Chapter Ten
Rafael couldn't stop touching Molly. Her hair, along the delicate skin of her arm, trailing along the swell of her hips. Didn't matter where, as long as he could touch her. As their breathing returned to normal Rafael took a moment to grab a small towel and clean them both up a bit.
His panther stretched in his mind, fully satisfied for once.
He'd always heard that sex with your mate was intense, but nothing could have prepared him for how Molly overwhelmed him. She couldn't hold his heart more entirely if she tried. Rafael had never felt so safe sharing himself with another person. He wanted Molly to know everything.
"That was incredible," she whispered, staring at him in wonder. "You're incredible."
"Not all the time," he said, kissing the back of her hand. "For you, I'll do better."
Molly snuggled into him, breasts pressing against his chest and he hummed in pleasure. "Nobody's incredible all the time."
"Not asking for all the time. Just when it's important." The past felt heavy in his chest and for the first time ever he felt like sharing the burden. It was important that Molly knew him completely. She needed to know about this, too.
Molly traced along the tattoos on his arm, following their patterns. "Sounds like there's a story there."
The words stuck in his throat, though he wanted so badly to say them.
"Hey," she said, pressing a hand to his cheek. "I'm your mate, yeah? That means I love every part of you. Even the bits you're not so proud of."
Rafael made himself nod.
"We were running through a training op. In Siberia."
Molly's eyebrows shot up and she resumed caressing his arm.
"I can't go into too many details. Connor was there. And a few others in our shifter squad. They were testing, well, us. Shifters tend to form packs around family groups. It comes with a lot of benefits. Packs are able to hunt and operate with greater success. With an almost psychic connection."
"In family groups?" Molly said, frowning. "Were they trying to see if different shifter types could be a pack?"
"Among other things. We were a disparate group. Couldn't say if that had anything to do with shifter types or if we just didn't gel.
"Three of us were tight, though. Connor, myself and another bear shifter. Simon. We'd gone through basic together and if anyone could've formed a pack, it was us."
"You weren't sure?"
Rafael shrugged. "Connor was sure. Simon, too."
"What held you back?"
He still couldn't say. For so many years, he'd told himself it wasn't possible for a cat to bond with others. His parents never had. Always kept to themselves in the jungle or the outskirts of towns.
"I didn't think it was possible. Didn't think...I'd never had a pack."
"Not even your parents?"
He shook his head and the truth of it pinched something inside his chest. He loved his parents and always would. But there had been a distance between them that he couldn't ever bridge.
"What happened in Siberia?"
Molly looked at him with such love and trust. Would that change once she knew?
"It should have been routine. The kind of shit we'd done a hundred times before. I was on point, but I was distracted. Overnight, the temp had dropped to thirty below. I didn't notice the structural damage the cold had caused until too late. The scaffolding we were on collapsed, taking part of the wall with it."
Molly's hand tightened on his arm.
"Connor and Simon were hurt. Bad enough that they couldn't shift. Conditions were rough and we almost didn't get them help in time."
"God," Molly breathed, resting her head against his chest. "That must have been scary."
"Yeah. Not something I would've admitted at the time. Communication was spotty due to the weather. I kept them alive until we could get through to the medic. If they weren't shifters, they'd be dead."
"You all made it out okay?"
He nodded, recriminations crowding his mind. How could he have missed the damaged support? What was the point of all that military training if he couldn't keep his two best friends safe? Of course he could never be part of a pack. He couldn't be relied on.
"You had me worried. You made it sound like you'd done something horrible."
Rafael frowned, pulling away from Molly so he could see her face. "I did. It was my fault. I was on point. I should've noticed the—"
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Well, from what I can tell, it was an accident. How were you supposed to know the building was broken? Would it even be possible to tell if the damage was noticeable after it all collapsed?"
He shook his head. "Doesn't matter. When you take point, the lives of those you're leading are your responsibility. You've got to be better than perfect."
Molly chewed at her lip a moment before she spoke. "One of my hip hop students auditioned for a dance troupe that was a pretty big deal. Part of a competitive group. Like in those movies, you know?"
Rafael had no idea what she was talking about, but he kept his mouth shut.
"She practiced for over a month. Seven days a week. She'd never wanted anything more in her life. Her audition finally came around and she had to perform on a stage she'd never been on before. There was a dip in the floor that she didn't know about. Couldn't have known about."
Molly placed gentle kisses on the back of his hand as she told the story. The gentle tone of her voice sent shivers along his scalp.
"She's at the end of her routine, nailing it the whole way until she hits that dip. She goes down hard. Throws off the whole act she had planned. But she saved it, freestyled a bit until she could recover. It was obvious she fell, but it still looked good."
"Let me guess. She wins the contest, gets the guy and the whole city started dancing in the streets?"
Molly grinned and bit his finger. "She got on a waitlist but made into the troupe when someone moved out of town. What got her noticed was how well she dealt with the mistake. I've seen a lot of kids screw up and just melt down. Shit we don't expect happens. Doesn't matter how good or how badass you are.
"What matters is how you respond. Sounds like you did what you had to do to keep your teammates alive. So, you did the right thing. Feeling guilty makes sense, but you should be honest about the second part, too."
See? His panther said. Our mate knows us and is wise and beautiful. You should make love to her again.
A calm warmth spread through his chest. It was the first time he'd opened up to someone about the whole thing and they hadn't tried to talk him out of his guilt. Was she right? He'd responded quickly, gotten Connor and Simon to safety and kept them alive until help arrived. Why was it so easy to ignore that in favor of his fuck up?
Molly was right. His panther knew it and some part of him did, too. Maybe with a bit of time, he could learn to accept that.
"And," Molly went on. "If there's even a chance those guys are your pack then you need to hang onto them. Family...well, it's good to have friends like that."
He noticed the little frown and the way her eyes dropped to the pillow. The fight with her brother came back to his mind.
"You live on your own in the studio?" Rafael brushed her hair from her forehead. "I got the feeling you don't see your family a lot."
Molly shrugged and his gaze flickered to her breasts to watch them move. He'd remind her to get dressed before they fell asleep. It was easier to get decent in a hurry when you could turn into a panther.
"For a long time, I had Donnell. He was my family for ages. It's been hard without him."
"What about your mom?"
"I didn't really get to know her before she left." Molly turned to lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. "Didn't seem like she was all that great. She wanted Dad to go back into the Family business. Wanted to be the traditional gangster's girlfriend. He wouldn't and when I came along he flat out refused. Mom named me Molly to spite him. You know, like a gangster's moll?"
Rafael rested a hand over her heart. "I know it's not great circumstances, but maybe this is a second chance for both of us. Me meeting with Connor again. Your brother showing up when you needed him. Worth a chance at least, yeah?"
Molly grinned crookedly at him. "Maybe you're right. Not sure I'm ready to admit it though."
"I'm so glad I found you," Rafael placed a kiss to her temple.
"Even with the mess with the hitman?"
"Especially because of the hitman."
Molly sighed and wrapped her arm around him, pulling him close. "I'm glad, too."
With as much as his life had changed and so quickly, logically he should be freaking out. Being held by Molly made him and his panther so happy it didn't matter. Somehow, they'd figure out the danger surrounding them. He'd make damn sure Molly got the happily ever after she deserved.