VEE

I spend longer than usual in the shower as I think about the last night’s events. I can definitively say I have never had a night like that before. Discovering I had one power had been a shock, and discovering I have several more halfway terrifies me. What if I can’t control them? How do I control them?

And then there was Ewan.

Omigod, last night there was Ewan. And kissing. And touching. And hell, so much more than I imagined would happen. I close my eyes and soak up the arousing memories as my hair soaks the water flowing onto me. Why don’t I feel weird about what happened? Yes, I wanted him, but I want Heath too. And Joss. Xander? No. But I’m in denial because I’ve imagined us battling out our conflict into a different, more naked direction.

Is this wrong? I’ve struggled with the idea since I arrived. I shouldn’t want all the guys but I do, and I can’t change that. I excuse my thoughts and behaviour by telling myself we’re not human, and we don’t need to live by anyone’s standards but our own. The issue is, there’re very human reactions happening between us whatever and whoever we are. The emotional and physical tie joins us as strongly as whatever else links us.

Now this has happened with Ewan, I need to talk to the guys about this. We need to be clear what’s happening and how we deal with the situation.

I head downstairs where the guys sit around in the large lounge room. I squish myself between Joss and Ewan on the sofa, and they both shuffle closer. Heath's in an armchair opposite, feet on the table, focused on his phone, and Xander sits upright in the opposite chair. The TV is off, and the nearby low coffee table clear. I’m still amused by Joss’s constant tidying. The early sun shines through the large window, the light picking up dust in the air.

"We need a debrief on what happened last night," Xander says and taps his phone on his leg. "Don’t we, Ewan?"

Ewan and I both snap our heads to look at Xander. A muscle in his cheek twitches as he continues, fighting amusement at our reaction, "I mean Vee proving she’s the most powerful person sitting in this room. Isn’t she? Heath filled me in on what Vee told him happened last night. At the demons’ house, I mean."

"Oh. Right." Ewan relaxes again. "Yeah."

Joss wraps an arm around my shoulders. "I think it’s awesome. If we harness this, we’ll be unstoppable."

"I wouldn’t get too cocky," puts in Heath. "Early days. How do you feel about what happened, Vee? Do you think you can control it?"

"None of us could early on," puts in Xander. "It’s a learning process." He turns to me. "Let me get this straight, Vee. You used mine, Joss, and Heath’s powers. But not Ewan’s?"

"Not this time. I felt you all but I think maybe Ewan’s harder." I smack Joss on the knee as he sniggers like a twelve-year-old. "Harder for me to tune into, dumbass. I don’t know. Perhaps I react with the powers I need to use."

"Hmm." Xander continues to tap his phone. "You had difficulty with Ewan, huh?" I glare at his continued amusement and he shakes his head at me. "Yeah, maybe next time Ewan’s power will come through."

"Maybe she has his computer skills?" suggests Joss.

"Ewan and her can sit down later and take a look at what they have," Heath says.

"More one-on-one time for them both?" Xander cocks a brow.

"I love that Vee has some War power," retorts Ewan. "She can balance out your attitude."

"Vee has something to match all of us," says Heath. "Maybe if she works with each of us, we can figure out how far her powers go."

I break my silence. "I’m happy this is my power. I’m glad I’m at the centre of you all; I feel it explains what’s happening between us, and I don’t feel crap about it anymore. Xander began to make me feel like I’d cause too much trouble between the four of you. Instead I think this unites you."

"One big happy family." Joss grins, and Heath frowns at him. "No, I mean it. We live as a family, and now we’ve a new member."

Here goes nothing... I clear my throat, like a politician about to make an important speech. "I need to know what's okay in this situation. We're all aware of our bond, and I have to be sure where I fit into that. You guys all love each other like brothers." I pause. "But I don't feel like a sister to you. I'm pulled to every one of you, and this is causing issues, isn't it?"

Joss shrugs against my shoulders. "No issue to me. You can have sex with whoever you like."

"I’m not just talking about sex!" I protest. "Physically and emotionally."

Heath places his phone down. "What are you talking about here, Vee?"

"I don't want to depend on you—any of you, and as soon as I let one of you closer than the others, I know the protectiveness and maybe possessiveness will join that. I haven't had many successful relationships, not just because of the truth/lie thing, but because I don't want to be defined as part of a couple. Here, I feel I'm part of you all. I care about you all, whether that's this supernatural bond, or more, I'm not sure yet."

"All? Even Mr Rude Bastard?" asks Joss.

I turn my head to Xander, enjoying his stunned look. "Sweetheart, I don't buy into that. They might all want a piece of the action, but I'm not getting involved."

"All good," I say. Will this man ever understand I know he's lying? "But please, can I lay this on the table? I have to live with you all, there’re strong feelings and mutual attraction. But I won't choose one of you. I can't be that. We can't do that."

"So what are you suggesting?" Joss asks, eyes shining with fun. "Are you going to put us on rotation? Two days of the week each? Maybe it's good Xander isn't interested because you'll have a day to rest."

He's only half joking, and I flick him on the nose. "Not. Just. About. Sex. But we're living in close proximity. Things will happen if we let them, won't they? I'm just saying, if they do, it doesn't mean I've chosen."

Jesus, I sound bad. Wrong even. I run both hands through my hair. "I'm as confused as you are. This behaviour isn’t like me, but then I’m not the old Vee, am I?"

Joss stretches out his long legs and places his feet on the table. "I already said I'm okay with whatever."

"Heath?" I ask.

He scratches an eye. "Logical. Not a hundred percent sure how I feel, but I accept what you're saying."

Ewan tips his head. "After last night, I'm not gonna say no. I'm here when you need me, whatever you need me for."

Heath's head jerks up. "Last night?"

Ewan looks over at me, and Joss pipes up. "Let me put it this way. She didn't sleep in my bedroom, Heath.."

"Oh." He blows air into his cheeks and looks down at his phone. I dip my head to see what he's thinking, but his features are unreadable.

"Ewan and me spent some time together," I say to Joss. "Interpret that how you want."

"I was going to say you have to be truthful with us about everything if this is to work, but I guess there's no need," says Joss with a laugh.

"I love different things about each of you," I reply.

Xander makes a soft sound in his throat. "Love. Bullshit. Co-dependency multiplied by four. Great."

"You're very suspicious of me, aren't you, Xander?" I ask.

"No. I just want to figure this situation the hell out. Can we talk about more than your romantic aspirations, Vee?"

I scowl. "I think this is important, and like I said, I’m talking about more than sex. I mean companionship too, how the synergy between us means we’ll always live together as five and never ‘two plus three.’"

Xander jabs a finger at each of us. "You know what's important? Tracking down the person behind the plot to kill Portia. Finding out how far our Mr Big's influence spreads because there's a lot of shit going down without your fours’ obsession with screwing each other." He shakes his head. "Heath. Joss. Maybe you should get it out of your system. Ewan obviously has. Both of you with her, or separately, I don't care."

Ewan stares ahead and I wish I knew what words he's holding back right now. I stand. "If you want to drag this down to that level, fine. But I don't think it's as simple as you say."

"Yeah? I told you the other night what the deal would be between me and you. That hasn't changed."

"I heard. Loud and clear."

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," says Joss and raises both brows at Xander.

Joss quoting Shakespeare—and correctly? I’ll add that to the list of this week’s shocking occurrences.

Heath huffs. "I think this is exactly why Vee's having the conversation, Xander. Now we know the score, we move on. She's here for important reasons, and we need to remain unified."

"How about we show her the picture?" announces Joss and receives a sharp no from Xander and Ewan. Heath shakes his head at him.

"What picture?" I ask.

"Nothing. Just something Joss found in a book when he was researching. It’s not important," says Xander, eyes on Joss.

"But aren’t we telling her everything? Now I know how powerful she is, I’m not upsetting Vee," he replies.

"It’s a bloody picture, Joss," retorts Heath. "It really doesn’t mean anything."

"Well, obviously it does if you’re all making such a big deal out of it." I rub my forehead. "Is it of me?"

"Fine, just get the book," says Xander.

Joss slaps his hands on his legs and stands, before heading out the door towards the back of the house. I’ve peeked into the room back there before—a study with walls lined by shelves and books I’m curious to read. I rest my head on Ewan’s shoulder and look over to the ever-friendly Xander.

"What next?" I ask him.

"We’re at a dead end. Time to start questioning some of the other supes," he replies.

"Supes? Oh. Like the vampires or shifters or whoever?" I shiver slightly.

"Maybe. Plus, Portia wants us over tonight for one of her so-called dinner parties," replies Xander.

Did I hear correctly? "Dinner party?"

"Yeah, don’t be fooled. She usually has an agenda when she invites us," says Ewan.

"Besides trying to get into Xander’s pants," puts in Heath.

Oh god, too funny. I’d love to see that.

"Guys!" Joss’s urgent voice comes from the direction he walked. "I think you need to see this."

All three jump to their feet, a well-rehearsed call to action as Xander storms ahead through the lounge room door. Heath puts out a hand to try to stop me following, but drops it when I meet his action with a filthy look.

I edge along behind them, and as we reach the front hallway I look between Heath and Ewan. "Front door was open," says Joss, who’s standing in the entrance.

"And?" asks Xander.

Joss screws up his face and nods to something I can’t see, outside. Xander pulls himself straight and strides over. I wait for his brusque instructions to us, but as soon as he steps onto the path, he halts.

Xander speechless?

Heart speeding, I follow Heath and Ewan, who barricade themselves together in the doorway so I can’t pass. I duck beneath their arms and immediately wish I hadn’t.

On the gravelled drive way, a body lies on the floor a few feet away, beside Heath’s car. I’m close enough to see a body that’s disfigured and bloody to the point I can’t tell if it’s male or female, or human. I clasp a hand over my mouth, fighting back a reaction that would get me noticed and pushed away from the situation. There’s no bird song to interrupt the silence gripping us all. I glance at the guys; their faces are expressionless. How can they not be moved by this? Or is this as close as they get to shock?

I don’t want to look again, but the guys’ continued staring draws my eyes back in the body’s direction. My scalp prickles and cold trickles down my spine spreading into my veins. Someone has smeared blood across the bonnet and written two words on the white paintwork:

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