I could have taken the cab back to the apartment the next morning, but Jonathan insisted on driving me home on the way to his office. In the car, he talked about his meetings with developers and lawyers, and one with an advocacy group that was giving him trouble. Suddenly, I remembered Sebastian’s text messages. Was the asshole causing problems? I hoped not though I wouldn’t put it past Sebastian to do just that. Twenty minutes later and with three more blocks to go before we’d turn onto my street, Jonathan changed the subject.

“I’d like to see you tonight, but I’ve got a meeting at 6:30 and I don’t know what time I’ll get done.”

“Just text me and we can figure things out from there.”

His expression grew serious. “What about the bruises? Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” I said before catching the uncertain expression on his face. “Jonathan, it’s okay. It’s par for the course. What matters is that we both enjoyed it. Otherwise, I would have told you to stop.”

He cocked his head as he looked at me. “Is vanilla really your safe word? Somehow, I don’t buy it. But I have to admit that it was a good reminder of what I didn’t want with you.”

“And there you go. It worked,” I said, chuckling. “I didn’t need to use it anyway. You were perfect.”

He made a left turn at an intersection, his attention on the road. “So, what is your safe word? The real one this time.”

“Indiana.”

“The state or the movie?”

“Indiana Jones, of course,” I said, smiling. “You do know who he was really named after, right? It wasn’t the state.”

Jonathan grinned. “Nope. His dad named him after the family dog.”

As he turned the car onto my street, I had to admit that as much as I enjoyed seeing the Dominant in him, I also liked to see him smile and hear him laugh. It made me believe I was giving him something he needed outside of the bedroom, something normal. I didn’t have much to offer in the way of intelligent conversation, but if he was okay having me the way I was, then we could probably work out even if it was only whenever he was in town. Besides, I liked Jonathan. I wanted more of his presence, his laughter, his intelligence.

I also wanted the feel of his hand on my skin, punishing me again.

* * *

Jonathan texted me at noon while I was looking at apartments in the Mission District. The area wasn’t on the top of my list of places to live, but Lacey had gotten some appointments set up and it was too late to cancel.

– What are you doing? –

– Looking at apartments. –

– Where? –

– Mission District. –

He didn’t respond right away which worked out because Lacey and I were done looking at the apartment on 18th and needed to hurry to the next one four blocks away. Our plan then was to check out the vintage shops on our way back to the car. Five minutes later, my phone blooped.

– Where exactly are you looking? What streets? –

His question made sense. Lacey’s apartment wasn’t exactly located in the better parts of the Mission District. I didn’t even let him come up to the apartment to pick me up the first time he took me out to dinner or he dropped me off. I didn’t want to chance a mugging.

– On Valencia between 23rd and 24th. It’s a bit on the hipster side. –

– You’re not a hipster. –

He sure was right about that.

– I know but the rents are reasonable. –

– What’s your budget? –

I hated having him wait for a reply but Lacey and I were in a hurry and I didn’t want to crash into anyone on the busy sidewalk while formulating my answer. I also didn’t want to talk about money, not with someone like Jonathan who didn’t have to worry about coming up with the rent for the coming month or year. While I earned a good living as a catalog model, it wasn’t a regular nine to five job. Some weeks I could have back-to-back modeling shoots which were good for my bank account, while other weeks, I wouldn’t have a single paying gig. There was also my lifestyle. Bruises didn’t look good on a model’s contact sheets.

As Lacey beckoned for me to hurry up, I knew I still had to answer Jonathan’s question, no matter how uncomfortable it made me feel.

– Under 1.5k? –

As embarrassed as I was to quote such a low rent budget, Jonathan was acting like a Dominant would, and it was something I was used to. Besides, I couldn’t crash on Lacey’s couch forever.

Other than my manager calling me about two modeling gigs the following week, my phone was quiet for the rest of the afternoon as I spent the time with Lacey. She and I met in college when I answered her ad for a roommate. She was on her third year of nursing while I was just starting out with my general education units. Two months later, a modeling scout discovered me on campus and I started working full-time a month later. By then, I’d moved out of Lacey’s apartment although we remained good friends. Unfortunately, I couldn’t maintain my GPA, not when I kept missing classes because I had to travel a lot for my modeling shoots. For a time, I was based in LA where I met Debbie, but always kept San Francisco as my home base.

I loved what I did. I loved traveling to exotic places and wearing beautiful clothes. I wasn’t too thrilled about the men I met while on the job. Some days, I felt like a glorified hooker with a much better wardrobe and a well-stamped passport. It was chaotic.

Discovering the kink scene changed everything. There were protocols in place that resonated with me. Dominants who set the rules were exactly what I needed–until they weren’t. Unfortunately, I kept attracting the wrong kind of men, the ones who ignored my safe word and my boundaries.

Lacey had been there for me every time a relationship went sour and she mostly kept her thoughts to herself. She finally drew the line with the bruises, the ones from men who went too far like Sebastian. In the three weeks since I’d crashed on her couch, she worried that he would track me down and hurt me. Now, she worried about Jonathan.

“Are you sure he’s okay? That he won’t hurt you? I don’t care how rich he is. I hear they’re even more kinky than the rest of them,” she said while we were checking out a vintage shop on the way back to the car. Her tastes were eclectic, and she went crazy over anything retro. Stepping into her apartment was like stepping back into the 50’s.

“We’re still getting to know each other.”

“Yeah, but you spent the night with him on the second date.”

I shrugged. “I like him. He’s actually nice.”

She gave me a look through her thick-rimmed glasses. “Don’t forget—you liked Sebastian, too. And he hasn’t given up, you know. He showed up at the hospital the other day asking about you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, right. He can keep asking.”

“That’s what I told him. That guy’s not going to give up, Sharon. You’ll probably need to have a different name on your lease in case he pokes around. I’m sure his nonprofit can find out where you live if he really wanted to.”

I sighed. “I’ll figure something out.”

“That man has control issues,” Lacey said, shaking her head disapprovingly. Then she laughed. “You know what you need, though? That guy who dropped you off this morning. Damn, if I had your looks and your figure, I would totally sleep with him on our second date, too…even the first date if he’d say yes. He was, like, hot.”

I found myself blushing, remembering how Jonathan had held me after our scene was over, apologizing for hitting me too hard. He worried about the bruising and the pain I’d be feeling in the next few days while he was out of the country. But if Jonathan knew me better, he’d realize he didn’t have to apologize for anything. I’d counted eight strokes. Hard strokes. Perfect strokes.

When everything was over, it brought clarity and a certain calm I could never explain to anyone. This was the reason Debbie had paired us together. Jonathan was a natural Dominant. He just had to find it again and claim it.

Master it.