“Sometimes what you want and what everybody else wants from you are two different things.” ~Johnny Outlaw
I’m exhausted—today mentally and physically drained me. The tears I cried earlier have dried on my cheeks, so I rinse my face, the cool water feeling refreshing on my hot skin. After changing into boxer shorts and a tank top, I pull my short fuzzy robe on and go out onto the patio. I glance over at Danny’s patio door, but it’s closed. The light is on, but when I knocked earlier to check on him there was no answer.
Lying back on the chaise, I tilt my head up and stare at the stars. My eyes feel heavy and I close them, relaxing into the chair.
“Clear sky tonight.”
Danny. I jump up and go to the short wall of my patio that faces his. “How are you?” Grabbing hold of the stucco wall, the sharp edges and smooth grooves are contrasting like my emotions. I gulp before I speak, worried he’s mad at me… or worse, hates me.
“I’ve gone through two bags of peas and one steak I was planning on having for dinner tonight, but I think I’ll live.”
I can’t help scrunching my nose at seeing the bruising that’s already forming and the swelling near his eye.
“Don’t look so grossed out,” he adds. “You’re gonna give me a complex.”
Smiling, I say, “Good, the humor’s still intact. Danny, I’m sorry.” I lean down on my elbows, dropping my head, feeling shame, guilt, and embarrassed. I look up and see his smile, a mixture of understanding and sympathy as I continue.“I don’t know what to say. I’m just… You’ve seen the worst of him, but he’s not normally like that. We had a fight this morning and left on bad terms, so I’m to blame. I’m sorry you were dragged into it and more sorry that you were hurt. Is there anything I can do for you?”
He presses his palms against the barrier, leans forward, and says, “You know, Holli, I’ve been in plenty of fights in my life. Today I tried to do the right thing, take the high road, and I ended up with a black eye from a sucker punch. I’m not gonna lie, it took a lot for me not to knock him on his ass, but I didn’t for one reason.”
“Why is that?”
“You.” He stands up and sighs. “I saw your face, the hurt on your face. I just didn’t want to add to it.”
I lick my lips then scrape my teeth over my bottom one, bringing it in and look down.
“I didn’t tell you that to upset you,” he says. “I just thought you should know that I didn’t hold back for him, because he’s famous, or your boyfriend.”
Reaching across the space that divides our patios, I place my hand on top of his, and say, “Thank you. Thank you for being a good friend.”
His other hand covers mine and with a soft, reassuring smile, he says, “You’re welcome, neighbor.”
Focusing my eyes up, I reply, “I can see stars forever tonight.”
“That’s rare for L.A.” He pauses, but the silence is broken when he asks, “Want some company?”
“Sure.”
He starts to climb up, but stops to ask, “You don’t have any crazy boyfriends hiding inside, do you? One black-eye is enough for today.”
“Stop,” I warn, totally teasing.
“Too soon?”
“Give it a day or two before the crazy boyfriend jokes are unleashed.”
“I’ll give ya a day.” He waves his hands out to move me away from the wall, and says, “Step back and don’t try this at home.”
“But you’re trying this at home.”
“I’m a professional.”
“You’re a photographer, a professional photographer, not a stunt man. You could fall and then where would your underwear modeling career be? It’d be sunk is where it would be.”
He raises an eyebrow up at me. “Are you really worried about my modeling career or about my body?” He winks with his hurt eye… yeah, he’s gonna live.
With a wry grin, he jumps, landing on my patio. Dusting his hands off, he follows me to the chaises and we sit down. “So how are you really?” he asks.
I glance over at him. He’s watching me, so I turn back and look up at the stars. “I’ve been better.”
“Yeah, not a great day for you either.”
I laugh, but there’s no humor. “No, not a great day.”
“Speaking of stars—”
I roll my eyes while resting my head back against the lounger. “Were we speaking of stars?”
“We were. You just mentioned the clear night and stars forever, blah, blah, blah.”
“Gee thanks for the blah, blah, blah.” I laugh.
“So your boyfriend’s famous?”
Rolling my head to the side, I smile. I get the intrigue. I’m still fascinated myself. “He wasn’t when I met him.”
“Really? Johnny Outlaw’s been around a while.” When I don’t say anything, he adds, “You know I used to think you were hot, when we first met.”
Now that makes me laugh for real. “You used to?”
“Well,” he explains, using his hands to help demonstrate. “I thought you were single that first time, the morning I invited you to the party.”
“I was single then.”
He quirks his head to the side and narrows his eyes. “I thought you just said you’ve dated Johnny since before he was famous?”
“I said he wasn’t famous when I met him. There’s a difference.”
“I’m confused. He wasn’t famous and you were single? Yeah, totally lost over here.”
I sigh. “I was single that morning of the invite. I drove to Vegas for a convention and met… Johnny while I was there, but I didn’t know who he was.” It feels so wrong calling him that. He’ll always been Dalton to me.
He starts to laugh. “You’re wilder than I thought, Holli. So you hooked up with him that weekend and along the way, started dating?” He shakes his head. “You know, I’m being really fucking nosy. You can tell me to shut up if you don’t want to talk about this.”
“I’d love to say it’s not as illicit as it sounds, but really, it is. We hooked up. I thought it would be a one night stand, but it turned into breakfast then visits… and more. Maybe it should have stayed in Sin City all along.”
Another long pause leads into him saying, “I’m not expert on relationships, but I’ve had a few and I can say I never felt like Johnny did today.”
I sit up, bringing my knees to my chest and resting my cheek down. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’ve never felt strongly enough about a woman to fight for her like that. He may have been off base with his assumptions, but his heart was in the right place. In my opinion, that guy loves you.”
When he stands up, I lift my head up and ask, “Where are you going?”
“I need to leave. I’m starting to get all sensitive and crap and that just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m thinking it’s the knock to the head that’s done it.”
I chuckle. “You’re being ridiculous. It was actually very sweet of you to say and a good observation. I hadn’t thought of his reaction being because he loves me.”
Danny stops just before climbing back on the ledge, and says, “As I see it, his actions spoke louder than his words. I’m not saying how he handled it was right…” He points to his eye. “This is proof it wasn’t, but it might not be that wrong either.” He hops up and makes the jump. When he lands, he smiles all proud of himself.
“You know you could have used the door.”
He pops his hand against his forehead, and says, “Now you tell me.”
“Danny?” He smiles when I call his name. “Thanks for the advice, chat, whatever this was. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“Don’t go buying us bestie necklaces just yet, and let’s pretend you didn’t hear any of that love talk from me. Okay?”
He’s looking a little coy. “I like when you’re embarrassed,” I say, “but I like that you told me all of that even more.”
“I’ll be here, calling my buddies over to talk completely inappropriately about women, and to chug some beer in hopes that I grow my balls back.”
“Your balls are safe.” I whisper, “I won’t tell anyone that you actually have a heart. We’ll keep them focused on your pretty face instead.”
He lifts his shirt and runs his hand over his abs. “Don’t forget about the hot body.”
“The hot body is definitely unforgettable. Now stop fishing for compliments and go earn your mancard back.”
I hear him chuckle.
“Hey,” I call to stop him. “By the way, what happened to your date?”
“She got a modeling gig in Paris, but don’t worry about me, I’ll find another before the night’s through. I’m sure there are plenty of women who like to play nurse.”
“Oh, I’m sure there are.” I laugh.
After sending a nod and smile in my direction, he goes inside, shutting the door behind him. I roll my eyes at the last comment, but let his other words linger a bit.
Settling back down, I look up at the stars again. Despite what happened today, I can’t stop thinking about Dalton. He’s been hit with a lot lately between Dex and Cory, and now our relationship. Rationally, I know I should cut him some slack, but for Dalton to think I would purposely hurt him, hurts me.
Unlike last time when he tried to pick a fight with Danny, this time he’s gone too far. We need to talk and soon. But tonight, it’s best we don’t. I’m still too mad.