Deacon

 

It’s been a week since Grace left, and I’ve walked past her room at least a dozen times. From the courtyard, I stare at the closed glass doors, the white curtains pulled shut, and remember watching her that night. The moment is frozen in time inside the memory of David’s camera. So, I take it. I print two copies and send one to her before I delete them and give the camera back. Women don’t affect me this way. Ever. Relationships are a luxury I don’t indulge in. But somehow Grace has wiggled her way inside my head, and I can’t shake the thought of her.

The Gateway isn’t greedy with their volunteer’s personal information when you make a hefty donation, it seems. So, her address wasn’t hard to get. It just took a few zeroes and a signature.

I need her to see herself differently. I need her to see me differently. She’s more than a pair of helping hands and a kind heart. So much more. Underneath the compassionate doctor who lives to serve those in need lies a woman who yearns to serve her man. I can be that man. I want to be that man. I crave her submission more than I’ve ever wanted anyone’s. But I broke her trust the night I made her feel like a fuck toy in a crowded restaurant, and now I must earn it back.

 

“You keep moving around like that, and someone might think you’re feeling better,” I tell Johan, who is currently walking towards my table. Breakfast and coffee on the veranda have become a peaceful part of my morning routine. Rays of brilliant orange spray across the morning clouds, as the cool morning breeze brushes against my skin, a sign that the ocean is beginning to wake up. I start my day surrounded by the beauty of the sunrise to remind myself that beauty is still out there. If you look for it. 

“Well, someone would be right. It’s a little sore around bedtime, but other than that I’m good as new. Thought about hitting the clubs later. You in?”

His sarcasm makes me smile. “If you’re talking about golf, sure.”

He laughs then pulls out a chair and unfolds the newspaper. Then he lays it flat on the table in front of us and points to the photo on the front page. Military forces line the streets, guns at their sides, as they claim their presence.

“ARMY DEPLOYED AS CRIME IN WESTERN CAPE RISES”

“Looks like your plan did more than set David free,” he says with a smile as he notes the headline.

I take a sip of my coffee. “We’ll see.” I’ve lived in South Africa most of my life. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

“I think he’s ready to go home, boss.”

Johan’s right. For the past week, David hasn’t ventured outside of his room and the courtyard. The swelling of his eye and ankle has gone down, and the scrapes on his knees and fingertips are healing without infection. But I want him one-hundred percent before I take him back to his family. They’ve worried enough already. I don’t want them to witness any physical evidence of what happened to him.

He still wakes up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. And he refuses to sleep in complete darkness. But overall, his spirits are high.

“One more week.” I place my napkin on my near-empty plate. “Another week, and I’ll take him home.”

Johan tilts his head and studies my face. “You’ll take him home? To Los Angeles?”

“That surprises you?”

“A little. I guess I figured you’d want me to bring him. So you could check on the farm.”

Right. Willem. “I’m sure my brother has things under control. I’ll only be gone a few days. Then, I thought we could take a break. Breathe before the next round.”

His eyes grow wide. “A break?”

“Jesus, Johan. Am I stuttering?”

He folds the paper and tucks it under his arm. “No, sir. A break sounds good for a change.”

I can’t remember the last time we took a break. I haven’t spent more than a few hours at a time on the farm in over a year. I know Johan is ready to see his daughters. His wife left him years ago. She couldn’t handle him being gone all the time. I guess we all make sacrifices for the sake of priorities.

“Good. I’ll make the flight arrangements this afternoon.”  

 

 

True to my word, one week later, on a Friday morning, Johan is on his way to see his girls. And David and I are boarding the first flight to California.