I wondered if he knew.

If Nate knew just how much of an anchor he was sitting here holding on to me. If he let go, I might surely float out into the galaxy surrounding us and simply disappear.

Admitting how much of an uncharmed life I’d lived was one of the most difficult things. Second only to actually living through it. Some people would say I should be proud because of all the things I’d “overcome.” I didn’t see it that way, though.

I didn’t overcome my father’s criminal record or my mother’s overdose. I still lived with the heart-wrenching pain of losing the only woman who ever loved me to a disease I hated more than anything in the entire world.

Overcoming something means to rise above it. I never rose above anything. I wasn’t better than I’d been before. Being famous just opened a door for more heartache.

I’d actually never told anyone this much about myself, not even Will. I suspected he knew everything about me because that’s what Will did. He paid people to know things. I never actually laid it all out like this for him, for anyone.

This was a leap. A risk. Sort of my one “all-in” shot with someone. I hoped Ten had been right when he said Nate wasn’t going anywhere. If he left me after all this, I might never recover.

I was very afraid I was falling in love with him. The longer he sat here and held my hand, the more kisses he pressed to my hairline, and the more stupid jokes he cracked, I would fall deeper and deeper… until every last piece of my heart lay unprotected in his hands.

“I wondered when we’d get to him.” Nate made a face like he’d swallowed a rotten egg.

“I’m pretty ashamed.” I ducked my head.

“Why would you be ashamed, princess?” His hand was in my lap. I stared down at the contrast between our fingers.

“Because everything I just told you sucks, but none of it was really anything I did wrong, you know? Like I had no control over my shitty parents or that I grew up in what I now realize was poverty.”

He made a sound, and I lifted my chin. “That’s how you know you were raised by one of the good ones, sweetheart. You didn’t know you were poor until you were old enough to really look around.”

I smiled. Warmth suffused my chest. It was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said about my grandmother. “You’re right. I didn’t realize how much I didn’t have because Grammy always made it feel like we had everything.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until Nate swiped a tear from the corner of my eye.

“The stuff with Will?” I continued. “Everything that’s happened, I had control over… I was just too weak to stop it.”

“Stop what? The marriage?” The muscles in his jaw ticked when he said that. I never wanted to marry Will, but that feeling was even stronger now. Now I knew it bothered Nate.

“The marriage is just the last in a long line of bad decisions when it comes to Will.” I admitted. “Remember when I said I got an advance from Byron?”

Nate nodded.

“I spent it all on treatments and medicine for Grammy. She stayed in a care facility while I was working on my first single. I was scared to leave her home alone.”

He nodded encouragingly.

“Between signing the contract and when I started working on the single, there was a period of time. It wasn’t like an overnight thing. But the networking started right away. Byron started taking me around to parties and events, introducing me as his newest discovered star. I was so awed by it all. I’d never seen so much glamour in all my life.”

“That’s understandable, princess.”

I took a breath, feeling the familiar cramp in my stomach I always felt when I thought about how I first met Will. If I only knew then what I knew now…

“Will was at one of the parties. He was tall and handsome, rich, and everyone vied for his attention.”

Nate coughed. “Douche canoe.”

“I was shy and overwhelmed. Innocent in a lot of ways. Will introduced himself. I couldn’t believe he even noticed me.”

“I bet everyone in that room noticed you,” Nate rebutted, tucking my hair behind my ear.

“We talked. He was a nice guy. I liked being around him because he was my opposite. I was so shy, and he was the life of the party. Anyway, he started showing up at all the events I was at, and then one night, he asked for my number.” I laughed lightly, remembering how shocked I’d been. “I didn’t even have a phone. The look on his face…” I laughed.

Nate made a sound, and his expression… Let’s just say he wasn’t enjoying this conversation about Will. At all.

I pressed my lips together, afraid I’d made a mistake. “I’m sorry.”

He blew out a breath and pushed a hand through his hair. “Don’t be sorry. I just don’t like thinking about you with him. With anyone.”

I nodded, understanding. I wouldn’t be thrilled to sit and listen to him tell me about his relationship with another woman. “I wouldn’t tell you. I just…” I glanced up, held his stare. “I just want you to understand.”

Cupping my jaw, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I took solace in the kiss, in his warmth. It was short, more comforting than anything. When he pulled away, his palm remained. “I’m listening.”

“He became my friend, something I’d never really had before. He got me a phone, called me every day. He sent flowers on my birthday and helped me learn about the industry.” I fell silent a moment, hoping Nate could understand, even just a little, what small gestures like that meant for me. I’d never had anyone’s attention like that before. Especially not a rich, handsome, powerful man. “One day, Will called, and he could tell I’d been crying. Up until that point, I hadn’t told him about Grammy. I’d just been trying to make it ‘til my single came out and I had some money again. He could tell something was wrong, and I confided in him.”

Nate’s mouth flattened, and he stared out over my head, past the horses and the lights, into the darkness. “Go on,” he murmured.

“The facility Grammy was staying in while she got her treatments was kicking her out. I was out of money, and with no insurance, they weren’t about to let her stay. I took her home, and just a day after we got there, Will showed up. I don’t know how he found us. I never even asked.

“He looked around and said he couldn’t stand the thought of me and Grammy in such an unsavory place. He said he’d made arrangements with the best doctors in L.A. He had lined up all the treatments and medicines that I couldn’t afford. Even better than the ones I’d been able to pay for. Specialists all made room on their calendars for her, and suddenly, all these doors were open.” I glanced up at Nate, begging him to understand. “I couldn’t say no. How could I say no?”

He wrapped his arm around me and tugged me into his chest. I let out a sob into his shirt and fisted my hands at his chest.

“She was everything to me. All I could see then was making sure she wasn’t in pain.” My words were muffled against his chest, but I knew he heard them because he answered.

“I know, sweetheart. It’s okay. You did the only thing you could. You thought he was a friend.”

I wrenched away and swiped at my cheeks. “I did. I trusted him. He was so good to me. To Grammy. He paid for all her treatments and came to her appointments. He held my hand when I cried.”

Nate’s voice was the tightest I’d ever heard when he asked, “What happened?”

“Grammy lived a year longer than the doctors said she would. There at the end…” I paused as pain lanced through me. “At the end, she was so weak and sick. The treatments that tried to save her life left her drained. It was so selfish of me, Nate. So selfish to try and save her. I did all that because I didn’t want to have no one. Because she was the only person who ever loved me… So I clung to her. They pumped her full of medicine and chemicals, all to prolong her life… but what kind of life was it really?”

“No,” he intoned, pulling me back and staring into my face. “You are not selfish. And I never met your Grammy, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that she’s probably shaking her finger at you from up above.”

I laughed a little at the image he conjured up. I could totally see her wagging her finger at me for something she didn’t like.

Nate continued. “I’ve never been the one in the hospital bed, but my mother was. The treatments pretty much did the same to her—prolonged her life, but didn’t save it. I remember one night…” he said, his eyes sort of drifting. I knew he was looking into his mind, seeing the past as clearly as I could. “I’d gone to get something from the vending machine. When I came back, I heard my parents talking from outside the door. My mother was crying, but I still remember what she said.” He blinked and focused on me again. “She said, ‘I may be stuck in this bed, but any day that I’m still here and can see you and my son, even for just one more hour, it’s worth it.’”

“Oh, Nate.” I sighed and slid into his arms. We hugged each other for a while, just going around on the carousel, listening to the music that didn’t play at the correct speed.

“You aren’t selfish for wanting to keep someone you love in your life. You aren’t, and you never will be.” He insisted.

I felt as though this invisible weight I hadn’t realized I was carrying was suddenly no longer there. It was easier to breathe. “I did get to take her to the ocean. She’d never seen it before.” I smiled at the memory. It was painful to remember that day, but it was also wonderful. “She was more impressed with the palm trees than the ocean, though.” I snickered.

“Seriously, though, those trees grow coconuts!”

I laughed. “That’s what she said!”

“Smart lady.”

After a moment, my smile faded. “After she passed away, I was devastated. Will was there through everything. I promised I’d pay him back for everything he did, but he insisted he didn’t want my money. He said my love was more than enough.”

“He wanted you.” Nate surmised, then made a disgusted sound. “That stupid fucker. Your love is priceless, certainly worth more than some medical bills.”

Lifting my head off his shoulder, I stared at him in awe. “You think my love is priceless?”

His forehead collided with mine. “I think anyone who’s lucky enough to be loved by you has everything.” After kissing the tip of my nose, he swiftly pulled back and scowled. “Love isn’t a bargaining chip. And it’s not something you can pay for.”

My heart swelled. It had never felt so full before. No one ever acted as though me loving them was something special. Except Will… But Nate was right. If Will had really thought it was that precious, he wouldn’t have tried to put a price on it.

Tucking my cheek against his shoulder once more, I detailed, “After the funeral, he told me he loved me and he wanted a life with me.”

Nate’s body tightened. His hands balled into fists.

“My entire world changed overnight. My single was an instant success. I started making a ton of money, was on the cover of every magazine. Will paraded me around on his arm like a trophy, and we became official.” I paused, turning thoughtful. “Well, I thought we’d just become official, but Will considers all the time I thought we were just friends as us being together, too.”

Nate snorted. I laid my hand on his thigh and whispered, “It was a whirlwind, but it was good. Until he changed.”

“Didn’t like your success, did he?” Nate asked. “Probably made his ego feel about the size of his dick.”

“Oh, no. He liked my success. The more successful I became, the tighter he tried to hold on to me. I became more of a possession instead of a girlfriend. He started being photographed with other women, criticizing what I wore, or making comments to remind me I’d come from nothing and he helped make me who I was. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t know what to do. He was all I had. Literally. The friends I’d try to make when I moved to L.A. permanently, he’d find a way to get between us. And then I signed a contract for an album with Time Track. Up until that point, it had only been a few singles. You know, just to test to see how I’d do.”

“Will thought you would sign with Solberg.”

I nodded. “I knew that would be a huge mistake, though. Things with Will were already going downhill. He controlled almost everything. My career was the one thing he hadn’t been able to get ahold of. We got in a huge fight when he found out. He, ah… smacked me.” I’d actually forgotten about that. Or maybe I blocked it out of my mind. I guessed the last time hadn’t been the first time, and I knew if I didn’t stay far away from him, it wouldn’t be the last.

Nate sucked in a sharp breath, and I looked away, wanting to just finish. “I got my own place, and we broke up for a while. But he came back… and I forgave him. Every time I tried to walk away, he would remind me of what he did for Grammy and how I owed him. He claims he’s the reason my career is so hot, never mind Byron Ryan and Time Track.”

“How the fuck did you end up married to him, Aerie?”

I made a distressed sound. “I wish I knew.”

Nate surged up and paced out of the sled, between two bobbing horses.

“Please.” I rushed after him. “Believe me. Will and I have a messed-up relationship.” He turned instantly, his eyes boring into mine. I cringed. “Had.” I corrected. “We had a relationship. I’ve been trying to get away from him since before I met you.”

“Do you love him?” His tone was accusatory, but his eyes were wounded.

I gasped. “No!” Rushing forward, I nearly fell into him, but he caught me. “I thought I loved him… back when Grammy passed, after everything he’d done and how good he’d been to us.”

“He’s nothing but a con man with cash.” Nate fumed.

“I know. It took me a while to figure it out, but I know that. I never loved him. Never. I didn’t realize it until…” My lips snapped shut with an audible sound.

“Until?” he asked, his gaze sharpening. The hurt in his stare gave way to hope.

Until you. I wanted to say it out loud. But I was afraid. I straightened and shook my head slightly. “I could never love someone who calls me a toad in the media, who makes fun of my ‘hick’ name, flinches when my hands are cold, and tries to control me with fear… I—”

“Control you with fear? How?” he demanded.

My shoulders sagged. I felt as if I’d been pouring my heart out to him for ages, yet there was still more to tell. I couldn’t expect him to stick around and listen much longer. Why would he?

I swallowed. “Will called me today.”

“You answered?”

Instead of trying to explain why I made another dumb move, I decided to get right to the point. “He was at my house in Tennessee. He knew about the break-in.”

He jolted upright, reached out, and grabbed one of the brass poles for support. “What?”

“He said he was there to take me home where I belonged. Where he could protect me.”

“That no-good, dirty son of a bitch,” Nate intoned. His chest nearly vibrated with the words as they rumbled out of them. His green eyes flashed, and the air around him grew frigid. “He sent those men after you.”

I nodded. “He wouldn’t admit it. But I know. He’s trying to scare me back to L.A. Trying to control me with fear.”

“Make himself the only one you can rely on…” Nate murmured.

“Yes.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him I’d left town. I refused to say where I’d gone.”

“Good, that’s good.” His voice was thoughtful.

“But, Nate?”

He glanced up.

“When I realized what he’d done, I reacted. I yelled at him because you could have gotten shot.”

Nate blinked. Then a slow smile spread over his features. “You yelled at him about me?”

I nodded, forlorn. “Now he knows you were with me.”

His eyebrows lifted. “Ah. So he’s beyond pissed.”

I nodded again, twisting my hands in front of me. The very last thing I wanted was to drag Nate into the crosshairs.

“I’m getting in his way, aren’t I?” he mused, proud of himself.

“That’s not something to be proud of,” I pointed out. “He’s obviously willing to go to extremes to get me back under his thumb, and he has the money to do it.”

Nate’s eyes narrowed at the same time there was a horrible sound of grinding metal. The carousel lurched, began moving, then lurched again. I fell forward with the movement, knocking into Nate.

We fell onto the floor as the carousel stopped altogether. The music sounded even more wonky than before. The lights stayed lit, but the horses went still around us.

I was lying over his chest, him having broken my fall.

“Guess the ride’s over,” he quipped. I looked down, and we both laughed. He caught my face with his hands. “You okay? You hurt?”

I fell on him, and he was worried about me. “I’m okay,” I whispered.

“I’m actually surprised the old girl went as long as she did.” He patted the dirty metal floor.

“We’ve been here a long time,” I commented, gazing around. The horse beside my head had a chipped hoof.

“You talk a lot.”

I gasped, and he laughed. “C’mon, up.” Even though I was on top of him, he somehow managed to help us both to our feet. “Stay right here,” he told me and disappeared around the side of the ride.

A second later, the music died and the lights went out. Eerie silence pressed in around me. Standing on a broken carousel ride in complete darkness was suddenly not so romantic.

Nate appeared, the beam of the light from his phone leading the way.

“C’mon. Let’s get out of here.” He took my hand, led me to the edge, and jumped down. Before I could follow suit, he lifted me off the platform, setting me gently on my feet.

We were quiet during the walk to the car, something I might not have normally minded. That is, of course, when I haven’t just literally poured out my life story. I’d been sort of hoping I’d get some kind of response.

And not the kind where he declares it’s time to leave.

It’s too much to handle. He probably lost all respect for you. You’re weak. You let someone control you.

Drawing the keys out of his jeans, Nate walked to the passenger door first, opening it up for me. I tugged my hand free from his and stepped around, careful not to touch him anywhere.

Now he thinks you’re a toad, too.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, close behind.

Glancing over my shoulder, I gave him a curious stare. “Um, the car?”

The sound of his car keys hitting the driver’s seat with a thud filled the silence between us. “Not yet, you’re not.”

Nate’s hand wrapped around my wrist and tugged me back around. Strong arms encircled me, holding me against his chest. I inhaled, recognizing his scent instantly, comforted by it.

The palm of his hand settled on my head. He turned just enough to press his lips against my temple. My eyes sliding closed, his voice filled my ear. “Thank you for letting me discover you tonight, Miss Aerie Boone.”

My fingers flexed in the muscles of his back, and I clung to him a little tighter. My stomach was haywire, bouncing and twitching all over the place. I could barely breathe, and I could honestly say I had never, not ever, felt this way with anyone else.

I shifted just enough so he could hear me ask, “What exactly did you discover?”

He pulled back and smiled down at me. “That I was right all along.”

I rolled my eyes, but still I couldn’t help but want to know. “Right about what?”

“You’re not a toad. You’re a princess.”