Chapter Ten
He was a fool. A bloody, besotted fool who couldn’t seem to mind his own commands. He’d told himself to keep a distance, especially after that incident by the brook earlier in the day. And here he was, running to her aid and comforting her the only way he knew how.
He’d sensed her anxiety from where he stood in Sienna’s yard while talking with his men. Immediately, he dismissed them back to camp and rushed into the cottage to be near her, to rescue her. He couldn’t seem to keep himself from trying to be her hero.
He wasn’t meant for comfort and soft caresses, especially when the relationship couldn’t go beyond the physical. He was meant for blood and ruin and war. He couldn’t have a lover who would distract from his ultimate goal. Yet here he was, holding Princess Mina in his arms like a lover would, pressing his lips to her hair, feeling her warmth like a balm to the soul.
Her delicate hands slid up his chest to cradle his face as she pushed back to look into his eyes. Starlight sparkled there, luring him to the damnable depths. When she looked at him like that, he was a lost man. Falling so fast he could hardly breathe.
“Kiss me, Mikhail,” she pleaded. Yes, the goddess begged for his mouth on hers.
For fuck’s sake.
He gave it to her. Gripping her nape, he descended, plundering her sweet mouth, nipping her overfull lips, tasting like a starving man. For her, he was starving. Ravenous to taste every inch of her. He crushed her against him, angling her just right so he could stroke his tongue deeper. A mistake.
She squirmed against him. Not to get away—to rub her body against his, making him painfully aware of his rigid erection pressing against her abdomen. Moaning with pleasure, her soft body responded too eagerly to his hard one.
With an agonizing groan, he gripped her shoulders and pulled away from her.
“What’s wrong?”
“Bloody hell. That was a mistake.”
Before she could protest, he swept her up in his arms and sped toward the small one-room cottage that would be her home for the time being. He had to get her settled into safety, then get away from her as quickly as possible. Where had all his famed self-control gone? One look from her and he became a besotted, stiff-cocked boy, ready to ravage her without a thought. He’d focus on getting her settled, then getting out the door.
He’d spoken to Friedrich before he and his men had left on their mission. The art studio Friedrich had built for his youngest daughter, Izzy, would serve as the most private abode for the princess’s temporary residence.
Setting her on her feet on the front step, he pushed open the door. A crackling fire had already been lit. A bed had been installed, stacked with pillows and heavy quilts. Other amenities had been furnished since he’d left—a wash basin, a bowl and ewer, a small vanity. He held the door open as she entered, glancing toward the main house, where one of the children broke into laughter.
Dmitri had told them of their arrival but had relayed the message that the princess needed a night’s rest before more introductions. Mikhail wanted to be sure she wasn’t overwhelmed.
“Come in,” he urged her more gruffly than he’d intended while he held open the door.
She stepped inside and perused the room, taking in her new home. She walked toward the bed and trailed her fingers on the green-and-white quilt.
“I know it isn’t what you’re accustomed to.”
“It’s lovely.” She faced him, one hand still on the bed, giving him all sorts of wayward thoughts. “Thank you.”
He scanned the room, hands on hips, and gave a tight nod. “I think it will serve for the time being. You’re only a short walk to Friedrich and Brennalyn’s back door.”
“I wasn’t referring to the room.”
Confused, he stared at her from the open doorway, forcing himself to keep his distance.
She clasped her hands in her lap, her back straight, looking ever like the genteel lady she was. Her lashes were lowered, the black wisps brushing her pale cheeks. “I am grateful for this hospitality, of course.” Her gaze lifted. “But I wanted to thank you for today…for what you said in the forest.”
Mikhail clenched his jaw, not sure how to respond, other than to say, “You’re welcome.”
“Captain, I’m not the sort of person who plays games or who ignores my emotions. As an empath, it is impossible.”
Her soft voice drifted across the small chamber, seeping into his chest like a hypnotic remedy for an ache he didn’t know he had. He’d never known anyone so forthright, so unabashedly honest in every respect of the word—in how she spoke, treated others, treated herself. When he spoke of her inner strength in the forest, she hadn’t denied the claim behind false modesty. That would be a lie.
The fact that he’d had to live behind a lie about his own family had twisted inside him for so long. A lie he was forced to live because the queen would kill everyone he cared about if she discovered the truth.
But this princess wasn’t who he thought she’d be. He’d thought to find a sweet woman who knew nothing about the world, or a jaded one who thought only of herself. Instead, she was this paragon of beauty—from the perfection of her face, skin, and body straight through to her flawless heart, unmarred by the bitterness of betrayal he’d lived with all his life. Even with her own personal loss, she never let it weigh down her pure spirit. She spoke the truth in every moment, in every way. And it hit him hard at moments like this. Where she sat demurely, sweetly, thanking him for something so little as words.
“It was nothing,” he finally said.
She tilted her chin, her glossy fine hair slipping over one shoulder. With a sad sort of smile, she whispered, “It was everything. To me.” She laced her fingers together in her lap, squeezing tightly. “I only wish…”
He should’ve said good night. He shouldn’t ask, but goddammit, he couldn’t. “What do you wish?”
Wetting her lips, she sat straighter, her eyes glittering by the firelight. “I wish there could be more…between us.”
Swallowing the jagged stone lodged in his throat, he spoke his own truth. “I am sorry. More than you know. Do you think it gives me pleasure to turn you away?” he asked, raising his brow as if he expected her to answer. She didn’t move, didn’t even blink. Shaking his head, he went on.
“Nay. It gives me physical pain.” His voice was ragged as he curled a fist to his chest over his heart. “Agony, if you must know.” He shook his head on a short laugh that was filled with bitterness not mirth. “You’re not what I expected.”
She remained silent, watching with those wide, sea-blue, honest eyes, compassion shining bright there. Or some other soft, heartrending emotion.
“I expected a princess. An uppity, perfect model of royalty. A distant, aloof sovereign who would gladly take my assistance at climbing even further toward her crown and farther away from me.” He took a step closer, hands at his sides, fisting them in agitation.
She swallowed hard, her voice broken. “I’m sorry to disappoint you.”
“Disappoint me?” She didn’t understand. “What I didn’t expect was you.” He gestured with a hand. “This beautiful, sensual creature who begs me to kiss her and who looks at me like I’m the only man on Earth. The only man who matters. It’s like I’m being pulled straight to hell…and for you?” He shook his head, unable to shut his mouth. “I would gladly burn for all eternity.”
Her mouth parted on a sharp inhale. He’d said enough. He’d said too much. Perhaps her honest spirit was infectious, for he seemed unable to even hold his own damn tongue when it came to her. He’d have to try. He turned for the door.
“Good night, Your Highness.” And it might as well have been good-bye. He’d keep his distance, emotionally. Physically, he’d guard her with his life. He’d yearn for her, yes. But he was a man of control, after all. Wasn’t he?
He pulled the door shut before she could say another word. He didn’t trust himself to resist her if she asked him to stay. He’d reorder his thinking tonight and remember how close he was to what he’d been planning since his father was murdered. A goal that would not only bring justice to him but to his entire legacy. To the Romanov family and who they were before they were forced to recreate themselves and hide their lineage in order to stay alive.
His whole plan hinged on Mina taking her rightful place as Queen of Arkadia, of helping the Black Lily alongside the Bloodguard, of winning this goddamned war. Even if King Agnar from the west joined forces with the Black Lily, it wouldn’t be enough. He’d already calculated Queen Morgrid’s numbers, using his resources to report the number of Legionnaires coming and going from the Glass Tower. His men in hiding in Izeling sent regular reports of the northern villages being raided—the men turned vampire and rabid with sanguine furorem, their women and children taken as slaves to King Dominik’s fortress, Dragon’s Eye.
He ground his teeth thinking of his mother’s home, Kellswater, one of the first to be ravaged by the butcher king and his men. It had broken Mikhail’s mother’s heart to hear that the village where she grew up had been razed to the ground, the people stolen away like cattle. Mikhail had been grateful her parents were no longer living to have witnessed such an atrocity, but it was little consolation for the poor bastards who’d been set upon by the king’s vampire army. Just one more debt the king and his witch of a mother would have to pay.
His thoughts drifted from their army back to the one the Black Lily and the Bloodguard had been building. The westerners were not a warring people. But the southerners were. Aristocratic lines who’d fought in the long-ago Thorn Wars and beat back revolutionaries time and time again, who trained and honed the best equestrian soldiers in all the land. With the force of the Arkadian army, they’d surely win. At least, they’d have a fighting chance.
That was why he must keep his distance from the princess, he told himself as he stormed toward the Bloodguard encampment. Every kiss he stole from her was another distraction from their cause, which was far more important than a lovers’ tryst. No one else had figured it out, but Mikhail had. Their success depended upon Princess Vilhelmina. His infatuation with the woman only muddied the waters, clouding what was first and foremost—the future of Varis.
So he’d keep his cock in his pants and his thoughts as pristine and clean as frigid, glacial waters in her presence. Even if the woman drove him insane with desire, he’d stay calm.
“Stay calm,” he repeated to himself, combing a hand through his hair, ruffling it in a very not-calm manner.
Downy snow flurried from the sky. Mikhail paused on the trail and turned his face upward, letting the flakes hit and sting his face. He needed it to cool his heated blood, his heated thoughts.
“Is that working?”
Mikhail snapped to a defensive stance, blade in hand, before he realized it was Dmitri. “Don’t sneak up on me, Brother.” He sheathed his dagger.
“I wasn’t.” He was leaning against a trunk, arms crossed. “I was waiting for you.”
“Why? Do we have news from Marius? From Cutters Cove?”
“Neither. I was wondering if you have news for me.”
“Regarding?” Mikhail rolled his shoulders and marched on down the path.
Dmitri stepped in line beside him. “Regarding the princess.”
“You’ll have to get straight to the point, if you have one.”
“All right. I wanted to speak to you regarding your intentions toward her.”
“I think that’s perfectly clear. Protect her till she takes her place as ruler of Arkadia.”
“Protect her? That’s all, Mikhail?”
He jerked to a stop. “What the hell are you getting at, Dmitri?”
Unperturbed as always, his younger brother replied simply, “I’m wondering if you’re falling in love with her. And if so, does that mean you plan to be king at her side?”
Stupefied into silence for a moment, Mikhail finally found his voice. “Are you utterly mad?”
“Not at all. I’ve never seen you this way around a woman. You would be a good match. Perfect actually, with our family ancestry. It only seems—”
“She’s destined for a royal throne.”
“As are you, Brother. And you know you deserve it.”
“Stop it.” Mikhail marched back down the trail. “We won’t go down that road. Not now.”
He didn’t want to listen to Dmitri’s logic, because he was absolutely fucking right. It was as if they were destined for each other. As if that simple blood kiss in the tower wasn’t simple at all, but an ordained tap from Lady Fortune’s wand, saying “finally.” Mikhail stared up, unable to see the stars above the snowy clouds. The heavens seemed to mock him. Or they were forcing him down a path he’d never planned to travel. Of course he wanted to claim his birthright. But this wasn’t part of the plan. She wasn’t part of the plan.
“Why not?” Dmitri kept in step. “Right all wrongs. That’s what you told me this was about. The Bloodguard. Our training. Our living away from our home and fighting these bloody rogues. Our alliance with the duke and with the Black Lily.”
“And it still is. That has nothing to do with…with bloody marriage, becoming king, or for God’s sake, falling in love.”
“Falling? I believe you’re already there.”
“I’ve known the woman a week.”
“You can’t take your eyes off her. Won’t tolerate any of us getting too close. This is more than lust, Mikhail, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t consider—”
“I’m the goddamned captain of the Bloodguard,” he grit out. “I made a blood vow.”
Dmitri sobered, his smirk slipping, showing his tender-hearted brother beneath. “You’re right. You couldn’t be both.” He clasped Mikhail’s shoulder in a rare show of affection. “But one of us will eventually have to leave the Guard.” Snow fell in soft flakes, catching in Dmitri’s black hair. “One of us must have a family. We can’t let our line die, my brother.” Dmitri rarely ever spoke with such heavy emotion weighing his words. “It’s too important. You know that.”
Mikhail exhaled a heavy sigh, refusing to acknowledge the truth.
The truth. Something Mina wouldn’t let him walk away from. This was too much for him to face right now.
“What I know is I need a good feeding and a good fuck. And that is all.” He gestured in the direction of the encampment. “You’re in charge of the men tonight.”
Then he tore off toward Hiddleston in search of anything, anyone who’d wipe his memory of the fair-haired vixen who did indeed already have her hooks in deep. Entirely too deep.