Chapter 1

 

 

Five minutes before the end of class, Reed slipped into the back of the room and took an empty seat. He’d taken the class in his sophomore year and it had been the first time he’d met Dr. Caldin. Now the professor was his graduate advisor.

Dr. Caldin glanced his way but continued his lecture. The classroom was large and nearly full, with over a hundred students taking the required class on Abnormal Psychology. Most were paying attention, while a few were attempting to be sly while texting on their phones.

Dr. Caldin never missed anything. Without pausing in his lecture, he scribbled a note on the book in front of him, no doubt marking the trespassers. Dr. Caldin had each student sign a paper on the first day committing to no cell phone use, and those who broke their agreement saw their grades gradually tumble.

Reed hid a smile. At first glance the man appeared dry and quiet, and many students assumed he was an easy grader. Those who did were severely disappointed when they discovered he’d recorded every infraction throughout the semester. If they complained he merely took out the contract they had signed and gave them a copy.

Students that heeded the warning at the start of the semester saw an entirely different side to the professor. Affable and amusing, he was a staunch supporter for the diligent, and he’d helped countless students get into doctoral programs across the country. His word carried a lot of weight from his time as a renowned psychologist. But this time, Dr. Caldin’s comments shifted toward the end of his lecture.

“Abnormal behavior is frequently difficult to discern,” Dr. Caldin said. “But one technique is to observe a shift from previously documented behavior. If you examine your previous dating life, you might see several moments of abnormal behavior. However, the most interesting elements are not the behavior, but the catalyst that causes the behavior.” His eyes flicked to Reed and his lips twitched with amusement. “Always keep an eye on the catalyst.”

Reed stifled a laugh as Dr. Caldin dismissed the class with a wave of his hand. Then the students filed out. Reed waited as the mass of students gathered their books and laptops and departed, and then made his way to the front of the classroom.

“Mr. Thompson,” Dr. Caldin said, nodding.

“Thank you for making time to meet,” Reed said. “I know how full your schedule is.”

“It’s not a problem,” Dr. Caldin said. “But I must admit, I was surprised at your request.”

They walked to Dr. Caldin’s office and Reed took a seat in front of his desk. Unlike his classroom, which had posters of brain scans and interviews from famous studies, his office had pictures of movies from early cinema. Many of the black and white posters were of films written by Hitchcock.

“I’ve managed to compile a list of the remaining internships with slots opening in January,” Dr. Caldin said.

He retrieved a paper from a drawer in his desk and passed it to Reed, who leaned back to read the list of his options. He frowned as he realized that the paper was mostly blank, with only two items on the top. One in Denver, one in Cheyenne.

“There aren’t many that fit your parameters,” Dr. Caldin said.

“I knew it was going to be difficult,” Reed said. “I’m just glad there is something on this paper.”

“The Cheyenne practice is run by Dr. Gladman,” he said. “His practice is more pharmaceutical and deals with addiction recovery.”

“And Denver?”

“Dr. Borges,” he said. “They deal mostly with depression and anxiety disorders.”

Reed tried to keep the disappointment from his face. He’d known his options would be limited this late, but hoped for something in marriage and family counseling. Both of the potential options lacked appeal, but in his current circumstances he didn’t have much choice.

“There are a few other possibilities, but they are further out,” Dr. Caldin said, as if reading his mind. “Unfortunately, the nearest possible internship that does marriage counseling is in Kansas City.”

“Too far,” Reed replied with a shake of his head. “I want to be within a few hours of Boulder.”

“Are you certain?”

“I am.”

“I thought you might say that,” Dr. Caldin said. He sat back and peered over his glasses. “I’ve taken the liberty of reaching out to the directors of both local practices. Although it’s past the deadline, they’ve agreed to receive your application on my recommendation.”

“Thank you, professor. I really appreciate your support.”

Dr. Caldin’s expression remained sober. “I need to make it clear that, even with my letter of recommendation, your chances are slim. You are a gifted student and I’m confident you will be a great psychiatrist, but these practices are already well into the review process, with some applicants already chosen.”

“I understand,” Reed said. “I’ll reach out and submit my applications within the next day or two.”

“May I ask you a question?” he asked.

“Of course,” Reed said.

“The internship in New York is one of the most prestigious in the country, and they only accept four students each year. From what Dr. Dickson has said, you are the best applicant they’ve seen in years. Are you sure you want to give it up for Kate?”

“What makes you think I’m doing this for her?”

Dr. Caldin raised an eyebrow. “I’m not blind. Kate has ignited a fire in you—and it’s obvious to anyone you meet.”

Reed shrugged but couldn’t resist a return smile. “She has changed things a great deal.”

Dr. Caldin gestured to the paper in Reed’s hands. “Both of these internships are decent, but nowhere near the caliber of Dr. Dickson’s office. Going to New York will open doors to every doctoral program in the country. It’s obvious what you feel for Kate, but giving up on this will mean sacrificing your dream.”

“Maybe I have a new dream,” Reed said.

“Perhaps,” Dr. Caldin said. “But is your commitment shared?”

Reed considered his response and his thoughts turned to their most recent date, when they’d been playing pool golf. He’d watched her face, the curve of her smile. He didn’t know the depth of Kate’s feelings, but he wanted to find out.

“Everything in life is a gamble,” Reed said. “What matters is not the risk, it’s the reward—and Kate is the reward I want.”

“And if it doesn’t work out?”

Reed looked out the window and for a brief moment imagined life without Kate, without her smile, without her courage. His chest emptied of joy, and he leaned back in his chair, hollow.

“Then I don’t think an internship will help,” he said.

Dr. Caldin smiled and relented with a nod. “In case I don’t get the chance to say it, I’m glad I got to be your advisor. Your thesis is brilliant and inventive, and I look forward to watching your career.”

“Thank you, Dr. Caldin, for everything.”

He stood and offered his hand, which Reed accepted. Then Reed departed and made his way to his car, considering what he’d chosen. When Dr. Dickson had assured him that New York was all but guaranteed, he’d been elated. Now he’d effectively given up tickets to the Super Bowl to attend a game at the local rec center. But he couldn’t be happier.

He reached the parking lot and ascended the steps to the third level. Then he made his way to his car and came to a halt. He frowned and turned around, wondering if he’d left his car somewhere else. He walked up and down the row before returning to the empty spot, certain that it had contained his car an hour ago.

His car was gone.