Addison

Max: How’s your day been, pretty lady?

I stared down at the text glowing back at me and couldn’t stop the grin spreading across my face.

 

Addison: We’ve had an amazing day. The baby just successfully put all the shapes in their proper holes, entirely unassisted. I don’t want to call it too early, but I’m predicting a prodigy.

 

I shifted Dylan from one hip to the other and set the phone down to pour myself a second cup of coffee.

It had been a long night. Despite having gotten to bed before midnight, I had tossed and turned until the wee hours, replaying every moment with Max in my head.

It had been perfect. Magical, even, as corny as that sounded.

My face literally hurt from smiling so much, and it was getting to the point that I knew I had to cool it before we went for our afternoon walk. If strangers saw me looking this crazy happy, they might think I’d escaped a padded room and stolen someone’s baby.

I took a long sip from my cup, expertly navigating it away from Dylan’s busy little hands. “No, no, sweet pea. Hot, remember?”

She gave me a three-toothed jack-o’-lantern smile and nodded once. My heart melted, and I smooshed a kiss to her smooth, plump cheek.

I couldn’t remember ever feeling this happy and satisfied with my life. Of course, the second I had that thought, a dull sense of worry burrowed in behind it, but I shoved it away.

Nope. I refused to be the worrywart who shat on everything good for fear of the other shoe dropping. Seriously, Max and I weren’t even an item yet. We’d decided to take things slow and see where we ended up. Even if it didn’t work out, we agreed.

Dylan came first.

I thought back to my interview with Max, and a sense of unrest swept over me.

That one dark cloud had been hanging over me this whole time, and I wished like hell I’d handled it differently. When he’d asked about my training and education, that had been the time to come clean. Let him know that, yes, even though I had enough credits to graduate, I still had one more class requirement to get my teaching certificate, and life had gotten in the way.

Probably, it wouldn’t have changed anything. I’d still have gotten the job and it would have been fine. Hindsight was as clear as day. But I’d been desperate and terrified to lose the opportunity, and now?

I shot a glance at Dylan and sighed. Now I just couldn’t take the risk.

My phone buzzed, and I set my coffee mug down to grab it.

 

Max: Speaking of fitting the right piece into the proper hole, you busy later?

 

It was followed by a hilarious-looking eyebrow-waggling emoji that had me belly laughing.

I tapped out a quick reply.

 

Addison: Very smooth, Mr. Alexander. As romantic as that was, I’m still pretty sore from yesterday, so I might need some more convincing.

 

I was still chuckling at our playful banter when the doorbell rang a couple of minutes later.

“I wonder if that’s the new changing-table pad I ordered for your room,” I said to Dylan as I sat her in her high chair and touched a finger to her nose. “Be right back, lovey.”

The skip was back in my step as I peered out the peephole. The woman standing there didn’t look like a UPS delivery person to me, and I frowned.

She was gorgeous. Dark blond hair fell in soft curls over her shoulders. Full, high breasts strained from a too-tight T-shirt, a pair of second-skin jeans clung to her curves, and her makeup was flawless.

I swung the door open and pasted on a polite smile. “Hi, there. How can I help you?”

The woman blinked her wide eyes once, then twice, before the answer hit me like a brick to the side of the head.

Dylan’s mother.

Until now, I’d always thought that Dylan looked like her daddy. She had his expressions and that same little dimple in her chin. But as I stared at the woman I now knew to be Jenn, I realized I’d been dead wrong. Dylan was the spitting image of her stunningly beautiful mother.

The air left me like a popped balloon, and I tried to think of something . . . anything to say.

Luckily, she saved me the effort.

“Who are you?” she asked, eyeing me warily up and down.

It took all I had not to run a hand through my mussed hair. That was, until I realized I was wearing a baggy AC/DC T-shirt and a pair of faded leggings I’d had since college.

“I’m the nanny. My name is Addison.” I opened the door wider and waved a hand to usher her in.

From what Max had told me, the woman wasn’t a psycho, and he hadn’t told me to keep her out. It hardly seemed my place as the new nanny to tell the woman who had given birth to Dylan that she wasn’t welcome, but at the same time, Max hadn’t said to allow her in either.

I cursed myself for not pressing the issue harder when I’d thought of it early on. He’d seemed so sure she was out of the picture . . .

“Hi, Addison, I’m Jenn. Dylan’s mom.” She stepped into the foyer and glanced around.

I followed her gaze and wanted to weep with relief as I saw the place through her eyes.

It was clean, but also looked lived in. The blanket fort near the couch and the makeshift pots-and-pan drum kit made it very clear that the baby and I had spent some fun time together, a fact that made me feel marginally better.

“I saw the resemblance right away,” I said, leading her into the kitchen, wondering if I was doing the right thing. “She looks just like you.” I shot a glance at the clock and realized Max would be home within the next half hour, and he could make that decision for himself.

Jenn squealed as she caught sight of the baby, who was playing with a cone and a set of colorful rubber donuts in graduated sizes.

“There’s my girl!”

I stood to the side, my stomach pitching wildly as I waited to see what would happen next, telling myself not to feel hurt no matter what. This was Dylan’s mother. Yeah, Jenn had left her here, but that didn’t change the fact that she’d carried Dylan for nine months and then raised her for the first year of her life.

But Dylan barely even looked up before going back to playing with her toys.

Jenn’s mouth went tight with what looked like irritation, but I was sure must be hurt, and I instantly felt awful for her.

“She’s probably just tired,” I announced with a dismissive wave. “She’s decided that two naps a day are for wimps, so we’ve been working through her cranky time in the afternoon. Dylan, your mommy is here. You want to come out and say hi?”

She perked up as I held my arms out to her and tugged her from her high chair.

Jenn held out her arms expectantly, but Dylan shook her head.

“No.”

This was getting more awkward by the second. I shot a glance at my phone, wondering if I should sneak away and call Max after all. I didn’t want to leave the baby alone with Jenn, but at the same time, I was starting to wonder if I’d made a mistake by even letting her in.

Jenn’s pretty face was flushed with what looked like irritation, and I held the baby more firmly to my hip. This was not the tearful reunion I’d have expected at all.

“Does Max know you were coming, or should I give him a call and let him know you stopped by?”

“I spoke to him last night, actually.”

That sent me reeling as a thousand thoughts attacked me at once. Why hadn’t he told me about her call? He’d had more than one opportunity, both last night and this morning when we chatted over breakfast and he’d given me a quick kiss good-bye. Even a text could have worked if he’d forgotten.

But he hadn’t forgotten. That would be a pretty big thing to not recall.

Which meant he’d intentionally hidden it from me.

There were only two reasons he would do that. One, if that call from her was something more than just a call and he didn’t want to hurt me, or if my feelings on the subject didn’t matter at all because I was just a quick fuck to him. And both options made me want to throw up.

The last remnants of joy drained away, and I cleared my too-tight throat.

“Yes, well, he mentioned he would be home early tonight, and should be pulling in within the next hour. I was about to start dinner. Maybe you’d like to play with Dylan and chat with me while I do that?”

She nodded and took the baby from my arms almost defiantly. For a second, Dylan struggled, and I wondered if I was going to have to fight this woman, but then she settled in.

“Aw, see? She just needed a second to remember who her mama was.”

I turned away so Jenn couldn’t see that her aim had been true and her pointed barb had pierced my heart.

She wasn’t lying. Facts were facts, but, God, did it hurt.

I tried to make small talk as I bustled around the kitchen, prepping chicken-and-veggie stir fry. It was a difficult task, though, as what I really wanted to say was never far from the tip of my tongue.

Who the fuck could leave this precious child?

How dare you come waltzing back in like nothing happened?

Can you please go back to wherever you came from and never return?

That was selfish and I knew it. If Dylan could have both her mother and her father in her life, that would be ideal. I had to put her needs before my own, no matter how much it hurt.

When the front door opened a few minutes later, I was a ball of seething emotion and an inch from tears.

“Hey, whose car is—” Max broke off as he stepped into the kitchen and his mouth dropped open in surprise. “Hi, Jenn. Uh, what’s going on?”

“I missed my little girl,” she said simply, patting Dylan’s bottom awkwardly as she squeezed her closer.

I watched the interaction more confused than ever. The way she was looking at Max, like he was what was for dinner, made me wonder if her visit here had been about Dylan at all. One thing seemed clear that made me feel marginally less horrible. He obviously hadn’t known she was coming tonight.

Max shot his gaze from me to Jenn and then to Dylan, who cooed with delight and kicked her feet. His puzzled face morphed into a smile as he set his briefcase down and took his daughter into his arms.

“Hi there, little bear. Daddy missed you.” He kissed her cheek and shot a warning look at Jenn. “We’ll talk after dinner.”

I should have taken that as my cue to go. Instead, glutton for punishment and not sure how to handle any of this, I stayed. The next forty-five minutes was a pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy as I watched Jenn fawn over Max, taking every opportunity to bring up their past together.

She was refilling his wineglass as she let out a peal of laughter so shrill, it sent a chill up my spine. “Remember that time we went to Cabo and you drank so much tequila, you climbed onstage to play the maracas with that mariachi band?”

He smiled and nodded, forking in some chicken and then pausing to give Dylan a bite of rice.

“I don’t, actually, but I have the pictures to prove it.”

“We had some good times . . .” Jenn trailed off and covered Max’s hand with hers.

“Okay!” I blurted, and then pushed myself away from the table, pasting on a fake grin. “So, I’m going to go make some phone calls and let you guys . . . do whatever it is you guys plan to do with your night. Jenn,” I turned and offered her a little wave, “it was nice meeting you. Max, give me a yell if you want me to do bath time with the baby.”

I ran out of the room like the hounds of hell were chasing me, but even at that, I still didn’t make it to my door before the tears started.

Shit, shit, shit.

How had I let myself fall so hard so fast? For Max, and for Dylan. And now it might all be over before it had even started. He didn’t seem receptive to Jenn’s come-ons, but be wasn’t exactly putting her off either. And none of it explained why he hadn’t mentioned the call, or more importantly, why he hadn’t pulled her aside and demanded to know what she was doing here the second he walked in.

I swiped a hand over my face and chewed on my bottom lip.

This was crazy. I needed to get a grip.

I had just managed to talk myself out of tears and into anger when there was a knock at my door.

“Come in.”

Max stepped into the room, and I sucked in a steadying breath as I took a seat on the edge of my mattress.

“Is everything okay?” he asked gently, his eyes filled with concern.

“Um, not so great, actually.” I tried not to stare at his muscular tattooed arms because all that did was make me wish they were around me, comforting me right now. “I’m just a little thrown off, and felt like I was interrupting family time down there.” I managed to bite back an acidic comment about strolling down memory lane, but it was a close call.

Not my place to say. None of it was.

“I’m thrown off too. Addison, I had no idea she would show up.”

“She called you yesterday. She didn’t mention it then?” I asked.

He had the grace to look ashamed as he shrugged. “I should’ve told you that, but it was a nothing conversation. Certainly not one that indicated she would be coming back into the picture anytime soon.”

I was a child who’d never had the luxury of having parents who lived under one roof. So, as much as it killed me, I had to do what was right for the baby. If that meant stepping back, that was what I would do.

“Maybe it’s for the best.” My throat ached, but I pushed through. “If Dylan can have you both in her life, she should. I don’t want to get in the way of that. Go back downstairs and enjoy the time with your family, Max. I have some things to do, anyway.”

He hesitated, raking a hand through his hair with a groan of frustration. “This is new territory for me, and I have no idea how to handle it. None of this came with instructions, Addison. Please, give me a chance to think it all through before you write me off, okay?”

“Last night was probably a mistake anyway, Max. It was a hot fantasy, and now real life is back, you know?”

He drew back and his face went tense, but he didn’t reply.

“Go ahead, go back down and be with your daughter and her mother. We can talk another time.”

I turned away and closed my eyes, not opening them again until the door closed a minute later. Then I dropped my face to the bed and screamed hoarsely into the pillow.

So what if Max had given me a couple of orgasms? None of that mattered now. It wasn’t like I was his girlfriend or we’d made promises. I was just the nanny.

And it was time I started remembering that.