Keeping to the trees, I approach Blackheath unseen, my shirt damp with fog, my shoes caked in mud. The Sun Room lies a few paces away and crouching among the dripping bushes, I look for any movement within. It’s still early, but I don’t know when Daniel wakes up, or when he’s recruited by Silver Tear. For safety’s sake, I must assume he and his spies are still a threat, which means I must remain concealed until he’s lying face down in the lake, all his plots drowned with him.
After the sun’s early foray, it’s abandoned us to the gloom, the sky a muddle of greys. I search the flower beds for splashes of red, hints of purple, pink or white. I search for the brighter world behind this one, imagining Blackheath alight, wearing a crown of flames and a cape of fire. I see the grey sky burning, black ash falling like snow. I imagine the world remade, if only for an instant.
I come to a halt, suddenly uncertain of my purpose. I look around, not recognising anything, wondering why I left the cottage without my brushes and easel. Surely I came to paint, but I’m not a fan of the morning light here. It’s too dreary, too quiet, a gauze across the landscape.
‘I don’t know why I’m here,’ I say to myself, looking down at my charcoal-stained shirt.
Anna. You’re here for Anna.
Her name shakes me loose of Gold’s confusion, my memories returning in a flood.
It’s getting worse.
Taking a deep breath of cold air, I clutch the chess piece from the mantel in my hand, building a wall between myself and Gold by using every memory I have of Anna. I make bricks of her laughter, her touch, her kindness and warmth, and only when I’m content my wall is high enough, do I resume my study of the Sun Room, letting myself inside when I’m satisfied the house sleeps.
Dance’s drunken friend, Philip Sutcliffe, is asleep on one of the couches, his jacket drawn up over his face. He stirs briefly, smacking his lips and peering at me blearily. He murmurs something, shifts his weight, and then falls asleep again.
I wait, listening. Dripping. Breathing heavily.
Nothing else moves.
Evelyn’s grandmother watches me from the portrait above the fireplace. Her lips are pursed, the artist capturing her exactly at the moment of rebuke.
My neck prickles.
I find myself frowning at the painting, dismayed by how gently she’s been rendered. My mind repaints it, the curves as harsh as scars, the oil piled like mountains. It becomes a mood smeared on canvas. A black one at that. I’m certain the old battleaxe would have preferred its honesty.
A peal of shrill laughter sounds through the open door, a dagger driven into somebody’s story. The guests must have started drifting down to breakfast.
I’m running out of time.
Closing my eyes, I try to remember what Millicent spoke with her son about, what drove her to hurry off so quickly and come here, but everything’s a clutter. There are too many days, too many conversations.
A gramophone springs into life down the corridor, slashing at the quiet with random notes. There’s a crash, the music screeching to a halt, hushed voices bickering and blaming.
We were standing outside the ballroom, that’s where it started. Millicent was sad, wrapped in memory. We talked of the past; how she’d visited Blackheath as a child and brought her own children when they were old enough. She was disappointed in them, then angry with me. She caught me looking through the ballroom window at Evelyn and mistook my concern for lust.
‘It’s always the weak ones with you, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘Always the...’
Something she saw caused her to lose her train of thought.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to recall what it was.
Who else was in there with Evelyn?
Half a second later, I’m sprinting into the corridor towards the gallery.
A single oil lamp’s burning on the wall, its sickly flame encouraging the shadows rather than diminishing them. Snatching it off the hook, I hold it up to the family oil paintings, inspecting them one by one.
Blackheath shrinks around me, shrivelling like a spider touched to the flame.
In a few hours, Millicent will see something in the ballroom that so startles her, she’ll leave her son standing on the path, and rush to this gallery. Wrapped in scarves and armed with her suspicions, she’ll spot Gold’s new paintings among the older ones. Any other time she might have walked past. Maybe she has during a hundred other loops, but not on this occasion. This time the past will hold her hand and squeeze.
Memory will murder her.