I CHEW ON my bottom lip as I stare up at the nice home through the windshield. We’ve been in San Diego for three weeks now, and I still haven’t found the nerve to see Brie. I’m not sure why, but I feel like our friendship is broken. How do two wronged teenage girls who were forced to grow up way too fast find their way back together?
She knows everything.
I know she knows.
I’ve heard Diego talking to her on the phone. It’s definitely me, not her. She wants to repair our friendship. And if it weren’t for Diego forcing me to see her, I’d have chickened out.
I don’t think twice about barking out orders to men three times my size who carry assault weapons, but when it comes to facing my best friend, I am weak.
“Are we going to sit in her driveway all day?” Diego asks, his palm resting on my thigh.
I turn to regard him and shrug. “Maybe.”
He smirks and relaxes in his seat. “Take all the time you need. I’m on vacation.”
I roll my eyes, but it’s true. Diego has let me handle all of my father’s affairs and has only stepped in when I’ve needed him. Together we made sure we fortified our shipyard here in California, but he let me be the one to boss everyone around. Most of the men have known me since I was a kid, so they weren’t opposed to being under my leadership. The Gomez empire has come together over the past few months because we’ve done it together as partners.
And just like usual, he’s waiting until I’m ready.
We go in together.
I’m still deep in thought when someone beats on my window with their fist. I shriek in surprise, and Diego already has a gun drawn from his belt aimed across me at our attacker. When I meet the familiar face of my ex-boyfriend, I swat Diego’s arm away.
“Calder,” I cry out, surprisingly happy to see him.
He pulls open the car door and tugs me into his arms. His hug is strong. Much different than I remember.
“When did you get so big?” I tease.
He chuckles and shrugs when we pull apart. “Probably about the same time you did.”
We both look down at my growing belly and smile.
Calder’s grin falls when a dark shadow comes up behind me. His eyes lift and worry flickers in them.
“Clader, this is my husband, Diego.”
He nods and holds his hand out to shake Diego’s. Diego shakes his hand but then points near the garage door. “Who’s she?”
“Luciana,” Calder says, pride in his voice. “My fiancée.”
Her cheeks turn pink as she hesitantly makes her way over to him. He wraps a possessive arm around her before hugging her to him.
“Fiancée, huh?” I say with a grin. “Wow. Congrats.”
“Nice to meet you,” Diego says.
She gives him a shy wave.
“You can’t speak?” He snorts. “What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”
“A cat named Esteban,” Calder growls.
A silent understanding blankets the air around us.
Luciana begins using her hands to speak in sign language. Calder translates for us.
“He cut out my tongue. I thought he ruined my life. But then I met a stunning sex god named Calder the Great.” As soon as he says the last line, she swats at him and grumbles. Her sign language goes faster but he translates quickly to keep up. “I didn’t say that. Calder is just being Calder. We recently took a sign language course together so we could communicate but he gets lost in translation sometimes. I’m so happy you came to see Brie. She talks about you all the time.” Her nose crinkles and she points at Diego. “You too.”
“How do you two kiss?” Diego questions point blank.
I elbow him in the side, but he simply winks at me.
Luciana raises her hands to answer, but Calder decides to show us instead. His fingers slide into her hair and he tilts her head up. Her black lashes bat shyly at him but she parts her mouth open in anticipation. Their lips press together softly at first but then he kisses her hard. Nothing about their kiss from the outside appears abnormal. Just possessive and consuming and filled with love. It makes my heart threaten to burst. Calder was always a good guy, but he was meant for a good girl.
I was a villain.
And I finally found my match.
When they finish their public display of affection, Calder motions us inside. “The food will be shit. Just warning you right now. Brie can cook macaroni and that’s it. Ren knows how to heat up the leftovers we bring over. If we didn’t live at the end of the street, these two knuckleheads would starve. Let’s just pray they ordered pizza. So help me if Brie tries to make enchiladas again…”
Luciana groans and holds her stomach. “Ew.”
Calder reaches for the door when it swings open. Ren, a giant version of the guy I remember, stands in the doorway with a baby swaddled in a pink blanket in his arms. All apprehension fades away the moment I see the baby.
“Oh my God!” I screech as I run straight to him and give him a quick hug. “Is this Alejandra?”
He chuckles. “We call her Ally for short but yes. Fussy as fuck.”
I playfully swat his stomach and steal the sweet infant from him. Her big nearly black eyes stare up at me. I love her and she isn’t even mine. “You’re so beautiful. You and your brother are going to be best friends with our little baby.”
Ally lets out a big sigh, and I laugh.
“Come inside,” Ren says with a chuckle. “Brie’s feeding little D right now.”
I peer over my shoulder and Diego stands in the threshold with stiff shoulders. Ren’s gaze drifts to his and his jaw clenches.
“Bygones, man,” Ren says, if anything a little begrudgingly. “You’re married to one of my good friends and she’s happy. Let’s move forward.”
Diego told me of his previous flirtations and advances with Brie. He said he was like that with all women until I put his balls in my purse forever. Such a romantic, that guy.
“Come on, babe,” I tell him and walk inside.
The house smells good. Like something has been cooking all day. Calder saunters past me tugging Luciana behind him and hollers. “What is this sorcery?”
Brie rounds the corner with another brown-haired baby, but this one is latched to her breast. She sees Calder first and sticks her tongue out at him. “I can read directions, asshole. Luci gave me a crockpot recipe to try. Shut your pie hole and eat my food or I’ll make you change the twins next time they have a monster diaper blowout.”
He gags which makes Ren snort with laughter. These people, my friends from ages ago, are happy. Happy looks good on them. Diego wraps an arm around me and kisses the top of my head. It’s then that Brie sees us. Her smile falls as tears well in her eyes.
“Vee.”
She walks over to me and we stare at each other, both of us with babies in our arms. Silly tears sneak out of my eyes as I regard my friend. I thought it would be weird, but mostly I’m just happy to see her.
“You look well,” she tells me with a huge grin. “Is this punk still being good to you?”
Diego chuckles and the deep rumble warms me to my soul. “I’m good to her every single night, cariño. So good. I think even the people three towns over can vouch for how good I am to her.”
Brie snorts and shakes her head. “I forgot how perverted you are.”
“I highly doubt that,” he retorts.
Ally starts fussing and Ren comes to the rescue. He’s big and bulky now but the way he looks at the babies melts my heart. I wonder if Diego will regard our future children with such a brilliant look of raw love.
I know so.
As soon as he walks away with the baby, Brie’s eyes bug out. “YOU’RE PREGNANT?!” she screeches which makes baby Duvan jump in surprise.
Diego hugs me from behind and palms my belly. “Mi familia.”
She shakes her head but beams at us. “Would you look at us? We’re all grown up now.”
“But Vienna still likes to call me daddy,” Diego says as his teeth nip at my ear.
Brie laughs. “Oh my God. I don’t even know how you put up with him, but I’m glad you’re happy, Vee.”
She reaches her hand for mine and I take it. Of course I take it. Brie is my best friend. Some shit happened, some time happened, and some distance happened. But our friendship still exists. A sturdy tree that still stands after one helluva hurricane.
As she pulls me toward the living room, I can’t help but make sure my other half is coming with me. Where I go, he goes. We’re two halves of a very perfect whole. His lips are quirked up into an amused smile. I love how his light brown eyes seem to twinkle with mischief.
With my best friend tugging me along and my husband having my back, I can’t help but think life doesn’t get any better.
I feel a tiny nudge in my stomach and it reminds me.
The best is yet to come.
“I can have Dan update me by phone. We don’t have to go,” Diego says, his black brows furled together in concern.
I reach over and brush his black hair out of his eye. “We need to go. The new shipment arrived late last night, and we need to make sure everything goes smoothly. These first few shipments are important.”
He frowns. “But you’re sick, Vienna.”
Bile rises in my throat, and I wince. The morning sickness, I thought, was supposed to end after my first trimester. But Tatiana tells me some women are lucky to have bouts of it throughout their entire pregnancy. Today I’m having a damn bout of it.
“I’ll drink some ginger ale and it’ll pass,” I assure him. My stomach gurgles, and I groan. “Actually, just go. If I need you, I’ll call. The shipyard isn’t but ten minutes from here.”
He sighs and leans forward to kiss my swollen belly. “I’ll be back in an hour. I will make it quick, and Dan will take care of what needs to be done.” His hot breath tickles my stomach. “Daddy will be back soon,” he tells our baby. Tatiana had asked if we wanted a scan to discover the sex, but we both decided we wanted it to be surprise.
“Be careful,” I tell him, my voice cracking with emotion. Lately, I have all of these fears that my husband will die. At the hands of others, a horrific accident, dropping dead of a heart attack. Every terrible way to die, I’ve thought it. Some nights I can’t sleep after having a panic attack over losing him.
He leans forward and kisses my lips. His lips pull up on one side. My body burns with desire every time he looks at me with that sexy smirk of his. “Feed my baby and then I’ll come home and feed you.”
I laugh and watch him as he crawls out of bed to start dressing. We’ve been staying at my parent’s old house, which now belongs to me, while we stay in the States. Ever since I saw Brie for the first time a couple of weeks ago, we’ve visited just about each day. I didn’t realize how much I missed her. Ren and Calder and Luci are a packaged deal. It’s nice having them in my life. And I even got to meet War and Baylee. War was the favor Diego called in several months ago. He acquired some earrings that were fit with a tracking device. It was how they found me in that shipping container.
“Bring back those yummy buffalo wings from that pizza place down the street,” I order. When he lifts a brow, I flash him a sweet smile. “Please, Daddy.”
He shakes his head. “So demanding, mi diablita.”
I shrug and stare at his ass as he bends over to grab some socks from a drawer. “I thought you like it when I get all feisty.”
“Feisty for my cock,” he corrects and then looks over his shoulder to give me a smoldering grin.
If he weren’t about to leave, I’d beg him to stay. I’ll show him feisty…
But then another wave of nausea ripples through me. I don’t even realize I’ve closed my eyes until I reopen them and see Diego squatted in front of me beside the bed. Concern has chased away all playfulness in his features.
“I should stay,” he murmurs, his thumb dragging along my jaw.
I reach forward and touch his lips. “Go. I’ll sleep. When you get back, you can take care of me for the rest of the day.”
He stares for a long moment but then gives me a clipped nod. His lips press to mine before he stands upright. “Thirty minutes tops. Sleep.”
When the bedroom door clicks shut, I drift off to sleep with my husband as the star of my dirty dreams.
Glass.
I jolt awake and find that I’m drenched in sweat. I’m about to sit up and yank off the T-shirt I’m wearing when I hear heavy footsteps pounding down the hallway. Something about the urgency in the steps tells me my visitor is not Diego.
Shit.
He warned me months ago. The cartel is a dangerous business. Just because we’re in love and happy doesn’t mean that we aren’t still in the thick of the most dangerous criminals in the world. We must always be vigilant and aware. And despite always having men on guard, things can still happen. People can still slip through.
The door flings open and crashes into the wall behind it. I’m stunned frozen when the figure enters the room. The monster before me is horrific. Straight from a nightmare. I am wondering how he came back from the dead just as he speaks.
“Hello, Vee,” he snarls, a shiny metal gun in his grip.
I can’t help but gape at his disfigured face. Oscar was once so handsome. The sexiest man I knew. But then he lost himself. He turned into this thing. And that was all before his brother bashed his face in. His nose is severely crooked. One of his eyes doesn’t open all the way and the eyeball seems to drift. He’s baring his teeth at me. Most are broken. The dark hair that he used to wear in a stylish way is bushy and hangs in his face.
“Oscar,” I murmur. “What are you doing here? I thought…Esteban… You were so close to death…”
He growls, and the sound sends a shiver up my spine. “After he left with you, I got the hell out of there.”
What?
It makes me wonder whose body they threw in with Esteban. Diego told his men to obtain Oscar from the office. Apparently they grabbed the wrong dead guy along the way.
“Why are you here?” I try again. I’m attempting to distract him with words while I work out a plan to defend my baby and myself from this monster.
“You know why I’m here,” he hisses. “I’m here to fuck you up like you made my own goddamned brother fuck me up. Then, I’m going to tear your ass up before I put a bullet in your skull.”
He yanks the blanket off me, and I scream. His eyes peruse my bare legs but when his gaze finds my rounded belly, he glares.
“I’m pregnant, Oscar,” I tell him softly. “Just go. Nobody has to know you were here.”
Our eyes meet. His are hate-filled and lost and full of vengeance. Mine are fierce and violent and full of the need to save my child. One of us won’t leave this room today.
“Take off your shirt,” he demands. “I want to see what you’re hiding under there.”
I shake my head. “Please leave.” I’m warning you.
“Vee,” he barks. “Take off your goddamned shirt and let me see your stomach.”
Time seems to stand still as I’m reminded of when I was seventeen.
“Show me,” Oscar begs, his dark eyebrows scrunched together as he gives me a sad face.
I want to show him more than my fake belly button ring but everything is a mess right now. Daddy says I need to squash my feelings for Oscar because he may end up being the one who is to be married to Brie.
But I don’t want to squash anything.
I want him.
Brie left earlier, complaining of a headache, so Oscar and I drank by ourselves. Normally, he’s wedged between us on the bed as we flirt and cut up. Now, it’s just the two of us. I’ve been friend-zoned hard with him. But sometimes I wonder, if I wasn’t too shy to make the first move, could things change between us?
“Show me,” he pleads again. His palm rests on my bare thigh. Despite it being an innocent touch, I can’t help but tremble from the sensation. His fingers inch up under my cocktail dress, sending ripples of excitement coursing through me.
“I don’t think your girlfriend would like me showing you,” I snip. I’ve been trying to play hard to get, a new tactic, but I’ll be damned if that isn’t hard as hell.
“You know I don’t have any girlfriends. There are only two girl friends I love.” He gives me a lopsided sexy grin that turns my insides to mush.
“Okay,” I breathe.
His eyes darken as he grips the bottom of my dress. He drags the silky material up my thighs over my panties. Our gaze is broken when he darts his eyes to look at my panties. When his palm brushes over my pubic bone, I shiver. He palms my stomach and then runs his thumb over the piece of metal that just pinches my skin versus actually piercing it. I bravely reach forward and pull my dress up to just under my breasts to expose my entire stomach to him. The liquor we’d downed earlier does nothing to calm my nerves.
“Vee,” he murmurs as he leans forward. “I like it.”
I exhale a sharp breath when he kisses my stomach. So innocent yet so full of intent. This could happen. I could finally have Oscar. My panties are wet with excitement. I squirm in need for his touch, but he seems unaware.
“Any other fake piercings I should know about?” he questions, his finger brushing over my clit through my panties.
I jolt and let out a whimper. Say, yes, Vee. “No.”
He frowns. “Too bad.”
I’m mentally berating myself for being a wussy when his mouth finds my belly button. His teeth latch on to the metal and he tugs on it. It pulls my skin but breaks loose. Our eyes meet for a heated moment, and I know that if we keep flirting at the rate we’re going, we’re going to have sex. The thought thrills me.
His hand grips the top of my panties just as someone knocks on the door. I shove my dress down quickly and he sits up. “Who is it?”
“You’re being summoned,” Esteban grumbles from the other side of the door.
Oscar groans and climbs off the bed, a giant boner in his slacks. So close. So damn close. He flashes me a guilty smile before answering the door.
Esteban glances over Oscar’s shoulder at me on the bed and smirks. “Two naughty kids up to naughty deeds. Need someone to show you how things work?” He makes a vulgar motion of his finger going in a hole. “I could perform an example, little Oz.”
Oscar punches him in the arm. “Shut up. We were just talking. Like always. Friends, fucker.”
Esteban snorts and winks at me. “Tell her that.”
“Vee.” The voice is cold and it drags me out of my warm memory. This man—this monster—is not the boy from my past. That boy died a long time ago. Probably not long after his brother Duvan.
“I always loved you,” I murmur, my voice tight with emotion. “I loved you from the moment I walked into your kitchen and you told me to chase after you. I’ve chased you ever since.”
He growls. “I was always here.”
“And so was I until…” You raped me. I sniffle and shake my head. “Doesn’t matter. We weren’t meant to be.”
His hand shakes but he keeps his weapon pointed at me. “I miss those days.”
A tear leaks out, and I slide my hand under the pillow to grip the cold metal Diego gave me for emergencies. This constitutes as an emergency. “So do I.”
“We can’t ever get them back, can we?” His voice cracks. The sadness nearly splits me in two.
“No,” I whisper. “We can’t. Not ever.”
A harsh sob catches in his throat. “But I want them. I want them back.”
“Oscar, you should leave.” Don’t make me do this…
His lip trembles. “I don’t want to be this person.”
“So don’t be,” I whisper.
He falls to his knees as a gut-wrenching sob escapes him. My heart shatters and breaks. The person who raped me and abused me is long gone. The boy from my past is hurting and lost. I wish I could fix him. I honestly wish I knew how.
“I’m sorry, Vee. I’m so sorry for everything.”
He lifts the gun and I panic. I’d been focused on his words, not readying the weapon under my pillow. I stare in horror as the gun slides into his mouth, rather than to point at me. Tears stream down his cheeks.
“Oscar!”
Pop!
So many times I visualized his death after he hurt me. So many times I planned on making him pay. But then…then he broke down in front of me. I didn’t see the monster, I saw him. Oscar. Playful, funny, flirtatious Oscar.
A loud sob pierces the air, and I realize it’s me. When I scramble to the floor, I know he’s gone. Half of his skull is blown out on the wall in front of me. Blood pools on the carpet beneath his head.
I know he’s dead.
Yet, I pull him into my arms and hug him anyway.
I tell him everything’s going to be okay. That I forgive him. That I love him.
“R-Remember that time we found that p-puppy one summer and we hid him in the woods b-behind your house?” I question through my tears as I hold him to me. “Savvy was her name. She was so cute. How old were we? Eight and Nine?”
He doesn’t answer.
He’ll never answer again.
“She’d gotten loose from the rope one day and had run away. We both cried so much our dads thought something bad had happened.” I laugh and stroke the side of his face. “Your dad kept asking us to give him a name. All we could get out was Savvy. How long did he search for ‘the motherfucker who hurt his kid named Savvy’ anyway?”
I lie him back and take his hand in mine. I try not to look at his mangled face or messed up head. Instead, I kiss his knuckles and pretend we’re kids again. I’m not sure how long I clutch him, but I’m brought out of my daze when two strong arms lift me. I’m carried like a child into the giant bathroom that used to be my parents. My hero sets me down on the counter before starting the bath. Then, he peels the bloodstained shirt from my body and undresses himself. Carefully, he helps me into the tub and settles behind me.
“What happened, mi amor?” Diego murmurs, his mouth pressing kisses against the back of my head.
I sob and shudder in his arms. “He said he was sorry.”
He hugs me tight and doesn’t let go.
I hope he never lets go.