Alice
“You’ve been using me?”
He didn’t say it in those words, exactly, but I’d have to be an idiot not to reach that understanding. Afterglow be damned, I’m fuming.
He sits up, shifting uncomfortably, and I move a little further away from him on the couch.
“That’s not it. I’ve known for a long time what the Reaper’s Sons have been up to, but I’ve needed someone on the inside — someone who isn’t one of them — to confirm it.”
“Which means you’ve been using me.”
“It was to keep you safe.”
“How?”
I need to hear an explanation from him, something plausible instead of manipulative. Everything between us has been built on respect and, right now, with every word, he seems to be tearing that down.
“Hammer runs their operation. Hammer doesn’t fuck around, if he’d questioned you and had even the slightest suspicion you were working for me and knew what was happening, you’d be dead.”
I press a finger into his chest. “So you lied to me. Kept me in the dark.”
“I didn’t want you hurt. I happen to give a shit about you.”
“Then respect me. Tell me the truth about things — and don’t make me have to come to you for it. Offer it up. And not after the fact.”
I could hit him right now. If my hands weren’t still tingling from the aftereffects of an incredible series of orgasms. It’s hard to be angry when you feel like you’re floating in the clouds, but, somehow, I’m managing.
Thanks to his help.
He sighs, exasperated.
“Fine.”
There’s a tick of silence.
“Go on,” I say.
Why do I have to encourage him to be truthful? Why is lying so baked into his identity?
He gives me a look that tells me to back off.
I’d wager he hasn’t done this much; being honest with someone.
“I’ve known bits and pieces of what the Reaper’s Sons were up to for a long time. I’ve known they were bringing in drugs from Mexico, and re-distributing. I’ve known they must have a place nearby where they cut and distribute the product, and I’ve known they’ve gotta have somewhere where they can store their cash before they launder it.”
“That’s a start,” I say. “Keep going.”
He glares at me. “I haven’t known where these places were, and the Reaper’s Sons have been pretty good about throwing me off their scent. I’ve been trying to get close to their operation for a while.”
“How?”
“Their last driver — the guy who bartended before you — was some straight-laced guy from San Luis. Approaching him was a mistake. I went to his house late at night to make him an offer, but I knew right after talking to him that he was going to crack the second Hammer looked at him sideways. To this day, the Reaper’s Sons think he just ran off.”
“What’d you do to him?”
I know what he did, but I don’t want to believe it.
“What do you think?”
I shiver. There’s a cruel, calculating side to Thrash that’s clawed its way to the surface. His willingness to use and cast aside people in pursuit of profit is frightening. People are just parts to a profit and loss equation to him.
Would he do the same thing to me?
How can I trust him?
He scoots closer to me and puts his arm around me as if sensing my fear. “I’m not going to let that happen to you. This is a dark business that I’m in, there’s no getting around that — I’ve done things that I’ll stay with me until I’m cold in the ground — but I’m not going to let any of that touch you. You’re not like the others. And I definitely haven’t baked brownies with anyone else’s mom. You mean something to me. Something more. Something greater.”
There’s so much heat in his voice that it chases away the chill. The thing is, despite everything he’s saying, I want to believe that he cares. I want to believe that he’ll keep me safe. I want to believe that the love I feel for him — and that I hope he reciprocates — is based on truth and not lies.
“So, how does this work? What are we doing?”
I don’t know if I’m asking about the plan, our relationship, or both.
“The day I bought all that Molly from you, I followed you, and then I followed Lucky once you handed over the cash. They keep the money at Hammer’s house on the outside of town. Which figures, because you’d have to be fucking nuts to make a move against him. So, the night of the mayor’s party at The Smiling Skull, we’re going to do just that and make our move. We’re going to knock them all on their asses and rip them off for everything they’ve got.”
I blink.
Is he insane?
Hammer’s as cunning and violent as they come. Just the thought of that man and what he’s capable of scares the shit out of me.
“Are you fucking nuts?”
“You need balls to make it in this business. Balls and a plan, and I’ve got both.”
I shake my head and look at him, doubtfully.
“How are you going to pull that off? How are you going to make a move against the whole damn club?”
He smiles. “Because you’re going to take them all out. You and Lexie.”
“How?”
He grins in a way that’s exceptionally proud. “I’ll tell you the day of. Anything sooner, and it could put you in danger. Until then, it’s a surprise.”
“No surprises, Thrash. We just talked about this.”
He puts a finger over my lips and gives me a smile that is so supremely confident I find myself quieted.
“Trust me.”