Justice

 

JUSTICE. I THINK MY MOTHER chose that name for me because she could never find any. From what I understood, she never amounted to anything. Between the drugs and the men, she couldn’t stay afloat. My adoptive parents, Paul and Sharon Everette, were the exact opposite. They came from old money, and they made sure that I had the best upbringing. I was a good girl for them because I understood that the role that they played wasn’t something that they had to do. They wanted a child to love and cherish unlike the addict that birthed me.

My mom and dad were so successful at parenting that on my eighteenth birthday my world completely shattered apart. They planned a surprise party for me, but it took them longer to set up the venue than they expected. That’s the reason why my father was speeding when he came to get me from school. They were late picking me up from cheerleading practice and didn’t want to chance me catching a ride home with one of the other girls.

Ms. Sandy told me that they were extremely excited that I was turning eighteen. Probably more excited than I was. I could just imagine how happily my mother chatted in the car to my dad. She’d probably asked him if she’d baked enough, or if she should stop and get more food. She was always feeding people. It was her gift. Her love of food was something I’d picked up along the way. My dad was probably salivating over the feast she’d prepared and wasn’t nervous about a thing. He was relaxed and cool even though he was a perfectionist. That party was probably spectacular. I didn’t know. I never made it to the party.

Maybe the guy who drunkenly cut them off was celebrating my birthday, too. He could have been on his way to the venue to liven up the party that much more, or maybe not. I’ll never be able to ask him his side of the story because he was dead, right along with my parents. I spent weeks in my room bawling, trying to figure out the whys of that accident. After all, it was my fault that they were even in that car. If it weren’t for my stupid birthday they’d still be here.

After that, I’d wished that I had been in that car with them. Then we could have died a tragic death together as a family, and I wouldn’t be alone. They didn’t have any close relatives, so I was left to figure everything out solo. I did have friends, though, and Ms. Sandy.  She always seemed to be around, and as much as I wanted to push her away and be mean and cruel, I didn’t have the heart to. She cared about me and vowed to always be there for me.

To be honest, if I had been in that car I’d probably still be alive just so that I would have to mourn them. Nothing that I ever did got me injured. Nothing!

When I was ten, I was riding my bike and got hit by a car. Not even a scratch! Measles, mumps, chicken pox, common cold? Never had those either. When I fell from the pyramid during cheerleading practice? Nothing hurt but my ego.

“Justice, are you going to stay in the mirror all day or are we leaving soon?” Amber asked.

“Bitch!” I yelled.

“Hurry up! You’re not getting any younger. You need to celebrate turning twenty-three now before you shrivel up tomorrow for being a day older!”

I knew somehow that drunken comment made complete sense to her. “I’m coming!”

I added more red to my lips and puckered them at the mirror. It complimented my honey caramel skin perfectly. My reddish-brown hair was bright and full around my face in deep waves. I loved my hair and this dress … I twirled in the mirror, watching as the black dress clung to every curve of my body. I knew I was going to get laid. I just had to.

Tomorrow, I would be hormonal. I always was during this time of the month. Ms. Sandy told me that it was because of the stages of the moon. I’d argued her theory, but she’d been right all these years. We’d tracked my changes, and they did appear to be connected to the moon’s cycle. Tomorrow was a total eclipse, and if history was correct, I expected it to be worse than it had been thus far.

Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to spend this one drugged and in a funk. The meds always left me grumpy and achy, plus I always felt severely alone. Ms. Sandy found stronger meds for me the last time because I’d been out of control. I believed that all I needed was somebody to finally tango with. This twenty-three-year-old virgin stuff was for the birds, and they could fly away with it. Trust me. I’d tried to have sex, but I could never find the right guy. They never smelled right, and scent was a huge turn on for me. I’d smelled perfection once, and I think it ruined me.

I slid my feet into my three-inch red pumps, and I was ready to destroy the night. I walked over to Amber who was snorting a line of coke. She held it out to me, and I shook my head.  That stuff never did much for me, plus I didn’t want to turn out like my egg donor. The most it ever gave me was a headache, and I didn’t want anything messing up my plans for tonight.

“Come on! It’s your birthday!” Amber shouted above the raging music playing in the background.

Two of the other girls I didn’t know stood up and did a line, too, before grabbing their purses and heading out the door. I walked past Amber, and she grabbed me playfully.

“It makes the sex feel so much fucking better. Do it!”

Sex … Everything south started to throb lightly. That’s exactly what I needed. Amber knew that I was looking to get laid, and she’d said the magic words to get me to listen to what she was selling. The horrible idea was starting to sound good after all. It was one night. How bad could it really be? If it didn’t do anything to me, no harm no foul, right?

I leaned forward and snorted a double line. Amber cheered around me, and I stood up, feeling nothing at first. Then the throb between my legs increased. My senses seemed elevated to a level that almost blinded me. I took a moment to steady myself before I got my bearings and headed out to get some fresh air. Amber followed me out of the apartment, and she got into the car with her other friends. They were loudly cheering, and the music was blasting through the windows. I knew they were probably going to have a crap ton of fun, but I didn’t care.

After the death of my parents, I never drove with anyone. I didn’t trust it. I wanted to be in control of the car, and if someone was bold enough to hit me, they’d regret it. I climbed into my dad’s sports car. It was the only thing that hadn’t been taken from me when they passed except a fund they’d started for me. Enough of the sob stories, though. I was headed to find some lucky bastard to spend the night with.

***

The music was loud, and the smoke was everywhere. Drinks were flowing, and I needed a shot of tequila pronto. I rushed to the bar, cutting the line, and got the bartenders attention by exposing a little cleavage.

“Double shot of your best tequila, chilled,” I shouted.

“They’ll kill me. You know that, right?” The bartender motioned to the line that snaked to the other end of the bar. I slipped a fifty-dollar bill behind his ear.

“Keep the change.” Ignoring his question, I patted his shoulder and turned to look out at the dance floor.

The nearby women rolled their eyes at me while the men stared with lust written all over their faces. None of them caught my attention the way that I needed them to. They weren’t “the one”. Even the guy in the tailored suit with a beard wasn’t the right amount of yummy. He looked good, but not good enough.

“Here you go, kitten,” the bartender said. He was cute. But not my cup of tea.

I emitted a low growl at the sound of the pet name. Who likes to be called “kitten”? I took the shot and downed it quickly. So far, the bitter smoothness had been the best part of my night. I whined in approval. I’d need another of these soon. Winking was how I showed my gratitude to the bartender before walking away.

“I’ll be back,” I tossed over my shoulder. He saluted and went back to mixing drinks.

I headed to the dance floor to groove. Becoming lost in the music and swaying to the rhythm put me in a different zone. When the first guy came up behind me, I could feel the warmth in his groin as he leaned into me. He followed my lead and put his arm around my waist pulling me closer to him. Another guy approached me from the front and danced with us. It felt naughty, wrong, and I loved it. The pull to tease and taunt them drove my movements as we grooved to the music. They wanted me, and it was intoxicating. The temperature rose, and I moved my hips against the guy behind me. I felt his erection through his jeans, and I wished that the layers separating us would disappear.

I knew I was wrong to lead them on, especially since my thoughts were somewhere else. I was thinking of the man that didn’t exist. I’d made him up eons ago, and in my mind, he was the one touching me. He was the one I was saving my untouched flesh for. His scent was the one that I craved. The thought was heady. I was ready, needy, and wanted to get out of there to cure my sexual frustrations. Either, or both, of the guys here would have to do.

“Mine.” The voice was a whisper that seemed to flow in one ear and out the other. There was no denying the conviction in his implication. I turned to look at the guy behind me, but his eyes were closed. He was lost in the moment just like the guy in front of me. Where had that voice come from?

“Mine.” I heard the voice again, but this time I could tell that it was all in my head. Damn if it didn’t resonate with me. The thought of being claimed by the right man was a dream come true. Too bad that wasn’t happening.

“Damn drugs,” I muttered.

I pushed away from the guys and headed back to the bar for another drink. The guy that was dancing in front of me followed close behind. Good. He could be useful and buy me a drink. I walked up to the bar, and the bartender eyed me. I looked at the guy chasing after me.

“He needs a fifty for my drink,”

“What in the hell are you drinking?” he shouted in shock.

“Either pay him or go away,” I said. I didn’t have time to play games.

He stood there for a second before pulling cash from his wallet. The bartender turned to make my drink, and I watched Amber and her friends talking to some guys near the bathroom doors. Ugh! Disgusting! I hope they weren’t going to have sex in there. The way they seemed to be glancing back and forth at the door indicated that they would. Nope. There was no way that I was going to get laid in the germ station. Granted, I was looking to get screwed, but I’d never let that happen in there. I watched them all slip into the ladies’ room with the skirt chasers they were with when a few girls exited. I knew it!

“Here you go.” I wasn’t paying much attention to the bar or the bartender, so when lover boy handed me the shot, I was caught off guard. He wasn’t the best-looking guy here, but he’d have to do.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Bob.”

I scoffed because he was lying, but I wasn’t trying to get to know his truths. I only needed to scratch an itch.

“Well Bob, thanks for the drink.”

I took the shot, but a nagging whine billowed from the corners of my mind as I swallowed. I put the glass down and exhaled some of the fire from the tequila’s burn. I swayed a little when I tried to take a step forward. Damn that was strong. I held on to the bar top for leverage. Maybe the drugs and the tequila weren’t the best combination. My thoughts became increasingly muddled. Alarms sounded through every nerve in my body to get as far away from “Bob” as possible. The guy was smiling at me and somehow, I knew it was his fault. My thoughts began to race, but I couldn’t catch on to them all.

Get out of here. Get out of here.

My first dancing partner walked up, put one hand firmly on the bar on each side of me, and leaned in, bringing his face close to mine. Before he could seal the deal with a kiss, I blurted the first thing that came to mind.

“He told me that your dick was small and that you probably hit like a girl.”

Crap! His eyes squinted, and his forehead wrinkled before he turned toward Bob.

“What?” guy number two demanded. He moved me behind him. I stumbled backwards and made my way to the front door before they could figure out what’d I’d done.

Get out of here. Get out of here.

I groaned. Slow, calculated steps were taken. It took a bit for me to find my car. I climbed in and started it, but my hands moved clumsily over the controls. There was a pounding on the window, and I jumped. Bob was there, and the sinking feeling that I was in a dire situation only magnified. I threw the car in drive and slammed on the gas.

Lights circled around me as I tried to figure out which way to go. I couldn’t make the spinning in my head cease, but I couldn’t sit here and wait it out either. There was a break in the lights, and I gunned it, hoping for the best. I drove down the road swerving in and out of traffic until I hit the interstate. It had to be safer. The familiar green blurs of the signs indicated that I needed to drive faster.

Car horns blared but I ignored them, trying to get farther away from the sounds. My ears were ringing, and I could barely see as the traffic zipped about. I couldn’t figure out why the bright lights of the vehicles were coming toward me instead of away. I continued to drive, hoping they would convert and go in the right direction soon. The lights parted this way and that as I continued moving down the highway. They seemed to sense my need for a clear path to safety. A black blur raced at me with no intention of slowing down. Car. The headlights meant that it was a car.

As it grew closer, I blinked to clear my vision only to see that it was the guy from the bar gunning towards me! Why wouldn’t he leave me alone already? I turned the wheel to prevent from hitting him, but the oversized eighteen-wheeler was in my way. He tapped the side of my car sending me in a whirling spin. I screamed loudly and gritted my teeth. Make it stop, already! The entire time, all I could think was that I wasn’t ready to die.

I grabbed my head to stop the pain, but it was no help. My body felt like it was splitting in two. A loud crash roared in my ears just before darkness drowned me. Agony exploded all through my veins, and then I felt nothing.