Jina didn’t sleep that night. Her mind wouldn’t shut down, wouldn’t let her forget the searing humiliation. Levi had seen through her, likely from the start; she’d wasted all that time and effort staying away from him, not talking to him if she could help it, not even looking at him, all for nothing. Damn it, it wasn’t as if she were in love with him—God forbid—so she should have been able to play the situation better. The good Lord help any woman who loved Levi Butcher, because she’d need the backup.

What she felt was just potent physical chemistry, and she wasn’t a fool; she knew that acting on it would be a disaster between team members. Moreover, that strong survival instinct of hers warned her to steer far, far away from him, at least in a personal sense. Levi was intense; controlled, but intense. Sex with him might be incandescent enough to render her blind, but at most he’d walk away thinking, Okay, tension relieved, that was good, hey isn’t it almost time to change the oil in the truck? They came at life from two different levels. She was normal, and he wasn’t. He was like Rambo with Kama Sutra training, considering what he did to her hormones, and it wasn’t fair.

How classic could the setup be? In a team of alpha males, he was the most alpha, the super-high-octane alpha. As the only woman—and by default the alpha female—on the team, according to biology and anthropology and probably a lot of other-ologies, within their little group she had no other option than to choose him as her mate.

Except she had an option, all right, and her option was to say no. “I don’t want to mate,” she growled into the darkness of her bedroom, though she had to acknowledge that wasn’t strictly true. She didn’t want to mate, as in form a bond and procreate, but she sure wouldn’t mind trying him on for size. She’d never had sex just for the sake of having sex, but for him she’d be happy to make an exception . . . if circumstances were different. And if he wasn’t such an asshole.

Except not now. Now she wanted to geld him.

How was she supposed to function with the team now, when she dreaded every minute she’d have to spend in his company? This wasn’t not liking someone; she’d worked with people she didn’t like before, and she’d made the best of it because her parents had always told their kids that life wasn’t perfect and they’d have to deal with problems all their lives, so deal with them and stop whining. This was different; this was so uncomfortable and humiliating that she wanted to punch him and be done with it. Punching him would get her kicked off the team, right?

Since this whole deal had started, over five months ago, she’d often comforted herself with the idea of quitting, knowing the whole time that she’d rather eat maggots than quit because her streak of stubbornness was so ingrained from years of keeping up with her brothers that she didn’t know how to quit. But she could have if she’d wanted to, and having that as an out had been nice because she liked having options.

Now she had no option. None. She couldn’t quit under any circumstances, because that would mean Levi had won and she’d rather break every bone in her body than give him the satisfaction. No way would she let him think she couldn’t take the stress of being near him and not being able to have him—hah! If she’d been chasing after him and embarrassing herself, she could understand why he’d felt the need to say what he did, but she hadn’t. She’d kept herself to herself, never let herself even think of flirting with him. He could have maintained the status quo; he didn’t have to rub her nose in her hormonal insanity. She hadn’t acted on it, wouldn’t have acted on it.

Her only path now was to stay the course, to try not merely because she couldn’t bear to quit, but because she wanted to become a real member of the team. Her focus had to be on something more than just getting through the next day, something bigger, something more important.

As of right now, she swore savagely, Levi was nothing to her other than a team member. He could take his damn overflowing testosterone and entice some other woman, and she hoped he developed erectile dysfunction. Maybe he could be in one of those television commercials, sitting in one of those stupid side-by-side bathtubs in the middle of the woods.

The ridiculousness of that thought so entertained her that she chuckled out loud in the darkness. Ah, hell; she wasn’t sleeping, at least not until she calmed down some, so she might as well get up and do what she could to get ready for the taco bar tomorrow. She checked the time, saw it was almost one-thirty a.m., and changed that “tomorrow” to “today!” What on earth had possessed her to invite everyone to her little condo?

Oh, well; she’d get to know the wives, mainly because everyone would practically be sitting on top of each other. And as her mom always said, it wasn’t the surroundings, it was the company. And the food. She couldn’t stretch her condo and make it bigger, but she could make sure the food was both fun and good.

And thank God, because the event was right on top of her, and that gave her something else to focus on; otherwise, she’d have lain in bed and wallowed in fury and self-pity all night long. As it was, she got up and muttered irritably to herself the whole time she cleaned the condo. After all, it was one-freaking-thirty in the morning—now two in the morning—and she was cleaning instead of sleeping, and it was all Levi Butcher’s fault, damn his black heart and eyes and every other part.

She wanted everyone who came to have a great time and spend the next day telling Levi all about it. And she might even indulge in a little PDA with Donnelly . . . Brian . . . no, that wouldn’t be fair to him, not when she knew there’d be no romantic relationship with him, ever. Damn.

She went back to bed at four and was so tired she slept like a rock for all of three hours. After months of getting up early, her body evidently thought that was what it was supposed to do. Supposedly the guys had perfected what they called the “combat nap,” so they could grab a quick nap whenever they needed it, but that wasn’t something they’d taught her yet.

Because there would be kids—and men, even if the kids were left with babysitters—she made a big sheet cake with her mother’s special chocolate frosting. She got fancy and made another batch of frosting, colored some of it red and some green, and piped some roses and leaves onto the cake. Baking was something she enjoyed, and she was the only one of three daughters to have inherited her mother’s touch with cakes. Then to make the kids laugh, she piped some big red lips and a tongue sticking out, right in the middle of the cake. There—something for everyone. She would have added teeth, but she didn’t know the ages of the kids and she didn’t want to scare them.

She’d told everyone to be there at six, but she was dressed—such as it was, in jeans and sneakers and a lightweight sweatshirt—at five-thirty, because she didn’t trust the guys not to show up early. They were guys, after all. “I must be psychic,” she said smugly, when the doorbell rang at exactly five-thirty-eight.

After a peek through the peephole, she opened the door to Jelly and Crutch. “Hi. Did y’all come together?”

“Naw, we stopped dating a year ago,” Crutch said, then laughed at his own joke. “We always have our own wheels, and our gear, in case we get called out on a mission.”

“I’ll have to do that, too,” she said in dawning realization. She was on the brink of full membership on the team. She’d been so engrossed in training she hadn’t thought it through to all the ways, big and small, that her life would change.

“Yep.” Jelly put his hands on his hips and looked around. “Nice place.”

It wasn’t, not really. For starters, it was an upstairs unit, which wasn’t ideal. It was on the small side. Her furniture tended more toward comfy than stylish. But they were bachelors, so what did they know? Some framed prints on the walls, a rug or two, window treatments other than plain blinds, and the place likely seemed almost luxurious to them. Oh—and clean. Clean went a long way.

“Glad y’all come could. Can I get you something to drink?”

“You have any beer?” Crutch asked, looking less than hopeful.

“Beer, soft drinks, bottled water, fruit juice for the kids. Come on into the kitchen.” She’d stocked some popular brands—Bud, Coors, Corona—and had them all iced down in a cooler. She’d barely gotten the beers opened and in their hands before the doorbell rang again. Donnelly stood in the small entrance alcove, a six-pack of beer in his hand.

“I didn’t know if you’d have enough,” he said, holding up the beer.

“Thanks. Want to take it to the kitchen and put it on ice? Crutch and Jelly are already here.”

“Cool.” From his eager look, she thought he was looking forward to hanging with some of the team guys. None of the other team leaders had followed Levi’s lead and involved themselves in their training, so she was the only one who so far had had any real interaction with them.

Only a minute behind Donnelly was Snake, with Ailani and their three kids, ages seven, five, and two—boy, girl, boy. Ailani held a dripping umbrella, and Snake held the two-year-old with a firm grip around the kid’s legs, which was a good thing because the toddler had thrown himself backward and was hanging head down, shrieking. Jina laughed; all of a sudden, the noise felt like home.

“Ailani, Jina,” Snake said in brief introduction. The decibel level from the upside-down kid went up ten points, and he shifted his grip until he was holding his son by both ankles.

“Don’t drop him,” Ailani warned and gave Jina a polite smile. “It’s nice to meet you. Thanks for inviting us, though I’m not sure you knew what you were getting into.”

“I did,” Jina reassured her. “I’m the middle one of five kids, so to me family means a lot of people and noise.” Ailani struck her as somewhat reserved, maybe a little tired and not exactly pleased to be there, so she didn’t overdo the friendliness. “Let me take everyone’s coats, and the umbrella. Drinks in the kitchen, Crutch and Jelly and Brian are already in there.”

“Who’s Brian?” Snake asked as he passed her.

“My date. He’s assigned to Kodak’s team.”

“He is? I can tell him a thing or three about Kodak.”

Next was Trapper, then Voodoo, who for some reason seemed to be wildly popular with Snake’s two oldest kids. There was no accounting for taste, especially at their ages. Boom and his wife, Terisa, were last, with a gap-toothed eight-year-old boy and a big-eyed three-year-old girl who was so cute as she clutched Boom’s leg and peeped around it that Jina couldn’t help squatting down and trying to entice her to talk—a useless effort, because she merely shook her head and clutched Boom’s leg even tighter.

“Her name is Mia. She’ll warm up in a while, and then you’ll regret trying to get her to talk.” Terisa smiled, but her eyes were even more tired than Ailani’s and she was in scrubs, which meant she’d either met Boom and the kids here or they’d been so pressed for time she hadn’t taken the time to change. “Thanks for inviting us; saved me from ordering another pizza.”

Jina couldn’t help shooting a quick look at Boom, who narrowed his eyes at her in warning. Terisa caught the look. “What?” she demanded suspiciously, sending her own narrow-eyed look at Boom. “Have you been throwing off on my cooking again?”

“No,” he said with absolute honesty and beat a path for the kitchen, ignoring the snorting noise Terisa made at his back.

With two tired wives and a bunch of men who were attacking the beer, Jina deemed that the sooner she got food in everyone, the better. She had the taco beef keeping warm in two slow-cookers, and all the other components had been chopped and diced and were ready to set out. Within fifteen minutes, everyone had tacos except the two youngest kids, and she’d had the foresight to get chicken nuggets for them.

Snake’s toddler had stopped shrieking to run around the condo with a chicken nugget clutched in each hand, yelling, “Chee! Chee!” at his mother.

Ailani gave Jina a harassed look. “Sorry. Do you have any cheese other than the shredded? He’s a cheese hound.”

“I do,” Jina said, and got a bag of cubed cheese from the fridge. The cubed cheese evidently called to all the kids, and before she knew it the bag was empty, but the toddler was quiet and happy.

Once everyone had food and drink, the noise level dropped dramatically. The guys were in the kitchen, either seated at her small table or standing with their food on the counters; Donnelly seemed to be having the time of his life. Jina and the other two women claimed the living room where the kids were on the floor pillows, which they thought was great fun. Jina got her own taco and drink and settled on the floor kind of in the middle of the kids, so she could keep an eye on them and give their mothers a break. “I’m glad you could all make it,” she said. “I know it was kind of last minute.”

“No way we were going to pass up a chance to finally meet Babe,” Terisa said, her tone neutral.

Yeah, there was some sticky ground to cover. Jina made a face. “Ace saddled me with that name. It isn’t my favorite, so of course no way would they change it.”

Ailani looked around, as if just now noticing there was someone missing. “Where is Ace? Normally he’d charge through a minefield to get to food.”

“He said he couldn’t make it. Maybe he already had a date.” Except he could have used that as an excuse and hadn’t bothered. Instead he’d slapped her down like smashing a fly with a flyswatter. Under the circumstances, she was proud her tone was nonchalant.

“Have you been seeing Brian very long?” Terisa asked.

“Not all that long.” She wasn’t going to lie, but neither was she going to be specific. “We worked in the same department before we got reassigned to this project. Seeing each other while we’re both in training has been a real challenge.”

“What exactly are you doing? Unless that’s classified, of course.”

“Basically I’ll be providing additional surveillance on-site. Covering their butts,” she added. She put her taco down and blew out a breath. “I’m already having nightmares about maybe missing something and one of them gets hurt.” Or worse. But she didn’t say that, because the reality of what could happen was something they lived with every day. Just like a military wife, or a cop’s or fireman’s wife, they knew that any day could be the day their man didn’t come home.

Ailani glanced toward the kitchen. The condo had a fairly open design, so she could see almost all the guys. She watched them for a moment, her expression saying without words that she, too, had nightmares. “They’re a tight-knit group; I imagine all the teams are, have to be. How are you fitting in?”

Jina made a face and rocked her hand back and forth. “They weren’t happy to be saddled with the only woman,” she said quietly, not wanting the guys to hear. “For my part sometimes I feel so choked on testosterone I want to run screaming down the road. Other than a checkout clerk or my mom, I think y’all may be the only women I’ve talked to in months. I’ve been training such long hours I haven’t been able to make any time for my friends, and they’ve stopped asking. It’s a wonder I’m sane.”

Terisa chuckled at that, and her tone warmed a little. “And here I thought they’d be falling all over themselves making things easier for you.”

That was so genuinely funny that Jina hooted. “They fall all over themselves laughing when I face-plant in the mud. And they don’t help me up, either.”

The doorbell rang again. Surprised, Jina started to set her food aside and lever herself up from the floor. Donnelly had just stepped out of the kitchen and he said, “I’ll get it,” winking at her as he went past. That was perfect, not only the wink, but him acting as kinda-host, as if he was accustomed to being here. She admired his sharpness. But who was doing the ringing now? She not only didn’t think the kids had been all that loud, but she knew for certain her downstairs neighbors were out for the night; they were a young couple who went out with their friends every Saturday night. She began getting up, anyway, because whatever had come to her door was likely some problem she’d need to handle.

Donnelly opened the door and Levi stood there, rain glistening on his dark hair, his big frame filling the doorway. Jina had been enjoying herself—not ha-ha great time, but nice enough—but at the sight of him the bottom dropped out of her stomach and cold dread spilled in, crowding out pleasure. “Hey,” Donnelly said, stepping back for Levi to enter, because of course he recognized him.

The room immediately felt suffocating and small, with Levi taking up all the space. He wore a battered brown leather jacket that was spattered with rain across his shoulders, faded jeans, and scarred boots, the first time she’d ever seen him in anything other than fatigue pants and T-shirts. Come to think of it, this was the first time she’d seen any of the guys—other than Donnelly—in civvies, but she hadn’t really noticed with them. With Levi, she was sharply and, unfortunately, aware of everything.

Because it would look odd if she didn’t speak to him, she said, “Hi. Thought you couldn’t make it.” Then she tilted up her water bottle and took a couple of swallows, unable to think of anything else to say.

“Turns out I could.” His dark eyes were as expressionless as always. “Hi, ladies and munchkins.” There was a chorus of welcomes.

“Plenty of food and beer in the kitchen,” Donnelly said, his easy manner bridging what might have been an uncomfortable silence from her.

Levi shed his jacket and hung it on the hall tree beside the door, followed Donnelly to the kitchen. As he passed by her Jina felt the weight of his gaze, but she didn’t look up. What was he doing here? He’d made it plain he didn’t want to associate with her in any social sense at all.

She couldn’t think of any scenario that would have prompted him to show up, because the one thing she didn’t expect from him was that he would change his mind. Not only that, even if he did, she hadn’t changed hers. Even if she couldn’t quite nail down exactly what he thought of her—not good enough? slutty? stupid?—she knew how she felt, and “angry” didn’t begin to cover it. Even worse, she knew she’d have to suck it up and swallow that anger, because that was the only way she could continue on the team.

The seven-and eight-year-old boys finished their tacos and, being young boys, immediately started looking for something to do. They dashed into the kitchen, and in short order found the balcony, which was accessed through sliding doors in the kitchen, and cold damp air swept through the condo. Knowing exactly what had happened, Terisa called, “Marcus!”

“I’m on it,” Boom said.

“I didn’t know Boom’s name was Marcus,” Jina commented.

“I think I’m the only one who calls him that now.”

The three smallest kids somehow knew something was afoot, and in a flash they were gone, leaving behind juice boxes and a few chicken nuggets. The two-year-old was amazingly fast, darting past Ailani’s outstretched hand. “Eric!” Ailani called. “Catch him.”

“On it!” Snake called.

Terisa and Ailani remained in their seats, taking their time with their meals. Ailani sent Jina a smile. “There are eight big men in there,” she said, “and just five kids. They can handle it. We don’t get the chance to hand the kids off all that often, so I’m staying right here.”

The noise from the kitchen was just short of an uproar, with kids shrieking for some reason, and orders being barked in a distinctly military manner. Jina scooped up some guacamole and munched while she relished the relative quiet of her small living room. She had missed being with other women. With the guys she usually felt as if she had to act tough—okay, so she didn’t actually do it, but she felt as if she should. But the training was so physically demanding that she had to make a big effort to do something simple like painting her toenails, and wearing makeup had gone by the wayside. All she wanted was fast and easy, and at the end of the day she was happy to just be relatively clean.

For tonight, she liked leaving her hair loose instead of pulling it back in either a braid or a ponytail, liked sitting and talking with people who didn’t stink of sweat and dirt. Thinking that made her realize how much she missed her mom and sisters, all her family, and that turned her thoughts to the upcoming holidays. Thanksgiving was just a week away, and her mom had sounded annoyed during their last phone call when Jina couldn’t give her a definite answer about going home.

“How are holidays handled?” she asked. “I just now realized none of the guys have said anything. Do they usually get to spend holidays at home?”

“Sometimes yes, sometimes no,” Ailani replied. She settled back on the sofa, her face relaxing as the piercing shrieks from her youngest turned into giggles. “There’s no way to plan because we can’t predict what might happen that calls them away. It is what it is. During the summer vacation, I take the kids to Hawaii to see my folks, and that’s a nice break from the heat and humidity here.”

Jina laughed. “Hawaii? Yes, that’s definitely what I’d call a nice break.”

“Where’s your home?” Terisa asked. “You’re definitely southern.”

There was no mistaking that, not with her accent. “South Georgia.”

“Are you going home for Thanksgiving? This will likely be your last chance for a while, because you’ll finish training soon and then heaven only knows where you’ll be.”

Evidently Boom had told Terisa that jump training was her last phase, and then she’d join the team full-time, which was more than any of them had told her.

“She can’t go home until she finishes jump training,” said Levi from the kitchen, proving that he was keeping track of conversation in both rooms.

“You won’t be doing training on Thanksgiving,” Terisa retorted, raising her voice to make sure he heard her. “Marcus won’t, anyway.”

There was a rumble of laughter from the kitchen. “Guess you got your orders,” Voodoo said.

“No argument from me. I like Thanksgiving.” Boom stuck his head around the corner and winked at his wife.

“I like this,” Ailani announced out of the blue. “Us in the living room, and the men in the kitchen. Usually it’s the other way around. I could get used to this.” She settled back against the cushion with a blissful smile on her face. “After dealing with clients, some days the last thing I want to do is see another kitchen.”

“We need to schedule some regular breaks for you two,” Jina said. “It’s a win-win. Everyone comes here, y’all can rest, and I get to be with women. I miss my family.” She tried to keep her tone neutral, but all of a sudden she did miss them so much she ached. Getting away from them was good, that was why she’d moved to the D.C. area to begin with, but she hadn’t seen any of them in months and months and that was way too long. If she could go home at Thanksgiving, she was going, even if it was for just that one day.

When she got up to cut the cake, the kids all came running. “I want the tongue!” Boom’s son—his name was Matthew—shouted, and Levi said drily, “Son, don’t we all.”

Everyone except Jina laughed, but Levi joking around was almost more than she could take. She was tolerating him being here, but that didn’t mean she was comfortable with it. After flaying her with words, here he was eating her food and destroying the peace of being in her own space. She didn’t want him here, didn’t want to be able to picture him standing in her kitchen.

“I think I can cut it so all of you get a piece of the mouth,” she told the kids, and did just that, making a circle in the middle of the cake and then doing some artful cutting that allowed each kid some of the red frosting. Snake stepped in and took the small plate for his toddler, who set up a bellow of rebellion. Over the noise he said, “Sit in my lap, buddy, and I’ll help you eat the tongue cake, okay?”

“No! No! Mine!”

He scooped the struggling, protesting kid up under his arm. “It’s yours, I’m not going to eat it, I’m just going to help you. Now settle down.” The last three words were said sharply enough that the rebellion subsided to a quivering chin and damp eyes, which changed to contentment as soon as the first bite of cake was in his mouth.

It was amusing watching Snake deal with his little hellion, but it did make Jina think twice about wanting kids sometime in the amorphous future. Now, if she could be assured her kids would all be cute charmers like Mia, that would be different. Not that she had to worry about kids now, with not even a hint of a romantic relationship anywhere in her life.

The whole cake soon disappeared; she felt lucky to be able to serve some of it to Terisa and Ailani and grab the last small slice for herself and retreat to the living room. The rest of the evening went pretty much the same way, with the men grouped in the kitchen with the kids running around. Deep voices rumbled, bursts of laughter came and went, but with the kids around there were limits to the raunchiness they could descend to. The women were content to sit in the living room and chat. When Mia sought out Terisa, climbed into her lap, and promptly went to sleep, Jina took that as a sign that the families would generally have an early departure time. She had no idea what time the single guys were thinking about leaving, but she didn’t mind shooing them out. She’d fed them, she had given them beer; her social obligations had been met.

There wasn’t much food left to put away, but she got up and took care of that chore. Ailani and Terisa of course offered to help clean the kitchen, but Jina refused them with a smile. “There isn’t much to clean, just some spoons and such. I worship at the altar of disposable plates and cups.”

“Amen, sister. I’m trying to remember the last time I ate on a real plate,” Terisa said.

Snake came in with the wild child asleep on his shoulder. “We should get these kids in bed,” he said. “Thanks for having us over, Babe.” He paused. “Where did you get that cake? Brody wants a ‘tongue cake’ for his birthday.”

“I made it.”

“Liar.”

“Am not. I can make cakes, and my mom taught me how to decorate them.”

He turned and raised his voice so he could be heard in the kitchen. “Hey, guys, Babe made the cake!”

She saw right away where that was going. “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “I’m not baking cakes for y’all. Just not.”

“Aw, come on.”

“Feeding the bunch of you is not my job. I didn’t take you to raise.”

They left kind of in a group, a few of the guys still trying to talk her into baking for them. Levi wasn’t one of them. She had no idea why he’d come, unless he was just looking for free food and hanging with the other guys. He went out without looking at her or saying good-bye, which was fine with her. Donnelly stayed behind, which was also fine; that’s what a boyfriend would do.

“Thanks for coming,” Jina said as she began loading the few dishes into the dishwasher. “This was nice.” Not great, but nice. He was a good guy to help her out the way he had.

“I enjoyed it. The guys are cool, aren’t they? I’m looking forward to joining my team, though I wish Kodak had made an effort to work me into the team the way Ace has with you.”

She snorted. “Even though they’ve worked my butt off, trying to get me in what they think is acceptable shape?”

He lounged against the cabinet beside the dishwasher, watching her work. “Yeah, even then. When you go on the first mission, you’ll already be part of the team. You know them, and they know you. The rest of us will be going in cold, not knowing what to expect.” He paused. “Maybe you should send a memo to MacNamara that he should make integrated training par for the course.”

“Maybe you should send the memo. Bring yourself to his attention.”

Now it was Donnelly’s turn to snort. “Yeah, right. Like I want him to notice me.”

“Then why are you trying to throw me into the cage?”

He grinned at her, not the least abashed. “Better you than me, right?”

He hung around a few minutes more, making small talk, then yawned. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “This program has turned me into one of those mutants who go to bed early.”

Jina barely kept herself from yawning, too—and it was just nine o’clock. She saw Donnelly out and locked the door behind him.

Blowing out a breath, she surveyed the condo. Not much damage had been done; she’d have to stack the cushions on the floor in some corner to get them out of the way, but for the most part things were in fairly good shape. The parents had ridden herd on the kids and kept them pretty much under control. Nothing had been broken, a few things were out of place, and that was it. She’d been to parties with her friends that resulted in way more chaos.

She’d been straightening things for a few minutes when the doorbell rang. Muttering under her breath because Donnelly must have forgotten something and she was already out of the mood for company, she nevertheless took the time to check through the peephole.

Levi.

She stood frozen, her heart thundering in her chest. His effect on her was instantaneous, and maddening. What in hell did he want? A second later she decided she didn’t care and left him standing out in the small foyer while she returned to her neatening. He could stand out there all night for all she cared.

The bell rang again. “I saw you check the peephole,” he said, his deep voice barely muffled by the wood. “Open the door.”

“Go away,” she retorted. “I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Tough shit. I have something to say and it’s going to get said tonight, even if I have to kick your door in.”

“I’ll have you arrested if you do.”

“No, you won’t, because that would screw with the team.”

She knotted her fists and clenched her teeth, caught with the truth of that. Working as hard as she had to join the team had made the team a whole lot more important in reality than it had ever been in concept. The guys weren’t just guys, they were teammates.

She unlocked the door and opened it, but kept her hand firmly on the doorknob and herself planted in the doorway, denying him entrance. If he really wanted in, she wasn’t physically able to stop him, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to invite him inside.

“What?” she demanded truculently, trying to ignore the almost overwhelming physical presence of him, man mixed with the scent of rain and the chill of a November night.

He looked down at her, dwarfing her with his height and muscularity, his mouth thin and his dark eyes with that flat expression. “I came to apologize.”

“I don’t accept your apology,” she shot back. No way was what he’d said all right, and he couldn’t make it right.

“Then don’t. I waited in the parking lot to see if Donnelly left—”

“Stalkerish, much?” she muttered. “You could have sent me a text, so I could ignore you. I prefer that approach. Honest.”

“What I said—it was true. I should have phrased it better, but it was true.”

“Fine. You aren’t good with the English language. I don’t care. You can leave now.”

When she started to close the door, he slapped his left hand out and stopped it. “You’re going to listen,” he growled, taking a step forward so she would have to tilt her head back if she wanted to look at his face.

She didn’t. She kept her gaze straightforward, staring at his chest. He was so close she could feel the heat coming off his body, feel the fury and frustration almost boiling in him. A hard pulse was pounding in the hollow at the base of his throat, like a visible hammer.

He waited, but when she didn’t say anything else, he inhaled, blew out the breath. “I left out an important piece of information.”

“That you’re an asshole? I already knew that.” She couldn’t relent, couldn’t make herself retreat to a more civil position. She had never in her life been so angry and humiliated and, yes, hurt, and she hated feeling like that, she hated herself for being susceptible to him, hated him for knowing.

“It goes both ways.” His tone was deep and as full of anger as she felt. “You need to know that. It goes both ways.”

Then he turned around and left, his lithe stride taking him down two steps at once; he turned the corner of the landing and she couldn’t see him anymore, though she stood there in the open door listening to his booted steps, the sound of the outer door opening and closing.

Numbly she closed her door and locked it, then slowly sank to the floor with her back against the door, staring sightlessly at nothing.

He could have gone forever without telling her that. She wished he had. Because nothing had changed, except now regret was added to the pain in her heart.