“I SHOULDN’T HAVE COME,” Sedona said. “It’s Sierra’s special weekend and I’m just going to ruin it.”
“No, that’s not going to happen,” Maggie said. “You stay right here with Sully. I’m going to make you a cup of tea. We just won’t talk about this right now. We’ll talk about it after dinner, when the house quiets down.”
“I look a mess,” Sedona said.
“You’re entitled to be emotional when your baby sister is getting married. Just go with it for now,” Maggie said, then looked at Sully sternly. “I’m trusting you not to get things riled up while I’m making tea.”
“Me?” he protested. “I swear by God I get blamed for everything!”
“I’m warning you,” Maggie said. Then she fled.
After a long quiet moment, Sedona spoke. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
“Old men and younger women are always getting in trouble one way or another,” he said. “I’m sorry to hear about your situation.”
“I’ll work it out somehow,” she said.
“I think it’s a good idea to talk with your big brother later,” Sully said. “After I’m gone.”
A tremulous smile broke over Sedona’s lips. “I’ve scared you half to death, haven’t I?”
“I’m gonna tell you the truth here, in spite of Maggie. I feel a real sadness that you have something to work out, and you will, I’m sure of it. I don’t want to minimize that. I been through separation and even divorce and at the time it was the darkest of days. But I got through it and I bet you’ll get through it even better than I did—you being so much smarter than I am. But here’s the thing. That little girl in there, Sierra, she’s like a daughter to me. She’s had a very hard time of it and she’s come a long way and she’s happy. I’d like it if tomorrow is one of her happiest days. Believe me when I say she’s earned it.
“One thing you’re going to learn when you’re older—life has plenty of troubles to fill the days. Sometimes it feels like there’s no hope, but just when it seems hopeless, some light will shine through. Now, you get a grip on yourself. We’ll get your little sister married and on her way, and once that’s done, we’ll focus on you. And you can trust me, we won’t go down without a fight. You believe me?”
She sat up straighter. “I’m a PhD in psychology and you know what? I think you just did as good a job as any therapist.” She sniffed back her tears.
“I didn’t say you can’t fall apart,” he said. “I just said you can’t fall apart right now.”
Maggie reappeared with tea. “Hmm,” she said, handing the tea to Sedona. “You look better.”
“I apologize,” Sedona said. “That really took me by surprise. I guess I’m a little emotional. We’re working through a couple of issues, like you find in any marriage. Bob is a wonderful, devoted husband. We just need a little time, that’s all. Everything will get back on track. Really, our family is known for ticking along perfectly. We don’t generally have these kind of issues.”
Maggie sat down. “Perfectly, huh?”
“I meant, smoothly.”
“We’ll talk later,” Maggie said.
* * *
The Jones siblings, Maggie, Sully and Connie had a great dinner together. Stories were told, laughter was loud, the food was outstanding. Connie and Sierra and Sully were all excused after dinner while the remaining group worked together to clean up.
But when it was time for Maggie and Cal to have a chat with Sedona about her problems at home, Sedona slipped away and went to bed.
“That was a little too obvious,” Maggie said.
So it was Maggie and Cal who had the talk. “Your sister is in trouble,” Maggie began.
* * *
Sierra woke up at dawn and jostled Connie. “When we go to bed tonight, you will be my husband,” she told him, the grin on her face as bright as the sun.
“You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”
“You can’t escape me now,” she said. “It’s only a matter of hours.”
Connie’s expression was serious. “Sierra, I’m going to be so good to you, you won’t know how you made it this long without me.”
She kissed him. “I already don’t know.”
They had a big breakfast and cleaned up the house, and while Connie went to Cal’s to see if there was anything he could do to help out there, Sierra took her time with her bath and prettifying herself. At about one o’clock Connie returned and his mother, Janie, and his younger brother, Beaner, arrived. After a brief visit everyone changed clothes and Sierra put on her dress.
She had driven to Colorado Springs to find the right dress and she was very proud of it. It was an off-white sateen that had a bit of a golden cast to it. It had an off-the-shoulder cowl neckline and was knee-length, and while it wasn’t tight, it fit snugly enough to show off her curvaceous figure. She wore her hair down, with a little baby’s breath in it.
“Oh my God,” Connie said in a whisper. “You’re so beautiful. I just want to undress you!”
“Don’t you dare touch this dress until we’re married! And then you’d better be so careful!” She turned in front of the mirror. “I love this dress,” she said.
“You hardly ever wear a dress,” he said. “You should. But then again, you in a pair of tight jeans kills me. In a T-shirt makes me weak, too.”
She smiled at him. “Connie, I’m a lucky girl,” she said.
They went to Cal’s in two cars. Janie and Beaner had been invited to stay over, but they declined, opting to leave the bridal couple alone. Cal and Maggie had extended the invitation to them to stay at their place but they declined that, as well. “We’re going to drive back tonight,” Janie said. “When this celebration is behind us, we’ll come back and stay awhile.”
At Maggie’s insistence, there had been help from a catering service. Hors d’oeuvres, champagne and sparkling cider were ready when the wedding party assembled and their reception dinner was being kept warm. Cal and Maggie’s table was extended and appointed with the caterer’s china and crystal. The patio had a trellis covered with flowers. Lined up on the patio table were all the flowers for the wedding party—the bride’s and matron of honor’s bouquets, a corsage for Connie’s mother and boutonnieres for the men.
When Sierra saw the flowers, the dining table, the decorations, she began to cry.
“Oh, honey, is it okay?” Connie asked.
“It’s so beautiful!” she said. “It’s just so perfect. It’s exactly what I wanted for us.”
When the minister, Rafe, Lisa, Dakota and Sid arrived, they were ready to begin. With Sedona beside Sierra, and Beaner beside Connie, they stood in front of the decorated trellis with the beautiful Rockies in the distance and recited traditional vows, with the exception of a few old-fashioned words like obey. It took a total of twelve minutes and then rings were exchanged and Connie took Sierra into his strong arms and kissed her long and lovingly.
“Are you sure it’s legal?” Sierra whispered against his lips. “That was so fast!”
“It better be because I’m never letting you go.”
“I love you, Connie,” she whispered.
“Sierra, thank you. Thank you for loving me.”
And with that Sedona let a sob escape and dabbed at her eyes.
A glorious dinner of Caesar salad, lobster, filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, baby green beans and a small wedding cake decorated with orchids was served. Both Elizabeth and Sully were perfectly behaved. And afterward, the remnants of dinner was quickly and silently whisked away by the mother-daughter team that had served them. None of the guests lifted a finger.
By nine o’clock the guests were saying good-night. Sierra and Connie were headed back to their home and dog, exactly what they wanted most.
* * *
Dakota helped Sid climb into his SUV. He started the engine and looked at her. “Did you have fun?” he asked.
“I did,” she said, smiling. “Your family and friends are a riot. I already knew I liked most of them, but this was as close as I’ve been. Lisa Vadas is lovely. Maggie is someone I’d love to get to know better. What a great family.”
“You look wonderful, Sid. I didn’t know you could get sexier.”
“I don’t dress up very often.”
“I was worried,” he started. Then he shut it down.
“What were you worried about?”
“You had a terrible divorce,” he said. “I was afraid the wedding, even a simple wedding, was going to make you nostalgic and maybe...unhappy.”
Sid laughed. “I loved the wedding. I loved the simplicity of it. It was amazingly simple and beautiful. Intimate. And fun. My wedding was actually kind of awful—maybe I should have taken that as a sign.”
“What was awful?” he asked.
“Well, it was far too important to David. He fussed over the details and needed it to be perfect. There were bridesmaid issues, he had family issues, there was arguing, bickering. You’ve heard of grooms saying, ‘Whatever she wants’? Our situation was just the opposite. I really wasn’t that into the whole thing but I wanted him to be happy and he had to have some kind of big party even though it put us in debt. I didn’t have family to pay for that and he certainly didn’t. It was exhausting and unsatisfying. It was pretty, though. I don’t know Sierra and Connie that well, but didn’t it look like a wedding that fit them both perfectly? And didn’t they seem so happy and ready to take on the world when they left tonight? I had a moment of envy. But I wasn’t melancholy.”
He reached for her hand. “Are you tired?” he asked.
“A little,” she said.
“I can take you home now. Or I can take you to my place. It’s just a cabin but it’s very comfortable.”
“I’d love to see it,” she said. “And maybe stay a little while.”
“It sounds like you’ve given this some thought,” he said.
“Haven’t you?” she asked with a lift of one brow.
He chuckled, putting the SUV in gear. “I haven’t thought about much else since I met you, Sid.”
* * *
Given the size of his home, it wasn’t necessary to show Sid around. She could see most of it from just inside the door. Dakota grasped her hands and pulled them around his neck. He kissed her softly, then ran his hands down her arms, her sides, circling her waist. He kissed her again. “Tell me if it’s okay,” he said.
“It’s okay.”
Massaging her back while he kissed her, he found a zipper and slowly slid it all the way down. He slid a hand inside. “Come on,” he said. “I want to fall into you.”
He walked her about ten feet into the bedroom, where he gently slid the dress off her shoulders and down, leaving her standing before him in a strapless bra and very small panties exactly the same color as her navy blue dress and strappy heels. He looked her up and down. She stepped out of the dress, stood straight and let him fill his eyes. He loved that she didn’t cower, try to cover herself or push away.
“Damn,” he said. “I knew about those legs, even if I hadn’t seen them. The jeans. You knock me out with those jeans. But this... You’re incredible. Do you know that?” One of the first things he noticed was a long scar on her right thigh, but it took nothing away from her beauty.
She just laughed.
“You are!” He hooked his thumbs into the sides of her sheer panties.
“Not yet,” she said. She pulled up his shirt and ran her small hands over his chest. “You’re falling behind. I seem to be the only one undressing.”
“I’d kind of like you to stay like this all night, but that’s impossible. I’d explode.” He kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirt over his head. He wriggled out of his pants quickly and she stared at him. With a groan, her lips found his as her hand ran over the erection straining at his underwear. Holding her, kissing her, he pushed against her hand. Then she slid it inside and his breath caught. “Now, Sid?” he asked, sliding his hand down the back of her panties. “Can we lose these now?”
She pulled down his boxers and he leaned into her, pressing against her belly. “Now,” she said. “Now the playing field is even.”
He pushed her gently onto his bed and knelt beside her. He lifted one leg and began to slide off her shoe, then kissed her from her ankle to her panties. “I’d love to leave these on, but there could be injuries.” He kissed the other leg, ankle to panties. Then he slowly slid down the panties and grinned as he gazed into her eyes. “A real blonde,” he said. He gently rolled her to the side and unhooked her bra, laying her bare to his gaze.
Of course, that left him naked to her eyes, as well. He leaned over her, kissing her mouth, reaching with the other hand into the bedside table for condoms.
“It’s been a long time,” she said somewhat shyly.
“Is this the first time since...before?” he asked.
She nodded.
“We’ll take our time. You can tell me what you want. Or you can stop me anytime something isn’t right.”
“I’m sure it’ll be right,” she said.
He slid a hand over her pubis and gently probed that sensitive place in her very center, pushing into her. “Oh, yeah,” he said, thrilled by her softness. “It’s going to be right.” Then he covered her with kisses from her lips to her neck to her breasts and then back again. Her small hands ran all over his back to his firm butt. Before many minutes had passed, she was straining toward him and he was holding back. The condoms still lay on the table and she said, “Please. Please get ready.”
“We could wait a little while, make it crazier,” he offered.
“I don’t want that, Cody,” she said, using his pet nickname for the first time. “I want you right away.”
He quickly got on it, opening up a package and stretching on the condom. Dakota knelt between her thighs and gazed into her eyes. “I want to see your eyes. I want you to see mine.” He slowly lowered himself, touching her first with his fingers, then sliding into her gently. “God,” he said. “God.”
Her hips lifted to bring him deeper and she began to move against him instantly, holding him against her, kissing him hungrily and whimpering softly. Dakota let her set the rhythm and then moved with her, evenly at first, then harder, then deeper and harder. She bit his lip as a moan escaped her and she froze, pushing against him. And he felt it, the tightening and throbbing against him. He grabbed her butt in both hands and rode it out with her, and when he sensed that she was nearly complete, he rode her hard, bringing her back to the brink again, making her come again. And he let go until his brain was empty.
She panted beneath him; he panted above her, covering her face with kisses. It took some time to calm.
“Are you going to ask me if it was good?” she said.
He shook his head. “I was there. I know it was good. It was powerful.”
“I could have been faking,” she said with a sly smile.
He chuckled. “Then you are a woman of many talents.”
“Oh, Cody, I worry that you could be habit-forming...”
“There are worse things.”
“How am I going to explain this to my nephews?” she said.
“Video games,” he said. “Tell them we stayed up late playing video games.”
She laughed. “You think they’d buy that?”
“Not a chance. But they’ll stop asking questions. Especially when you explain we like to play naked.”
“I wouldn’t want to give them any ideas. It’s obvious testosterone has hit our household. They’re becoming men before my eyes.”
He ran his hands through her hair, spreading it across the pillow. “Every time we’ve been together, it’s been a ponytail. I know that’s necessary—you’re always around food. But this is good. You’re so pretty, Sid.”
“Ordinary,” she said. “Plain.”
He laughed low in his throat. “Absolutely not. You’re beautiful.”
“Nah,” she said, shaking her head. “Thank you, though. I think you’re the beautiful one—you have the young girls chasing you. And now you have me chasing you, too.”
He touched the scar on her thigh and looked into her eyes.
“An accident,” she said. “I was hit by a car when I was nine.”
“A bad accident,” he said.
“I was on my bike. She...the driver...didn’t see me.”
“Looks like it must have been pretty serious,” he said, running a finger along the scar.
“Compound femur. Four surgeries. Infection, growth plate issues, a year out of school. But as you can see, both legs are the same length—I’m lucky. I think that’s the year that drove me into myself, when I became very shy and turned to books. I had a great tutor. And I also became very self-conscious. I had a lot of pain. I limped a little from pain and weakness. I couldn’t really run and play so I became studious.”
“It’s certainly not holding you back now,” he said.
“It’s ugly,” she said. “One thigh is thinner than the other.”
He kissed her. “You are so beautiful. These are the greatest legs I’ve ever known.” He frowned slightly. “Sid, you’re not paying attention to the guys in the bar—the cops, the firefighters, the locals. Their eyes light up when they see you. They’re all grins. I know you’ve been asked out...”
“They’re just being nice,” she said. “And we are all friends.”
“You don’t go out with customers...”
“I made an exception with you.” She raked his beard with her fingernails. “I’m glad I did.”
“Because I’m great in bed?” he asked hopefully.
“Because Sister Mary Jacob likes you.”
He kissed her forehead. “Excuse me for a second,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”
Dakota visited the bathroom. He suspected Sid’s ex-husband had not been a good person. He couldn’t believe she didn’t think of herself as pretty.
He dimmed the bathroom light so it wasn’t shining brightly and went back to the bed. He reached for her hand. “Come with me, sweetheart,” he urged. “I want to show you something.” He pulled her along with him to the bathroom. He stood her facing the mirror and thought, Dear God, what a sight. Her golden hair was crazy from making love, falling over her shoulders to cover her breasts. Her eyes were bright, her cheeks pink.
He stood behind her, a head taller, his big hands on her upper arms. “Look,” he said. “You’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. Certainly one of the most ravishing I’ve ever held in my arms.” He pulled her hair over one shoulder, baring her neck. He bent to put his lips here. One of his hands slid down her torso, past her flat belly, covering her pubis gently. His other hand slid around to cup a breast. “You’re sexy enough to bring me to my knees. Something tells me you weren’t told that often enough.”
Her eyes closed.
“I want you to look. Look at us.” He kissed her neck again. “Not bad,” he said, grinning at her in the mirror. He turned her in his arms so he was holding her close. “Want to go back to bed now?” he asked. “We can talk.”
She stood on her toes and kissed his lips. “We can talk later,” she said.
* * *
It was about 2:00 a.m. when Sid asked Dakota if he’d take her home. “I know you have an early start. It’s Monday morning.”
“Monday’s my day off,” he said.
“Oh, that’s right! And I don’t start until one.”
“I have a feeling I’ll have plenty of energy. You know where to find me if you get restless.” He held her close a moment longer. “Did you have a good time?”
“Hmm, the whole thing. I loved the wedding, the evening with your family, this. But I think we should be discreet.”
“Are you ashamed of me?” he asked.
“Oh God, no!” she insisted. “We just wouldn’t want people making a lot of assumptions about us, wondering if we have future plans, that kind of thing.”
“God forbid,” he said. “Don’t worry, Sid. I won’t embarrass you. You don’t have to tell anyone you’re knocking boots with a garbage collector.”
“Oh, Cody, that’s not it! I just mean... I don’t know what I mean. Let’s take it slow. Except when we’re naked. Then we can do what we want. Okay?”
He grinned at her and slapped her ass playfully. “You’re okay, Sid. I’m not going to advertise how I know you’re a real blonde. But damn, you’re hard to let go of. Maybe we should see if we’re still great together in bed. Once more? Just to be sure it’s as amazing as I thought?”
She shook her head. “All right,” she said, playfully nipping at his lip. “Even though I’m sure...” she said.
“It’s nice to be with you like this,” he said.
Until he showed up in Timberlake she was quite sure she’d never share intimacy like this with anyone again. On the one hand, she was relieved he seemed to know what to do, how to be in a relationship like this. On the other... “Have there been a lot of women?” she asked.
“I guess if you started counting with the first one...” he said. “I guess there were. I wasn’t looking for a permanent relationship every time I met a woman I really liked, but I wasn’t opposed to the idea.”
“Have you been in love?” she asked.
“I have,” he said. “Have you?”
“I’m no longer sure,” she answered honestly. “I thought I loved my husband. I assumed he loved me. When I reexamined that relationship, I’m a little embarrassed that I couldn’t see it for what it was. Obviously I was wrong about many things.”
“When you reexamined it, did you realize he didn’t treat you like he loved you?”
“Yes,” she said.
“I’m sorry. But you won’t make that mistake again,” he said.
“And you? Did you learn some painful lessons from being in love?” she asked.
He was quiet for a moment. “Yeah,” he finally said. “We’ll be okay, Sid. We’re going to enjoy life and be a little less alone. When it doesn’t work for you, tell me.”
“And you’ll just go away quietly?”
“How about we don’t talk about me going away so soon. But anything you want or need from me...”
“It’s taking a lot of willpower to get out of this bed,” she said.
“Yeah, me, too. But I’ll take you home because I don’t want you to have regrets, not even about leaving.”
“I’m really glad I met you, Cody.”
“Don’t call me that in front of people at the bar, okay? I don’t want anyone to pick it up, use it. I love it when you call me Cody. I don’t want anyone else to call me that.”
“Your brother and sisters...”
“That’s them,” he said. “That’s a whole other thing. But when you say it, it feels personal and I like it.”
“Then do me one more time, Cody. I love the way you touch me.”
“Good. Because I can’t get enough of you, Sid.”
* * *
It was 4:09 a.m. when Cal lounged in his favorite chair in the great room, his feet propped up on the ottoman. He had hoped to be wrong, but he heard a soft sound from upstairs and then the creaking of one stair. He had intended to do something about that creak—it was kind of loud. But as he heard Sedona sneaking down the stairs, heard her softly curse at the sound, then continue down, he made a decision. He would never fix that stair because he’d have a teenage daughter one day and the alarm could come in handy.
Sedona was carrying her shoes in one hand and her suitcase in the other. When she got to the bottom, she put down the suitcase, opened the purse that hung by a strap over her shoulder and began digging in it. He cleared his throat and she jumped in surprise. “Oh!” she gasped, dropping her shoes. She clutched her blazer over her heart in stunned surprise. After a few breaths, she said. “You scared me! What are you doing up so early?”
“I’ve been up,” he said. He dangled her car keys on one finger. “Looking for these?”
“I didn’t want to wake you.”
“What were you going to do? Leave a note?”
“I checked with the airline last night and they had an earlier flight they could put me on. I really need to get home.”
“Why?” he asked. He sat up, pushed the ottoman out of the way and put his feet on the floor.
“I have things to do. The kids need me to be home. Work needs me. You know, just... This trip was very short notice...”
“I called Bob,” Cal said. “You know—your husband.”
“Why would you do that?” she asked. “When did you do that?”
“Just a little while ago. I didn’t wake him. He gets up before five. He likes to run before six, before it gets hot. But then, you know that, don’t you? Sit down, Sedona.”
“Look, I have a flight and Denver is a long drive.”
“Sit down, please,” Cal said. “He told me.”
“He doesn’t know anything,” she said. “He has no training whatsoever and he doesn’t know anything. He has opinions, that’s all. And it’s none of your business.”
“How long have you been fighting this, concealing this?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“Your marriage isn’t in trouble because you’re a perfectionist. You’ve been fighting mental illness by trying to maintain control of your surroundings and the people in your life, but it’s not working so well. Bob blames himself, you know. He’s been so busy and he hasn’t taken you to see someone—he trusted you to do it. And you like to excuse what’s going on as harmless habits, but he’s found you in trouble too often, hasn’t he? You don’t sleep, you talk to yourself—or are you talking to someone? Someone the rest of us can’t see?”
“No!” she insisted.
“He said sometimes you’re a little out of reality. You have manic episodes. Man, is your house perfect, right? You’re confused sometimes. Forgetful? Or is that compensating—just agreeing with someone even though you have no memory of what they’re telling you? Jesus, Sedona, after what we went through growing up with Jed, why would you accept denial?”
Her chin dropped. She slid onto the end of the couch. She spoke as if she’d lost her breath. “I can’t do this,” she said weakly.
“Do you know what’s wrong or are you just afraid of what could be wrong?” Cal asked. “Bob said his terms were that you see a doctor or he’s divorcing you and finding a way to get custody. That’s what he said. Are you afraid it’s schizophrenia? Are you just paralyzed?”
“I’m functional,” she said in a pleading voice. “I have it under control. I’m not like Jed at all. And I’m not self-medicating! Everyone gets a little absentminded sometimes. Lots of women are perfectionists—it’s how we manage to be professionals and mothers and wives and—”
“That’s not what it is,” Cal said. “Bob doesn’t enjoy lining up the towels and alphabetizing the canned goods, but if that’s the price of peace, he can live with that. It’s the insomnia and paranoia. It’s the pacing around the basement and talking to yourself for six hours through the night that’s making him gray! It’s finding you curled up in a ball, sweating and crying, that he can’t take. You need treatment! You need medication! What the fuck is the matter with you? Our lives could have been so different if Jed had been willing to take medication! You have to see a doctor!”
“I did! I did see a doctor a few years ago. He confirmed what I knew, gave me medication that made me feel dead inside, but not better. And I’m convinced my way of coping is better than the drugs. I’m no threat to anyone and I manage just fine!”
“With rituals—walking forward and backward and in circles? Cutting vegetables in precise strips? Slicing meat in perfect pieces? Brushing your hair a certain number of times, doing everything a special way?”
She swallowed. “Don’t you remember how medicine broke him?” she cried. “How it reduced him to a completely emotionless—”
“Treatment is better than it was thirty years ago! You don’t have to be pumped full of Thorazine and dumped like a blob on someone’s couch! You’re a psychologist, for God’s sake!”
The sound of a door opening and feet on the stairs caused them both to turn their heads. Maggie was coming down the stairs. “In two more minutes, you’ll wake Elizabeth, and if you do, she’s all yours.”
“Sorry,” Cal said. “It’s an emotional issue.”
“Go put on the coffee,” Maggie said. She tightened the belt of her robe and sat on the edge of the ottoman facing Sedona. “I know you’re upset and terrified, but there’s no guarantee of his diagnosis. I always encourage my patients to get a second opinion, if there’s time. You have no idea what’s going on, and until you do, enough hysteria. Bob is absolutely right—until you see a doctor and get all the facts, you can’t call the shots. You could have a brain tumor for all you know.”
“I don’t have a brain tumor,” Sedona said. “I’ve run all the tests.”
“You can’t run your own tests,” Maggie said. “In this family Cal is in charge of criminal law, you are in charge of personality disorders and I am in charge of brain tumors. You’re a PhD in clinical psych, and from what I’ve been told, you specialized in adolescent testing.”
“A smoke screen,” she said. “Psychologists and psychiatrists are notorious for studying mental illness because they fear it and want a leg up on their own problems. I did the same thing. I wanted to be sure I wasn’t crazy. Like our father. I’ve studied schizophrenia since I was fourteen.”
“Well, you can relax now, Sedona,” Maggie said. “You don’t need the pressure of knowing everything. I know some of the best psychiatrists in Denver. I want you to stay with us or you can use my house in Denver. Probably not for very long, just until I can arrange an evaluation and possible treatment plan for you. I’ll walk you through it. I won’t let you fall. Working with the brain is a sensitive journey and requires patience. I will be your patience and your crutch. But in case you’re confused about what happened here this morning, we just pulled the rug out from under you. Because we all love you, including Bob and your children. It’s time for a diagnosis and treatment recommendation. This was what we know as an intervention. I don’t think you’ll find anyone to help you propagate your denial. And I’m pretty sure it’s not schizophrenia, but I’m no expert.”
“Why do you say that?” she asked, sniffing back her tears.
“You’re functional. Socially normal. One of the hallmarks of the disease is thinking you’re functional when you’re not, thinking your delusions are real and the real world is a delusion.”
“It’s just a mild case...”
“We’re going to let a medical doctor tell you that.”
“Do Sierra and Dakota have to know about this?” she asked, her voice soft.
“Well, not today,” Maggie said. “For today, on a whim, you decided to stay awhile. That’s good enough for now. Eventually you people have to talk, for Pete’s sake. You’re all skipping fearfully around this same gene! At least share your information!” Then she looked at Sedona more calmly. “How bad are your symptoms?”
“Sometimes very frightening,” she said. “Sometimes I feel pretty normal.”
“Tell me about very frightening,” Maggie urged.
Sedona looked down. “When I hear voices, when I can’t relax, when I’m paranoid and imagine people know what I’m thinking.”
“Anything else remarkable?”
“When the inside of my head is so loud and busy I can’t sleep, sometimes for long periods of time. And then, of course, the symptoms get worse and the sleeping aids don’t work. Then there are some that work a little too well and I’m afraid of addiction or of not waking up. I don’t think we really know how bad Jed’s schizophrenia is with all the pot he smokes.”
“I suggested that at this point it might be counterproductive,” Maggie said. “Sedona, those symptoms, while suspicious and disconcerting, don’t necessarily prove schizophrenia. You might’ve been describing an overworked, stressed-out, exhausted neurosurgery resident. I’ll make some phone calls today. What else can we do to give you some peace of mind?”
Sedona wore a hopeless expression. “I’m not sure I want any more information about my condition. I’m comfortable thinking it’s a light case that flares up sometimes, like when I’m stressed or tired.”
“But that doesn’t really sound like schizophrenia.”
“Jed had quiet periods,” she said. Cal delivered coffee to Sedona and Maggie. “I shouldn’t drink this,” Sedona said.
“Decaf,” Cal replied.
“What am I to tell Sierra and Dakota about why I’m still here?”
Maggie shrugged. “Tell them you and Bob are fighting, talking about separating, you needed some time away and don’t care to discuss it. It wouldn’t be a lie.”
“Right,” Sedona said.
Maggie smiled. “Also not typical of a schizophrenic. They usually say what’s on their minds, however bizarre it might be.” Maggie took Sedona’s hand. “I will find you a good doctor and I’ll take you there myself.”