Chapter Twelve

Tamatha

Screaming sent me scrambling out of bed and blindly tossing on a robe to get to Domino in the dead of night. While I struggled with the fight to accept my place at Benecio’s side since we’d been in his home the past week, Domino had blossomed. Tonight would be the first time he suffered from the nightmares that used to tear him to pieces. A second scream ripping into the silence made me spin around. It wasn’t Domino. Benecio jerked back and forth on the bed, sweat dotting his brow and his mouth twisted into a hard grimace.

“I’m sorry,” he moaned.

I slipped back toward the bed, afraid to touch him as he fought with the covers tangled around his legs.

“Please, don’t. It hurts. It hurts.”

His voice was a plaintive wail filled with pain I recognized. A sound I knew so well. I’d heard Domino crying for me, screaming for things to stop, and it was the same tone I heard now in Benecio’s voice. Ignoring my fear that he would attack me in his sleep, I raced to his side.

“Benecio, it’s okay. They aren’t there. You’re safe.”

He fought against my searching hands, slapping at my arms and chest, a move that seemed childish for such a powerful man.

“You’re breaking me!” he cried, his voice thick with tears, and my heart broke for him.

 “Get off of him!” I screamed, mimicking his panic to see if I could snatch him out of it. I’d had to do the same thing with Domino. I gripped Benecio under his arms and dragged him out of bed.

“Kick them, Benecio. Make them hurt.”

Blindly, he did what I asked, kicking his feet into the air and clutching to my arms as we fell to the floor together. He kicked hard at the bed, and the wood split under the force before I could get him further away where there was nothing but air to fight. We battled on that floor, against his demons, and he lost. Quaking, crying, grunting, and jerking, they had their way with him, and I couldn’t stop it. I choked on tears as he twisted and thrashed in my arms, as I watched parts of his body flinch, the way he swatted at the air around his face and behind him near his ass. Through it all, I held him and rocked, hoping I made it easier.

The door slammed open behind me, and I turned my tearful gaze to Nathan. “I can’t save him!” I wailed.

“Shit,” Nathan cursed, rushing to Benecio’s side. “Just stay where you are.”

I nodded, watching as Nathan laid on the floor and wrapped Benecio up against his chest, crisscrossing his legs around him. The hold agitated Benecio more, sending him into a crying fit, but his voice morphed, sounding older and more mature.

“Fuck you!” an older Benecio raged.

“Yeah?” Nathan asked. “Well fuck you too. You couldn’t save me if you fucking tried.”

“I will. Watch me.”

I watched, confused as to what was going on while Nathan held Benecio tightly through his imaginary battle, taking a headbutt that bloodied his nose. But the end of it all was brilliant.

“Told you I’d save you,” Benecio whispered, calming.

“You did, Benny. You fucking saved me.”

Nathan’s voice was thick, and I felt the answering tears clog my chest. Who was this man who fucked me in painful positions, protected my son with zealous fervor, saved those around him, yet could kill without remorse? He was a walking contradiction that confused and overwhelmed me. But as he opened his eyes, unease marring his features as he took in Nathan’s face—and me hovering over the top of them—I saw his fear. The small boy still trapped inside. He sighed, his entire body relaxing in our hold.

“Did I get to Rene?” he asked.

Nathan shook his head. “Your nightmare stopped with me.”

Benecio sighed, the sound shuddering through his frame. “That’s good.”

“She tried to help you fight,” Nathan said.

Benecio’s gaze wouldn’t meet mine. “That’s good too.”

“What happened?” I asked.

Nathan pulled away, getting up from the floor before he reached down to help Benecio. On his feet, naked and powerful once more, he was magnificent. But even though he’d been screaming his fear just minutes before, I didn’t feel he’d lost any of his power over me. I was on my knees at his feet, and he was in command. In fact, seeing he was human only made his control that much stronger. He’d risen from his hell, pulled his empire around him.

Benecio took a deep breath and finally looked down at me. “I felt the hell that Domino knows, and I erased them all.”

I knew he wouldn’t tell me more, I could see it in the way he shut down, but he couldn’t remove the image of him in pain, fighting to get away. Just knowing he’d gone through what my son had changed things, in so many ways. I now knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he’d protect Domino from any harm. I knew because that pain had touched him. So when he reached down for me to take his hand, I did so willingly.

“The dreams mean nothing, Tamatha. They are memories of times when I was helpless, but I’m not anymore.”

I slipped my hand across his chest as Nathan quietly let himself out of the room. “Nathan and Rene have a lot to be thankful for from you.”

“Yes, and so do you. It is how things are. I keep them protected, and they know swift retribution will come to anyone who harms them.”

“Is that what agreeing to your control includes, King Midas?”

Benecio smiled, a free, wild smile that stopped my breath. He was a fallen angel, tempting me with a noose around my neck and enjoyment in the fall. It wouldn’t hurt so bad when I choked to death, and the elevation of sensation as I fell to earth would be worth it all.

“So much more than that, Tamatha. You get to please me, and my desires will be sweeter because I understand the switch those who fucked with us flipped. Those like us can never love vanilla again. Missionary is boring. Just pleasure isn’t real.” His large hands framed my face, and in the low light of the room, his eyes glittered.

“Why?” I asked, confused. Why did it have to be like that for people like us? Why did our perpetrators still win because we craved the very shit which broke us?

“Because we’ve been elevated. Nothing good comes without pain, didn’t you know? We were chosen to understand more in life. Fuck them winning. Fuck them period. We are the exalted ones, and we enjoy the deliciousness of blood-tinged desires. The way to that path is irrelevant.”

“But they are still winning,” I argued.

“Only if you let them, and I don’t deal with weakness. Do you want them to win, or do you want me to own you?”

An irrational question. But a simple one. A matter of yes or no. To let them win, or give myself over to him. It was wild and senseless but made total sense when I stood in front of the master of a domain.

“My queen, or their whore, Tamatha?”

“Your queen.”

The answer slipped out, true and sure, even as I felt the noose tighten. When he smiled, he was the cat with the cream, and I knew I was doomed, but it was my step to take. His grin spread, and he took my hand in his before he stalked to the bed.

“Then make me feel better, my queen. Let me take the pain out on you.”

He sat down and jerked me over his lap, baring my ass. He palmed one cheek, and for a wild moment I wanted to beg him to make it hurt more than what they’d done to him so he wouldn’t feel it again.

“I’ll try,” he answered.

It was only after the first hit that I realized I had said it aloud.

I muffled my screams into the mattress as my ass melted in agony. My sweat cooled my flesh, each breath grounded me for the next strike, and my acquiescence made my king strong again. This was what it was like to succumb to madness, and I slowly sank into the abyss.