Chapter Ten

 

Dear Broken Soldier,

 

There’s so much to say, though as you know, I suffer from gross ineloquence. I thought for one tiny blink of time that maybe I would overcome this emotional dyslexia.

That thought was so brief it barely existed. It seeped into my head when your arms encased me and your heart beat against my cheek. It was the first time I’d ever felt safe, like I belonged. I know I’ll never feel it again, though this fact doesn’t scare me—what else is there to fear after love and treachery?

Awful things happened, greed, deception, jealousy. Innocents were hurt; we cannot deny that truth. We did it. We caused their pain. I did it for material gain, yet all along, the one thing I truly needed—if only I had known—was nothing I could steal with my light fingers. It was something which needed to be given freely—something you gave without me ever forming a devious plan. You gave me your heart, trusted the true me when no one else had, and I, being me, shattered that trust into a million tiny pieces when I saw those gems cradled in my palm.

It was a path of self-destruction I had no choice but to travel. I accept my guilt. I am who I am. I would do the same again. I would not be able to help it. Breaking things before they break me is the easiest way—it gives me control over when it’s going to happen.

But I ask just one thing of you now, in that moment before you wake from your tormented slumber, because I know that’s all it ever is, in those few seconds between dreaming and consciousness, if you think of me then, please, I beg you, grant me the innocence of a woman who is not bad to the core.

Because I’m yours, and I always will be. I have no capacity to entertain another in my life; there was only ever going to be one person, and that happened to be you. Physically, you’ve gone but the void was filled. For a thin slice of time, the door was open; now, it’s shut but full of memories, images and feelings, piled high with what once was.

You took my heart, you took my soul. At least someone did in this solitary existence I have been dealt.

I hope you find your peace my love.

Thief xxx

 

Six weeks later

 

Sprawled on a luxurious cushioned sun lounger in St Tropez, Kat revelled in the solar warmth seeping into every pore of her body. Stretching, she woke from yet another doze and pointed her toes towards the stone wall of her balcony, beyond which the Mediterranean lapped. She flopped her arms over her head towards her exclusive five-star, top floor suite.

Mr. R. W. Robinson had been a godsend. Who’d have thought he’d have gone so long without noticing the American Express at the back of his wallet was missing? He’d seemed pretty dozy when she’d had a drink with him, but now, she knew how really dense he’d been. But she’d take a leaf from John’s book and wouldn’t push her luck. Another few days and she’d find another credit card, another hotel, maybe even another town.

But for now, she’d enjoy. Perhaps she’d even take a dip in the crystal clear pool later, leave the sanctuary of her private balcony and wander through the lush gardens and tropical vegetation. Meander over the bamboo bridges spanning ponds heaving with giant goldfish and cool off before the evening began and she searched out a fresh fish for supper in the beachside restaurant.

She reached for a tall glass and slurped through the curled straw. It tasted heavenly, fresh and sweetly sharp. She’d acquired a real taste for it lately. Lemon iced tea. She set it back down on the table and reached for her music, headphones and the photo she’d found herself increasingly drawn to over the last week.

She couldn’t make out much of him, just his bottom lip covering hers and the stubble on his cheek—the colour of volcanic sand. His blurred forearm holding the camera blocked most of the view, but there was something about the way his lip was pressed a fraction below hers, devouring, owning, and the way her neck had arched eagerly to greet his mouth. It was a highly erotic, sensual picture if you happened to have been there when it was taken.

It was the only one he’d left her.

He’d taken the others.

She placed it by her side and dropped her shades over her eyes.

When she’d awoken alone in her apartment and found the diamonds replaced with rice, she’d accepted her fate with less anger than she’d expected. She’d quickly packed her bags and headed for Heathrow, catching the first flight she could to somewhere hot, which happened to be St Tropez.

She’d written John a letter as her heart had torn in two on the plane. Sent it to his home address as soon as she’d landed before she’d changed her mind. But she didn’t think John would have ventured back to his apartment. He would have used the diamonds to get a fabulous lifestyle somewhere else. The millionaire extravagances he’d talked about. He’d be in the Caribbean or the Indian Ocean being handfed grapes by a gaggle of gorgeous girls. She could picture him now, a contented smile on his face, a large whisky in his hand and a week’s worth of growth on his chin.

Slotting the small black headphones into her ears, she hit her favourite tune and reached for coconut sunblock to apply to her exposed nipples. She teased them to hard, balmed points then nestled back onto the soft white towel beneath her. She ran her palm over her flat, bronzed belly and a ghost of a smile caught her lips.

The first member of her family she would ever meet was at this moment no bigger than a tadpole. Buried deep and safe, growing and developing each day.

It had been a shock a week ago when eating in a restaurant to realise she was late. She was normally like clockwork, and an over-the-counter pregnancy test confirmed what she’d already known. Feeling faint with shock and delirious with happiness, she’d been unable to contain her excitement ever since.

Without a doubt it was John’s baby. It was the only possibility. The dates were perfect. She’d always been careful to use condoms in her professional life, but that week, that magical week when she wasn’t alone, all thoughts of contraception had gone out of the window. Completely. Neither of them had even mentioned it. Lust and desire had taken over. She’d been so intoxicated by the incredible feelings she was experiencing there’d been plenty of opportunities for a new life to be created totally unhindered by the presence of a condom.

For the first time ever, she had a piece of news she didn’t want to keep to herself. It would feel more real if she told John. Whether or not he’d be pleased, indifferent or furious, she had no idea. But just the same, she wanted him to know about their baby.

But going back to John’s apartment now was impossible. London was Carlos’s territory. She recalled what he’d said about John having a bounty on his head. There’d be one on hers too—a hefty one—and it wasn’t a gamble she was prepared to take. Carlos wasn’t a problem for John, but for her, it was too much of a risk, especially now she was responsible for another life.

She closed her eyes to the glare of the sun and, once again, remembered their last wild sex session. It had been so intimate, so full of trust. So frenzied one minute and so magical and gentle the next. Was that when their baby had been conceived?

She liked to think so.

Suddenly, a cool shadow clouded the skin on her cheeks. A big hand clasped over her face covering her sunglasses and forehead, keeping her held tight against the sun lounger. “What the…” Desperately, she flicked her eyes open but could see only a tiny crack of light through the gaps of huge fingers over the lenses.

“Hi, Pussy Cat,” came a low rough voice.

She gasped and pushed forward through the resistance. The hand fell away as soon as she moved.

“John!” she blurted, amazed to be looking at his real face when she’d been visualising him in front of her. “What are you doing here?” She tugged the headphones from her ears.

He rose from his crouched position, fought a grimace and rubbed his knee. He pulled a lounger parallel to hers. “Surprised?” he asked.

“Just a little.” She frowned. How had he known where to find her?

“You got a mini bar in there?” He nodded towards her suite.

“Yeah, but call room service for a whisky.” She handed him a white cordless phone balance by her iced tea.

He took it, hit zero. “Whiskey, s’il vous-plait,” he said when it answered immediately. “Double.”

He looked obscenely handsome with a deep golden tan. His hair was longer than when she’d last seen him and slightly mussed over the top. He wore brown leather slip-ons and a pair of cream chino shorts teamed with his usual, plain black T-shirt.

She was about to ask what he was doing in St Tropez when his gaze travelled slowly over her body, naked except for tiny bikini bottoms. An approving smile played on his lips which he then licked.

With a flush of female power, she stretched out her legs and wriggled her French manicured toenails. She was glad she wore her favourite bright yellow bikini bottoms. They looked fabulous against her deep tan.

The waiter knocked and Kat shouted her usual permission for entry. He appeared on the balcony with a double whisky on a small silver tray. John took the drink with a gruff, “Merci,” and knocked back a mouthful.

He brought his attention back to Kat and flexed and un-flexed his knee with his palm pressed on the angry scars.

Kat finally found her tongue. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be off spending your millions.”

He grinned. “Well, it’s only one million if I’m honest.”

“Honesty, huh? Now there is a refreshing change.” She lolled her head back onto the lounger and shut her eyes as if the whole conversation bored her; as though the fact he was there held no interest.

 

* * * *

 

John knocked back the rest of his drink. He might be trying to appear chilled, but he wasn’t in the mood for games. He knew what he wanted, and he’d come to get it.

He’d decided as he’d stepped into the lobby of her apartment building with a pocket full of diamonds what he wanted, and by the time, he’d said a final goodbye to the old security guard he knew exactly how he was going to get it.

The whole plan had just taken a couple of weeks longer to come together than he’d anticipated. But he was in St Tropez now, his newly re-sprayed Porsche sat in the hotel lot after having driven across France via Amsterdam and Switzerland, and his London apartment was sold with the equity, along with the money he’d got for the diamonds, sitting in a high earning Alpine account.

Now, finally, the time had come to get the one last thing he wanted—no, make that needed. So, as far as games went… No, John wasn’t in the mood, not one little bit.

“Tell me something,” he said. “Did you mean what you put in your letter?”

“You got that?” She turned and beneath her glasses he saw her eyes open. “I presumed that had drifted into infinity, it’s been so long since I sent it. It was all airy, fairy crap anyway.”

“Crap eh? What was crap was that you didn’t put a damn address on the top. It would have been a hell of a lot easier to find you.”

Kat shrugged. “Didn’t want to leave a paper trail.”

“Maybe subconsciously you didn’t want me to find you.” He tugged at his bottom lip as he studied her full, glossed mouth covered in startling red lipstick. “You know what I think.”

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me, John.”

“I think you’re too scared to care and let someone else care, despite your words?”

“Actually, I was thinking about you just now, so that must count for something.”

“Good thoughts, I hope.”

She removed her glasses, and her features melted in a way he was unfamiliar with.

“Well…I think so.” She hesitated over the words, and it tweaked his curiosity all the more so he waited for her to elaborate.

She didn’t. Instead, she looked down and flicked an imagined bug from her stomach.

He took hold of her wafting hand and sighed. “I couldn’t have given you what you thought was your share and had any left for myself if that’s what you were thinking about.”

“You could have just told me that to begin with.”

“Yeah, and you could have told me the first night we met at The Fox and Goose you were going to steal my car.”

She shrugged, her slender tanned shoulders moved up and down against the white of her towel causing her breasts to jiggle.

 “Kat,” he said, forcing his gaze to stay on her face. “You’re a pain in the arse to shop with, and you really are a terrible cook, but I’ve missed being around you.” He wondered if she would add the same sentiment to the conversation.

She didn’t.

He continued, “I know you didn’t want me to leave you that last time in your apartment, and I knew you had the diamonds, or at least you thought you had the diamonds.”

Kat glared at him through narrowed eyes. “How could you possibly have known what I wanted or about the damn diamonds?”

“Because, baby, you’re so easy to read.” He smiled. “You, like millions of other people, flick your eyes up to the left when you lie—you tap into the imagination part of your brain. I hadn’t bothered to look for it before, but the minute I did, you became a book, especially when so delightfully physically distracted.”

Kat scowled and reached for her drink.

“You didn’t want me to leave, even though you said you did, and that made me so happy and I realised with you is where I want to be. It’s all I’ve been able to think about these last six weeks.” He knocked back another slug of his drink. “And when I read that letter, well, I knew you were hurting as much as I was.”

She turned to face him, her mouth open to speak but he chipped in. “I came looking for you, because I want to be with you all day, every day. I’ve no one else to be with.” He frowned. “No, that came out wrong. I want to be with you, no one else. That’s what I’m saying, or trying to say, but not very well. All this money, all the stuff I can buy. All I really want is you.” He swallowed, hard. “I’m sure we could make it work if we start being honest with each other. We just need to quit with the lies and grow some trust.”

He let go of her hand and dug deep into his shorts pocket. When he withdrew it, between his thumb and index finger he swung a thin gold necklace with a large diamond set in a pendent.

“It’s like the one I already have.” She touched her favourite piece of jewellery which sat around her neck.

“You bought it from Mickel, Taylor, Smith on Park Lane, didn’t you?

“Yes, but, but…how do you know that?”

“It’s where I worked. I’m guessing you paid about four grand for it, what it’s really worth is about fifty quid. The night we met at The Fox and Goose wasn’t the first time we stole from one another.”

Kat sat forward and fumbled behind her neck for the clasp. Her breasts swung gently and John eyed her sun-darkened nipples with appreciation. He let his gaze drift to the small roll of flesh in her stomach. It was also tanned and she had a tiny darker brown line travelling from her naval to the citrus yellow of her bikini bottoms. She looked good enough to eat. He would in a minute if it went his way.

“Here, I don’t want this one anymore.” She handed him the fake necklace and pinched up the new one he offered. Within seconds, it was around her neck and nestling at the top of her cleavage.

“That’s much better,” he said, his fingers itching to reach out and touch her dewy skin. “It bugged me constantly when I saw you wearing it.”

“Hmpf.”

“And…” he cleared his throat, “if my knee wasn’t so fucking bad, I would get down on it to give you this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This.” He rooted in his pocket for a second time.

“You’re talking in riddles, John, it irritates me.”

Between his thumb and index finger, he pulled out an enormous diamond set in a white gold ring. “Marry me.”

 

* * * *

 

Kat’s mouth caught in a perfect circle of shock.

The man was a lunatic.

Ten minutes ago, she’d been sunning herself peacefully, and now, if she’d heard right, she was getting a marriage proposal. Something she never thought she’d receive in her life. But then again, she’d also never thought she’d have a baby.

She took a steadying breath and pulled her gaze from the exquisite diamond being offered. “Put that away.” She experienced a flash of guilt as his expression fell. “I need to tell you something important. That’s why I was thinking about you.”

John didn’t put the ring away. He wrapped his fingers around it and held it in a clenched fist. “Fire away,” he said, his voice sharp and his eyebrows pulled low.

Kat reached for her drink and let the cool liquid dampen the fire burning in her chest. Much as she’d wanted to tell John about the baby, now he was sitting in front of her, she wasn’t so sure. What if he denied paternity, accused her of trying to trap him, or worse, tried to take custody of the child once it was born.

She placed her drink down and could feel his eyes busy searching for hers. He’d just asked her to marry him so surely he felt something for her. Perhaps he’d be thrilled, delighted even at the thought of a child.

Either way, she couldn’t back out now. She couldn’t accept or refuse his proposal without handing over the facts. She had to be honest. It was a weird, unnatural sensation, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever get used to it.

Spreading her palm across her stomach, she said quietly. “I’m going to have a baby, John, I’m six weeks pregnant.” She held her breath and waited for his reaction.

His gaze flicked to her hand resting protectively over a non-existent bump.

“Are you sure?” he asked quietly.

“Sure I’m pregnant or sure it’s yours?”

“Both.”

“I’m sure to both.” She held his eye contact. “It’s your baby, John. We didn’t use any contraception, and there was no one for a while before you and certainly not since.”

He leant forward and hovered his hand over hers as if not daring to exert even the slightest pressure on her abdomen. His face hardened, and a muscle flexed in his cheek.

Kat’s heart plummeted.

He didn’t believe her.

If he did, he would have said something, he would have made some kind of comment.

Instead, he was just staring at her belly, not saying a word. It was her own fault, all her own doing, she could only blame herself. Why should he believe her? She’d done nothing but lie since the first night they’d met. The man must be a fool to ask her to marry him after the way she’d behaved. Drop dead gorgeous but nevertheless, a fool.

But if she had only one chance in her life to be believed, she would gladly use that chance now. Because it was the truth. She’d even secretly hoped the baby would have his deepest, darkest shade of eyes. If it was a boy, she’d already imagined he would grow tall and have his father’s wide shoulders and broad, solid chest.

“Don’t play games with me,” John finally said. His jaw was so tight it could have been carved from marble.

“No more games.” She gave a tentative smile. “Just honesty.”

He didn’t smile back. Instead he scooped up her hand, bent double and placed a lingering kiss on the flat of her lower abdomen.

His gentle touch sent a river of contentment flowing through her body. All those bolts around her heart shot wide open. She let him in, completely and unreservedly, and prayed he wouldn’t back out—because that would finish her off forever.

He kept his face over her body, and she placed her hand on the top of his head. His longer hair felt burning hot, and she loved being able to touch him again.

He really is here.

When he lifted his head, a twinkle in the centre of her stomach caught her attention. It was the diamond ring. He’d placed it neatly in the cleft of her naval.

“We met in a pretty unusual way,” he said, a grin stretching across his face. “But I’m a traditionalist at heart and as you’re, well you know, in a delicate condition, we should get married as soon as possible.” He sat with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands knotted together. “Let’s be a family. I know we could do this. We’re a great team you and me.”

“Marriage,” she played with the word in her mouth. “Husband…wife?”

“Yes, no more need for lies and deceit, not with me. Lie to whoever else you want, give a false name on the marriage certificate if you’re so worried about paper trails, but with me, just the truth. Nothing but the truth. Can you manage honesty with one other person on the planet?”

She reached for the ring and slid it onto her finger. “Yes, always the truth for you, and the truth is, I want to be a family. I want to be your family.”

The next thing she knew he was kissing her. Soft and gentle, he covered her lips with his and swept his tongue into her mouth.

She melted, gave herself up. Everything she didn’t know she’d needed was right there in his kiss.

“I love you, Pussy Cat,” he murmured onto her lips.

She pulled back to look at him, opened her mouth to speak—words wouldn’t form.

He cocked his head.

“I…” She tried again.

“It’s okay.” He shrugged. “I didn’t say it to hear it back.”

“I…” She paused, swallowed.

“Don’t,” he said softly. “I hope one day you’ll feel as strongly for me as I feel for you and then you’ll be able to say it.”

“I…” She pushed her finger to his lips. “I love you,” she said for the first time in her life. “Now, right this minute, I love you. You don’t have to wait.”


He grinned, cupped her face and moved to kiss her again.

“I love you, John Taylor,” she mumbled rapidly. “I love you, I love you.”

Suddenly, she lunged forward with an uncontainable surge of excitement. Her movements so fast and jubilant she rocked him back onto his lounger.

He laughed as she wiggled on top of him. She drew her knees up at his sides as he lay out straight. His hands slid around to her rear as she bent and peppered kisses onto his jaw line and around his neck.

“Hey, baby,” he said through her mass of tumbling hair, “should we take this reunion inside?”

“Who can see?” She sat bolt upright and made a show of looking around. His erection prodded at the gusset of her bikini and she squirmed all the more just to hear him groan. “It’s perfectly secluded up here.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said in the husky voice she loved. He reached out and gently rolled her nipples between his fingers. “What about the baby, will we hurt him?”

“Him?”

He shrugged. “I come from a long line of males.”

“Well, I have no idea about my genealogy so we’ll just have to wait and see what we’re given.”

“But will we, you know, hurt him…or her, if we, you know, make love?”

“No, don’t be silly.” She tugged at his fly. “Your dick’s big, but not that big, soldier.”

“You’ll pay for that,” he mumbled, pulling her down so he could wrap his lips around her nipple. “Mmm, you taste tropical, like coconut or something.”

She moaned at the sensation of his mouth on her newly, super sensitive nipples. She adored it. She’d missed it.

“Did I hurt you?” His face creased with concern. “I don’t want to hurt you, I never would, and…” He paused. “I was worried you may have been scared. Driving all this way, I kept thinking about the stuff we’d done, that I’d done to you, you know, real intimate stuff. I’d hate it if you’d been scared of me when it was all just to get a buzz.”

“Scared of you?”

“Yeah. If you’d said stop, you know I would have, that still applies, will always apply. No matter what we get up to in the future.”

“The only thing that ever really scared me was losing you.” She pictured the gun aimed at his chest and shook her head to rid the memory. “So don’t mess around with guns and don’t disappear whilst I’m asleep again, okay?” She pulled down the zipper of his shorts.

“We’re about even on that one, but no, I won’t, I promise.”

An animal-like growl rumbled from his throat as she caught his protruding cock in her hand.

“Oh, fuck, I’ve missed you, Pussy Cat.”

“I bet you have,” she said, crawling down the lounger on her hands and knees, her butt high in the air. “And I bet you’ve missed this, too.” She wanted him in her mouth. She adored giving him oral sex, had replayed each encounter in her mind over and over. And now, she couldn’t wait to do it for real again. Her palate was watering for his musky taste and desperate for the steely length of him rutting against the roof of her mouth.

Hastily, he dragged his T-shirt over his shoulders and flopped backwards. “If you’re going to do what I think you are, I’ve died and gone to heaven, baby.”

She took him in her mouth and dropped all the way down.

“Ahhh…fuck yes.”

Ignoring her gag reflex, she pulled a breath through her nose and absorbed his delicious, slightly salty, masculine taste. He hit the very back of her throat and the base of her tongue enveloped his shape, undulating and rolling the thick throbbing vein she found there.

His entire body shook with sudden tension, his muscles clenched and his cock jerked. “Jeez, you do that the best.” He sank his fingers into her hair and massaged her scalp, moving in time with her dipping and rising head.

Knowing the effect she had on him increased the strong pulses of desire shaking her own insides. She could come just from giving him head. She would one day; she would just let it happen.

“Turn around, baby,” he grunted. “I want you to sit on my face.”

She hesitated. Sucking his cock was something she preferred to do without distraction. She wanted to concentrate her efforts, finely tune her skill. She was more than happy with the current position.

“Come on, let me taste your sweet pussy again.” His voice was ragged, desperate.

She heard voices passing below her balcony.

“I need you,” he whispered urgently.

She clenched her pelvic muscles. The thought of him kissing her there, sucking her clit was such a temptation. Not only that he was beginning to pick her up and physically turn her, treating her like a doll the way he was prone to doing. She actually had no choice in the matter.

The next thing she knew, her bikini bottoms were discarded, and her kneeling position now included his tongue lapping between her legs.

She groaned around his cock as heat from his mouth seeped onto her pussy. It was a deep guttural sound and she hoped it didn’t carry too far. She could feel him sliding the tip of his tongue from her wet entrance to the tip of her clit. He began circling expertly. A needy tremor shivered through her pelvis. An orgasm would soon be there for the taking.

“Ahh, baby, I’ve missed your flavour,” he mumbled between licks. “So fucking delicious, I’m gonna taste you every day for the rest of our lives.” He added a probing finger into her pussy, searched out her G-spot and began to fret with a wickedly fast rhythm.

She collapsed on top of him, her elbows giving way and forcing him even farther into her mouth. She spooned her tongue and sucked with a force she knew would send him reeling, then flicked at the smooth ring of skin underneath his glans with the tip of her tongue.

“Jeez, woman, you want me to embarrass myself?” He moaned, jerking away from her mouth. “It’s been six weeks since I…”

Kat groaned as he pulled away and took his attentions from her quivering pussy. “John, no, please. Let me suck your dick. I want it, I want it all.”

He chuckled, an oddly strained sound, then turned her to face him again and straddled her over his hips. “Plenty of time for that. Right now, I just need to be inside you more than I’ve ever needed anything in my whole damn life.”

She flattened her palms on his chest and allowed his penis to nudge her entrance. He was right. There was only one way to celebrate being back together, and that was joining as one and reaching for that glorious high at the same time. They would have the rest of their lives for fun stuff. Right now, they just needed to get down to the serious business of a really good fuck.

She sank low, her pussy rejoicing in his invasion. She threw her head up to the dazzling sun as he filled her heated channel to the max. Finally, after all the years of self-imposed solitary confinement, she opened up completely. The feeling was euphoric. Letting John into her heart, body and soul for the rest of time felt good. More than good, it felt warm and safe, passionate and exciting.

The first wave of an almighty orgasm careered into her stomach and chest with all the grace of a steam train, stepping up through the levels and freezing her on that perfect plateau of bliss.

She gasped. “John, I’m…c…”

His cock solidified and he stilled, his breath snagged in.

Her neck remained tipped and her back arched. She squeezed her eyes to the harshness of the sun and was invaded by laser bright lights flashing and searing. His fingers circled over her clit, and the plateau extended to the size of a continent. The tight pinch of release just a split second away.

“I’m coming, baby,” he groaned.

Then she felt him pulsate, first one huge surge, then faster, shorter ones as he shot out his burning desire. Her plateau ended, and she fell off the edge with him. Hurtled downwards and upwards, left and right. She called out his name as her internal muscles contracted. No longer caring who on the hotel grounds could hear her happiness.

He sat bolt upright and gathered her trembling, convulsing body into his arms. “You’re mine forever,” he said through his breathlessness. The words mixed with the orchestral sound of her orgasm rushing through her ears. “I would die for you and our child. You’ll never be alone again.” He caught her mouth in a hungry kiss.

Kat’s climax culminated in tears of happiness, another first. She’d been alone her entire life, but now, with John it was all going to change. Her childhood dreams of having a family, of living happily ever after were about to be realised, and soon, she’d have not just one person to love and hold—but two.

 

THE END