I feel the tickle of magic against my skin as we cross back into the boundaries of Solace. I don’t know how long we’ve been gone, but it’s been enough time for my world to implode completely. That seems to be a running theme for me these days, world implosion. I can’t seem to go more than a handful of days without something or someone ripping me or everything I know apart, and too often both happen simultaneously. I’ve been soldiering through, making the best of what I’ve been dealt, but this, all of it, it’s too much. I’ve reached my limit of shit I can deal with.

I feel us turn off from whatever road we’ve been driving down for a while now. I’m not sure where we’re going, and I can’t be bothered to sit up and see for myself. Kallan and Nash were trying to fill the heavy silence in the car, but they’ve long since stopped. Now we all sit quietly, trapped in our own thoughts and memories, exhausted, drained, and processing. Another tingle of magic brushes over me, but this one speaks to me in a way the others didn’t. I would know the feel of it anywhere.

“Why here?” I ask, my voice dry and raw. It’s the first time I’ve spoken since Talon died, and I’m not sure if anyone even heard me or will answer.

“It was the closest secured property between where we were coming from, and where everyone’s covens are located," Enoch answers me.

I offhandedly wonder how he knows this. Maybe it’s some kind of protocol, to meet in the middle when required. We come to a stop, and I blanch; I’m not ready for what comes next. I’m not ready to soldier on and make the best of things. My armor is damaged, weak, and I can’t go into battle that way. I can’t win a fight when I have nothing left inside to fight with.

I hear shouts and people scrambling towards our car. None of us move, I must not be the only one trying to fortify my defenses. Doors are wrenched open, and the chaos outside comes swirling in to find us. I hear relieved shouts and questions shooting rapid-fire at no one and everyone at the same time.

“Where is she?”

The question bellows over it all, smothering the less significant noises in its demanding wake. I don’t know who is asking, but I know they are coming for me. I am still nestled undisturbed in my world of loss and pain, laying in the back, but I know my solitude is coming to an end. The back door rises up, exposing me to the world and blocking the stars above me.

“By the moon!” someone gasps, and I can only assume what a shock I am to the senses. A broken girl, curled fetal in the corner, covered in blood and ash staring dry-eyed at the pile that used to be her friend, her guardian. I feel the weight of the car shift, and I know someone is crawling in towards me.

“Don’t touch him, please," I tell them flatly, no modulation to my words.

“Vinna can you move, are you hurt?”

“I can move, I just need to take him with me," I tell whoever is listening.

I’m going to spread Talon’s ashes with Laiken’s. I know the perfect place. I hadn’t thought about the flower-dotted clearing overlooking the lake since stumbling upon it weeks ago, but the pile of ashes in front of me called up the memory, and now I know what I want to do.

“Why is she covered in blood?” someone asks.

“She was closer to her kills than we were," a solemn voice answers.

Footsteps run toward the back of the car and several things are handed to whoever is in here with me. I see a small handheld broom and dustpan move into my line of sight and I reach for them.

“I’ll do it.”

I silently and robotically sweep up everything that I can of Talon and place it in a clear bag. I seal it off and breathe a relieved sigh now that Talon is safe and secure. I look over for the first time at whoever is next to me and find Lachlan’s sad eyes taking me in.

“I know what happened to them, how I got here," I tell him hollowly.

“That doesn’t matter right now. Are you hurt?”

I stare at Lachlan, confused by his dismissal. How can he say this doesn’t matter? It’s all that matters to him, finding answers, finding his brother.

Lachlan reaches for me, and I flinch.

“Enough! You fuckers are the reason she was out there unprotected. Back off and let us in.” I watch Bastien push his way to me, my Chosen all close behind him.

He reaches for me, and I don’t even hesitate as I wrap my arms around him. He cradles my body against his chest, and I feel the others’ hands on me telling me they’re here, that I’m not alone. I bury my face into Bastien’s neck and simply breathe him in as he carries me from the car into the house.

“Where are you going? We have questions!” an unfamiliar voice behind us demands.

“They can wait!” I hear Sabin answer, his tone brooking no argument.

I hear their shuffled footsteps around me as we make our way upstairs. Bastien angles us into the bathroom, and I hear the water in the shower turn on. Bastien sets me on my feet but keeps a steady hold on me. Sabin gently takes Talon from my hands and places him with Laiken on her shelf.

Knox begins to peel away the blood-soaked clothes from my body. Valen’s hands hold me from behind to keep me from crumbling, and Bastien quickly strips out of his clothes. When he’s done, he lifts me back up, and we step under the warm spray of the shower. Valen joins us, and Bastien sets me down between them. The water runs down me, slowly fading from red to pink. When it finally runs clear, I feel Valen’s hands in my hair and smell the familiar honeysuckle scent of my favorite shampoo. He washes and conditions my hair, while Bastien carefully scrubs away all the evidence of this horrible night. When I’m all rinsed off the water stops, and I’m lifted and carried out of the shower.

Ryker dries me off and starts healing my now visible injuries. The gouges to my wrists and neck from Faron were pretty bad, and it takes some time for Ryker to fix them. When he’s done, my newly unmarred outside once again becomes the perfect cover for my scarred and battered soul. Knox fills the tub with hot water and my favorite lavender bath salts and bubble bath. I step in and let the heat envelop me. The guys all take turns holding my hand or running their fingers through my hair, while I lay silently absorbing the much-needed care and tenderness.

We stay like that for a long time before I find myself speaking; once I start, I can’t seem to stop. I relay every detail like I’m purging my soul of the weight of everything that happened. They sit silent and attentive as I bury them in my grief and desolation. They carry the weight of it alongside me, making it all seem a little less impossible to bear as I fill them in on everything Talon told me. When I finally grow silent, they let me. There’s no assault of the hundreds of questions I’m sure they have. No false promises of how it will all be okay. They’re just there with me, their presence silently and powerfully supportive.

I get out of the now tepid water and pull on underwear and a comfy t-shirt. I crawl into bed and slump against my pillow, feeling safe with warm bodies cradling mine. Tomorrow, I will deal with the questions, the paladin, my magic, the elders, my future, Adriel. Tonight, I’m going to rest, rebuild my armor, protected and surrounded by my Chosen, and feel a little less lost amidst it all.

End of Book One