Three months after our ride up the coast and two days after my call to Holli, I receive a letter. The return address lists Caggiano as the sender. I flip it over in my hands a few times before sitting down on the couch and dumping the rest of the mail on the coffee table. The letter remains next to me for a good five minutes before I brace myself for the worst and open it.

Dear Rochelle,

I thought the days without you would get easier than being tortured with your untouchable beauty. Each passing day offers a new form of cruelty and I have to stop my reflex of reaching for the phone and calling you, driving to your house, or writing you a letter.

I’ve failed as you can see. I’m starting to think that it’s not about proving myself good enough so I can have more of you, but more about learning to enjoy what simple pleasures I’m given—your smile, for instance. I could write a song about the way your smile brightens my soul, filling it with light and hope, something pure that never existed there before.

Your eyes—the way they pinch at the corner when you’re frustrated and widen when you’re happy. The golden brown brings new meaning to the word brilliance.

The laugh that makes me want to become a comedian just to hear it more. The olive of your skin that makes me crave to lick every inch as well as caress it. These days I’d settle for a simple touch.

Your beauty exudes all that you are on the inside. I find myself wanting to consume your every breath and mark you as mine. Weaknesses I’m struggling to overcome.

But when you hit bottom, sometimes you’re given the gift of clarity. Me without you is never the answer. I need you. The way you make me feel… it’s good enough. It makes me better because you’re around. It made me realize that when I’m with you, I’m good enough.

Love,

Dex

I reread the letter seven times before I run around my couch, my world full of hope again as I hold it to my heart. I love being a mom and responsible, but sometimes it’s just good to be a giddy girl again.

“Dance party, Mama,” CJ says, running after me.

I bend down and smile, then kiss him on the head. “Yes, we should have a dance party.” Grabbing the remote, I flick on the music and then find an upbeat pop song. He jumps on the couch and I set the letter down on the table before standing on the hearth and shaking my booty. “Neil?” I call out. “Come dance with us.”

I turn up the music just as he peeks his head around the corner. With a smile on his face, he comes in and jumps up on the hearth with me and starts dancing too.

Later that night in bed, I reread the letter and wonder if I should write back or call or do nothing. I’m not sure, but maybe he’s telling me what he can’t say to me in person. Maybe that’s why I don’t see him much these days. He’s struggling to respect the boundaries I put in place. And now it’s my turn to respect him and to protect him. I tuck the letter in my nightstand and go to bed with a smile beaming from my heart.

* * *

The following day, around 10 a.m. my gate buzzer sounds. I get up from the kitchen table where I have a bunch of files spread out and answer it. Depressing the button, I say, “Who is it?”

“FedEx. I’ve got a package for Rochelle Floros.”

I look through the camera and see the delivery guy standing there with a small box in his hands. Buzzing him in, I watch as he sets it on the front step and knocks. I open the door and sign for the package before closing it and locking it behind me.

I never have packages delivered to my home, so the whole thing is odd until I see the sender’s name—Caggiano. I hurry into the kitchen and reach for the scissors to open it. When the flaps are released, I see a Disney hat with mouse ears on top. My name is stitched on the back and the note attached reads: Wear Me.

Following directions I put the hat on and then dig out the card. A Magic Kingdom ticket falls to the counter. The card says: Please meet me at 8:30 tonight, the front gates of Disneyland. Ask for Bob Hervine.

Disney at eight-thirty? What is he up to? I’m too intrigued to not go. Looking at the time, I have hours before the kids are home. I pick up my phone and call Beth. She answers after the first ring every time, which I love. “Hello?”

“Hi, It’s Rochelle.”

“Hi, how’s it going?”

“Good. I wanted to see if you were free tonight, around seven?”

“Sure,” she replies. “You got a hot date?”

I pause to think about it, then reply with a laugh, “I’m not really sure.”

“I’m happy to come over. I don’t have any classes until ten in the morning, so feel free to stay out as long as you like.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you tonight.”

I walk into the bedroom and start rummaging through my clothes to figure out what I should wear. When I go into the bathroom, I burst out laughing that I’m still wearing the mouse ears. I set the hat on my bed along with a sweater just in case it’s chilly and sneakers on the floor since it’s Disney and I’ll be walking a lot. I’d prefer sexy, but for an amusement park, I’m going practical.

* * *

I ride the tram from the parking lot to the park. Walking up to the front gates, I’m wondering how I’m ever going to find a Bob Hervine at this hour when it’s dark. As my ticket is taken, a Disney Cast Member says, “Wait right over here please. Bob will be with you momentarily.”

Well, there you go.

“Ms. Floros?”

I turn around to see a stocky man with a rotund belly coming toward me and a huge smile on his face.

“Yes,” I respond. “I’m Rochelle.”

“I’m Bob. Nice to meet you,” he says.

I shake his hand. “Nice to meet you as well.”

He starts walking, but stops, and says, “C’mon. We’re on a tight schedule.”

“Oh.” I hurry to catch up with him. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize, but Mr. Caggiano has planned something very unique and timing is everything.” He’s walking very fast, so I double my pace. “Mr. Disney built Main Street…”

I get a guided tour, although told very fast, of each main structure we pass and then through the castle. “The fireworks are about to begin.” He smiles. “So we have to hurry. Magic is in the air.”

“Magic?”

On the other side of the castle, the first fireworks shoot into the sky, lighting it up. I watch in awe of the grandeur of the huge display. Bob taps me on the shoulder, and says, “Don’t look there. The real show is over here.”

I follow the direction he gestures in and see Dex standing under the sign, Peter Pan’s Flight. His smile is coy, a bit nervous looking, which is so unlike his usual confidence. I walk over, taking my time, letting him sweat it out a bit. “Hi,” I say.

When he greets me, his smile grows. “Hi.”

“This is a surprise, Dex?”

“Everyone can use a little magic in their life.”

With an elbow nudge, I say, “You, sir, are a charmer.”

“Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

While he adjusts the mouse ears hat on my head, I reply, “How could I resist. I got a hat. I needed to show it off.”

His laugh is contagious, or maybe it’s because we’re at the Happiest Place on Earth… or maybe it’s because I’m happy to be here with him. He nods toward the entrance, and asks, “Wanna go for a ride?”

“Absolutely.”

Taking my hand, he leads me through the winding railings that shape the line, miraculously empty, and I’m having a feeling this was also planned. We walk inside and are greeted by more happy cast members working the ride. Dex guides me onto the little pirate boat and we’re off, through Wendy and her siblings’ bedroom window, starting our own adventure.

It doesn’t dawn on me until we’re in the dark, immersed in the magic. Turning to Dex, I ask, “You brought me to Neverland?” Memories of our Neverland fantasies of the past squeeze my heart. It’s a safe place for us, a place where our pasts don’t matter and the rest of the world disappears just for a little while. A lump forms in my throat as I hold back the heavy emotions wanting to be heard while holding onto the safety bar in front of me. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s not about what to say. Here in Neverland, I’m Peter and you’re Wendy, remember? All that other stuff doesn’t matter.”

“I do remember,” I say with a small smile. “In Neverland, no one can touch us.”

“In Neverland, we work.”

The pressures I feel when we’re apart are gone, happiness taking over. Knowing we don’t have much time in such a perfect place, I ask, “Why did you bring me to Neverland tonight?”

We cruise along in our flying pirate ship, past the ticking alligator before stopping over London. While staring out over the city below, he says, “How we left it at the beach that day… I make mistakes. A lot of fucking mistakes, bad decisions, and sometimes have poor judgment.”

Tilting toward me, he adds, “But I’m getting better every day.” He pauses and by his expression, I get worried, gripping the bar even tighter. “I used to wish you and Cory would break up. I had convinced myself that if you did, I would tell you how I felt about you. But you guys never did, and I’m glad. What used to be selfish wishes turned into something else. I liked you two together. You guys had the kind of relationship I wanted, one I envied. I need you to know that because of you and the boys, I would have traded places with him on that plane if I could. I loved him, Rochelle.”

Looking down, I can’t bear to hear him say that. “I know you loved him, but no, Dex, don’t say that. He didn’t have a choice and neither do we, so there’s no point in thinking like that.”

“It’s the truth. Cory taught me to treat the ones we love with respect and to love them deeply.” He shifts in the seat. “So even though I’m breaking our rule and bringing the past into Neverland, I need you to know that I understand how much you loved him. I’m not trying to replace him. I can’t, but I want…” Dex looks away.

My voice is lower, just above a whisper when I ask, “What do you want?”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

Just as our ship begins to move again, I slide my hand across the hard plastic seat and find his. “You won’t. I promise.”

Our ship comes safely back into harbor and I hope our relationship follows the same path. I’m about to say something, but the attendants are excited to see him. He thanks everyone, shaking their hands and posing for three photos before we walk out.

Bob is waiting for us when we step outside. He claps his hands together once and asks, “How was Peter Pan’s Flight?”

Dex looks over at me and answers, “Perfect.”

“Are we ready for the magic to continue?” Bob asks.

I nod, excited to see what else is in store for us.

Bob starts walking quickly. “Stay close and follow me back this way. To the castle we go.” I love the adventure he takes us on. We find our way to a secret entrance on the side and go up an elevator. Dex is smiling and in this most unique and fun situation, I see the guy I met down on Sunset again. I’ve started to treasure these little moments that take us back to a time when life was so much easier.

When the elevator doors open, my breath is taken away. A fire is roaring in the fireplace and a table for two is set up in front of it with a bottle of champagne chilling on ice. Bob pulls out a chair for me and I sit just as Dex does.

“Cinderella and Prince Charming?” I say, “You’re pulling out all the stops, Mr. Caggiano.”

“Not all of them. I’m saving some for another day.”

The champagne is poured and Bob disappears, leaving us inside the private suite of Cinderella’s Castle.

I take a sip, then ask, “I thought this place existing was just a rumor.”

“Nope, it’s real.”

“It’s beautiful. Ornate and over the top. Exactly how it should be.”

A waiter walks in with two pieces of chocolate cake and sets them in front of us. When he leaves, I lean on my elbow and smile. “I think I’m in Heaven.”

“You deserve Heaven for the Hell you’ve been through.”

I stare into his eyes astounded by his ability to say such perfect things at the right time. We clink our glasses, toasting to that. The first glass of champagne is gone and after eating my cake, I ask, “Dex, are you wooing me or trying to win me? Because either way, you’re doing an excellent job.”

“Good to know. But really, I’m just trying to make up for everything.”

I sit up straight, and say, “You keep saying you make all of these bad decisions and screw up, but I don’t see you that way. Maybe I should.” I think of Firenza. “I really should after finding you…” I don’t bother since I don’t want to drag up the past right now and ruin the evening.

He’s silent as he stands. Leaning his hand against the mantle, he stares into the fire below. “The madness of love is the greatest of heaven’s blessings”

“The madness of love feels fitting.”

“Plato has a way with words. I have that tattooed.”

“Where?”

“It’s the inscription inside the shield on my heart.”

Slowly, I stand up and walk to him. Touching his shoulder, he turns. His fingers unbutton his grey shirt while keeping his eyes on mine. The shield of armor, his family crest is revealed. Dex takes my hand and presses it flat against his skin that’s been heated by the fire, and whispers, “It’s been too long since you’ve touched me.”

The silence of the room exaggerates every swallow and breath I take. I drop my gaze from his eyes down to his chest and see the quote printed on the arched top of the tattoo. “Does this shield represent your family name or protect your heart?”

He cups my face, and says, “Both,” then kisses me.