There was a buzzing in my ears, and the only thing grounding me was the cool granite under my palms. “What does that even mean?”
Mom tucked a thin strand of her hair back. “I want you to know that no matter what, I love you. I need you to remember that.”
“What?” I stepped back from the island as my earlier anger seeped away, replaced by concern. “Why are you saying that? Are you sick?”
“I’m not sick,” she said, drawing in a shaky breath. “Evie, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it. I’ve only been your mother for the last four years. From what I know, the mother who bore you died when you were just a small child. A drug overdose.”
My brows lifted. What in the hell? Something was really wrong with Mom.
“And before you came to me, you had a different name, a whole different life,” she continued, her gaze slowly tracking over my face. “Your real name is not Evelyn Dasher.”
“Okay.” I bent down, picking up my bag as concern exploded in my gut. I reached into the front pocket for my phone. “We need to call someone. I don’t know who, but there has to be—”
“We do not need to call anyone,” she interrupted. “There is nothing wrong with me. I’m telling you the truth, honey.”
“Mom—”
“Your real name is Nadine Holliday.”
Every muscle in my body froze as the phone slipped from my fingers, falling back into the pocket. I lifted my gaze to hers.
“That was your name—is your name.” Her upper lip thinned. “But you were called Nadia for short.”
“No,” I whispered. My brain sort of emptied of all thought. For several precious moments there was nothing in my head. Nothing but the buzzing, which was now louder and more incessant.
“That’s what Luc called you. Nadia.”
A jolt traveled through my system. “No.”
“You were a very sick girl when I first met you. A blood cancer. And while some of the treatments we’d developed had been successful with less-invasive cancers, yours was very aggressive. You were dying, and Luc had tried many different things,” she continued, even as I began to shake my head. “He knew that we—the Daedalus—had different serums, but nothing he’d been able to get his hands on had worked.”
I backed up, bumping into the sink. This couldn’t be real. I was dreaming. I had to be. That made more sense, because nothing she was saying was possible.
“Luc came after Jason. He was going to kill him for the things he’d done to . . . all those innocent people, but Jason . . . he knew about you. Jason knew you were dying, and he was ever the opportunist. He bartered his life for yours. There was a new serum that the Daedalus had just designed, right before the invasion. We . . . we called it the Andromeda serum, and the Daedalus had amazing success with it. Jason offered the treatment in return for his life, and Luc . . .”
Her shoulders tensed as she exhaled roughly. “Luc was desperate. He had to be to let Jason live, because Jason had—” She cut herself off with a quick shake of her head. “Luc brought you here, just after the war with the invading Luxen ended. I met him in this room for the first time, in this kitchen. I met you for the first time that day. Jason had already told me what to bring.”
Nothing she was saying made sense. We’d lived in Hagerstown before the invasion—
Hagerstown.
Luc had said Nadia had been from Hagerstown.
A shudder worked its way through me.
“You were so sick. Just this small thing struggling for every breath and heartbeat, and Luc was near rabid when it came to you. He would’ve sacrificed everyone around him if that meant you’d live, and he did. In a way, he sacrificed you. He knew there was a good chance what it meant if the Andromeda serum was successful—”
“Stop.” I held up my hand as if I could ward off what she was saying. “Just stop. This is insane and impossible.” I started around the island, having no idea where I needed to go, but knowing I just needed to get out of there.
I couldn’t listen to this.
Mom rose from the stool, moving faster than I’d ever seen her do before. So fast, I jerked back with a gasp. She cradled my cheeks in her cool palms. “Listen to me, honey. You were given the Andromeda serum. That serum acted like a virus once inside the body. It attacked the cancer cells as it reshaped your genetic material, the very core of who you were. Like any virus, it causes a fever, an extremely high one. Most of our subjects we tested didn’t even survive the fever, but I cared for you myself. I stayed by your side, day and night—”
“Stop it!” I shouted, trying to break free. “Why are you saying this stuff? Why are you doing this?”
Mom dropped her hands to my shoulders and gripped them, holding me in place with surprising strength. “You lost your memories, just like we told Luc would happen. It was the fever, but you survived it and you . . . became Evelyn.”
Wrenching free of her grasp, I darted to the side. “Do you know how insane all of this sounds?”
“The Andromeda serum had alien DNA and now so do you,” she continued. “Not enough to trigger a retinal scan or simple blood work unless extensive typing is done. That was why there was no trace when Luc healed you. That was why he came to me last night. He wanted to know what we—what I had done to you when I healed you.”
“I have alien DNA in me?” I laughed.
Mom wasn’t laughing. “You do.”
“Oh my God.” Another laugh burst out of me, sounding brittle. “This is absolutely nutty, and I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”
“It’s the truth.”
“No. It’s some kind of joke I’m missing the punch line to.” I started around the island again.
You’re still so incredibly stubborn.
My throat threatened to seal up. I pushed Luc’s words from my mind. “And I just need you to stop—”
“I need you to listen to me.” Mom turned. “The moment you walked into that club, everything changed. Luc saw you and he’s back in your life now. It’s only a matter of time before he tells you the truth, and things are about to—” She took a deep breath. “You needed to hear this from me. Not him.”
I spun around, facing her as my heart kicked against my ribs. “This is not real. You’re telling me that I’m not Evie. That I’m this dead girl.”
“Nadia never died.”
“Yes, she did. Luc told me she did.”
“Did he say those words exactly?” she asked. “Did Luc ever say that Nadia died?”
“He—” I snapped my mouth shut and then dragged my hands over my hips. Luc had never said that Nadia was dead. He only said that she was . . . that she was gone. Throat dry and stomach cramping, I kept backing up. “It doesn’t matter what he said. It’s not possible. I remember me. I—I know who I am. How do you explain that?”
“You don’t remember, Evelyn. You just remember what I wanted you to,” she replied quietly. “We can’t implant memories, not yet, but the mind is an amazing thing. It’s so susceptible to impressions, and that’s what we did—what I did. When you woke up and after—after Jason was gone, it was just you and me, and I gave you the impression of Evelyn’s life.”
“Jesus.” I smoothed a hand down my face. There was a good chance I was going to be sick. “I don’t have impressions. I remember Dad and—”
“Tell me what Jason’s voice sounded like,” she demanded, coming around the island.
I opened my mouth, but I . . . I couldn’t. I hadn’t been able to in . . . I hadn’t been able to. “He sounds like a guy,” I said, blinking rapidly.
“Tell me what our old house looked like in Hagerstown?”
I knew what it looked like. The memories were there, but I was too overwhelmed to see the house in my mind. I had those memories; I knew I did. I just needed to concentrate.
Tears filled her eyes. “Tell me what I said to you the morning of the invasion and where did we go?”
“You—You told me that everything—” I squeezed my eyes shut. What had she said? Everything was a blur. “I was too panicked. I don’t remember, but that means nothing.”
“Honey, it means what it means. You weren’t with me when the Luxen invaded. You were wherever Luc had you.” She pressed her lips together. “There is not a single thing you can tell me about elementary school or your tenth birthday. What you have to pull from, the well you’ve drunk from these last four years, are stories I told you while you had the fever, while we cured you.”
Panic started to dig in with razor-sharp claws. “How is that possible? How can you stand there and tell me that I have no memories, or that the ones I do have are fake? That’s impossible. You’re my mom and I’m Evie. That’s who I’ve always been!”
Mom shook her head.
As I stared at her, a horrible, terrifying thought occurred to me. What if . . . what if she was telling the truth? There had been that weird sense of déjà vu when I first saw Luc in the club. There were all those times when Luc spoke as if he knew me. And the deal—he’d kept mentioning this deal.
Mom stopped in front of the island, placing her fist against her chest. “I’m still your mother. I am—”
“Stop,” I demanded. “I just need you to stop. Please. Because this can’t be real.”
“It is.” Her chest rose, and then she lifted her other hand to her eyes, making a pinching motion. When she lowered her hand, she dropped something on the island—two brown contacts.
My gaze flew to hers, and I gasped.
Mom’s eyes weren’t brown anymore. They were the color of the summer sky, before a storm. A vibrant, unnatural shade of blue.
“No,” I whispered, shaking my head.
She smiled as tears tracked down her cheeks, and those tears disappeared as the veins under her skin filled with beautiful, luminous light. The glow spread, seeping into her skin and replacing the tissue. Within moments, she was fully encased in light.
Suddenly I remembered when Luc had come into the house and Mom had lifted her hand as if she was about to do something. Luc had dared her to do it. I hadn’t understood then what was happening, but I did now.
Luc had known. . . .
He had known that Mom was a Luxen.
But she wasn’t my mom—not my biological one. I knew that now. No matter how much I wanted to deny what she was telling me. I knew enough about the Luxen to know they couldn’t have children that weren’t Luxen.
“God.” The room tilted. I felt faint, dizzy, and I couldn’t deal with this. I couldn’t process the truth that was glowing back at me. My feet were moving into the living room before I realized what I was doing or where I was going. Then I ran back into the kitchen and grabbed my bag off the island. I spun and went for the garage door.
“Honey!” she called out.
I stopped and looked. She was back to normal. Well, except for her eyes. They were still the eyes of the Luxen.
“Please,” she said again, her eyes glistening. “Please just sit down and we will talk. We will—”
“No.”
She took a step toward.
“Don’t.” My voice cracked. “Don’t come near me.”
She stopped.
My entire body trembled. “Just stay away from me.”
I pulled the door open, stepped out, and smacked the button on the side of the wall. The garage door groaned open as I yanked the car door and tossed my bag onto the passenger seat. Muted daylight poured into the garage as I rounded the front of the car—of the Lexus that had belonged to Dad.
But he wasn’t my dad.
Because if Mom wasn’t my mom, then he wasn’t my dad. . . .
But she was the only mom I knew, and I loved her. I knew her.
My hands were shaking as I climbed into the car. I started it as the garage door swung open. Mom stood there, calling my name, but I gunned the car in reverse. Tires squealed as I backed out of the driveway. I made it to the end of the driveway when movement out of the corner of my eyes caught my attention.
I slammed on the brakes and then looked to my left. “What the hell?”
A man strode across my front yard, a tall dark-haired one I recognized immediately. Daemon. What was he doing here? My gaze flew to the open garage and I saw Mom.
Daemon appeared at my driver’s door, tapping on the window. I hadn’t even seen him move. He was in the yard and then right there.
In a state of stunned disbelief, I rolled down the window.
He bent over, placing his hands on the open window. “Where you heading to? I doubt it’s school.”
I blinked once and then twice. Then it hit me. Daemon was here because of Luc, because of that Origin. Holy crap, how long had he been out here? I clenched the steering wheel as I stared into eyes that were impossibly green.
Mom was saying something as she walked forward, but I couldn’t look away from the Luxen. I remembered the look on his face when he first saw me at the club. I remembered Luc quickly shutting him up, but Daemon had looked at me with surprise. I’d chalked it up to me being a human. . . .
“Do you know who I am?” My voice was hoarse, unfamiliar to my own ears.
An easy smile formed on his lips. “Why don’t you turn the car off and step out? Go inside. Okay?”
“What is my name?” I asked, my knuckles aching from how tightly I was clenching the steering wheel.
Something flickered over his face. “Let’s head inside. You shouldn’t—”
“What is my name?” I shouted, my voice giving out on the last word.
“Hell,” he muttered, glancing toward the garage. “Call Luc.”
My stomach plummeted all the way to my toes. I didn’t want them to call Luc. I didn’t want them to do anything.
Pulling my foot off the brakes, I slammed my foot down on the gas pedal. Daemon cursed as he jerked back. The car flew out into the street, fishtailing. With my heart racing, I shoved the gear into drive and floored it. Wind and rain poured in through the open window as I sped through the subdivision.
None of this was true. It was too unbelievable to believe, too out there to even consider.
But Mom was a Luxen.
And she said I was that girl—that girl who Luc claimed had been his only true friend. The girl he’d admitted some ten hours ago he was still in love with.
That was the deal. I stayed away if you stayed away.
No.
No way.
I wasn’t her.
My name was Evie.
That was who I was.
I passed the entrance as I dragged in deep, even breaths, hitting the open stretch of road.
My name is Evelyn Dasher.
Tears blurred my vision as I eased off the gas. My mother’s name is Sylvia Dasher. My father—
Daemon suddenly appeared in the center of the road, several yards away. Screaming, I slammed on the brakes. The wheels lost traction on the rain-slick asphalt. The car spun out, and by some act of God, I didn’t lose control. The Lexus coasted to a stop.
Dragging in deep, uneven breaths, I watched Daemon start toward me. My hands slipped off the steering wheel as emotion boiled up from deep within, like a shaken soda bottle. I smacked my hands over my face and opened my mouth to scream, but there was no sound. Nothing came out. I pressed my forehead against the steering wheel, my fingers curling into my skin. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real. I dropped my hands, clutching my knees as my stomach roiled.
I actually might get sick.
“That was fun,” Daemon said, and then the door opened on its own accord. “But I need you to get out of the car.”
Slowly, I lifted my head and numbly unhooked my seat belt. I stood on legs I couldn’t feel as rain pelted me in the face.
“Come on.” His voice was softer, and so was the sudden grip on my arm. He walked me around to the passenger side. “My job was to make sure you got to school safely. Been a while since I played bodyguard. Not doing a great job at it.”
I got in the car. Before I could blink, Daemon was behind the driver’s seat, closing the door and rolling up the window. He shoved his hair, wet from the rain, back from his face.
My breath caught. “I don’t want to go back there.”
“If you don’t go back there, then you’re going to Luc.” He looked over at me. “Those are the two choices.”
I wanted a third choice—actually, I did want to see Luc. “The club.”
“Sounds like a plan.” The car started moving and he looked over at me. “Seat belt. The last thing I need right now is Luc losing his mind if you end up going through a window or something.”
“You stepped out in front of the car,” I reminded him as I buckled up. “That could’ve caused an accident.”
“I made sure it didn’t,” he replied.
Go figure. It hadn’t been my driving skills that had prevented a wreck. I looked out the window, not really seeing anything. Maybe that woman back there wasn’t my mom. Maybe a Luxen had assimilated her and she was pretending to be my mom.
Stop.
That was my mom. It sounded like her—smelled like her and talked like her. As much as I wanted to believe that wasn’t her, it was. So did that mean what she claimed was true? That I wasn’t Evelyn? That I was this other girl? That everything I’d known and believed . . . since, well, since I could remember, was a lie?
“You doing okay over there?” Daemon asked.
I closed my eyes against the burn. “Did you . . . did you know me before you saw me in the club?”
There was a long pause, so long that I didn’t think Daemon was going to answer. And when he did, I wished he hadn’t. “Yeah, I knew you.”
* * *
I left Daemon in the hallway downstairs and climbed the six damn flights of steps. I went to Luc’s door, closed my hand, and beat my fist off it like I was the police about to serve a warrant.
The door swung open and there was Luc. Hair damp like he’d just gotten out of the shower and still . . . painfully beautiful to look at.
Surprise washed over Luc’s face as he stepped back, letting me inside the apartment. He closed the door behind him.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” He’d changed from last night. Gone was the Henley, and in its place was a black shirt. I was guessing Mom hadn’t been able to get ahold of him. “Did something happen?”
I was never quite worthy of her—of her friendship, her acceptance and loyalty. . . .
Seeing him after what I’d learned this morning was like being smacked in the face and told it was a kiss. If what I had been told was true, he had been. . . . he had been—God, I didn’t even know. But it was wrong. It was beyond wrong.
I’d asked Luc about Nadia last night, if he still loved her, and he’d said—
He’d said, “With every breath I take.”
I didn’t stop to think. I only acted.
My hand shot out and my palm smacked across his cheek with stinging force. His head snapped to the side and then swung back. Luc’s pupils widened as horror gripped me.
I’d hit him.
I’d never hit anyone in my life.
And I didn’t even feel bad about it.
Red blossomed along his cheek. “Was that for last night? Because I didn’t leave before your mom got home?” He paused, eyes flashing. “Or was it because you lay there and pretended to be asleep while you wished I’d stayed?”
My hand cocked back again, but Luc was prepared this time. He caught my wrist and hauled me forward. Air pushed out of my lungs at the chest-to-chest contact.
“Hitting is not nice,” he said, his voice steely. “Pretty sure they taught that in kindergarten, Evie.”
“Evie?” I laughed, and it sounded even more wrong. Worse than brittle. It sounded near hysterical.
His brows knitted and then smoothed out as understanding seeped in. His mouth opened, but he didn’t speak as he dropped my wrist as if my skin burned his.
Words festered and finally boiled over as I stumbled back a step and kept going, until my back hit the door. “Why didn’t you tell me you saw my m-mom yesterday?” My voice cracked on that one, powerful word. “When you were with me last night, why didn’t you tell me you’d talked to her?”
He started toward me, his long-legged pace eating up the short distance.
“Don’t,” I said, voice barely above a whisper. “Don’t come near me, Luc.”
He halted, his amethyst eyes wide and endless. “What did she tell you?”
“Oh, let’s see. She explained that she didn’t give birth to me. Apparently my birth mom died of an overdose? Now, if I was simply adopted, that wouldn’t be a big deal, because a mother isn’t always by blood.” I dragged my hand over my hair, smoothing the strands down. The bun had slipped and was falling free. “But according to her, she’s only been my mom for about four years, and that’s kind of a big deal.”
Luc’s hands closed at his sides.
“And you know? I didn’t believe her, because that sounds bananas, but then she turned into a Luxen. Right in front of me.”
He closed his eyes.
A knot expanded in my throat and moved to my chest. “But you already knew what she was. Didn’t you?”
He didn’t answer.
“Didn’t you?” I shouted, hearing my voice snap.
Lashes lifted. “I knew.”
“Of course you did. And you know what else she told me this morning? She told me why I didn’t have a trace on me. Because supposedly I was given some kind of weird serum,” I said, swallowing against the knot. “But you know that, too.”
“Damn her.” Exhaling heavily, Luc walked away from the door and sat on the edge of the couch. “I didn’t know she was going to tell you. If I had, I would’ve been there.”
Knots formed in my stomach, twisting up my insides. He said that like he meant it, and a distant part of me knew he spoke the truth.
“Been there for what, Luc? Were you going to be there and hold my hand while she told me that whatever memories I think I have, I don’t? Were you going to share coffee with her while she told me that my name isn’t Evelyn Dasher?”
He looked like he wanted to get up, but he stayed put. “I would’ve been there to make sure you were okay. Helped you understand who you—”
“Don’t say I’m not Evelyn. That is who I am.” My voice warbled. “My name is Evie.”
“I know.” He softened his voice. “You’re Evie.”
My muscles tensed. “So, let’s say that this isn’t some kind of dream and it’s real. Why didn’t you tell me the truth? You had chances. Especially when you told me about her—about what happened. You could’ve told me then.”
“I could’ve.” His gaze searched mine. “But would you have believed me? Honestly? If I told you that you were really Nadia Holliday, but your memories were wiped, would you have listened to me or walked away?”
I inhaled raggedly. Truth was, I wouldn’t have believed him. I was having a hard time believing . . . Mom. Closing my eyes, I shook my head. “If it’s true, why did you leave me there—leave me with them? I was supposed to be your bestest friend in the whole world. You said you lo—” Unable to finish that, I opened my eyes again. “Why would you leave me with them?”
His pupils turned white. “I never really left you.”