Oh, my God. I can’t believe we just did that. Three times. And so very well. And I can’t believe I am now lying next to him naked, with his arm slung over me like… like I belong here. But I don’t, and we both know it.

Logic and common sense are both screaming at me to sneak out of his bed this instant, but hormones and ovaries are ordering me to stay put in case he wakes up ready for round four. I hate to tell you, ovaries, but we’re using protection, so whatever egg is next in line doesn’t have a chance.

I need to go. I am supposed to be trying to take down his family on behalf of all my followers. Oh, right… and because I’ve told millions of people it’s the thing I want most in the world. Isn’t it?

I’ll go. It’s the smart thing to do.

Oh, but look at his gorgeous face. Those are ridiculously long eyelashes for a man. I can reach out and touch them. And look at all those lovely rippling muscles on his arm that’s pressed against me. Oooh, those muscles are definitely making an argument for staying, and maybe doing the old, ‘My body is wiggling into you of its own accord because I’m fast asleep’ thing.

Get up. Go back to your room before anyone catches you.

Arthur’s eyes open and he grins at me. “Well, hello.”

A smile spreads across my face before I can stop it. “Hi.”

“I thought I was dreaming, but all that really did happen, didn’t it?”

“It did.”

“Even the part where you were upside down?”

I find myself giggling into my pillow. “Even that.”

“How the fuck did we manage that, anyway?”

“I have no idea.”

“We should do it again so we can document the steps.” He gives me a light kiss on the lips. “Not now, though. You’re not in the mood.”

“What makes you think that?”

“When I woke, you had that little crinkle between your eyebrows you get when you’re worried about something.”

How does he know that? “I was just thinking I should go before I get caught.” I run a finger down his cheek. “I was also questioning my sanity because there’s no way I should have let you lure me into your bedroom.”

“Lure you? You’re the one who came under false pretenses. I was only planning to feed your salt addiction.”

“Good point.”

“I can’t blame you, though. I have it on good authority that I’m irresistible.”

“Says who?”

“I’m not sure but apparently, they tell my grandmum everything.” He traces my collarbone with his finger, sending tingles around my body.

“I don’t find you attractive at all, really,” I say.

He stops his hand and raises one eyebrow in response.

I hide my smile with everything in me. “I only slept with you because I felt sorry for you.”

“Oh, so that was a—”

“A pity fuck, I’m afraid.” I try my best to look apologetic, but he’s clearly not buying it.

“Three times?”

“I felt really, really, really sorry for you.”

His eyes grow wide and laughter spills from him as he tosses the covers off both of us, and rolls on top of me. “For someone who claims to be so honest, you really are a bold-faced liar.”

“Am not.”

And now he’s working his way down my body with his tongue, and I’m pretty sure that he’s about to remove me of both a confession and my wit.

* * *

Dear Ms. Sharpe,

As per the King’s orders, the ‘Ask Me Anything’ interviews have been suspended indefinitely. He trusts you will understand that given the current situation, the family must use the utmost caution in all media appearances, and will henceforth only allow taped interviews with trusted news sources that can assure an absence of technical issues. As a guest of the palace, he further trusts that you will handle the matter with delicacy as far as your readers are concerned. In addition, he extends his regrets in not having had time to receive you.

Regards,

Damien Peters

Chief Adviser to the King

* * *

Blog post – Interviews Canceled

Tessa here. I regret to inform you that the “Ask Me Anything” interviews have been suspended whilst the Royal Family concentrates their efforts on the upcoming referendum. I’m sorry that I didn’t have a chance to get all of your questions answered, and hope that one day in the future, the opportunity will present itself again.

I’ve taken down the forum until such time as the interviews will be given the green light.

* * *

My cell phone rings. It’s Nikki. “You saw the post?”

“It was because you left the camera on, wasn’t it?”

“That’s what the note from the King’s senior adviser implied, but I think it may be more about His Serene Highness throwing his weight around now that he’s home.”

“Why didn’t you go after him on the blog? You should take a picture of the letter and post it.”

“I have a feeling that that little move might get me kicked out of the castle.”

“So? You did what you set out to do. You’ve built your reader base, your advertising dollars are up, and now that the referendum’s been called, you could come back and lead the charge from home base.”

“I can’t just leave. I made a commitment,” I say, hoping she won’t dig any deeper.

“If the King kicks you out, it’ll be out of your hands.”

Sound convincing, Tessa. She cannot know you don’t want to leave because you got shagged last night. Four times. “I honestly think I can be of more use from the inside. For now, I’ll cooperate. That’ll allow me to gather more information. I haven’t found anything I can really use. Oh, crap. I’m being called to a thing. I have to run. Call you later.”

I hang up before she can say anything else. Guilt clouds over me. I just lied to my best friend. I am a shameless, unprincipled woman. God should smite me down. But if he could just wait until I’ve had a few more rounds in bed with Arthur, that would be lovely, because up to this point in my life, I’ve been really very good. Except for lying to my parents on occasion and now Nikki. And for betraying my principles and my readers by sleeping with the Prince. Oh, just smite me now.

* * *

“I need your advice, but first you have to promise you won’t say anything to anyone about this conversation.”

I’m in my room and am on the phone with Bram who has called to ask for ‘tickets’ for the ball. Apparently, his new hygienist will ‘definitely go down on him’ if he can bring her.

“Get me the tickets and you’ve got a deal.”

“They don’t sell tickets. It’s not a bloody Justin Bieber concert. It’s a ball, which means they send out invitations.”

“So, get me an invitation.”

“I’m not exactly an honoured guest, you know.” I sigh. “I’ll see what I can do, but no promises.”

“Then no promises not to tell.”

Argh. Why did I start this conversation? Oh, right. Because I slept with the Prince like a total fucking idiot, and now I’m freaking out. “I’ll tell Dad you were the one who filled his ship in a bottle with Coke.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would and will.”

“You told me you’d never rat on me about that.”

“I lied. I’ve been saving it for something important.” Ha! So, who’s the smart one now, Bram?

“Fine. What?”

Yay! Score one for Tessa! “You know how you’re a total slut?”

“Did no one teach you how to ask for a favour?”

“Are you going to deny it?” I ask.

“It’s called stud because I’m a man.”

“Whatever. How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Sleep with women and not develop feelings for them?”

“I just told you. I’m a man,” he says. “Wait a minute. Are you shagging the Prince?”

“No! I’m just considering it. Not with the Prince, though! Definitely not with him… and I’m just thinking about it.”

“Not that bald bodyguard dude?”

“Not him, either. None of your business. All you need to know is that it’s not Arthur.”

“Oh, it’s him, all right!” He bursts out laughing. “Good Christ, you really have a gift for completely screwing up your life, don’t you?”

“For just once, can you try not to be an arsehole?”

“But it’s so much fun.” He takes a bite of something crunchy and chews into the phone.

“Back to the question at hand. How do you stop yourself from getting attached?”

He has another bite and chews for a long time before answering. I pretend I don’t hear it because, not unlike a third-grader, he’s doing it just to get a reaction.

“I just go into it knowing what it is, I guess.”

Hmph. “But doesn’t it ever get complicated?”

“No. I know exactly what I want, how to get it, and how to get out without things getting complicated.”

Well, this is no help at all. I shouldn’t have asked.

“You’ll never be able to do it, though, so if you are thinking of sleeping with him, you probably shouldn’t.” Bite. Chew. It’s definitely an apple. “You’re not built like me, Tessa.”

“How are you so sure?”

“I’m going to tell you something, and if you ever tell anyone, I’ll find a way to make your life a living hell, got it?”

Typical big brother threat. “Got it.”

“It’s because you’re a nice person. You pretend to be all tough and strong, but deep down, you’re just like Grandpa Seth. Way too fucking nice for your own good.”

“That’s not true. I’m very tough. I can be ruthless, even.”

“Sure, you can write mean stuff when you’re hiding behind your computer screen, but you could never say it to someone’s face.”

“I just called you a slut, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but we’re on the phone. Also, I am one.” Crunch. Chew. How big is that fucking apple? “Listen, remember that time when Finn and I were burning worms with a magnifying glass? You set up a hospital and tried to revive them. You spent hours out there, and by the time Mum made you come in for supper, you were bawling. Over some worms. Then you and Grandad had the worm funeral? Remember that? With the bagpipe music and the little matchbox coffins? Face it. You’re a nice person. You always have been.”

“Fine, I’m nice. Now how do I sleep with someone without starting to imagine it’s anything more than a shag?” Well, four mind-blowing, toe-curling, I’ve-died-and-gone-to-heaven shags.

“I already told you. You can’t. So, unless you and Definitely Not The Prince are going to end up riding off into the sunset in a white carriage, you better stay the hell away from him. Because you’re going to get hurt.”

Crap. That’s what I thought.