Chapter Nineteen
I woke up to Mason’s lips trailing down my stomach.
“Mason Deveraux,” I sighed. “You are insatiable.”
He lifted his head and looked up at me with a wicked grin. “I didn’t hear any complaints last night or very early this morning.”
“It’s not a complaint. It’s an observation.” I giggled, then gasped as his mouth made my back arch. “Isn’t there something you should be doing?”
“Yes, and I’m doing it.”
Half an hour later, I was still nuzzled in his arms. My head was tucked under his chin and his fingers were stroking my side.
“I never want to leave this bed,” I murmured.
“There’s no place I’d rather be, but I need to find out what’s going on downstairs.”
I lifted up on my elbow. “You’d leave me all alone in this bed? Naked?”
“Now who’s insatiable?” he asked, pushing my head back onto the pillow and thoroughly kissing me before lifting himself up with a wicked grin. “I thought sleeping with you would make me less obsessed with thinking about you naked, but I think it’s actually worse now that I have the real image in my head. It’s a good thing I’m not in court or I might be too distracted by the memories of my tongue on your—”
“Mason!” I giggled. “You would not. You’d be Mr. No-Nonsense, only happier than usual.”
“Not just happier, more content,” he whispered. “Hopeful.”
“Me too.”
“Rose, I know we should take things slow, but I’ve waited for this for months, and I’m struggling to put on the brakes after last night. If you need me to slow down, please tell me.”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t want to slow down. I want to feel all of this with you without worrying that something’s too much, too soon. Let’s not set any rules except to be honest with each other.” A lump lodged in my throat. “And no secrets. I’ve had enough secrets to last a lifetime.”
“No secrets.” He kissed me softly.
My stomach growled and I laughed. “I think I’ve worked up an appetite.”
“Let’s get dressed and eat. I’m not sure when Jeff’s coming.”
He got up and found his pajamas on the floor.
I slid out of the bed and walked toward the bathroom, looking over my shoulder to see Mason watching my naked backside. “I’m going to take a shower. If you want to join me.”
He took a deep breath then stepped into his pants. “You have no idea how much I want to—”
I turned around to face him, leaning against the doorframe.
His gaze traveled from my face to my toes. “—but I need to…um…”
I laughed. “Get ready for when Jeff comes?”
“Yeah, that.” He crossed the room within seconds and pulled my body against his, his arms wrapping around my back.
He kissed me possessively, making me dizzy with desire and ready to climb back into bed. Obviously he felt the same way since he started to drag me in that direction.
Muffy scampered to the bedroom doorway and started barking.
Lifting his head, Mason asked, “Does she bark for no reason?”
“No,” I forced out. “Not usually.”
“Don’t leave this room,” he said. Then he rushed out of the room, still shirtless, shutting the door behind him.
I didn’t know how he expected me to sit here and do nothing, but I also realized that I’d only get in his way if there was real danger. Still, I was sitting naked on my bed. If Daniel Crocker had found us, no need to make it so easy for him.
I was rummaging around the rumpled bed for my pajamas when the door opened.
“It’s Jeff.” Mason stepped into the room.
I released a breath. “Oh, good.”
He bent down and retrieved his T-shirt and pulled it over his head. “If you still want to shower, feel free. We’ll be in the office going over my files.”
“Okay. I’ll be down in a bit.”
He started to leave then stepped into the room and tugged me to his chest, kissing me again. He lifted his head with a grin. “Let’s pick up where we left off later.”
I watched him walk out, wondering how he could set me ablaze in only a matter of seconds.
After I showered and dressed, I checked my cell phone on the nightstand then stuffed it into the pocket of my jeans. It was only ten percent charged and wouldn’t make it through the day. I had thought about turning it off before I went to bed, but I hadn’t wanted to miss a call from Jonah or Bruce Wayne.
When I went downstairs I wasn’t surprised that the two men were in the office, but I hadn’t expected that the French doors would be closed.
I grabbed my jacket off the hall tree and opened the front door to let Muffy out. Deputy Miller was in the same spot on the front porch, but this time another deputy was sitting beside him. Muffy ran out the door and stopped at the top of the steps, releasing a low growl as she looked at the deputies.
“Good morning, Deputy Miller.” I glanced over at the new guy. “And Deputy…?”
“Good morning, Rose.” Deputy Miller glanced at his partner. “Don’t mind Deputy Gyer. He’s not much of a morning person.”
Muffy continued to growl.
I bent down and rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s okay, girl, go potty.”
She slunk down the stairs, turning back to give me a look that assured me she wasn’t happy about it. I watched the deputy from the corner of my eye. He was young too, but probably a little older than Deputy Miller. He had short dark blond hair and his dark eyes were hard and unfriendly. He obviously took his job very seriously, which I supposed was a good thing in this situation. I just felt more comfortable around Deputy Miller.
“Are you going to be with us all day, Deputy Gyer, or are you just here with the chief deputy?” I asked, leaning against the support post.
Deputy Gyer looked up at me and smiled, but the expression didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll be here all day, ma’am. You just let me know if you need something.”
A chill ran down my back. “Thank you.”
After Muffy finished her business, we went inside. I could see that Mason and Jeff were still in the office through the glass panes of the closed doors. Mason was sitting in the desk chair and Jeff had pulled up a seat beside him. The chief deputy looked up and smiled, motioning for me to join them.
I opened the door and stood in the entrance. “Good morning, Jeff.” I still felt shaky from my experience with Deputy Gyer. “I don’t want to interrupt your discussion.”
“No, we were just wrapping up. Mason told me that he’d shared with you some of what we’ve been doing.”
I glanced from Jeff to Mason, worried he’d be in trouble. “He didn’t tell me much.”
Jeff saw my concern. “Not to worry, Rose. No one’s in trouble here. Mason said you helped him look at things in a new light. That spark helped him make some startling connections that neither of us had seen before.”
“So you’ve figured out the leak?”
He grinned and clapped a hand on Mason’s shoulder. “No, but Mason’s very close.”
Mason rubbed his forehead. “But not close enough.” He looked up. “Still, I’ve determined the leak is from the sheriff’s department.”
Jeff nodded. “I’m leaving Deputy Gyer with Miller today.”
Mason looked up, surprised.
I motioned toward the front door. “I just met Deputy Gyer when I let Muffy out.”
Jeff grimaced. “Ah… Well, I hope he was polite and professional. Deputy Gyer is not happy to be out here. He thinks he’d be much more effective on the Crocker manhunt, but he’s one of my most trusted men. While he’s unaware of the internal leak, he’ll react quickly if something happens. I’ll feel better knowing he’s out here with you two.”
“Do you have any leads on Daniel Crocker?” I asked.
Frowning, Jeff patted Mason’s shoulder. “That leads me the second reason I’m leaving Gyer here. There’s something I need to tell you, Mason. I just wanted to get through this business first and wait for Rose.”
Jeff’s tone caught Mason’s attention.
“Why don’t we go sit in the living room?”
“Okay.” Mason stood, giving me a worried look.
I waited in the doorway and took Mason’s hand in mine, squeezing it before we sat down on the sofa.
Jeff sat on the coffee table in front of us, his fingertips pressed together. He suddenly looked exhausted. He closed his eyes and sighed, then looked at Mason. “There’s no easy way to tell you this.”
Mason tensed and I put my other hand over our clasped ones.
“Crocker burned down your condo.”
I gasped.
Mason’s jaw clenched but his face remained expressionless. “How do you know it was him?”
Jeff sat up straighter and ran a hand through his short graying hair, releasing a sigh. “He—or more likely one of his buddies—wrote you a note on your driveway in spray paint.”
Mason’s hand tightened around mine. “What did it say?”
Jeff pulled out his cell phone and drew up a picture before passing it to Mason.
Mason stared at it and started to hand it back, but I grabbed it from him. The image made me gasp.
You’ve taken what’s mine and now you’ll pay was scrawled in red spray paint on the concrete.
I dropped the phone onto the table next to Jeff and jumped to my feet, releasing Mason’s hand.
“Don’t you dare,” Mason growled, turning toward me. “Don’t try to accept responsibility for what he’s done.”
“He’s going to hurt you.” My voice broke as terror washed over me.
“Rose.” Jeff stood and moved in front of me. “Crocker has no idea where you or Mason are hidden. We have a lead we’re following. A neighbor saw two cars at the scene and got some partial license plate numbers. We’re running those now. Crocker’s been out of jail for a few days and is no closer to getting what he wants. He’s getting desperate, which means he’s going to get sloppy. But that’s why I have Deputy Gyer here. While he may not have much personality, he’s sharp and he’ll protect you.” He picked up one of my hands and squeezed. “It’s my job to take care of you, and I promise you that I’ll do everything in my power to do that. What’s more, I have a personal investment in this case now.” He released my hand and gestured to Mason. “Mason’s not only my friend; he’s exactly what Fenton County needs in the DA office. For the first time in a long time I feel like we can break free of the good ole boy mentality and corruption. But Mason needs to be a part of that.” He steeled his back. “Don’t worry. We’ll catch him.”
I nodded even though I wasn’t so sure.
“How bad is it?” Mason asked.
“It’s a total loss. The fire marshal says they doused everything in some type of accelerant.”
Mason sat back on the sofa, his face paling. “What about my neighbors? Was anyone hurt?”
“No. Your neighbors got out in time. But they lost everything too.”
Mason nodded and stood up, starting to pace.
Jeff grabbed Mason’s shoulder and held on. “I’m sorry. I probably should have told you when I first got here, but I wanted to see what you had first, and I was worried the fire would distract you. And there was nothing to be done about it. What’s done is done.” His voice was tinged with sadness.
Mason shook his head, still looking dazed. “I understand.”
“I’m sorry, Mason. But like I said, we’ll catch the bastard.” He dropped his arm. “I have to go. Walk me to the door?”
Nodding, Mason followed him.
They stood in front of the door and Jeff leaned his mouth close to Mason’s ear, lowering his voice. I could still hear him. “I don’t think he’ll find you, but if he does, don’t hole up. Try to outrun him. It might not be a bad idea to establish some kind of escape plan. You and two deputies won’t be able to hold off Crocker and all his posse.”
Mason’s mouth pressed into a thin line and he nodded. He walked Jeff outside and I headed into the kitchen, my feet carrying me there without conscious thought. Muffy stayed close, more subdued than usual.
I had started a pot of coffee when I caught movement in the doorway. Startled, I jumped and dropped a mug on the floor, the pieces flying everywhere.
“I’m sorry,” Deputy Miller said, hanging his head. He was holding a bag of dog food in his hands. “Since Mr. Deveraux was outside with the chief deputy I thought it would be safe to come in.”
I shook my head, bending to pick up the bigger fragments. I blushed, realizing what he meant. “I’m just jumpy. Thank you so much for bringing Muffy some food. She loves people food, but it doesn’t necessarily love her.”
He set the bag on the table and squatted to help me clean up the floor.
“You don’t have to do that, Deputy.”
“I know, but the company is a lot friendlier in here than outside.”
I gave him a smile and then stood up and threw the broken pieces in the trash.
“You shouldn’t be walking around in here barefoot, Rose,” he said, moving toward me as he spoke. Grabbing my waist, he lifted me onto the counter. His hands stayed on my hips and he stared into my eyes.
I grabbed his hands and pushed them away. “Thank you, Deputy Miller. I think you should go back outside now.”
He opened his mouth to say something, still leaning close, but I said, “Now, Deputy.”
Mason appeared in the doorway. “Rose, is there a problem here?”
I didn’t want Deputy Miller to get into trouble because he had a crush on me, even if his behavior had been unprofessional. It just saddened me that I wouldn’t be able to be friends with him now. “No. Deputy Miller brought Muffy some dog food, but he was just leaving.”
The deputy’s face reddened. “Rose dropped a cup and broke it. I was helpin’ clean it up.”
“Thank you,” Mason said, his words gruff. “I’ll help her now.”
Deputy Miller brushed past Mason and stood in the doorway for a moment, giving me one last look before leaving.
“What really just happened, Rose?”
I shook my head and brushed the hair out of my face. “I’m not totally sure. He brought Muffy some dog food, but he startled me when he came in. So I dropped a cup and when I started to pick up the pieces, he insisted on helping. Then he said I shouldn’t be walking in here barefoot and lifted me onto the counter.” I paused, feeling sad. “I’m sure it was nothing.”
“Then why do you look so upset?”
We’d agreed on honesty, so I had to tell him even if it was embarrassing. “I thought we were friends, but I don’t want to encourage him if he has a crush on me.” I paused, looking up into Mason’s eyes.
He nodded and kissed me lightly. “But he was right about walking around barefoot. You stay here and let me find a broom.”
Mason grabbed a broom from the mudroom and started to sweep up the shards.
“I’m sorry about your house,” I said, wishing there were more adequate words.
He shook his head, keeping his gaze on the floor. “It’s just a house.”
“Mason, it’s not just a house. It was your home.”
He stopped and turned to me, leaning into the broom. “Yes, it was my home, but what happened with Savannah taught me that some things in life are far more important than material possessions.” He swallowed and looked up at the ceiling, his eyes glassy. “She called me about a week before her death. She wanted to come stay with me for a few days, but she didn’t tell me why. She’d taken her breakup with Joe hard and she’d resorted to some…unseemly behavior.” He paused. “She’d begun to drink heavily. I suspected she might be dabbling with some recreational drugs. Enough of a problem that she was having issues at school.” He swallowed, lowering his gaze to mine. “But when confronted about it, she refused to stop. So when she asked, I thought she was losing her apartment due to her bad choices and told her no. Not until she got her shit together.”
My eyes sank shut for a moment under the weight of his pain. “Oh, Mason.”
“I was trying to show her tough love, to get her to straighten out her life.” His tone hardened. “But part of it was that I didn’t want her in my apartment, screwing up my life. What kind of brother does that make me?”
I slipped off the counter and went to him, putting my hands on his chest. “It makes you human. Yesterday you told me neither one of us are perfect. We’ve both made plenty of mistakes we regret. But you loved Savannah and she knew it.”
“It wasn’t enough.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his chest. “It was the best you could do at the time.”
“Maybe losing my condo was penance for not letting Savannah stay. That’s what a voice in my head told me as soon as Jeff gave me the news.”
Tilting my head back, I said, “No. Losing your condo was the result of a psychopath.”
He handed me the broom and headed for the living room. “I need to get back to work.”
“Mason.”
He stopped in the doorway, waiting.
I didn’t know what to say. Nothing would make him feel better. So I just did what came naturally. I went to him and kissed him for all I was worth, twining my fingers in his hair. “You are a good man, Mason Deveraux, and don’t you dare let yourself believe differently.”
His expression was pained, but I thought I saw hope in his eyes. “You make me feel like I can be one again.” He broke free of my hold and went into the office.
An overwhelming sadness washed over me. Unsure how to handle it, I looked through the cooking supplies and found a biscuit mix. I was still starving, so I made biscuits, taking my frustration out on the dough. When they came out of the oven, I put some in a basket and took them outside to the deputies, setting them on the table between them. Deputy Miller might have inappropriate feelings for me, but he still needed to eat. And maybe I could get the other deputy to warm up to me.
“I just made some biscuits if y’all want some. I can bring you coffee too.”
“Thanks,” Deputy Gyer said. He pointed to a couple of thermal mugs on the floor and offered me a forced smile. “Got it covered.”
I headed back inside and took Mason a biscuit and a cup of coffee. He glanced up at me. “Have you seen my cell phone? I could have sworn I left it on the desk and now I can’t find it anywhere.”
I tugged my phone out of my pocket and pulled up his number. After I pressed enter, I looked up at him in surprise. “It went straight to voice mail.”
He grimaced. “It must be dead. I forgot to charge it last night.”
“I’ll look around for it if you want.”
He closed his eyes then opened them, looking exhausted. “You don’t have do that, Rose. It’s not why I asked.”
“I know, but you’re working and I’m looking for something to do.” I shrugged. “Perfect match.”
The corners of his mouth lifted and his face softened. “Perfect match.”
I grabbed a biscuit and coffee from the kitchen, looking for his phone there before heading upstairs. I checked the front room first, feeling like I was snooping, particularly when I opened his bag to see if he’d tossed the phone there. All of his clothes were neatly pressed and organized. I shook my head and smiled. Mason loved order and my life was anything but orderly.
Mason’s phone wasn’t on the nightstand or under the bed. I stooped and peeked under the dresser, which is when I remembered what I’d found there the day before. The journal. Suddenly I couldn’t wait any longer to look at it. I knew I should keep looking for Mason’s phone, but surely it wouldn’t hurt to take a break.
I pulled the journal out and sat on the middle of the unmade bed. Muffy jumped up with me, still quiet and unusually lethargic. I patted her head. “Did all that pasta last night make your tummy upset?”
As if on cue, a stench filled the room.
I waved my hand. “Muffy! Was that really necessary?”
The smell was so bad that I got up and moved into the nursery, sitting in the rocking chair. I opened the journal and started with the first page. Dora had been in high school when she started writing in it and her entries were sporadic. She tended to write when she was upset and stressed, which made sense. When people were happy, they were too tied up in their happiness to bother writing about it. I skimmed through bad relationships in college and stopped when she first mentioned meeting Daddy.
I know he’s twelve years older and he has a wife—a wife, for heaven’s sake!—but my connection to him is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I know he feels it too, although he’s trying to do the honorable thing and remain faithful to his wife and baby. Still, I can see that he feels the pull. How long can he resist it?
It was weird thinking about Daddy that way. I only remembered him as the beaten, broken man he’d become after losing Dora. I never would have guessed him to be capable of great passion and love. I flipped more pages, passing the entry I’d read the previous day.
I can feel the baby moving now, the little flutter of feet and hands feel like angel wings. That’s what this baby is, an angel sent to me. I’m sure of that. This baby was sent to save me.
That gave me pause and filled me with guilt. If Aunt Bessie was right, my birth probably got her killed. I scanned through more pages, stopping when I saw a list titled regrets.
A list filled the page ranging from ending my friendship with Angela over a fight with Steve to not helping grandma more after she broke her hip. The last—getting pregnant with Rose—had a line marked through it.
Many would consider having an affair with a married man and getting pregnant with his child a mistake, but I will never regret it. I’ve known more love and happiness in these last seven months than I’ve ever had in my entire life. Still, my life has been full of regrets, mistakes I hope my sweet Rose never makes. I want to make sure the path she takes is different than my own, that she’s always reassured that she is deeply loved and cherished.
As I stared down at the journal entry, a wet spot appeared on the page, slightly smearing the ink. I wiped my face, which is when I realized I’d started to cry. I set the book on a table next to the chair and lay back against the cushions, closing my eyes. Reassured that she is deeply loved and cherished. I had never really felt loved and cherished until meeting Joe. His love had helped me blossom into the woman I was today. Jonah insisted I had done it on my own, but I didn’t believe that was entirely true. Joe had given me the gift of fun and happiness and joy. He’d loved me unconditionally. But Joe’s love had been wrapped in secrets and each time a new one had unfolded, more distrust had seeped in. Part of me still loved Joe, but the bottom line was that I didn’t trust him and never could again. And without trust, we had nothing.
I stood and wiped my eyes. Enough wallowing. Joe was in my past, and it was time for me to move on, whether with Mason or not.
Movement caught my eye behind the house. I parted the curtains to see a figure in a tan sheriff’s uniform heading for the barn. I couldn’t see his face, but he had dark hair. Deputy Miller.
I picked up the journal and stuffed it back into the drawer. I was supposed to be looking for Mason’s phone and I hoped he hadn’t resorted to looking for it himself. Grabbing the now cold cup of coffee, I headed down to the kitchen to grab the coffee pot before heading to the office.
Mason was still bent over his desk. “I didn’t find your phone,” I said.
He looked up with a worried expression. “That’s so odd. I could swear I set it down right there—” he pointed to the corner of the desk “—when I came in here with Jeff. I don’t remember seeing it after that. I wonder if he picked it up accidently thinking it was his own.” His gaze shifted to the coffee pot in my hand and he grinned. “If you’re here to give me a refill, you really are an angel sent from heaven.”
The similarity to my mother’s journal entry caught me off guard and I hesitated before refilling his cup.
He noticed the change in my face. “Is everything okay? Did something else happen with that deputy?”
Frowning, I shook my head. “No. Nothing like that. I read some of that journal I found, which is why it took me so long to come back down. Dora called me her angel sent to save her.”
His face fell. “Rose…I’m sorry… I didn’t know….”
I offered him a smile. “Of course you didn’t.” I waved my hand. “I’m fine. She’s just beginning to feel more real to me, is all.”
“Well, I’m here if you need me, okay? Don’t worry about bothering me.”
“Thanks.”
I headed out the front door, Muffy trotting along. She ran down the steps and claimed a bush. I was going to offer fresh coffee to the deputies, but Deputy Miller wasn’t on the porch. He came running around the corner of the house and skidded to a halt when he saw me.
“Ms. Gardner, I hear you’re a landscaping expert and I saw a bush on the side of the house that I don’t recognize. I’d like to get one for my mother. Could you come look at it and tell me what it is?”
My back stiffened. “I don’t…”
Deputy Gyer sat up and gave the other man a look of disgust. “What are you thinking? She’s not supposed to be outside. Now get your ass up here.”
Deputy Miller slowly climbed the steps to the porch and sat in his chair. His whole body seemed to hum with agitation.
Giving me a smile, Deputy Gyer lifted his open travel mug. “If you’re offering refills, I’d be obliged.”
I stepped in front of Deputy Miller to top up the mug. I had already started to pour when my vision began to fade.
I was running through a field, out of breath. The sky overhead was dark and gray. Continuing to push my way through, I shouted, “I don’t see them!”
“Well, find them, dammit,” a familiar male voice snarled.
Just as suddenly, I was back on the front porch, coffee overflowing from the mug onto the floor. “You’re looking for someone.”
Deputy Gyer jerked his hand back, splashing more coffee on his coat. “What?”
Who had he been looking for? While all fields looked similar, I was certain it was the one on my farm. And suddenly something registered—I knew the other voice from the vision.
I needed to tell Mason immediately, but first I needed to cover my tracks. “Isn’t that what you’re doing? Looking for Daniel Crocker?”
He shot me another glare before turning away to look at the driveway.
My cell phone vibrated in my pocket.
“They’re trying to find him, Rose,” Deputy Miller said, offering me an apologetic look. “Hopefully, this will all be over soon.”
I looked away from his face and down to his chest. A necklace half-hung out of his shirt. My breath caught in my throat.
It was a St. Jude’s medallion.