TWENTY-TWO

 

Trouble in Paradise (Bay) (Sorry, I had to do it)

 

Libby

 

 

“Richard?! What are you doing here?” I say as soon as I recover from the shock.

Richard’s face is filled with emotion as he stares down at me. His silver hard-sided suitcase stands at attention at his side, and he's dressed in his resort-wear — a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and some tan linen pants with boat shoes.

Sweeping his left arm out from behind his back, he reveals an enormous bouquet of tropical flowers. “I came to beg you to take me back.”

My entire body freezes up with shock, and all I can think about is, what if Harrison comes by right now? I can't imagine anything worse at this moment.

Except Richard kissing me, which it appears as though he's about to do because he's leaning in and he's closed his eyes…

A gush of liquid builds up in my nose. Oh, thank God. I've never been so relieved to have a nosebleed as I am at this moment. It allows me to avoid kissing him and taking the flowers, which, for some reason, feels disloyal. And I know that probably seems insane since Richard has been my boyfriend for six years and Harrison for about twenty-six hours (is he even a boyfriend? I suppose not, right? Still…after everything we did and said to each other, whatever we are, it isn’t nothing).

I hurry to the bathroom with my hand under my nose, leaving the door open behind me. I grab a wad of toilet paper and stand in front of the sink.

“Oh, sweetheart, this is all my fault, isn’t it? I've done nothing but feel absolutely sick since you left. I tried to tell myself that I should just stay away after how I hurt you, but I couldn't. As soon as I realized you were really gone, I knew I’d made a horrible mistake. I don't know if you can ever forgive me, but I vow to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” He rubs my back and stares at me with a forlorn expression that almost makes me want to laugh out loud.

My only answer is a slight nod.

“Here, let me get you more toilet paper.” He dashes across the bathroom and takes the entire roll off the toilet paper holder. Ripping off a long section, he holds it up to me with one hand and simultaneously crouches sideways to grab the garbage can and hold that up with his other. “Ready for a change?” he asks earnestly.

I just may be…

I have to say this is the most attention Richard has ever given me over a nosebleed, and ironically, this is the one time I really want some time alone because all the synapses in my brain are firing at once and I feel like my head is going to explode. Honestly, I’m kicking myself for not having come up with a ‘just in case Richard shows up’ plan, but I suppose I was too busy sleeping with Harrison, then trying to figure out how to save the resort to bother to do that.

I allow Richard to help me swap out the tissue, then stand, watching him in the mirror as he talks.

“I have a confession to make,” he says.

I narrow my eyes, wondering if he did cheat on me, then swiftly realize how hypocritical that is, which leads me to the thought that actually, no, I didn’t cheat because he broke up with me before I got here — in a very shitty way, I might add.

“It really was that picture you posted of you paddleboarding that sealed it for me. I mean, it's not just the bikini — although I do love you in a bikini — it's that you were willing to change for me. You really heard me when I said how boring our life was, and I honestly didn't know if you would. It was just such an awful moment for both of us, and I wasn't sure how much of it you were actually taking in, but then I see you posting these pictures of yourself parasailing and snorkelling and paddleboarding, and I thought, ‘Wow, she’s just so fun. I need to be there with her.’” He pauses and just stares at me like a sad puppy. “Say something, sweetie. I need to know what you're thinking.”

“I need more toilet paper,” I say, my words coming out muffled.

He shakes his head. “Sorry, sweetheart. Here you are with this horrible affliction, and I'm just rambling on about my own feelings. If I'm not careful, you're going to start thinking you were lucky to get away from me.”

I let out a nervous laugh and say, “Yeah. Listen, if you could give me a few minutes, I’d like to get myself cleaned up.”

“Of course. Of course you do. Okay, I'll just go sit in the room and wait for you.” He nods repeatedly, then backs out like a servant leaving an evil queen. Shutting the door behind him, he leaves me alone with my panic.

Oh my God, what am I going to do? I don't even have my phone in the bathroom with me, so it's not like I can secretly call Alice or text her to get some advice. Think, Libby, think.

I breathe deeply while I wait for my nose to stop bleeding. Then I wash my face and brush my teeth — not because I want fresh breath for Richard, but more because I need the extra time to figure out what I'm going to say to him when I walk out there.

I stand with my hand on the doorknob for a ridiculously long time before I finally decide just to wing it. Opening the door, I find him sitting at the desk on the far side of the room, reading over my reports. It's always been a bit of a pet peeve of mine, because he tends to give me unsolicited advice even though he's never worked in mergers and acquisitions. To be fair, as a corporate lawyer, he does have a fair bit of knowledge. But still…he’s quite mansplainy about it.

“Why two reports with completely different conclusions?” he asks, furrowing his brow together.

“The first one I wrote up is wrong. I got some new information last night that made me rethink the whole deal.” Not that it's any of your business.

“Huh, well, that must've been one hell of a discovery last night for you to go from wanting to advise GlobalLux to back out to writing up a detailed plan for a major expansion project.”

Oh, it was one hell of a discovery, all right. Seven of them, actually.

I set my shoulders back and stare him down for a second. “Yes, the property owner had a hidden gem that really made all the difference in the value of the property. It was a total game changer.”

He shrugs nonchalantly even though I think he might suspect there's more to my change of heart than I'm letting on. Standing, he says, “I've actually got some stellar work-related news as well,” smiling as he walks over to me.

“Really?” I ask, trying to sound enthusiastic.

“I’m up for partner.” He stops, obviously waiting for some huge reaction from me he doesn’t get. “On Tuesday, Morris told me I’m his front-runner. There are a couple of tiny things I need to do first to lock it in, but both are basically as good as done.”

“That's amazing, Richard. Congratulations.”

“Congratulations to us, sweetheart. The bonus alone will be enough for the down payment on that house on Waldorf Lane.” He pulls me in for a hug, careful not to press my nose against his shirt.

Us? Waldorf freaking Lane? I’ve just been told everything I’ve always wanted is right within grasp, and instead of feeling elated, I feel…nothing. I’m numb. And that’s not how I should feel, is it?

Giving me a kiss on the forehead, he pulls back and smiles down at me. “It's everything we wanted, Libby. And Morris said I can take the next week off with you to celebrate. If you want to get married here, we can. I'll go out first thing in the morning and get the license so we can be married by tomorrow afternoon. Or if you’d rather wait and do the big church wedding, I’ll get Daniella on it immediately, and she can have the entire thing ready by the time we get home.”

I push him away gently and shake my head, feeling uncomfortably hot. “Stop, just stop. Less than a month ago, you literally left me at the altar and told me you didn't love me anymore. Now all of a sudden, you show up without any warning and tell me you want to get married right away?”

He looks taken aback. “I thought you’d be happy. You’ve always wanted to get married, and now I’m saying, let’s just do it.”

“That was before…” I say, gesturing out to the sides with both hands.

“But you posted those pictures to show me how much you're trying to change, didn’t you?”

I nod. “Yep, I did.” He’s got me there. A mere seven days ago, I was desperately trying to get his attention, but somehow everything changed when I got nothing back, and then…Harrison gave me so much.

Richard smiles and presses one palm to his heart. “I knew if you would do that for me, I had no choice but to fly halfway across the world to get you back. But if you need some time to let this sink in, that's more than fair. I completely understand.”

“Yeah, that would be best.” I slide on my flip-flops and grab the card key for my room off the desk. “I'm going to go for a walk. Alone. I need to think.”

“Absolutely. I’ll just unpack my things and get settled while you’re gone.”

He beams, and I stare at him for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly I feel for him. The only word that pops into my brain isn’t a feeling at all. It’s nothing.

 

***

 

I walk out of the building and straight down the path without even thinking of where I'm going. My feet take me to Harrison's villa, obviously, because my feet are attached to the rest of my body, which includes my naughty bits, which are clearly jonesing for some more of Harrison’s length and girth.

How can I be thinking about sex at a time like this?! Oh, dear, I’m in some serious trouble, aren’t I? I mean, Richard finally shows up and says everything I’ve been dreaming he’d say, which means I can still get my perfect life. All I have to do is say yes, and the entire thing will unfold before me like one of those origami swan napkins (you know the ones—you pull on the beak, and it magically fans out).

I knock on the door, not sure if I'm hoping Harrison will answer or not. Somehow, I feel like as soon as I see his face, I'll know what to do. I wait for a minute, but nobody comes to the door. Sighing, I start for the beach, hoping he's out for a run and we’ll find each other like we did once before.

My head swirls with everything that's just happened, and it's hard for me to believe that in the last twenty-four hours, I've thought I was maybe falling in love with someone other than my fiancé, and now I’m faced with a choice I never thought I’d have to make. My thoughts switch back and forth between Richard and Harrison…and land on Richard.

I think about how excited he looked, and how he was saying all the right things and doing all the right things and offering me the life I’ve always wanted. I should definitely say yes to him. I mean, it’s the safest choice, right? The responsible thing to do.

Plus, I know exactly what I’m getting into with Richard. He loves me — in spite of the whole wedding thing. After all, he did come all the way here to try to get me back. And if I go home with him, I’ll be returning to the life I know — Saturday mornings at the farmer’s market, fine dining, stability, my family and best friends nearby. With Harrison, it’s a whole lot of terrifying uncertainty, which quite frankly isn’t my comfort zone.

I should say yes to Richard. Yes to my old life. Yes to the dream house a few blocks from Alice and Jack’s, where we can raise our children. It’s the logical decision.

Then why doesn’t any of that sound even remotely appealing to me right now? Is it just residual bitterness from the wedding? Dammit. Why can’t someone just tell me what to do?