CHAPTER TEN
At the end of the evening, when Pauline had returned to our cottage and Enzo and Gwyneth had left for the night, I wearily scraped at the last empty stew pot. Some crusted remains were stubbornly stuck to its bottom.
I felt like I was back at the citadelle and had been sent to my bedchamber once again. Memories of my most recent banishment taunted me, and I blinked back tears. I will not tell you again, Arabella, you are to hold your tongue! my father had blustered, his face red, and I had wondered if he would hit me, but he had only stormed from my room. We’d been at a court dinner, my father’s entire cabinet present. The Chancellor had sat across from me wearing his silver-trimmed coat, with his knuckles so bejeweled I wondered if he had trouble lifting his fork. When the conversation turned toward trimming budgets and drunken jests of doubling soldiers up on horses, I chimed in that if the cabinet pooled their jewels and baubles, maybe the treasury would have a surplus. Of course I looked at the Chancellor and raised my glass to him to make sure my point wasn’t lost on their ale-soaked minds. It was a truth my father hadn’t wanted to hear, at least not from me.
I heard a rustle and glanced up to see a very tired Berdi shuffle into the kitchen. I redoubled my efforts on the pot. She walked over and stood silently by my side. I waited for her to berate me again, but instead she lifted my chin so I had to look at her and said softly that I had had every right to chastise the soldier harshly and she was glad that I did.
“But harsh words coming from a young woman like you, as opposed to an old crone like me, are more likely to ignite egos rather than tame them. You need to be careful. I was as worried for you as I was for me. That doesn’t mean the words didn’t need to be said, and you said them well. I’m sorry.”
My throat tightened. In all the times I had spoken my mind with my parents, I had never been told I said anything well, much less heard any shred of apology. I blinked, wishing I had an onion now to explain my stinging eyes. Berdi drew me into her arms and held me, giving me a chance to compose myself.
“It’s been a long day,” she whispered. “Go. Rest. I’ll finish up here.”
I nodded, still not trusting myself to speak.
I closed the kitchen door behind me and made my way up the steps carved into the hillside behind the tavern. The night was still, and the moon peeked in and out through ribbons of foggy mist rolling up from the bay. In spite of the chill, I was warmed by Berdi’s words.
When I reached the last step, I pulled my cap from my head, letting my hair tumble to my shoulders, feeling full and satisfied as I again turned over what she had said. I headed down the trail, with the faint golden glow of the cottage window serving as my beacon. Pauline was probably already deep in slumber, basking in dreams of Mikael and his arms holding her so tightly she never had to worry about him leaving her again.
I sighed as I made my way down the dark trail. My dreams were of the dull and boring variety if I remembered them at all and certainly were never of arms holding me. Those kind of dreams I had to conjure to life when I was awake. A salty breeze stirred the leaves in front of me, and I rubbed my arms to warm them.
“Lia.”
I jumped, drawing in a sharp breath.
“Shh. It’s only me.” Kaden stepped out from the shadow of a large oak. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
I froze. “What are you doing here?”
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
He walked closer. He may have been harmless enough in the tavern, but what business did he have out here in the dark with me? My slim dagger was still tucked beneath my jerkin. I hugged my arms to my sides, feeling it beneath the fabric, and took a step backward.
He noted my move and stopped. “I just wanted to make sure you made it home safely,” he said. “I know soldiers like the one you humiliated in the tavern. Their memories are long, and their egos large.” He smiled hesitantly. “And I suppose I wanted to tell you I admired the show. I didn’t really convey my appreciation earlier.” He paused, and when I still didn’t respond, he added, “May I walk you the rest of the way?”
He offered his arm, but I didn’t take it. “You’ve been waiting all this time? I thought you’d be down the road by now.”
“I’m staying here. There weren’t any rooms available, but the innkeeper graciously offered the barn loft. A soft mattress is a welcome change from a dusty bedroll.” He shrugged and added, “Even if I have to listen to a complaining donkey or two.”
So he was a guest of the inn, and a considerate one at that. Also a paying customer who should rightfully be staying in our cozy but leaky cottage. My arms relaxed at my sides. “And your friend?”
“My friend?” He tilted his head to the side, boyish, instantly taking years off his studied body language. He raked a stray blond lock back with his fingers. “Oh, him. He’s staying too.”
He wasn’t a pelt trader, of that much I was certain. Parting animals from their skins wasn’t his specialty. His movements were quiet and deliberate as might befit a hunter, but his eyes … his eyes. They were warm and smoky, and turbulence stirred just below their deceptively calm surface. They were used to a different kind of life, though I couldn’t imagine what it might be.
“What brings you to Terravin?” I asked.
Before I could react, his hand reached out and grabbed mine. “Let me walk you to your cottage,” he said. “And I’ll tell you about—”
“Kaden?”
I pulled my hand away, and we turned to the voice that called out from the darkness. The black silhouette of Rafe, just a short distance down the path, was unmistakable. He had come upon us with no warning, his movement as stealthy as a cat. His features came into view as he ambled closer.
“What is it?” Kaden asked, his tone thick with bother.
“That skittish broodmare of yours is kicking in her stall. Before she does real damage, you—”
“Stallion,” Kaden corrected. “He was fine when I left him.”
Rafe shrugged. “He isn’t fine now. Jittery with the new accommodations, I suppose.”
Oh, he was full of himself.
Kaden shook his head and set off in a huff, for which I was grateful. Berdi would not be happy with a demolished stall, not to mention I was worried how my docile Otto, Nove, and Dieci might fare with such a destructive neighbor. I had grown quite fond of them. They were outside in an adjacent covered stall, but only a thin wooden wall separated them from the animals housed in the barn.
In seconds, Kaden was gone, and Rafe and I were left awkwardly alone, a slight breeze stirring the fallen leaves between us. I pushed the hair from my face and noted his changed appearance. His hair was neatly combed and tied back, and his freshly scrubbed face gleamed in the dim moonlight. His cheekbones were sharp and tanned, and his shirt newly changed. He remained perfectly content to silently stare at me. It seemed to be a habit of his.
“You couldn’t calm his horse down yourself?” I finally said.
A smirk lifted the corner of his mouth, but he only answered with a question of his own.
“What did Kaden want?”
“Only to be sure I made it safely back to my cottage. He was concerned about the soldier from the tavern.”
“He’s right. The woods can be dangerous—especially when you’re alone.”
Was he deliberately trying to intimidate me? “I’m hardly alone. And we’re not exactly deep in the woods. There are plenty of people within earshot.”
“Are there?” He looked around as if he was trying to see the people I spoke of and then his eyes settled on me once again. A knot twisted beneath my ribs.
He took a step closer. “Of course you do have that little knife tucked beneath your vest.”
My dagger? How does he know? It was sheathed snugly at my side. Had I revealed it by absently touching it? I noted that he was a head taller than me. I lifted my chin.
“Not so little,” I said. “A six-inch blade. Long enough to kill someone if used skillfully.”
“And you’re skilled?”
Only with a nonmoving target like a chamber door. “Very,” I answered.
He didn’t respond, as though my blade and professed skills didn’t impress him.
“Well, good night, then.” I turned to leave.
“Lia, wait.”
I stopped, my back still toward him. Good sense told me to keep moving. Go, Lia. Move on. I heard a lifetime of warnings. My mother. Father. Brothers. Even the Scholar. Everyone who hedged me before and behind for good or bad. Keep moving.
But I didn’t. Maybe it was his voice. Maybe it was hearing him say my name. Or maybe I was still feeling full from knowing that sometimes I was right, that sometimes my impulsive gut might lead me into danger, but that didn’t make it any less the right direction to go. Maybe it was feeling the impossible was about to happen. Dread and anticipation tangled together.
I turned and met his gaze, feeling the danger of it, the heat, but not willing to look away. I waited for him to speak. He took another step closer, the space between us closing to a mere few feet. He lifted his hand toward me, and I took a shaky step back but saw he was only holding my cap. “You dropped this.”
He held it out, steady, waiting for me to take it, bits of crushed leaves still clinging to its gauzy lace.
“Thank you,” I whispered, and reached out to take it from him, my fingertips brushing his, but he held it tight. His skin seared against the cool of mine. I looked into his eyes, questioning his grip, and for the first time I saw a chink in his armor, his usual steely expression softened by a crease between his brows, a moment of indecision washing over his face, and then an ever so slight rise in his chest—a deeper breath, as if I’d caught him off guard.
“I have it,” I said. “You can let go.”
He released his grip, bid me a hasty good night, then abruptly turned and disappeared back down the path.
He was unsettled. I had knocked him off kilter. More than seeing this, I had felt it, his disquiet palpable on my skin, tickling at my neck. How? What had I done? I didn’t know, but I stared into the black hollows of the path where he disappeared until the wind rattled the branches above me, reminding me it was late, I was alone, and the woods were very dark.