CHAPTER THIRTEEN
It was the rich scent of vegetables roasting in garlic that woke me from the dead. The curtains were closed in the pale-yellow guest room, but I could see by the softened glow peeking around the edges that the day was waning. Thankfully, my nap had stopped the surreal scattering of my brain. My vision was clearer, my ears had stopped ringing and my inner centrifuge had slowed to an uneasy swirl. I tried to breathe past the mid-sized sedan parked on my chest.
Nope. Not quite yet.
My stomach rumbled long and loud and I forced myself out of bed. I didn’t dare look in the mirror as I shuffled to the door. The last thing I wanted was to look at myself. I may never be able to look at myself again.
Down in Terran’s family kitchen, Rowan stood at the side counter pouring a cup of coffee while Terran’s mother, Gaia, bustled around between the counter and the stovetop situated on the wide island across from it.
“Where’s Coal?” I asked, searching the corners of the room as I entered.
Rowan clattered the coffee pot against his mug. He cursed beneath his breath and I grabbed a cloth to mop up the spill.
“Sorry. Are you burnt?”
He shook his head, the copper highlights in hair catching the light as it flowed. He poured his coffee and set the pot back onto its hot-pad. “Terran and his father took Coal to the barn to introduce him to the livestock. The poor little bugger’s never been outside the first ring. Agriculture is a marvel to him.”
Rowan poured me a cup of coffee and gestured to the cream pitcher and sweetener. I nodded, waiting behind one of six hand-hewn chairs nestled around the long, wooden table.
He handed me a mug. “How are you holding up, Princess?”
“Honestly, not great.” I barely got the words out before my throat began to close again. I pushed past it, focusing on the warm brown scruff shadowing his chiseled jaw. With the growth of a long day, the thin white line of a scar was revealed just under his right cheekbone. “I’ve taken up your whole day. I’m likely keeping you from something.”
“We’re fine. Estes returned to the palace to cover for us and sent the launch back. He said as long as we returned with his men by this evening’s guard rotation he could keep your business your own. He’s going to find out who did this, Lexi. He wanted you to know that.”
I hadn’t thought much about that, but yes, as soon as my mind was steady, I’d track down the coward who did this and gut the fucker. The fingers of my free hand caressed the hilt of my knife where it lay, sheathed against my thigh. My chest eased a bit with that thought, though the pain just seemed to relocate into my back.
“Is there anything I can do?”
I could use a hug. “I . . . uh, I’m really hungry actually.” I sipped at the caffeine ambrosia and joined Terran’s mom by the stove. “That smells amazing. What is it?”
“Zucchini friers and stuffed peppers, tomatoes and eggplant.” She turned and bobbed her head then spun back to the stovetop and continued flipping the friers. “If that pleases you, Princess. If not, I could—”
“No. That sounds delicious.”
Gaia’s shoulders relaxed. “I made all of Terran’s favorites. It’s been so long since he’s had leave to come home. It’s wonderful to have him here, if only for . . .” Gaia turned, spatula in hand, her smile failing. “Forgive me. How thoughtless to be glad for anything right now.”
I shook my head. “Don’t apologize. Tham would be the first one to celebrate you spending time with your son. He loved families. He grew up alone and rejoiced in the little moments with as much enthusiasm as the momentous ones.”
“He sounds like a wonderful man.”
I nodded, pointing to the pastry spirals set out on a plate to cool. “May I?” With her motherly insistence, I picked one up and bit into it. The flavor burst into my mouth and my insides inched toward feeling alive again. There was no helping it. I wolfed down three of them before I could stop. “I don’t think I’ve eaten anything since lunch yesterday. Gods, this is good.”
Terran’s mom beamed and curtsied. “What an honor it is to have you in our home.”
I waved away her formality and accepted the platter to take over to the table.
“Eat,” she said. “There are plenty more for when the men return from the barnyard. Are you feeling any better?”
“I feel like a limp sock being thrown around in a dryer, actually.”
Rowan slid a golden frier onto a small plate and blew on his fingers. “I remember what that’s like. When I found out my parents had been killed it was the same.” He winced and for a second I thought it was because he’d burned his fingers. “Sorry, you don’t need to hear about that.”
I took a long sip of coffee and let the warmth of it slide down the back of my throat. “That’s okay. What happened to your parents?”
“The Queen.” He set his plate down next to his coffee and pulled out a chair for me. “Sit. You look like you’re going to drop over.”
“I’m fine.”
He grabbed my shoulders, plunked me down and then sat next to me. “Doctor’s orders.”
“Do you manhandle all your patients?”
His mouth twitched at the corners. “Just the difficult ones. Now eat.”
I bit back the urge to crack him one in the face and took another swig of my coffee. “You really get off on being a bully, don’t you?”
“It’s what I live for.” He edged my plate closer. Ignoring my scowl, he bit into his frier and sat back. “I was in my final segment of medical training when they were killed. It had been five full cycles since the Queen started her campaign to strengthen the noble houses and segregate the races into the four rings. Things weren’t great in Attalos, but the hostile times seemed to be behind us. Otherwise, I never would have left the city.”
“So, what happened?”
“My little sister hit puberty.” That seemed innocuous enough, but by the way Rowan’s brow pulled together it was obviously not. “My parents were both Water Fae and carried those traits, as did my sister and I. But if there’s going to be a shift in an Attalosean’s dominant gene it happens during puberty or because of an incredibly stressful event.”
“And hers was puberty?”
He nodded. “My mother’s mother hailed from the Fire colony outside Tavas. She married my grandfather when they were quite young and moved into the city to find work. Both my mother and her sister were born there and inherited Water traits.”
“With my father water-blooded back through generations, they never thought Elani would be any different.”
My mouth dropped open. “Elani? Not the little—”
Rowan nodded. “Yes, your servant girl is my sister. She’s four cycles younger than I am, but we’re very close.” He took a long drink of his coffee. “When puberty hit, her hair changed color. The Queen charged my parents with deceiving the Noble Council. They were accused of falsely registering an offspring as Water and conspiring to conceal her fire gene. They killed my parents and seized Elani as an example to the citizenry.”
“Did they come after you?”
The look of devastation that flashed across his face sent a chill up my spine. He pushed his plate away, his pastry hardly touched. “Not to capture. The Queen made sure I was worth more to her free and disgraced.”
“How so?”
After another drink of his coffee, Rowan stared into the half-empty mug. “My family name was traipsed through the gutters of Attalos, my parents murdered, our home vandalized and our standing in the community tarnished.”
“Can you rebuild?”
“I intended to. I reacted much like you when you first got here. I stormed into the Nobles’ Council and demanded justice. When those cowards wouldn’t even consider helping me, I went to the palace and tried to reclaim Elani myself.”
“What happened?”
The muscles in his jaw flexed. “The Queen had me restrained while Elani was stripped and raped by her Strati guards in front of me. She was only a child and I didn’t know how to free her.”
“Don’t think about it. We’ll go back to the palace and we’ll get her out.”
“And do what, run? Where? The Queen has spies everywhere. If they catch us it’ll only make things worse.”
“Then we’ll go back to Haven. I live in a mountain sanctuary. You’ll be safe.”
“That’s all well and good assuming you can get her out of the palace, which is unlikely. Then we need to get access to the portal pond, which will sound the general alarm. Then you have to make it so the Queen’s personal Strati don’t come after us, which will never happen.”
“It could—”
“Then, we’d have to forget about how all the citizens of Attalos still suffer in a life of violence and iron rule while we’re hiding, tucked away on a mountain where we don’t know anyone.”
“Well, it’s better than being raped or not standing up for yourself.”
His body went rigid as his expression hardened. The legs of his chair scraped against the tile floor as he pushed away from the table. We were alone in the kitchen. Terran’s mother had left us during the telling of Rowan’s story.
“There’s nothing to be gained by running,” he growled. “Trust me, I’ve thought of nothing else for ages. Every time that bitch touches—”
“What?” I was out of my chair and squaring off before I thought better of it.
“Nothing.”
“Every time the Queen touches what? Who? Rowan, what aren’t you telling me?”
“Princess? You okay?” Terran asked from the hall.
I whirled around to the doorway of the kitchen. Terran, Coal and Terran’s parents looked like they had stepped into a den of feeding lions and desperately wanted to back away.
“Yes,” Rowan said regaining some attempt at composure. “Forgive me for raising my voice in your home. You and your parents have been most gracious hosts. If you’ll excuse me.”
“Where are you going?” I shouted after Rowan. Holding my hand up for Terran and Coal to stay put, I followed him outside and along the front of the house. His stride was long and I had to jog to stay at his side. “What don’t you want to tell me? What else is there?”
“Leave it alone.”
I snorted. “Yeah, like that’s going to happen.”
“Then leave me alone.” Strong fingers strangled my upper arms as he seized me up and shook me so hard my teeth rattled. “Go back to your sanctuary and grieve your boyfriend. Forget about Attalos and our tormented city. Just go.”
My blood pulsed in my veins, his anger affecting the both of us. “I’m not going anywhere until I find out who killed Tham and figure out how to fix whatever is broken in Attalos. Like it or not you’re stuck with me.”
“I don’t like it,” Rowan shouted in my face, looming over me until his nose was an inch from mine. His breath was warm, his eyes flashing with flecks of gold and green. “Why couldn’t you be as vapid as the rest of them? Why do you have to be so . . .”
“So, what?” I snapped, twisting in his vise grip.
“So, you.”
Before I could register the shift in his mood, he yanked me forward and captured my lips. His kiss was fierce and hot, hungry and possessive. His tongue raided my mouth as his hands released my arms and pulled me against the solid wall of his chest.
Never in my life had I tasted anything like him. Passion and dark spice tingled in my mouth and seared through my bloodstream. He tightened his fist in the back of my hair, his desperation lighting a fuse inside me. It sizzled through every nerve and had my body aching. For the first time in days, the pain of anger and disappointment abated, replaced with something even more powerful. Gods, the man could kiss.
His tongue fought with mine as my hands explored his honed, rippled muscles. A low moan escaped my throat as every hormone in my body fired at once. Eyes closed, I breathed in the scent of his skin mixed with a faded trace of his cologne.
When he spun us to the side of the house and pinned me against the stone surface, I thought our bodies might ignite. There was fire in this man and more than just in his DNA. As his free hand slid under my shirt, my hands found the back of his slacks. I rucked up the tail of his dress shirt and set my finger loose across the smooth, muscled plane of his back.
His hips rocked forward, those linen pants doing nothing to soften his erection against my stomach. A shudder of need tore through me.
It was more than wanting to vanquish the guilt and anger. It was more than trying to refill some of the emptiness of losing Tham. I wanted Rowan. I wanted him on top of me, pressing me into the cool, hard ground. I wanted to writhe, skin-on-skin, have my way with all this lean, toned muscle. No interruptions. No inhibitions. I wanted the two of us to lose our minds until both of us were sweaty, sated and spent.
His kiss left my lips and seared a trail across my jaw to my neck. His thumb stroked and teased my nipple as his thigh parted my legs. “Yes.”
“No!” Rowan growled and pulled away. Shaking his head, he ran both his hands through his tousled bronze hair “Gods, what’s wrong with me . . . I, uh . . . that was . . .”
“Fantastic?” I traced my fingers over my swollen, still tingling lips.
A devilish smile pulled at his mouth as he sucked air into his lungs. “I was going to say it was a mistake.”
“Why?”
The look he flashed me was so hilarious I had to laugh.
“Have you forgotten your impending marriage to Zale at your sixth anniversary celebration? That’s in four days.”
I sank back, using the wall of the house to hold me up. “Never gonna happen. I say we go back to the palace, get your sister and head to the outer ring until we have a plan. You must have family there somewhere. What about that Tavas place your grandma came from?”
“I can’t, Lexi.” Rowan turned his back to me and let his head drop back. “You don’t know how badly I wish I could, but you just don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand.”
Rowan’s shoulders tensed and when he turned, a wave of emotion crashed over his rugged features, anger, pain, regret. “If I tell you, you’ll never look at me the same way again.”
I swallowed. What could be so terrible that he thought it would forever taint my opinion of him? I didn’t say a word, I just stood there and waited.
“It’s stupid to keep it from you. The whole city knows.”
“Knows what?”
Rowan dropped his gaze to the palm of his hand and scratched at nothing. He swallowed and seemed to brace himself. “To ensure that my family’s humiliation is not forgotten the Queen has made me her whore. It’s public knowledge that I’m her filthy play-thing. If I refuse, the Strati take it out on Elani.”
The tangle of emotions on his face choked at my throat.
“I’m sorry I kissed you. I had no right.” Rowan’s body was so tense he looked like he might break out of his own skin.
My mind whirled with a fury I’d never known before. Pushing away from the wall of the house, I paced and tried to form the words to make this right. The woman was horrible. She had to be stopped.
I thought about what Sera told me in the apothecary room beneath my father’s townhouse. She and Balor had given me every advantage they could . . . to ensure I grew up with what I needed—
“I see how angry you are,” Rowan said, turning toward the direction of the waterway. “I hope you can forgive me.”
I moved directly in front of him and blocked his path. “I am angry. I’m furious, but not at you. I’m furious for what you and your sister and Coal and everyone has gone through under this psycho-bitch’s rule. I’m furious that she had Tham, the sweetest, funniest man I’ve ever known, killed for no reason other than to show me that she could. And I’m furious that you thought so little of me that you expected to be judged for something that’s been taken out of your control.”
“You don’t condemn me for it?”
“For what? Enduring? Surviving? Sacrificing yourself to save your sister?” I ran my hand down the scruff of his stubbled jaw and grabbed hold of his face. “Nothing has changed. I don’t judge my friends . . . ever. You’re still the same hot Doc who moonlights as a swordsmith and can out-kiss an incubus demon on the make.”
I waggled my brow and flashed him a smile. “And I know that firsthand, by the way.”
Rowan exhaled hard and exhaled. “Who are you Alexannia Grace?”
“I’m a friend. I’m hot tempered, impulsive, headstrong . . . but loyal.”
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “I’m not used to anyone standing with me.”
“Well, get used to it. We’ll figure this out.” I drew a deep breath and was reminded that dinner was waiting. “But first we eat.”