Sixty-Two
THEN
Henry knows the truth – or he thinks he does. He found out about the syndicate because somebody – Ailsa Pelligrini – let it slip to Lauren, who mentioned it to him, and now he’s put two and two together. He sold Ella our actual lottery tickets, because I’m not allowed to sell to a relative, and knows full well we played the same numbers every week, and that we never purchased lucky dip tickets.
Henry doesn’t say a word while I confess I’d stolen a winning ticket and passed it off as the syndicate’s. I don’t tell him who the ticket really belonged to. I say it was a man I hadn’t seen before. When I finish explaining why I did it, he gives me a kindly look – a look full of support and compassion – and a volcano of sorrow erupts from within. The desire to be like him, to have a normal life, hope, and love is too much to bear.
The thing is I never wanted to steal the ticket, but everyone was so pleased at the thought. They really wanted me to help them. Mr Hawkins – Anthony – put an arm around my shoulders and whispered, ‘You’re the only one who could do this. Do it for us all. Sid would have wanted you to help us. Sid gave you a chance, didn’t he? Now we need you to give us one.’
I was startled by the mention of Sid. Would he have wanted me to help these people? I figured he would. They all looked at me with such expectation in their eyes, I felt my resolve weaken. And then there was Ella. I had to do it for her and Astra. I wasn’t bringing in anywhere near enough money to look after us all. I’d had another demand for council tax I couldn’t pay, and Ella had gone round to McNamara to pay him like she usually does when we can’t afford the rent. The thought of her with that man made me want to vomit. Anthony smiled again and I sort of nodded.
‘That’s the spirit. We knew we could count on you.’
Suddenly everyone was smiling and looking at me differently. They needed me. For the first time, since Sid, I felt wanted and appreciated. I decided there and then I’d do it. I’d help us all to a better life.
The following day, I knew I couldn’t pull it off. It would be too risky. I phoned Hawkins and told him so. His voice was ice-cold. ‘Oh, yes you will, lad,’ he hissed. ‘If you don’t, I’ll tell everybody about your past. I’ll phone up that store of yours and tell the owners that you stole from your employer, Sid – a man who’d given you a chance to prove yourself – and that you left him dying, to make good your escape. I bet MiniMarkt don’t know about your past. How old were you when you were convicted? Oh yes, only seventeen. Your record will have been wiped clean after five and a half years, and you’ve never told them about it, have you?’
I’m panicked. It’s true. MiniMarkt have no idea.
‘That’s not what happened,’ I stuttered. ‘You know I didn’t steal from Sid.’
‘No, lad. I know you were a nasty little shit who robbed a good man, and who got what you deserved. You were a whining, pathetic individual in jail and you’re still pathetic now. I’ll ruin your life. I’ll tell everyone on the team what you really are and you’ll be ostracised again. You know how that feels, don’t you? Imagine what somebody like Roger would do to you if he finds out about your past. He can’t tolerate wimpy tosspots like you. I only have to “accidentally” divulge some information about you and your disgusting antics in jail, and you’ll be watching your back ever more. So, what’s it to be? Do I make that phone call to MiniMarkt, or do you toughen up again and get hold of that ticket?’
Now, I can’t bear to think about what I’ve done. Looking at Henry, I realise I’ve made a monumental error in trusting those people. Henry has been more of a friend than any of them. He asks about the others who have benefited from my theft. In my heightened state of emotion I tell him, explain they’re none the wiser, that they’re honest people. He throws me a sad look.
‘When money is involved, people can become very dishonest.’
He requests their phone numbers, and, eager to rectify my wrongdoing and to win back his trust, I pass them to him, all the while terrified that my world will unravel. I have to trust in Henry.
He’s going to ring them, one by one, and tell them they have no right to their share of the jackpot. He’ll tell them the ticket isn’t rightfully theirs and they should return the money. He’s going to give us all a chance to prove our worth.