We pulled the boat onshore as quietly as we could, hiding it beneath some dried palm fronds. Neel made a sort of sling with the silk scarf around his waist, and tucked the golden and silver spheres into it. If the whole situation weren’t so dire, I would have made a joke about his bowling ball babies. Instead, I slung my backpack, bow, and quiver onto my shoulders in silence. We both stuffed our pockets and packs full of the rubies we’d gathered from the sea. We didn’t speak once, except in looks and gestures. This was bad. Really, really bad.
I tucked the python jewel inside Neel’s jacket, which I was still wearing, so there was only the light from the stars to guide our way. The moon seemed to have disappeared permanently behind the clouds. I couldn’t blame her. She probably didn’t want to watch her daughter get eaten by a horde of hungry rakkhosh.
The thin strip of beach was empty, except for piles of rotting animal carcasses. I wondered if some of those skeletal remains might actually be human. Beyond the beach, there was evidence of wanton destruction everywhere. Trees pulled out by their roots, burned remains of wood and paper, candy wrappers, gigantic balls of chewed gum, empty soda cans—many of them half-eaten with teeth marks all over them. The trees hung heavy with goopy body fluids—snot or spit or boogers, I couldn’t tell, but their rancid odor made my eyes water.
“Hygiene is clearly not a priority here!” Tuntuni sputtered.
We crept as quickly as we could through the woods at the edge of the shore. There was the long-dead corpse of a vulture hanging from one of the trees. I shuddered, swatting away a sticky string hanging from a branch.
I saw the remains of a lawn mower that someone had tried to snack on. And what was that other thing behind the rock? A front-loading washing machine with a gigantic bite out of its side?
“Some gourmet tastes your relatives have,” I said before I could stop myself. Nice going, Kiran.
Neel didn’t answer, but even in the darkness I could tell he was scowling. “Look, they’ll all eat me as easily as they’ll eat you.”
“Except for your fangirls, of course.” I tried for a lighter tone, but Neel didn’t look like he was in the mood to laugh.
To our left, something was crashing through the forest. We all froze. A raucous, bawdy, and yet horrifying singing filled the bitter air.
“Hob, gum, goom, geer! Pass the blood! Pass the beer!
Hob, goom, gum, geet! We want to feast on human meat!”
The noise came from a little too nearby—just beyond a clump of palm trees.
“Run!” Neel yanked me behind him as he dashed through the trees. I kept up as much as I could. My arms got scratched by hanging branches, and my feet bruised by roots sticking out of the ground, but I ran like my life depended on it. Which, basically, it did.
“Princess, help!” Tuntuni called from behind me.
I ran back. The bird had flown straight into a net of demon goo as thick as a spider’s web. I tried to untangle his wings, but couldn’t.
“Neel!” I screamed.
The prince came running, and together we struggled to pluck the little bird out of the gloppy mess.
“We don’t have time for this!” Neel drew his sword.
“What are you doing?” For a second, I panicked. He wouldn’t hurt the bird, would he?
“Getting us out of here!” Neel cried. He sliced Tuni out of the goo and thrust the tangled bird into my arms. “Let’s go!”
“Oh, my beautiful feathers! Oh, the horror! The stench!” the sticky bird wailed in my arms. But I kept running. The band of drunken demons was getting ever closer. And they had a serious case of the munchies.
“Gob gaam! Khom khoo!
We want some human stew!”
“There!” I pointed.
We’d entered a clearing. An old deserted cabin stood in its center. The door of the cabin was kind of rickety, but the walls seemed strong enough.
We dashed into the dark building just in time. With a thrashing of bush and tree, the demons came into the clearing themselves.
“Thakata-thakata-dang-dang-dort!
We love hunting meaty sport!”
I helped Neel prop the cabin’s broken table, chairs, and a cabinet against the front door. Unfortunately, there was still a small opening in the frame where the hinge had come off.
“We’re in luck.” He peeked through the opening into the moonlit clearing. “They’re khokkosh.”
“What’s that?” As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I tried to shake the remaining strands of demon goop off of poor Tuntuni, who still looked shell-shocked.
“You remember how bright the rakkhosh we met in New Jersey was?”
“He was an idiot. He tried to eat my toaster.”
“Yeah, well, these khokkosh make that guy look like Albert Einstein.” Neel’s face was grim. “One of the few 2-D geniuses who recognized the multiplicity of dimensions.”
Okay, what? But there wasn’t time now to ask Neel about that. I watched as he ran around the small cabin, grabbing the oil lamps that were littered here and there.
“If they’re so dumb, then why do you still look so worried?”
“They may be stupid,” he muttered as he lit each lamp, “but they’re strong. And obviously, hungry.”
I took a peek through the door opening myself. Yipes. The clearing was thick with the ferocious khokkosh. They were smaller than rakkhosh, and more animal-like. They had yellow skin, crooked teeth, and pointy ears that made them look like a cross between giant rabbits and enormous bats. Their claws seemed plenty sharp, and their long, skinny arms were twisted with stringy muscles.
“Don’t say anything,” Neel whispered. “Just do what I do.”
I nodded.
Tuni let out a low, soap-opera-style wail. “Oh, the humanity! The humanity, I say! We’re all going to die, we’re all going to die,” the yellow bird cried, falling to the floor with a wing perched dramatically over his head.
Neel and I stood still, our every muscle tensed. My straining ears could even make out the snuffling and shuffling as someone, or something, walked toward the house.
It was all I could do not to jump when a horrible, nasal voice called from just outside the door. “Hub, hum, hai, hower! Who’s awake at this dark hour?”
“We are hungry rakkhosh!” Neel growled.
At that the khokkosh retreated from the door. We could hear them whispering to one another from a few feet away.
“Huum-humm hoam! Let’s plunder and roam!” said one group.
“Gumm-guum gaam! Let’s go home!” said another.
But they didn’t leave. The khokkosh gathered away from the door to engage in some more whispering and negotiating. One, who I assumed was their spokes-demon, a stupid-looking guy with a scar over his eye and a half-chewed-off ear, walked up to the cabin again.
“Goom-goom, doom-dite! If you’re really rakkhosh, turn off the light!”
“No we won’t!” Neel held the lamps high even closer to the door and gestured to me to do the same.
At my raised eyebrows, he hissed, “Everyone knows khokkosh can’t see in the light!”
“I’m sooo sorry!” I whisper-yelled. “I must have missed that lecture in demonology class!”
There was some more murmuring from outside as the demons consulted one another to figure out their next move.
“Shoom-shaam, hoom-hails! If you’re really rakkhosh, show us your nails!”
Neel put down the lamps and picked up a bunch of arrows from my quiver. He shoved the points through the opening. Tuntuni handed me a few arrows with his beak, and when I stuck them through the hole, I was gratified to hear the spokes-demon yelp.
“Oh, my mother’s sainted fart! This demon’s nails really smart!”
There was more mumbling from outside, and even the sound of a fistfight. Someone seemed to be biting someone else. The spokes-demon approached the cabin again, this time with an even stupider-looking fellow with a wart the size of a watermelon growing out of his forehead.
“Dum-doom, ding-dung! If you’re really rakkhosh, show us your tongue!”
With only a second of hesitation, Neel thrust the blade of his sword through the opening, making both the spokes-demon and his assistant screech.
“Oh, my uncle’s rotten guts! That rakkhosh’s tongue really cuts!”
This time, a whole troop came up to the doorway. “Gob-goob, flim-flit! If you’re really rakkhosh, let’s see your spit!” They chanted in one voice.
“What do we do now?” I moaned.
Neel looked desperately around, mumbling, “Spit, spit.”
The khokkosh outside the door began shrieking and howling. “Let’s see your spit! Let’s see your spit!”
A few of the bolder ones began banging and scratching on the door. A few more seconds and they just might realize we were lying, and decide to bash the door down.
“Anytime now, Neel!” I’m not ashamed to say I was kinda freaking out.
The noise outside was getting louder and louder, and the wood of the door was starting to splinter from the force of the demons’ blows. What were we going to do? Neel was still dashing around the hut, looking for something that could substitute for rakkhosh spit. I looked desperately around too, and then my eyes alighted on the oil lamps.
“Neel!” I pointed. As he figured out what I meant, he started to grin.
I mouthed the words, “On three,” and he nodded. On my count, we picked up the lamps and spattered all the hot oil through the opening. The khokkosh howled, dousing the spots where the oil had burned them with their tails.
“Oh, my grandpa’s nose rings! That rakkhosh spit really stings!”
This seemed to be the last straw for the khokkosh, who didn’t even consult one another before running out of the clearing.
“Gob-gum! Dum-dack! There’s rakkhosh here, let’s go back!”
As the monsters ran pell-mell out of the clearing, we all sank to the floor of the hut. We were safe, for the moment at least.
It took a couple minutes for everyone’s breathing to go back to normal. Neel was the first to recover. He glanced around the shack. “This is as good a place as any to hide out for the night. In the morning, we’ll have to find my grandmother, to see if she can get us to the border safely.”
“Your grandmother?” I asked. “Wait a minute, I thought all demons came from some faucet of evil or something.”
“Well, not all, obviously.” Neel pointed at his own chest. “But yeah, most full rakkhosh are born from wells of dark energy.”
“So how is she your grandmother?”
“Come on, your mom doesn’t have to be the one who gave birth to you, but the one who raised you. I’d think you of all people would understand that. My Ai-Ma is the one who raised my mother.”
It was hard to imagine the Rakkhoshi Queen once being a baby demon in someone’s warty arms.
“Some nanas knit or cook; his eats flesh!” Tuntuni quipped.
“Don’t start,” Neel snapped, “unless you want me to give you to her for lunch.” He turned to me. “Listen, you get some rest. I’ll take the first watch.”