her alone.

***

Ella wandered back down the corridor to the staircase, dazed and overwhelmed. For all her promises to Pearl, promises she meant to keep, she had no idea how to keep them.

They would have to send Pearl away until the baby was born, and that would give her time to decide what she wanted. Ella suspected she’d give the child up; though it made her heart hurt. Yet it was Pearl’s choice to make, not hers. Ella would take the greatest care to ensure a suitable family was found: one that would love the child as their own and never hold its illegitimacy against it. Then Pearl could return and carry on as if nothing had happened.

“Penny for them.”

Ella looked up, only then realising she’d come to a halt halfway down the staircase, staring over the banister into some far distant place. Oscar walked down the stairs behind her, sliding an arm about her waist. The simple touch had her heart leaping and, for a moment, Pearl’s problems disappeared as she saw the pleasure in his hazel eyes. He was pleased to see her, he truly was.

“Wool gathering, love?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “I was rather.”

He frowned then, raising a hand to touch her face. “What the devil is Pearl staying for? I hope she’s not come to make trouble.” He paused, perhaps sensing her distress, searching her gaze as he stroked his thumb over her cheek. “She hasn’t upset you, has she?”

Ella shook her head, wondering what to say. She couldn’t betray her sister by telling Oscar, not yet. He would have to know, but she needed Pearl’s permission first.

“No, Oscar, but she’s very unhappy and….” She stopped, shaking her head. “I can’t tell you. I’m sorry. Not yet, at least, but she needs my help, and I will give it to her.”

There was a warning tone to her words, she knew, and Oscar noted it too, his frown deepening. “She’s not bullying you, is she? Because if she’d got some hold over you—”

Ella gripped his arm, shaking her head. “No, nothing like that, I promise, and I will explain everything. Only, not yet. Trust me, please, Oscar.”

His face softened.

“Of course I trust you,” he said, and then frowned, his expression a little doubtful. “Only don’t go riding in the thousand guineas or chopping your hair off again, or some other madcap thing. At least, not without telling me first.”

“I promise to tell you the next time I do something dreadful,” she said, nodding, her voice solemn.

“Oh, no… before,” he scolded, wagging a finger at her. “Before you do something dreadful. At least give me the chance to join in.”

She laughed then, delighted with him as he smiled and then leaned down, brushing his lips over hers in a gentle, teasing manner.

Her breath caught, even at the barest touch of his lips against hers, and she grasped the back of his neck, pulling his head back to her. She sought his mouth, kissing him with such intensity that he groaned a little. Empowered by that delicious sound, Ella pressed against him and Oscar’s hands slid down her sides, tugging her hips closer still.

“Ella, oh God, Ella….” He pulled away from her, pushing her away from him a little further, his eyes dark. “Not that I disapprove, darling, but… not on the stairs perhaps? We’ll frighten the servants.”

She gave a shaky laugh, a little overwhelmed by the intensity of her own reaction. Glancing down, she satisfied herself that the entrance hall was empty, but she hadn’t even considered that it might not be.

“Come to my room, love,” he whispered, as her blood thrilled beneath her skin

Ella opened her mouth to agree at once, when the massive grandfather clock downstairs chimed the hour.

“Good Lord!” she exclaimed in dismay. “I had no idea how late it was. We must dress for dinner.”

Oscar groaned, a far different sound from the one he’d made just moments earlier.

“I’m not the least bit hungry,” he said, though there was hunger of a sort burning in his expression.

Ella stared at the fire alight in the tawny gold of his eyes as an odd, liquid warmth spread through her body. It began low, low down in her core and encompassed her from head to toe, heat suffusing her, a glow rolling over her skin like a wave she could do nothing to control.

She’d longed to see a look like that in his eyes, to know she was desired, perhaps even loved. Ranleigh had promised her she’d know it was real when she saw it. He was right. There was no faking that.

It was a powerful, heady sensation, and her confidence grew as she laid the flat of her hand against Oscar’s chest, smoothing it over the linen and silk. The heat of his body blazed through the layers of clothing and, as her fingers toyed with the buttons on his waistcoat, she was aware of his breathing picking up.

Ella looked up at him through her lashes.

“Fluff is dinning with us tonight. We can’t be rude,” she said, keeping her voice low and intimate. “But, after dinner… you may come to my room, if you would like to?”

“Send Fluff to the devil,” he muttered, frustrated as he tightened his grip on her hips and pulled her against him once more, highlighting how very impatient he was. She felt his arousal pressing against her stomach. “I don’t want to wait.”

Ella grinned, shaking her head with a slow back and forth, enjoying teasing him as he cursed and dropped his forehead to rest against hers. “Cruel, cruel woman,” he murmured. “Is this how things will be? Are you going to treat me in such an unfeeling manner now you know you have my heart?”

She started, staring up at him, all the teasing gone from her expression now as she gaped at him, too desperate to believe his words to play with him any longer.

“Didn’t you know?” he whispered against her mouth.

Ella shook her head, too stunned to reply. Her voice didn’t seem to be working in any case.

“Neither did I,” he admitted, his eyes grave now. “I didn’t have the slightest idea, but I do, Ella. I think I have for the longest time. I was just too afraid to see the truth.”

“Oh,” she exclaimed, about to throw her arms about him when he made a grab for her, holding her arms to her sides.

“Darling, I’m quite happy for you to tumble me onto pretty much any surface you wish, but I draw the line at stairs. I’m damned if I’m going to delay our wedding night a moment longer, but I’ve no desire to do it with a broken leg, I thank you.”

Ella laughed, too happy to do anything else, as Oscar smiled.

“Now, bed, or must we face dinner first?” he demanded.

She pulled a face and shrugged. “It’s not like I want to go to dinner,” she admitted with a sigh.

“Oh, very well,” Oscar grumbled, taking her hand and leading her back up the stairs. “But,” he added, looking over his shoulder at her, “Eat fast.”