Lily watched Merle and Rhun drive away in Merle’s car. They’d given Alek and Lily a ride to Alek’s truck, which was still parked close to the theater where they picked up the human Lily fed from.

She quickly directed her thoughts away from the man, still not willing or able to deal with what she’d done. Why sink down a spiral of despair when denial was such a convenient option? Yep, denial it was.

Unfortunately, blocking out the topic of her feeding—on top of the already tabooed subject of her attack on her twin brother—meant her mind greedily latched on to the next big issue in her life right now, the sizzling attraction she felt to one fine demon male, currently getting into the driver’s seat next to her. She’d readily block that subject, too, but there were only so many things she could successfully suppress at once.

Alek slammed the door and started the engine, and his enticing scent filled the confines of the truck’s cabin within seconds. Crisp autumn nights, burning wood, and an essence of male that made her want to purr. Oh, she was in trouble.

Because his intimate touch felt way too good, and the fire he’d sparked in her with just a few adept moves of his fingers was too addicting to be anything but dangerous. If he could make her shiver and melt like that without even taking her clothes off, she didn’t want to imagine what he was capable of between the sheets, skin-on-skin, sweat-slick and hot, bodies tangled in passion…

“Lily,” he ground out.

She startled. “What?”

“You can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“Get aroused while I’m driving.” His fingers clenched hard around the steering wheel. “Your scent is making me crazy. If you don’t simmer down, I’ll pull over, drag you into the backseat, and lap up every last bit of you.”

Her eyes widened. Heat flooded her lower belly, his words evoking not only more memories of how he’d pleasured her before, but a number of new fantasies.

“Hell, Lilichka.” Alek cursed and rolled down his window.

She couldn’t help it. She laughed. He looked so tortured, so adorably struggling to remain in control of himself.

He shot her look as dark as it was sizzling. “I’ll get you back for this.” Focusing on the traffic again, he sobered. “I know you want to get right on searching for the pranagraha who shot you, and I’d love to help you out tonight, but I need to go to work. I already switched shifts with another sentinel last night so I could take care of you, but I can’t find anyone who will swap shifts tonight.”

Right, he did have a job. Watching her home. Just thinking about that brought a sting to her heart. Push it down.

“So,” he said on a deep exhale, “I’d suggest you could come with me, but that would mean you have to hold my hand the entire time in order for the invisibility charm to work on you as well. Not sure you’d like to be shackled to me like that the whole night. Plus, I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring you anywhere close to your house right now, what with Juneau’s witches probably patrolling the whole area.”

Lily decided not to further explore the numerous ideas her unruly mind came up with at the mention of being shackled to him. She cleared her throat. “Yeah, we should avoid that.”

“You can stay at my place until I get back.” He held up a hand to stop her as she took a breath, ready to speak. “I know you’d like to look for the demon, but I’d rather not have you roaming the streets alone.”

Her hackles rose at his domineering words.

“Stop growling.” He sent her a quick look. “Think about it. You’ll be more successful searching for him with me there to show you around the demon underbelly of the city. The risk that you’ll be spotted by other witches is high when you’re on your own. I can take you on paths unknown by witches. And,” he added, glancing at her again, “you’re still adjusting to being demon. Not that I think you’ll be the Hulk on the loose, but…”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Say it. You think I can’t control myself.”

They stopped at a red light, and he faced her fully, his eyes without mercy. “Can you?”

Grinding her teeth, she breathed through her nose, anger a rising pulse in her blood. The light turned green, and he broke eye contact to drive on.

She looked out the other window, clenched her hands to fists and quietly said, “I don’t know.”

It took a lot for her to admit that, and the truth tasted bitter on her tongue.

“I know this isn’t easy for you,” Alek murmured. “And I’m not pointing it out to be mean or to rub it in. I just need to be sure you won’t get hurt.”

She was itching to give him some form of I can take care of myself spiel, but the fact was, he did have a point. And damn if it didn’t grate on her to acknowledge that. “All right,” she said. “I’ll stay at your place while you’re gone.”

His shoulders lost some of their tension, and he shifted into a more relaxed position behind the wheel. “We’ll go looking for the pranagraha first thing tomorrow.”

Back at his house, he came inside with her and pointed to the kitchen. “You can eat anything you find. If you want to lie down, the spare bedroom you slept in last night is all yours.”

Grant came trotting over, having noticed his master was home. He wagged his tail with all the vigor of a geriatric dog, which in effect was little more than a tired wave.

“Hey, buddy.” Alek bent down to scratch the mutt’s ears. Looking up at Lily, he said, “I’ll walk Grant around the block real quick before I head out. If you do decide to sleep later, best keep your door closed, or he’ll end up in your bed. He doesn’t do well with boundaries.”

“Got it.”

Alek grabbed a leash from a hook next to the door, snapped it on Grant’s collar and went outside, the dog trudging after him.

Ten minutes later—Lily had helped herself to a bowl of Alek’s cereal and was munching that sitting at the kitchen table—Alek and Grant returned. The dog trotted over to her and lay down on top of her feet, resting his head on his front paws.

“If he bothers you, I can order him to lie down on his blanket.” Alek pointed to a cozy lounging area in the corner of the living room.

“No need. I don’t mind him.” She leaned down to pet Grant’s head. “As long as he doesn’t get too excited,” she added, eying the furry old guy.

“I hope he won’t pee on you.” Alek grimaced and muttered, “And I’ve always wanted to say that to a female.”

Lily grinned and winked at him. Returning her smile, Alek turned to the door.

“Oh,” he said and faced her again. “Almost forgot. Let’s exchange numbers.” He grabbed a pen and notepad from the counter, scribbled on it and handed her the note. “Call me if you need me. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Okay.”

He got out his cell, and she rattled off her number while he typed it in before he left.

And then she was alone. Well, not quite. There was a snoring dog on her feet.

* * *

Ten missed calls and fifteen text messages.

When Alek mentioned her cell phone, it reminded Lily that she hadn’t checked it since Merle gave it to her. Since it was running low on battery, she plugged it in using a cable she’d spotted in Alek’s living room tech area. Most of the calls and messages were from Baz, her mom, and Merle, along with some other witch friends like Lenora and Keira. The calls from her family and her best friend had stopped shortly after she attacked Baz, so she assumed they had found her phone by then. The other witches called right after the Elders meeting, when her phone had still been on mute.

And she had no inclination whatsoever to call back any of them. Having Merle in the know and on her side was enough right now, and she’d explain everything to the others once this unfortunate episode was over.

She turned the ringer on her cell up loud enough that she wouldn’t miss it if Merle or Alek called her, and then proceeded to snoop around the house. Nothing unethical like peeking into drawers, but whatever was openly on display was fair game.

Turned out Alek was a Star Wars fan, and either he had some brownies living here with a creative streak, or Alek actually enjoyed folding origami of Star Wars characters and props. One whole board in the living room shelf was lined with little Yodas, the Millennium Falcon, a bantha, R2D2, and many more items and figures from the movies.

Her cell phone rang, and she jumped about two feet. Pulse racing, she looked at the caller ID. Baz. A flush of adrenaline tingled along her nerves. Thumb hovering over the “accept call” button, she faltered. No, I can’t do this. Not yet. She swiped the call away so it would go to voice mail.

And her heart broke just a little at the silence that followed, shame heating her face. Throat suddenly thick and raw, she took a hitching breath, chucked the phone on the couch, and turned away.

With her heartbeat still thundering in her ears, she continued her exploration of the living room. She paused in front of a couple of framed photos of grinning kids. Two boys, about ten and five, and a little girl who couldn’t be more than a year old. Alek had mentioned he had a brother with kids, so these had to be his niece and nephews. She could definitely see some of Alek in the boys, which made sense if their dad was Alek’s identical twin.

A strange feeling twisted her chest. Almost like…longing. Which was ridiculous. She’d never been keen on having children. She accepted the fact she’d one day have to have at least one little critter, seeing as she’d become head of the Murray family and responsible for carrying on the line. But that could be done without a husband. Single mothers were much more common these days, and for that, she was truly grateful. No way was she going to get stuck in a marriage.

Or a mating.

An image of her mom rose from a dark corner of her mind. Her nowadays radiant face shadowed, her brown eyes tinged with sadness that latched onto Lily, sank into her bones while she watched her mom cringe at the venom in her dad’s words. Words that should have made any self-respecting witch bristle and fight, and yet…Hazel said nothing, did nothing, just…endured.

A ding from her phone jerked Lily back into the present. And there went her heart again, stumbling in her chest. Dammit. She grabbed her cell and checked it. The message was from Merle. Phew.

So, what’s the deal with that demon you’re hanging with?

She typed back, Did you find the dart??

She only had to wait a few seconds for Merle’s reply.

Oh, yeah, that. Found it. Working my mojo on it. So, while that is bubbling, tell me all about that pranagraha who couldn’t take his eyes off you. He looked positively smitten.

Lily couldn’t help grinning, and not only because of Merle’s understated way of revealing they were one step closer to solving whatever happened to Lily.

Alek, she texted. His name’s Alek. She sobered, the grin slipping off her face. And he’s not just smitten, he wants the real deal. As in, mating for life. A prospect that kicked her whole system into flight mode.

Merle’s response was a single, most eloquent, Thewhawhaaaa?

My reaction exactly, Lily typed back. I told him no, but…

She was pondering how best to describe the quagmire she was in with Alek when her cell rang again. Barely escaping another heart attack, she clutched her chest and calmed her breathing. It was Baz. She should really talk to him. But— Stomach sinking, she mentally hopped on her nope-octopus and noped away from that scenario. She let the call go to voice mail, again. And her heart broke, again. I’m sorry, Baz.

Her phone dinged with a message from Merle.

DID HE HURT YOU?? I SWEAR TO THE GODS I WILL SEND HIS ASS INTO THE SHADOWS.

Even though it was ridiculous, and she knew it, Lily actually held the phone away from her to mute the screaming-via-text. She’d apparently taken too long to finish her text and Merle had gotten the wrong impression.

Whoa, hakuna your tatas, girl, Lily replied. He didn’t. He’s an okay guy. You know, for a demon.

Then what’s the but for?

Lily sighed. I told him I don’t wanna mate, but he’s still interested in “having fun.”

And you’re not?

Yes, I am. I mean, have you seen him?

As a prim and properly mated/married female, I feel obliged to withhold any comment on that.

Lily snickered. Right. Anyway, I’d love to jump his bones, and he said he’s okay with no-strings sex, but knowing he does want those strings makes me feel like I’m leading him on if I have sex with him.

Have you talked to him about that?

Yes. He still wants to boink.

Lil. We had a discussion about using that word.

It’s totally legit. Merriam-Webster has it.

Moving on. So, are you his mom?

What? Ew. No. Why the fuck would you ask that?

Because you’re not responsible for his happiness, and it’s not your job to protect his feelings. He’s a big boy. He can watch out for himself. If you want to have fun with him and he wants to have fun with you, and he’s okay with your boundaries, then go for it.

Huh. If you put it that way…

Just want to make sure my BFF gets some.

Saucy wench.

Merle sent her a grinning emoticon. All right, gotta go examine that dart some more. You take care, okay?

Always.

No sooner than she’d sent off the text did her phone ding again. She checked it, expecting another message from Merle, and stopped short. She didn’t recognize the number.

Has Grant peed on you yet? the text read.

Realizing it was Alek, she grinned and typed back, Shouldn’t you be watching my house?

I am. I’ve successfully trained myself to multitask, you know.

She chuckled. Impressive. So, I’m guessing nothing much is going on right now?

Nope. Your mom is in the library, and Maeve is upstairs in her room. All quiet except…

???

Well, your brother is pacing the kitchen staring and cursing at his phone.

Her stomach dropped through the floor. She hesitated a moment then texted, He’s been calling me.

Ah. Not ready to talk to him yet?

The sigh that escaped her chest felt like the weight of the world. I can’t. What am I supposed to tell him?

How about sorry?

Like that’s so easy.

It is. You’re the one who’s making it complicated.

She stared at her phone, fizzing with annoyance. Before she could send off any of the sharp retorts tingling at her fingertips, Alek texted another message.

Merle mentioned he’s worried about you. She didn’t say anything about him being mad or holding a grudge.

Alek was typing some more, so Lily stopped her own texting and waited.

He’s been trying to talk to you, and going by what I’ve seen and heard so far, it’s not to yell at you. Lily, you’re stalling not because he’s hasn’t forgiven you. It’s because you haven’t.

That gave her pause. Could Alek be right?

You need to talk to him. Not just for his sake, but for your own, too. It’ll help you make peace with yourself.

She sat there on the couch, staring unseeing across the room. Damn, that demon had her pegged. Maybe she did need to forgive herself. Still easier said than done, but she could at least try.

Her phone dinged with another message from Alek. You still with me?

She shook herself and typed back. How come you’re so good at this shit? Do you have a psych degree?

Nope, just some experience with messing up and owning it.

She bit her lip. Thank you.

You’re welcome. Now please call that poor guy. His pacing is stressing me out.

Grinning, she texted, You’re such a delicate flower.

Watch it, tsvetochek.

So that was how that word was spelled.

Taking a deep breath, she opened her list of recent calls, and tapped Baz’s name before she could think twice. It dialed and rang once. Then he picked up.

“Lil?” His voice sounded strained.

A lump lodged in her throat, closing off her air supply and all ability to speak. She swallowed, trying to get something—anything—past that lump. Her heart raced so fast that little spots of light danced in her vision.

“If you start making Darth Vader sounds,” Baz said, his voice shaking despite his nonchalant tone, “I’ll still know it’s you. Beauty of having caller ID.”

A laugh bubbled up, slipped past the lump in her throat and broke through the grip of fear around her heart. She sucked in a huge lungful of air and leaned back against the couch. Her hand trembled while she held the phone to her ear.

“If I were to prank-call you,” she said, eyes filling with tears, “I’d scratch two knives together right next to the phone.” Baz hated the sound of metal on metal so much, he had a physical reaction every time he heard it.

“Now that’s more like it.” He paused, his voice quieting. “You scared me there, Lil.”

Annnnd the lump was back. “I’m sorry, Baz.” She rushed the words out before she lost the ability to speak again.

He made an impatient sound. “I don’t mean you attacking me.”

“But—”

“If you’re hung up on that, you need to let that crap go. I don’t hold it against you, so don’t even.”

She swallowed hard, the knot in her chest easing a bit.

“I was scared for you.”

How was Baz always better at admitting his feelings than she was? Shouldn’t it be the other way around, him being a guy and all? But truth was, Basil had been more open with emotional stuff since they were kids.

She took a deep breath, released it with closed eyes. “I’m scared, too.” There, she’d said it.

“Are you okay now? Like, how does it feel to be…”

“A demon?” She grimaced. “I miss my magic. It’s always been there, but now it’s just—gone. And…there’s this darkness.” Looking down, she fumbled with a thread of fabric on the couch. “Like, every violent impulse I’ve ever had, magnified and more powerful. In the literal sense, there’s power behind it. I’ve only just scratched the surface of what I can do, and I know I could tap even more of it.” She tugged at the thread then let it go. “But I’m afraid to.”

“Merle said there’s a life leech helping you?”

“Pranagraha,” she corrected, and went on to tell him about Alek, finishing with, “He’s kind of the reason you’re still alive. If he hadn’t thrown that stone at our back porch…”

“So I should hold off on the brotherly intimidation I have planned?”

The pressure on her chest eased at Baz’s casual way of distracting her. “I’m not sure he’d be intimidated, but I appreciate the thought.” She pursed her lips. “How are things with Nina?”

She could swear she heard a growl. Her brother never growled. “If I could break up with her twice, I would.” After a pause, he added, “I’m sorry the Elders found out.”

“Not your fault she blabbed to her mom.”

“I shouldn’t have told her.”

“You really need to let that crap go,” she said with a grin, giving back his own excellent advice.

Baz laughed, and she hadn’t known how much she’d needed to hear that sound until now. “Keep in touch, sis.”

“I will.” And she meant it.