CHAPTER TEN
Valdez
I stretched and groaned, I felt the slight burning on my shoulders as skin tugged at the scratches there. There was red hair on my pillow. My red flannel shirt I had worn the night before was gone. The smell of lavender drifted up from the blanket. Hell. My words and actions played back through my head. The ones I could remember through the alcohol driven stupor any way.
Panic struck.
Kenai.
Blanket wrapped around my waist, I headed to the main part of the office, the curtain on the plate glass window facing the street and Broken Tusk Inn was open. Town already talked about me in harsh rumors like I was trash, I didn't give a shit who saw me with my chest and arms scared from hunting Others. Teeth and claws left unwanted reminders even after you’d burned bodies. Kenai covered his scars with ink. I wore mine for the mistakes they were. But, those were irrelevant at that moment. I needed to make sure my brother was alive.
The cordless phone fell to the floor as I fumbled with it, the batteries and back skidding across the hardwood floor. I grabbed for the desk phone. I had to dial the number half a dozen times before I managed to enter my brother’s number correctly with my shaking hands.
Too many rings. Pick up, pick up.
“Sesi.”
I remembered how to breath as I gripped the edge of my desk at the sound of his voice. Kenai was alive. It had been a dream.
I remembered the red hair, the blue eyes. That was the girl that had put me on my ass with the truck door yesterday afternoon. Was I really that drunk? Well, that was a stupid question. I had been that drunk.
I groaned as my actions from what I thought was a dream replayed in my head. It wasn’t a wonder she’d left before I woke up after some of the things we’d done last night.
“Dez? You there?”
It took a moment for my voice to cooperate.
“Yeah. Find us a job. I need to hunt,” was all I could manage.
“We taking Connor?” His voice was tentative. Connor must have ridden his ass about hunting if he was advocating on behalf of my child.
“No.” Then I thought better of it. “He needs to get better with a gun first. Figure out who can take him shooting.”
I hung up the phone before he could question why I changed my mind.
I flopped in the desk chair, trying to process everything. The only red-head in town was the one who hit me with the truck door. I didn't even know that girl’s name, but she had been in Minnie’s truck. She had to be the one who I had bought the plane ticket for. I put my head down on the desk. Minnie would have my ass for what I’d done with that girl last night. I’d given up hope that it was a dream, but a tiny part of me was worried that Willow had actually come back to town.
I dialed Koda.
“What?”
“Check the security cameras at the office for last night, Koda.”
I was met with silence.
“Did I interrupt something, Kodiak?”
“No. I was just doing orders for Broken Tusk. But I figured, of all things, you'd know how to check the security cameras. I’ve only shown you a dozen times. Give me a minute while I log in.”
“I need you to check between about seven last night till this morning.”
“Do you mean after you left my bar trashed and went after my customers? Cash said you stopped in drunk off your ass. He’s got a split lip and a broken rib from when you tossed him in to the bar, Remmy’s got a black eye, a couple other regulars have other bruises. I’ve got at least one broken chair and cracked table. And, the cherry on top of all this is you cornered and kissed some red-head that’s in town for the week. You’re lucky no one is pressing charges.”
I rubbed my forehead, but didn't respond. I’d hoped that was just part of the dream. Nice to see I’d managed to keep up my record for doing stupid things. A visit from Chief Matthews of the Alaska State Troopers was undoubtedly in my future. He’d want to know what happened.
“Fine. We won't talk about that then, but you’re paying for the furniture. While I'm working on this, you want to talk about my kid?”
I closed my eyes and tried to not sigh. I really didn't want to. I was too conflicted about the situation. That child shared blood with me. My loyalty first fell to my family, no matter what. Pops had made sure of that. And her kid was family. I protected my family, whether or not I accepted his father.
“Rook has our blood, Koda. We’ll get him back.” I paused. “And if he wants to carry on the family hunting, I will help you train him when he's old enough.”
Those words were the first I had said in weeks that had brought me any peace.
“Who are you, and what did you do with my brother?”
I snorted and touched my nose that still wasn't healed.
“Doesn't mean I'm okay with your damn seal lover.”
“Husband.”
“Other. Who I still want to skin.”
“There's the big brother I know and love. Still love that you sent me the dead raven as a wedding present.”
Yeah. I shouldn't have done that, but I was pissed.
“Why are you sitting in the office with no shirt?”
The cameras worked. That was a good thing.
“Just check the damn video, Koda.”
“Are you naked with the window open? Geez, Dez. Did you-”
“Koda,” I barked in warning. I needed her to focus. She was just as maddening with the beginning throbs of a hangover as she was when I was sober.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m looking now. So far, it's just you drinking. What are you expecting me to find?”
“Not sure.”
“Please tell me you're not looking for a sex tape. I really don’t want to see-”
“Kodiak!”
That was exactly what I was hoping she didn’t find.
“Oh. What the-” She went silent, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end. “Weird. The video cuts out about one in the morning. Then nothing at all. Nothing from today either.”
“Damn it.”
“Care to tell me what you did after leaving Broken Tusk? Or what you think you did?”
“Nope.”
“Dez-”
I hung up the phone and put my head back down on the cool wood of my desk. The hangover was in full swing. That was not something I missed in my life. I opened the desk drawer to grab some medicine for the splitting headache. My handgun was still in its holster, but my knife was gone.
The string of curses I let out would have made my grandfather proud and my father cringe. I slammed the drawer shut. That girl had taken my knife. Willow didn't have blue eyes. She wasn’t even in the same state. If she had actually been there, that knife would be in my chest. Who the hell was the new red head? I didn't even know her name, and yet, it was the second time she was putting me on my ass.
The clock on the wall chimed the hour and I was swearing in time with the notes. It was 10 am. I had too much on my plate: my dogs, the contractors I had to get back to, my new nephew, my own son, and the hunt I had asked my brother to find. Now I had to chase down this freaking woman who I had mistaken for my ex and slept with. I didn’t even know where to start, but I couldn’t let things in my life get to me again. Not like it had yesterday. Not going in to winter with the Others coming out from hiding.
There was a tapping on the window behind me. I didn’t even bother to look. I dropped the blanket as I walked in to the back of the office for a shower and to find some new clothes.
I saw my father's journal lying there in a heap. I stooped to pick it up, my head screaming from the hangover, berating myself for ever throwing something so precious when it was all I had left of him. Of all of them.
I reverently smoothed out the pages, doing my best to undo the creases I had caused. The last page to unfold bore an entry from when I was about six months old. After last night, I shouldn't have read anymore, but I did anyway.
January 31 - I walked away. I couldn't do it. I couldn't put them at risk anymore.
The next few pages were torn out. I ran my finger along the torn edges, wondering what the missing pages had contained. How had I missed that before? The next entry was the day before my first birthday.
August 5 - I hadn’t believed her. I should have. Morgan has always been a liar, but I was too scared to listen to her. But today, I saw her standing there in the driveway, V in her arms, and I couldn't let her go again.